FicWad

After a while, Lars, Kirk, James, and even Cliff had managed to get ready for the show. Since Lars had gotten up early, he spent the rest of the afternoon working on new songs while the others got ready. Metallica was working on a new album called "Ride the Lightning". Lars made sure to grumble at me the whole time while he was working on the songs, but I just tossed the pillow over my head and snuggled deeper under the blankets in the warm bed.

I was starting to feel pretty terrible and I knew that I was going to head straight to the bathroom as soon as the guys finished in there. My stomach felt like it was trying to twist itself into a tighter knot than before. After what seemed like a long time, Cliff, Kirk, and James joined Lars by the little table where he was working on a song called "Fade to Black."

I rolled over and attempted to sit up in bed so that I could wish the guys good luck on their show before they left. Unfortunately, this didn't go so well and I instead ended up toppling onto my back once more. Oh god, that certainly wasn't a good sign. Was I really so weak that it took me for than one attempt to sit up in bed? For the first time ever, I was starting to think that maybe I was sicker than I thought I was. Maybe I really did need to go to a hospital like the nurse had said.

Finally managing to sit up, I gave the guys a half-smile and said, "Good luck on your show tonight, guys. I'll be waiting for you here." James, who had been reading over the lyrics to "Fade to Black", suddenly looked up at my voice. He was wearing a black shirt, tight black pants, and a black belt with silver studs all over it. It made him look really sexy in my opinion. James wandered over to my bedside and placed his hand over mine as he started to speak, "Are you sure you don't want to come to the show with-"

Jame suddenly gave me an odd look and slapped his hand against my forehead. Not sure what he was up to, I tried to jerk out of his grasp as I said, "Um, what are doing? There's nothing wrong with my forehead." Regardless of my words, James continued to hold his hand against my forehead for a few more moments. I wished he would stop; his hand felt very warm. It almost felt like his hand was burning up my skin. I had been cold a moment ago, but now James' hand made me feel like I was being baked alive.

"Why are you so fucking cold?" James asked, finally withdrawing his hand from my head. His expression looked anxious and he didn't look very happy. Motioning to Kirk, James said, "Come over here a sec, Kirk. Tell me if you think Olivia is cold or not. Her body temperature is like colder than ice or something. I think something is wrong with her."

Lars, smirking over at me from where he was working on his song lyrics, said suddenly, "Thanks, James! You just gave me a good idea for another song title. What do you think about 'Trapped Under Ice'?" I scowled at Lars as he smiled pleasantly at me. Kirk quickly joined James' side and rested a light hand on my arm. I almost jumped away from his touch. It was warm, but not quite as warm as James' fingertips had been. However, I felt like a shock had run through my arm at Kirk's touch. How weird was that?

Getting kind of tired off all of this pointless attention, I looked up at the guys at said, "There's nothing wrong with me! It's just cold in here, that's all." Trying to think of a way to make them go away and leave me alone, I looked up at the clock and said quickly, "Don't you think you guys should head over to the club now? You don't want to be late."

James hesitated, but after looking at the clock, decided that I did have a good point. After giving me one last look, he said, "Olivia, are you sure there's nothing wrong? I'm sorry to say this, but you really don't look good." Sighing with irritation, I waved James away and said, "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Now please go off to your show before I get sick from you asking me if I'm okay so many times."

Shrugging his shoulders, James linked arms with Lars as the two of them headed out of the hotel room together. I was surprised when Kirk didn't move from my side. He watched the others go and turned back to me with alarm written all over his face. Wondering what he could want with me and why he wasn't following the others to the show, I raised an eyebrow at him and asked, "What are you doing? You should be following the others so you don't make them late for the show."

"I'm not making them late for the show," Kirk said a-matter-of-factly. "There's still an hour before the show starts. I'm not gonna make anyone late. However, you were lying when you told me there wasn't anything seriously wrong with you that day when we went to the hospital. It's clear there's something not right with you. It's serious and it keeps getting worse. The other guys may be oblivious to it, but I'm definitely not. I'm bringing you to a hospital as soon as this show is done, okay? It's not your choice really. I'm doing it to help save your life because honestly, you look like you're at the end of it."

I wasn't at all expecting this lecture from Kirk. Feeling upset at his words, I quickly shot back, "Kirk, I'm fine! Why can't everyone just leave me alone and work on the show? Like Lars said, I'm becoming a distraction. Why don't you all just forget I exist for a bit so you can go play your show? Also, what do you mean by it looks like I'm at the end of my life?"

"There are a lot of reasons. First of all, you're white as a ghost, you're way too cold, you're much thinner than you were when I met you, and there's this funny bump on your stomach," Kirk explained patiently. I thought about his reasons and found I couldn't deny any of them except for the last reason. I didn't have a funny bump on my stomach. Where was Kirk getting that from?

