Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Original Sin
I didn't sleep for very long unfortunately. When I woke next, it was from a restless and disturbed slumber. Looking around, I saw I was still crouched on the bathroom floor and was looking pretty miserable. The pain had subsided a bit, but I still felt like I was going to explode from too much food or that I was going to get violently sick at any moment.
Anger started flooding over me as I lay on the floor mulling over my situation. This was all Bella's fault. If she hadn't told my mom that I hadn't eaten breakfast or lunch yesterday, my mom certainly wouldn't have made me eat so much. It was also Bella's fault that Tom was here. Everything was ten times more complicated with him around.
I hated the way my mom acted like Tom was royalty or something. I didn't get the big deal about Tom to be honest. Okay, yeah, he was certainly powerful. There was no denying that. He was probably the most powerful student in all of Hogwarts. Nonetheless, he wasn't exactly a fun person to hang around. He was mirthless, cruel, and a murderer.
Frowning, I suddenly had the impulse to go take my anger out on someone or something. Not having anyone better to take it out on, I decided that Bella would be my unfortunate quarry. Stifling a little moan, I struggled to my feet and took a few slow, sleepy steps towards the door to the bathroom. I knew better than to look in the mirror this time. I did learn from my mistakes. Well, at least I tried to anyways. Some mistakes I couldn't help but make over and over again.
I popped the bathroom door open with a very loud creak. Biting my lip, I froze in the doorway to see if the creak had woken anyone up. Luckily, there was no sound anywhere in the house except for that of my anxious breathing. Trying to calm myself, I decided to go back to my room and put a robe on before I went to see Bella.
I was feeling pretty embarrassed about my body lately. It didn't help that I had just eaten a mountain of food for dinner. I wanted to throw it all up and get it out of me somehow. The whole effort of the sticking-your-fingers-down-your-throat thing was just so not worth it though. Therefore, I was going to scream and cuss at Bella until I had gotten all the pain out. Yeah, I know, bad idea. You don't think very straight though when it's three in the morning. Well, at least I don't anyways.
I grabbed a fluffy white robe from my closet once I had reached my room and wrapped it around my body. I was instantly hot again. Ugh, my temperature kept going all over the place. I wish it would just stay stable, but no, I had to keep getting feverish from these stupid panic attacks. How come I was the only one who ever got panic attacks? How come Bella and Tom never got them?
Feeling all pissed off, I stomped across the floor and back out into the hallway. I didn't make an effort to be quiet anymore. Why bother? I mean, I was going to wake Bella up in a few seconds anyways. And if I woke my mom up, well, I had to admit that I probably wouldn't feel all that sorry about it. The same went for Tom.
I reached Bella's room and was about to open the door when I suddenly paused. Strange noises were coning from inside the doorway. I couldn't identify them. They sounded like moans and groans. That was just plain weird though. Was Bella having a bad dream or something? I figured that had to be the only solution. I mean, it was either that or she was really sick or something.
I paused with my hand extended towards the doorknob in midair. I wasn't sure if I dared to go in or not. I still wanted someone to yell at, but maybe yelling at your sister right after she's had a nightmare or when she's sick is probably not a good idea. Nonetheless, don't ask me why, but for some reason I felt a compulsion to open the door. That was certainly a mistake.
My fingers reached out and clasped the cool brass off the door handle. Silently, I turned the knob and the door swung open without a sound. Loud moaning and whimpering noises met my ears now and I was shocked to see that Bella was not talking in her sleep. Oh no, Bella had stripped down and was riding a figure beneath her. Her brown curls fluttered out behind her and I could see that her cheeks were slightly flushed as she came down on the figure again and again.
Even though I was half asleep, it didn't take me too long to figure out who the figure was. It was Tom, of course. Who else would Bella have sex with? Still stuck frozen in the doorway, it finally occurred to me that I needed to get out of her right this second. If Tom looked up and saw me in here, I would so be dead. There would be absolutely no mercy for me.
