FicWad

Before I could complain or insist on going to find James, a few people dressed in white from head to toe hurried into the room with a stretcher. They motioned for Kirk to put me onto the stretcher. Gently and carefully, Kirk laid me onto my back and spoke in a frantic voice with one of the people in white. I immediately decided that I didn't like lying on my back. It was an uncomfortable position and I found myself choking again. Despite my pain, I tried to listen in on what Kirk was telling the woman in white.

My stretcher was carried down the hallway and into an examining room while Lars, Kirk, and Cliff followed behind it. On the way there, I could hear Kirk explaining my symptoms to the woman. She nodded and made a few notes on a tablet before we entered a room that had hardly anything in it except for an examining table and some sparkling white equipment. I was dumped down onto the table and the people in doctors dressed in white immediately started poking and prodding me all over. They lifted up my shirt, examined my stomach, looked in my mouth, checked out my breathing, and got my heartbeat.

As they examined me, I found that I needed to have something confirmed. Using up the little tiny bit of air I had left, I asked faintly, "Um...am I pregnant?" It might have seemed to be a pointless question, but I still was afraid of being pregnant. The doctor closest to me looked down into my wide eyes and shook his head, "No, you're not pregnant."

I found myself relaxing with the relief and I attempted smiling across the room at Kirk. Kirk, who had been watching the doctors examine me, tried to smile back at me, but his smile came out more as a grimace. After a few more moments of poking and prodding, one of the doctors turned to Kirk and said loudly enough for me to hear, "Olivia has a tumor next to her stomach. That's why she's been unable to keep any of her food down. The tumor has been growing and it's taken up quite a bit of space inside of her. Olivia is quite weak at this point since she probably hasn't really digested any food for weeks. You let this tumor go way too far. You should've caught it earlier and brought her to us then. Maybe we could've really helped her then."

I wanted to tell them that it wasn't Kirk's fault that we hadn't caught the tumor earlier. After all, it was definitely my fault. I was the one who had told everyone that I was fine and that they didn't need to worry despite the nurse's warning to go to the hospital. However, Kirk didn't seem to be worried about that right now. Instead, he looked up at the doctor with despair and said, "What do you mean by 'maybe we could've really helped her then'? You're going to help her now, right? You've gotta be able to get rid of that tumor somehow or another. I mean, that's what doctors are for!"

The doctor who had been talking to Kirk looked over at me and then turned back to Kirk grimly, "We can attempt surgery on her to get rid of the tumor. However, it'll definitely be a risky procedure. She's barely keeping her consciousness right now. The surgery could very well kill her. Sadly, we don't really have any other alternatives at this point unless you just want to let her suffer..."

"No, no," Kirk exclaimed quickly. "Definitely try the surgery on her. It's better than nothing. How long until you can start the surgery?" The doctor motioned to the other people dressed in white and gave them a few commands. They scattered from the room instantly. Turning back to Kirk, the doctor said, "We can start in about ten minutes. Until then, try to keep her conscious." With that said, the doctor turned and left the room. I was now left alone with Kirk, Cliff, and Lars.

"So I'm getting surgery done," I stated the obvious, not really sure what else to say. Kirk nodded uncomfortably and avoided my eye as he replied, "Yeah, I guess you are. Um, did you hear what the doctor told me just now?" I nodded so Kirk wouldn't have to repeat it all over again. I knew that there was a chance I could die. In honestly, I was okay with that. I had gotten out of life what I wanted for the most part. I wasn't going to die the scared, abused girl I had been when I was with Ray. If I died, I was going to die a happy girl who had experienced love and life. However, I couldn't help but feel guilty that I hadn't had a chance to say anything to James before coming here. I badly wanted him by my side right now. Sadly, my last image of him was when he had given me a dirty look earlier this morning when he had seen me hugging Kirk. I really wanted to talk to him and clear up this mess if I really was going to die. I mean, from what the doctors were saying, I didn't have that great of a chance of surviving.

"Hey Kirk?" I asked weakly, trying to sit up on the examining table. Kirk hurriedly rushed to my side and began to help me sit up, "Yes?" With Kirk's help, I managed to form a sitting position. It was slightly more comfortable than lying prone on my back, but I still found that my breathing was labored and that it felt like my insides were coiling up and squeezing the life out of me. Going on with my question, I added, "Can you call James somehow? I really wanna talk to him."

Kirk scratched his head for a moment in thought before he frowned and shook his head, "I don't have my phone with me. Maybe I could ask one of the doctors if I could use their phone when they come back though." My heart fell at Kirk's words. By the time the doctors came back, I would probably have to go straight into the surgery and I wouldn't get my chance to talk to James.