Unable to keep my thoughts to myself, I retorted, "There's no weird bump on my stomach. I dunno what you're talking about. The nurse said I wasn't pregnant, remember?" Kirk shrugged his shoulders and lifted the hem of my shirt slightly to show me that there was indeed a strange bump on one side of my stomach. That was odd. I hadn't really noticed it before, but then again, I hadn't exactly been trying to look for bumps on my stomach. Still though, how would Kirk know about the bump before I did? That was just kind of strange and the slightest bit freaky.

"How did you know about that?" I asked Kirk suspiciously, pulling my shirt back over my stomach in an attempt at modestly. At my question, Kirk blushed and looked at the floor as he murmured quietly, "Oh, I...um...saw you and James cuddling in bed the other night and I just kind of happened to see it. Sorry about that. It wasn't intentional."

"You were watching James and me in bed?" I exclaimed in shock. Seriously, the guys around here were way too nosy! First, Lars decides to stay up and listen to me and then Kirk decides to watch me in bed. What's next? Was Cliff going to make a sex tape of James and me or something? Feeling humiliated, I pulled my shirt down even farther and avoided Kirk's eye.

"Sorry!" Kirk apologized honestly. "It was just that you guys weren't being quick and it was kind of hard not to...uh...watch." Something about Kirk's honest voice made me no longer mad. I shrugged the whole situation off and returned to the real reason we were having this conversation, "I don't want to go to the hospital though. Only dying people go to the hospital."

Kirk shook his head, "That's not true. I've been to the hospital before for a number of things when I was younger. Believe me, Olivia, going to the hospital isn't really all that scary of a thing. I know you think it's something to be scared of, but really, it's not that bad. The doctors there are usually very nice and stuff. Don't worry about them."

I nodded slowly, but suddenly a horrible thought popped into my brain. What if I was pregnant after all and the nurse had been wrong? It seemed like a likely explanation for all of this. After all, it certainly explained the freaky stomach bump problem I was having. It would also explain the stomach pains and constant nausea. Looking at Kirk with alarm, I asked, "Kirk, what if the nurse was wrong? What if I really am pregnant after all? I mean, I suppose there's a possibility she was wrong, right?"

Kirk gave me a sympathetic look and nodded, "Yeah, there's always a possibility she was wrong. If you're pregnant, there's not much we can do about it." My heart immediately started beating faster and my head started spinning. I really just couldn't be pregnant. James had been so much happier once I had told him that I wasn't having his child. Our relationship had returned to normal and James returned to the carefree, unworried guy he usually was. I didn't think I could possibly tell him a second time that I had messed up and I really was pregnant. I didn't want to see a depressed and worried James all over again.

This meant that I had a decision to make. If I was really pregnant, there were basically two options for me. I could stay with James or leave him. Not wanting to cause James anymore pain, I decided that I would just have to run away during one of the shows. We had been staying in big cities so it wouldn't be hard for me to get lost in one of them. James wouldn't ever find me and then he would eventually forget about the girl he met way back in high school and he would find someone new.

Of course, doing all this would break my heart. After James, I highly doubted I could ever fall in love again. James was so perfect and he was my first real love. I didn't think I could love anyone as much as I loved him. However, I needed to do what was best for James in this situation, not me. Besides, Lars would probably through a part once he learned that I was gone for good.

I tried to smile at the thought of Lars, James, Cliff, and Kirk all continuing the band without me having to be a distraction for any of them anymore. I supposed having me gone would probably help the dynamics of the band members. Lars and James would no longer have to argue about me. Plus, James would no longer have to waste time being paranoid about whether or not I liked Kirk better than him or not. It would be a much better situation for everyone...but me.

Abruptly, the small smile on my lips faded and my lower lip started trembling. I didn't want to cry in front of Kirk, but I was really upset. I was weak too, and didn't have the strength to hold back the tears anymore. They started streaming down my cheeks silently and I tried to turn away from Kirk so he wouldn't see me cry.

However, Kirk knew exactly what I was doing even before I had turned away from him. He wrapped his arms protectively around me and patted my back really gently, "It's okay, Olivia. It'll be okay. I know it seems like so much right now and like you're not going to be able to get through this, but I swear to god that you will. You're the strongest girl I've met. You'll be fine."

I took comfort in Kirk's words and eventually found myself calming down. However, despite the fact that I was calming down emotionally, I felt much worse physically. The knot in my stomach was continuing to tighten and it seemed as if it were growing larger somehow. That was stranger. How could your stomach get larger?

Just as I was thinking all of this, the door to the hotel room burst open again. I looked up to see the other three band members stomp angrily into the room. Uh oh, something was good! Lars looked livid, Cliff's eyes were narrowed and he was muttering a string of curse words under his breath, and James looked pissed. However, when he say Kirk and me embracing, he looked way beyond pissed. As a matter of fact, he looked angry enough to kill someone! Something bad was happening...but what was it?