Forcing my heavy feet to move, I silently backed out of the doorway and away from the moans of Bella and Tom. I shut the door just as quietly as I had opened it and then turned and ran down the hall. All I knew was that I had to run away from that image that was now embedded in my head. I mean, ew! It's sick to see your own sister having sex with someone. It's even more sick when your sister has sex with a violent and cruel murderer like Tom. Yeah, that's just disgusting.
Once I reached the safety of my room, I slammed the door shut and locked it tightly. I supposed that it probably didn't do much good as the Alohomora spell automatically unlocked locked doors, but still. It made me feel just a tiny bit safer. I shouldn't really feel scared though. I mean, Tom never needed to know I had seen him having sex with Bellatrix. And to be honest, I hadn't really seen him at all since he was positioned under her. I supposed I should be grateful for that.
I went over and sat in my bed. I tried to fall asleep, but the thoughts and images were still whirling around inside there and I just couldn't make myself calm down enough to fall asleep. Something was bothering me though. I was wondering just why Tom had decided to have sex with Bella. I knew Bella and Tom were close, but I thought they were close in a master/servant relationship in which Tom was obviously the master and Bella was the eager to please servant.
Was Tom messing with Bella? I supposed that was a likely possibility. Tom would definitely mess with whoever he wanted to mess with and not give a damn about the consequences. In my opinion, the most likely explanation was that Tom was just looking to Bella for a one night stand. Tom didn't seem like the kind of guy who would ever get into a relationship. Still though, wouldn't things change between him and Bella after having sex? I had always thought that sex would change a relationship forever, but maybe I was wrong.
I was just about drifting off to sleep for the second time that night when a sudden thought occurred to me. Tom was a fucking hypocrite. So he went around telling everyone that relationships suck and that we shouldn't have sex. Then what does he do? He goes right ahead and has sex with my very own sister! Seriously, what the hell? Something was just not right with that.
I didn't see wht in the world he thought he could keep Lucius and me from having sex if he had done it himself. That was just so unfair. You know, I thought maybe I should even tell him this tomorrow. I was seriously pissed at Tom for being so hypocritical. If he was allowed to have sex, then we should all be allowed to do it.
Going to bed still feeling awful from the lump of undigested food in my stomach and totally pissed at Tom for the whole sex ordeal, I flipped over onto my stomach and closed my eyes. The only thought on my mind was that I was going to talk to Tom tomorrow and sort this out. I would make love with Lucius whether Tom liked it or not.
~ ~ ~ ~
The next morning, I still felt like shit. It took a hell of a lot of effort to get me up and out of bed. My legs felt weak and shaky beneath me. My stomach was still churning around inside of me. And of course, my temper was flying. I was pissed at everything and everyone. I was pissed at mother for making me eat so much, Bella for not backing me up, Andromeda for not supporting me, and Tom for being such a hypocrite. I was even mad at myself for being so ugly and goddamn stupid.
Supposing that it was a waste of time to just sit around in bed all day, I forced myself to get up. My feet slapped loudly against the cold tile floor as I crossed the room to pick out something to wear for today. Looking through my drawers, I noticed that all my clothes seemed to be for fancy occasions. That was rather annoying. You would think I could have at least a few pairs of casual and comfortable clothes. I mean, it already really sucks that I have to wear robes at Hogwarts all the time. Seriously, at least give me a break at my own home for god's sake!
After rifling through all the drawers, I finally found some clothes that would work. They weren't great, but they would have to do. After slipping on a lacy black thong and matching bra, I slipped on a lacy tank top before sliding a cardigan over it. I did a few of the buttons, but left most of them unbuttoned. After that, I slipped on a pair of black pants and took a look in the mirror.
Oops, I wasn't suppose to be looking in mirrors. Almost as soon as I looked in the mirror, I looked away. I looked so tired and ugly. I ripped my brush through my hair rather angrily and then decided to go downstairs. I plodded down the stairs slowly and reached the kitchen. Bella and Tom were sitting at the table and were laughing at something over breakfast.