Surprisingly enough, it was Lars who spoke next. Gesturing to Cliff who was standing by the doorway, Lars said, "You could just use Cliff's phone. I'm pretty sure he has one. I dunno if he knows James' phone number though. Also, I don't know if you're allowed to use cell phones in here. But anyways, it's your call on whether or not you want to try to contact James."

Seeing the hopeful look in my eyes, Kirk's face softened and he stroked one of my hands lightly as he said, "Of course we'll try it. I'll go get the phone from Cliff. Be right back." Kirk turned on his heel and quickly wandered over to where Cliff was standing stoically against the doorway. While I watched them, I felt another question pop into my head. It was very odd that James had been the only one to stay behind at the club tonight. Was it possible that he was taking revenge from my hug with Kirk? Something deep inside me told me that if he was indeed taking revenge, I probably didn't want to know what form that revenge would be in. However, deep in my soul, I knew that James could easily be flirting with a stripper right now or there could even be a possibility that he could be taking off her skimpy little dress right now and could be running his fingers along the curve of her breast and down her sides until he reached her thigh and split her legs and...

No, I couldn't go there right now. It was hard enough just being apart from James in my moments of misery. The last thing I needed right now was to torture myself with thoughts of James and another girl sleeping together. Regardless, I decided to ask Lars about my suspicions anyways. Finding it slightly difficult to talk to Lars regardless of the situation, I turned to him reluctantly and asked, "Um, Lars? Why was James still getting drunk at the club tonight while the rest of you came back up to the hotel?"

Lars automatically opened his mouth to speak, but closed it just as quickly. The look he was giving me now was not the usual look of hatred and annoyance that he usually gave me. No, the look he was giving me now was one of sadness and maybe even sympathy? That was strange for Lars, but it was there in his eyes nonetheless. Finally, Lars just ended up avoiding my question by shrugging his shoulders stiffly and looking down at his feet like he was suddenly very interested in the tile floor.

I could tell from his reaction that Lars did know something about why James was hanging out in the club by himself. Lars wasn't exactly a good liar, nor did he hide his emotions well. Determined to get my answer out of Lars before Kirk and Cliff came back with the cell phone, I said, "I know you know why he's there. Come on, you can tell me. I'm not that weak! Besides, don't you think I deserve to know what James was doing in the club in case I never see him again?"

Lars bit his lip at my words and eventually spoke, "James was really upset tonight. The whole scenario with the stolen band equipment totally pissed him off. That stuff that was stolen was really expensive shit and now we're going to have to pay for replacements all over again. But anyways, that factor and a few other things made James upset and want to get wasted I guess."

That figured. James' cure for everything was getting drunk. Still though, I had more investigating in this situation. Going on, I added, "By the 'few other things', you mean that hug with me and Kirk earlier, right?" Lars looked startled that I knew about that, but he slowly nodded his head to confirm my worst thoughts. To be honest, I didn't know why I was so concerned about James right now. Maybe I liked thinking about him because it distracted me from the perpetual agonizing pain in my stomach.

"How did you know about the fact that James was upset about Kirk and me?" I pressed onwards, not yet down with my inquisition. Poor Lars was probably getting fed up with me, but I figured he owed me the answers to my questions after being such a bastard to me when we had first met. Lars must've been thinking the same thing because he went ahead and answered my question without a single complaint, "I know he was pissed off because he told me about it while we were warming up."

"Oh really?" this was new news to me. I didn't know that James was telling other people about our relationship problems. With my curiosity peaked, I leaned close to Lars and said, "What did he say to you?" Lars' immediate reaction was to back away from me. It was like I made him really uncomfortable by being close to him. When Lars didn't speak, I probed him on, "Aw, come on, Lars. I have a right to know, don't you think? Tell me what he said about me." I tried to make my voice come out in an in-control and demanding manner, but it ended up sounding more like I was pleading.

I guess Lars might've felt sorry for me because he finally said, "Um, I don't think I should tell you. He wasn't being all that nice." Wishing Lars would just spit it out before Kirk and Cliff came back, I grabbed hold of his wrist and said, "Please? I really need to know." Lars hesitated a final moment and then finally gave in.

"Okay, fine, I'll tell you," Lars sighed. "But he was really pissed off about other things, so don't take this personally. Anyways, so he came up to me and said, 'I wish Olivia would stop messing around with Kirk all the time. Whenever I see her, she's always with him all the fucking time. She gives me bullshit and says that they're only friends, but it's so fuckin' obvious they're more than friends. She gives me shit about me cheating and then goes and cheats herself. Before I know it, I'm gonna find those motherfuckers in bed together. Maybe they've already slept together for all I know. Ever since Olivia thought I got her pregnant, she's lost interest and is all over Kirk. I'm just really sick of this."