Categories > Games > Sonic the Hedgehog > Fuck the Jesus Beam
Fuck tha JEAU BEAM
athengen toppa solnen tailan fic
By: LOVEPOINT33
"EHEHEHEHEHEHEH."
AUTHNO: Sup my fahn and wonderful CUNTS! It's been about an hour! Time for the next xhapted, AND IT FUCKING ROCKS.
CHAPTER FUCKING AWSOME: YOUR. HEAD. EXPLODED.
Groaning, I pulled myself off the floor. O.B.A.M.A. had not been gentle when he tore open reality. Not at all. My personality was splintered, fractured into thousand of glimmering, darkling pieces. Then I remembered I was down a hand.
"Shit..." I muttered. I hadn't wanted to use even a little bit of my flower power, but... Summoning the Legio Cornu required two.
Sighing, I opened my palm's flower, watching as the miracle of antilife happened before my eyes. It antiwithered, antigrew, and antisprouted. Reality cracked, and dark mists poured out from the Deep. I held out my stump, and the black mists danced around it, infernal nightmares the size of bacterium testing my flesh. If they found it yeilding, I would die, but not before my insane screams echoed into the neverwhere and my body pulsed and twitched, languishing in the embrace of venereal diseases.
Niamy is not yielding.
Almost with a sigh, thew mists bent to my will, forming a hand of perfect ebony black microdemons, joining together. The color of it slowly lightened as the quanta of decay was diluted by my body. I hacked up some phlegm.
It was full of maggots.
I ate it.
Relishing the snack, I began climbing up the pole sideways, back into the fifth dimension. Insanity embraced me, and I was a young boy watching his mother get shot to death my bullets made of flowers from guns made of lasers generated by the rotting corpse of a mummified penguin that had died in the Western Sahara during a rainy day looking for an icecube that had been stolen from it's home in Tierra del Fuego by an army of mutant locusts cast from the blue flame of a fathers hatred towards his only son caused by the boy's madness from see his other get shot to death by bullets made of pillows.
And so the cycle repeated.
After a long, long time, I came up, back into the Dai-Sonen. For a day, I just sat on the deck, curled up into a fetal position, crying. I was relieved. So, so relieved. I was- Who was I? WHO WAS I! Ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod. I screamed with my voice and my mind, my heart and my soul, my love and my hate, and the sky -shattered-.
Two days later, I was still screaming with everything but my voice. THe door opened.
"Niamy, what-!", Johniral began, and then... Then he saw the pole. And he understood. "Oh God," he said.
"N-nuh-Niamy," I rasped out, "M-my n-na-name?"
"Yeah. Yeah. You just stay here. I'll be back in a-"
"NO!", I shouted, "no..." I whispered. A look of pain flashed in his eyes before he said, "Okay. Okay. I'll say right here."
Four days later, I was mostly intact again. But... No. Never again. Never, ever again. I've made compacts with behemoths and leviathans and creatures of the outer night. But that Pathway through the fifth dimension... Never. Again.
Finally, I pulled myself up. Joniral's body was beside me, having ran out of power. I placed a culture of nanofiends on his head.
"My gift to you," I whispered. He would never need to recharge again.
Walking out onto the main deck, I came across the corpse of the Fetus Inferna I had killed almost a week ago, only... It wasn't. In the fetus's place were four dead puppies, and one very alive one. It had been eating the corpses of it's littermates.
"Smart," I said, looking down at it. It wagged it's tail uncertainly. "Well, come on, little one," I said, before turning down the hall for Simaoils body lay. I needed him alive for the ceremony that was to come. The puppy followed from a distance.
I turned into the room, and stopped. His body wasn't there, which could only mean that he had resurrected himself. Good. He would actually be durable now. But... If he had brought himself back, why hadn't he come to my aid? There was only one conclusion.
Traitor. The word burned in my mind like a neon sign on a dark night, powered by the light of a million dying suns, and finally I was.. I WAS COMPLETE. It had taken that singular rage to bring me back to a state of Situs Intacta.
"Kaminic," I muttered, "Just stay right where you are. I'll save your sorry ass. Just you wait."
Later, outside, I finished drawing the circle. The Magic Circuit only needed a sacrifice to spin on. I bent down to my knees, and coaxed the puppy to me. It took a few minutes, but eventually, it was close enough, and I shot out snake fast and grabbed it. It immediately snarled and began struggling, trying to bite me.