Normally, I would've done everything to avoid them. Turning tail and running was usually the best thing when Tom was around. It took all my strength to make myself take the last few steps towards the kitchen table and sit down next to Bella. Bella looked over at me with a shocked expression on her face. Maybe she expected me to be pissed after the whole Tom ordeal. Well, guess what? I was pretty pissed. However, I was more pissed at Tom than her right now. Tom would suffer first. Bellatrix could wait.
"Hey Cissy," Bella greeted, apparently going to try to be nice. "How are you today?" It took a lot of effort not to tell her exactly how I was feeling today. Instead, I decided to play the game as well. Two can play, right? Trying to smile, I replied, "I'm alright. How about you? Did you get a good night's sleep last night?"
I couldn't help but add that last statement. I watched Bella's and Tom's expressions carefully as my words sank in. Smiling as if nothing out of the normal had happened last night, Bella replied, "Yeah, not too bad. It's always nice to sleep in your own bed, you know? Those Hogwarts ones are rock hard. Did they get them from Salvation Army or something?"
I rolled my eyes and didn't reply. I had much bigger things to worry about than how hard a bed was. As Tom and Bella continued to chatter, I thought about how exactly I was going to get Tom's attention and get him alone. I obviously wasn't going to ask him about the sex thing with Bella around. That would just be embarrassing and it would cause complications.
Talking about sex was always embarrassing to some extent. I didn't like talking about it, but I felt a little bit less embarrassed talking about it with Tom since he had just had sex with Bella the night before. And after all, it wasn't like Tom was related to me or anything. He was only a half-blood. It was strange really how a half-blood would want to kill all the mudbloods. Tom's mind worked in strange ways though, so I decided not to contemplate that for too long.
Finally, I got my nerve up and finally did what had to be done. I cleared my throat and looked directly at Tom. Tom and Bella immediately stopped speaking and both looked towards me with surprise. It was almost as if they had forgotten I was in the room or something. Meeting Tom's eyes, I said in a quiet voice, "Can I speak to you for a moment? Alone?"
Anger started flooding over me as I lay on the floor mulling over my situation. This was all Bella's fault. If she hadn't told my mom that I hadn't eaten breakfast or lunch yesterday, my mom certainly wouldn't have made me eat so much. It was also Bella's fault that Tom was here. Everything was ten times more complicated with him around.
I hated the way my mom acted like Tom was royalty or something. I didn't get the big deal about Tom to be honest. Okay, yeah, he was certainly powerful. There was no denying that. He was probably the most powerful student in all of Hogwarts. Nonetheless, he wasn't exactly a fun person to hang around. He was mirthless, cruel, and a murderer.
Frowning, I suddenly had the impulse to go take my anger out on someone or something. Not having anyone better to take it out on, I decided that Bella would be my unfortunate quarry. Stifling a little moan, I struggled to my feet and took a few slow, sleepy steps towards the door to the bathroom. I knew better than to look in the mirror this time. I did learn from my mistakes. Well, at least I tried to anyways. Some mistakes I couldn't help but make over and over again.
I popped the bathroom door open with a very loud creak. Biting my lip, I froze in the doorway to see if the creak had woken anyone up. Luckily, there was no sound anywhere in the house except for that of my anxious breathing. Trying to calm myself, I decided to go back to my room and put a robe on before I went to see Bella.
I was feeling pretty embarrassed about my body lately. It didn't help that I had just eaten a mountain of food for dinner. I wanted to throw it all up and get it out of me somehow. The whole effort of the sticking-your-fingers-down-your-throat thing was just so not worth it though. Therefore, I was going to scream and cuss at Bella until I had gotten all the pain out. Yeah, I know, bad idea. You don't think very straight though when it's three in the morning. Well, at least I don't anyways.