"I was planning on using Simaoils for this," I said, "But you, you'll work almost as well."
I tore it's head off and bathed in the shower of arterial blood and then I began to chant.
"In vivo veritas,
Invictus Verum,
Now the Chosen Time has come,
Let old debts be remembered,
From the beginning of the past,
Let the ancient promise be fulfilled,
And the Compact Realized at last."
The skies blackened, and clouds formed from the blue sky. Pillars of electricity fell to the sixteen cardinal point of the circle, and the air groaned with strain as a hle was torn in time and space, and finally, out of it. WIth abrupt suddeness, my flower power was drained, completely and utterly, leaving me temporarily nothing more than an ordinary Hedgewoman.
Great doors appeared in the center of the circle, thousands of feet high and wide. On them were carved naked men and dogs, dying of a thousand afflictions, all in a rictus of pain and terror.
They opened, a a single Legend strode out into the real. Commander John Shephard. He was half-naked, wearing tight leather pants that were entirely too short. His mane was resplendent in the afternoon sun, his massive horn defying gravity majestically. His abs were ripped, his arms bulging with inhuman strength, supporting the Machine Shotgun Special that was his pride. The gun could fire 500 rounds a second, and was xapable of reducing an elephant into a mist of blood in half that.
He neighed, and spoke, human words coming from the head of a unicorn, "Mein Furher, is it Time?"
"Yes," I said, "Call the rest of the Legio Cornu now."
"JAWOHL, MEIN FURHER!", he responded, and obeyed, letting forth a wild neigh, which faded into the blackness beyond the doors.
At first, there was nothing. Then, the ground began to shake rhythmically.
And then, Legend Strode from the land of Myth, into This World. They were my army. Elite beyond elite. Men, graced with the heads of unicorns, wearing the armor of Space Marines, armed with nuclear assault rifles.
As one, they shouted, "SIEG HEIL!"
O.B.A.M.A. wouldn't know what had hit him.
I smiled, and the sun shat itself with fear.
MOTHERFUCKING END OF CHAPTER FUCKING AWESOME.
athengen toppa solnen tailan fic
By: LOVEPOINT33
"EHEHEHEHEHEHEH."
AUTHNO: Sup my fahn and wonderful CUNTS! It's been about an hour! Time for the next xhapted, AND IT FUCKING ROCKS.
CHAPTER FUCKING AWSOME: YOUR. HEAD. EXPLODED.
Groaning, I pulled myself off the floor. O.B.A.M.A. had not been gentle when he tore open reality. Not at all. My personality was splintered, fractured into thousand of glimmering, darkling pieces. Then I remembered I was down a hand.
"Shit..." I muttered. I hadn't wanted to use even a little bit of my flower power, but... Summoning the Legio Cornu required two.
Sighing, I opened my palm's flower, watching as the miracle of antilife happened before my eyes. It antiwithered, antigrew, and antisprouted. Reality cracked, and dark mists poured out from the Deep. I held out my stump, and the black mists danced around it, infernal nightmares the size of bacterium testing my flesh. If they found it yeilding, I would die, but not before my insane screams echoed into the neverwhere and my body pulsed and twitched, languishing in the embrace of venereal diseases.
Niamy is not yielding.
Almost with a sigh, thew mists bent to my will, forming a hand of perfect ebony black microdemons, joining together. The color of it slowly lightened as the quanta of decay was diluted by my body. I hacked up some phlegm.
It was full of maggots.
I ate it.
Relishing the snack, I began climbing up the pole sideways, back into the fifth dimension. Insanity embraced me, and I was a young boy watching his mother get shot to death my bullets made of flowers from guns made of lasers generated by the rotting corpse of a mummified penguin that had died in the Western Sahara during a rainy day looking for an icecube that had been stolen from it's home in Tierra del Fuego by an army of mutant locusts cast from the blue flame of a fathers hatred towards his only son caused by the boy's madness from see his other get shot to death by bullets made of pillows.
And so the cycle repeated.
After a long, long time, I came up, back into the Dai-Sonen. For a day, I just sat on the deck, curled up into a fetal position, crying. I was relieved. So, so relieved. I was- Who was I? WHO WAS I! Ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod. I screamed with my voice and my mind, my heart and my soul, my love and my hate, and the sky -shattered-.