I grabbed a fluffy white robe from my closet once I had reached my room and wrapped it around my body. I was instantly hot again. Ugh, my temperature kept going all over the place. I wish it would just stay stable, but no, I had to keep getting feverish from these stupid panic attacks. How come I was the only one who ever got panic attacks? How come Bella and Tom never got them?
Feeling all pissed off, I stomped across the floor and back out into the hallway. I didn't make an effort to be quiet anymore. Why bother? I mean, I was going to wake Bella up in a few seconds anyways. And if I woke my mom up, well, I had to admit that I probably wouldn't feel all that sorry about it. The same went for Tom.
I reached Bella's room and was about to open the door when I suddenly paused. Strange noises were coning from inside the doorway. I couldn't identify them. They sounded like moans and groans. That was just plain weird though. Was Bella having a bad dream or something? I figured that had to be the only solution. I mean, it was either that or she was really sick or something.
I paused with my hand extended towards the doorknob in midair. I wasn't sure if I dared to go in or not. I still wanted someone to yell at, but maybe yelling at your sister right after she's had a nightmare or when she's sick is probably not a good idea. Nonetheless, don't ask me why, but for some reason I felt a compulsion to open the door. That was certainly a mistake.
My fingers reached out and clasped the cool brass off the door handle. Silently, I turned the knob and the door swung open without a sound. Loud moaning and whimpering noises met my ears now and I was shocked to see that Bella was not talking in her sleep. Oh no, Bella had stripped down and was riding a figure beneath her. Her brown curls fluttered out behind her and I could see that her cheeks were slightly flushed as she came down on the figure again and again.
Even though I was half asleep, it didn't take me too long to figure out who the figure was. It was Tom, of course. Who else would Bella have sex with? Still stuck frozen in the doorway, it finally occurred to me that I needed to get out of her right this second. If Tom looked up and saw me in here, I would so be dead. There would be absolutely no mercy for me.
Forcing my heavy feet to move, I silently backed out of the doorway and away from the moans of Bella and Tom. I shut the door just as quietly as I had opened it and then turned and ran down the hall. All I knew was that I had to run away from that image that was now embedded in my head. I mean, ew! It's sick to see your own sister having sex with someone. It's even more sick when your sister has sex with a violent and cruel murderer like Tom. Yeah, that's just disgusting.
Once I reached the safety of my room, I slammed the door shut and locked it tightly. I supposed that it probably didn't do much good as the Alohomora spell automatically unlocked locked doors, but still. It made me feel just a tiny bit safer. I shouldn't really feel scared though. I mean, Tom never needed to know I had seen him having sex with Bellatrix. And to be honest, I hadn't really seen him at all since he was positioned under her. I supposed I should be grateful for that.
I went over and sat in my bed. I tried to fall asleep, but the thoughts and images were still whirling around inside there and I just couldn't make myself calm down enough to fall asleep. Something was bothering me though. I was wondering just why Tom had decided to have sex with Bella. I knew Bella and Tom were close, but I thought they were close in a master/servant relationship in which Tom was obviously the master and Bella was the eager to please servant.
Was Tom messing with Bella? I supposed that was a likely possibility. Tom would definitely mess with whoever he wanted to mess with and not give a damn about the consequences. In my opinion, the most likely explanation was that Tom was just looking to Bella for a one night stand. Tom didn't seem like the kind of guy who would ever get into a relationship. Still though, wouldn't things change between him and Bella after having sex? I had always thought that sex would change a relationship forever, but maybe I was wrong.
I was just about drifting off to sleep for the second time that night when a sudden thought occurred to me. Tom was a fucking hypocrite. So he went around telling everyone that relationships suck and that we shouldn't have sex. Then what does he do? He goes right ahead and has sex with my very own sister! Seriously, what the hell? Something was just not right with that.
I didn't see wht in the world he thought he could keep Lucius and me from having sex if he had done it himself. That was just so unfair. You know, I thought maybe I should even tell him this tomorrow. I was seriously pissed at Tom for being so hypocritical. If he was allowed to have sex, then we should all be allowed to do it.
Going to bed still feeling awful from the lump of undigested food in my stomach and totally pissed at Tom for the whole sex ordeal, I flipped over onto my stomach and closed my eyes. The only thought on my mind was that I was going to talk to Tom tomorrow and sort this out. I would make love with Lucius whether Tom liked it or not.
~ ~ ~ ~
The next morning, I still felt like shit. It took a hell of a lot of effort to get me up and out of bed. My legs felt weak and shaky beneath me. My stomach was still churning around inside of me. And of course, my temper was flying. I was pissed at everything and everyone. I was pissed at mother for making me eat so much, Bella for not backing me up, Andromeda for not supporting me, and Tom for being such a hypocrite. I was even mad at myself for being so ugly and goddamn stupid.
Supposing that it was a waste of time to just sit around in bed all day, I forced myself to get up. My feet slapped loudly against the cold tile floor as I crossed the room to pick out something to wear for today. Looking through my drawers, I noticed that all my clothes seemed to be for fancy occasions. That was rather annoying. You would think I could have at least a few pairs of casual and comfortable clothes. I mean, it already really sucks that I have to wear robes at Hogwarts all the time. Seriously, at least give me a break at my own home for god's sake!
After rifling through all the drawers, I finally found some clothes that would work. They weren't great, but they would have to do. After slipping on a lacy black thong and matching bra, I slipped on a lacy tank top before sliding a cardigan over it. I did a few of the buttons, but left most of them unbuttoned. After that, I slipped on a pair of black pants and took a look in the mirror.
Oops, I wasn't suppose to be looking in mirrors. Almost as soon as I looked in the mirror, I looked away. I looked so tired and ugly. I ripped my brush through my hair rather angrily and then decided to go downstairs. I plodded down the stairs slowly and reached the kitchen. Bella and Tom were sitting at the table and were laughing at something over breakfast.
Normally, I would've done everything to avoid them. Turning tail and running was usually the best thing when Tom was around. It took all my strength to make myself take the last few steps towards the kitchen table and sit down next to Bella. Bella looked over at me with a shocked expression on her face. Maybe she expected me to be pissed after the whole Tom ordeal. Well, guess what? I was pretty pissed. However, I was more pissed at Tom than her right now. Tom would suffer first. Bellatrix could wait.
"Hey Cissy," Bella greeted, apparently going to try to be nice. "How are you today?" It took a lot of effort not to tell her exactly how I was feeling today. Instead, I decided to play the game as well. Two can play, right? Trying to smile, I replied, "I'm alright. How about you? Did you get a good night's sleep last night?"
I couldn't help but add that last statement. I watched Bella's and Tom's expressions carefully as my words sank in. Smiling as if nothing out of the normal had happened last night, Bella replied, "Yeah, not too bad. It's always nice to sleep in your own bed, you know? Those Hogwarts ones are rock hard. Did they get them from Salvation Army or something?"
I rolled my eyes and didn't reply. I had much bigger things to worry about than how hard a bed was. As Tom and Bella continued to chatter, I thought about how exactly I was going to get Tom's attention and get him alone. I obviously wasn't going to ask him about the sex thing with Bella around. That would just be embarrassing and it would cause complications.
Talking about sex was always embarrassing to some extent. I didn't like talking about it, but I felt a little bit less embarrassed talking about it with Tom since he had just had sex with Bella the night before. And after all, it wasn't like Tom was related to me or anything. He was only a half-blood. It was strange really how a half-blood would want to kill all the mudbloods. Tom's mind worked in strange ways though, so I decided not to contemplate that for too long.
Finally, I got my nerve up and finally did what had to be done. I cleared my throat and looked directly at Tom. Tom and Bella immediately stopped speaking and both looked towards me with surprise. It was almost as if they had forgotten I was in the room or something. Meeting Tom's eyes, I said in a quiet voice, "Can I speak to you for a moment? Alone?"
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