Two days later, I was still screaming with everything but my voice. THe door opened.
"Niamy, what-!", Johniral began, and then... Then he saw the pole. And he understood. "Oh God," he said.
"N-nuh-Niamy," I rasped out, "M-my n-na-name?"
"Yeah. Yeah. You just stay here. I'll be back in a-"
"NO!", I shouted, "no..." I whispered. A look of pain flashed in his eyes before he said, "Okay. Okay. I'll say right here."
Four days later, I was mostly intact again. But... No. Never again. Never, ever again. I've made compacts with behemoths and leviathans and creatures of the outer night. But that Pathway through the fifth dimension... Never. Again.
Finally, I pulled myself up. Joniral's body was beside me, having ran out of power. I placed a culture of nanofiends on his head.
"My gift to you," I whispered. He would never need to recharge again.
Walking out onto the main deck, I came across the corpse of the Fetus Inferna I had killed almost a week ago, only... It wasn't. In the fetus's place were four dead puppies, and one very alive one. It had been eating the corpses of it's littermates.
"Smart," I said, looking down at it. It wagged it's tail uncertainly. "Well, come on, little one," I said, before turning down the hall for Simaoils body lay. I needed him alive for the ceremony that was to come. The puppy followed from a distance.
I turned into the room, and stopped. His body wasn't there, which could only mean that he had resurrected himself. Good. He would actually be durable now. But... If he had brought himself back, why hadn't he come to my aid? There was only one conclusion.
Traitor. The word burned in my mind like a neon sign on a dark night, powered by the light of a million dying suns, and finally I was.. I WAS COMPLETE. It had taken that singular rage to bring me back to a state of Situs Intacta.
"Kaminic," I muttered, "Just stay right where you are. I'll save your sorry ass. Just you wait."
Later, outside, I finished drawing the circle. The Magic Circuit only needed a sacrifice to spin on. I bent down to my knees, and coaxed the puppy to me. It took a few minutes, but eventually, it was close enough, and I shot out snake fast and grabbed it. It immediately snarled and began struggling, trying to bite me.
"I was planning on using Simaoils for this," I said, "But you, you'll work almost as well."
I tore it's head off and bathed in the shower of arterial blood and then I began to chant.
"In vivo veritas,
Invictus Verum,
Now the Chosen Time has come,
Let old debts be remembered,
From the beginning of the past,
Let the ancient promise be fulfilled,
And the Compact Realized at last."
The skies blackened, and clouds formed from the blue sky. Pillars of electricity fell to the sixteen cardinal point of the circle, and the air groaned with strain as a hle was torn in time and space, and finally, out of it. WIth abrupt suddeness, my flower power was drained, completely and utterly, leaving me temporarily nothing more than an ordinary Hedgewoman.
Great doors appeared in the center of the circle, thousands of feet high and wide. On them were carved naked men and dogs, dying of a thousand afflictions, all in a rictus of pain and terror.
They opened, a a single Legend strode out into the real. Commander John Shephard. He was half-naked, wearing tight leather pants that were entirely too short. His mane was resplendent in the afternoon sun, his massive horn defying gravity majestically. His abs were ripped, his arms bulging with inhuman strength, supporting the Machine Shotgun Special that was his pride. The gun could fire 500 rounds a second, and was xapable of reducing an elephant into a mist of blood in half that.
He neighed, and spoke, human words coming from the head of a unicorn, "Mein Furher, is it Time?"
"Yes," I said, "Call the rest of the Legio Cornu now."
"JAWOHL, MEIN FURHER!", he responded, and obeyed, letting forth a wild neigh, which faded into the blackness beyond the doors.
At first, there was nothing. Then, the ground began to shake rhythmically.
And then, Legend Strode from the land of Myth, into This World. They were my army. Elite beyond elite. Men, graced with the heads of unicorns, wearing the armor of Space Marines, armed with nuclear assault rifles.
As one, they shouted, "SIEG HEIL!"
O.B.A.M.A. wouldn't know what had hit him.
I smiled, and the sun shat itself with fear.
MOTHERFUCKING END OF CHAPTER FUCKING AWESOME.
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