(#) Richardc269 2010-11-30Story is "okay". It's average at best right now, but you also need to fix all these grammar mistakes in the story, as well as some other things.
Author's responseHmm, my beta didn't indicate any problems. I'll go through it again for the grammer mistakes. The extra wide spaces between paragraphs I have no idea how to fix at this point.
(#) ImNotRomeo 2010-11-30Those wide spaces are an error in the HTML code that you can't really do anything about at the moment.
As for your fic, it's just as Richard said, mostly average with room for improvement. The errors aren't very large or noticeable, unless you're a grammar nazi, which I am. It's an interesting point to start diverging from canon and I look forward to seeing whether or not you can successfully do it.
I'll write a real review for you in a few chapters after you have a little more to read.
Author's responseThanks for the info. This was originally my NaNo project for the year, but health reasons kept me from getting too far into it. At the moment, I'm working on Chapter 3 and looking over Chapter 2 for errors. Chapter 3 is where the crossovers start.
- Well, I've not seem too many stories that diverge at this point and I'll be quite interested in seeing where you take this. As this is the first chapter, I can't say much, but you have avoided the worst of the typos I've seen in other stories.
Author's responseThanks for the review! Yeah, the first chapter always seems to be a bit slow in most fics. As for the typos, I read a lot of fics myself and I've seen all of the homonym and synonym errors I want to. I definitely try to avoid those LOL.
(#) falseproffitt 2010-12-05Hey fuc* what everybody else thinks,
it is a good story with a solid begining.
if you keep receiving complaints addvertise for a betta reader to fix grammer placement and soforth
Author's responseThanks for the review, fp. Glad you liked it. I've got someone looking over Chapter 2 (well, when she finishes another beta first) lol.
- Don't mind what others say. I like it. I am a 46 year old connoseiur of fanfiction, and have written some of my own. It's not that easy to go from a plot bunny to writing it out. And yes I know that I spelled connoseiur wrong. Twice. I don't know how to spell it.
Author's responseThanks for the encouragement! And I don't know how to spell it either LOL.
(#) jabarber69 2010-12-18Hey that was pretty good, although it has taken me awhile before I would read it from the title I gathered (wrongly it turns out) that I figured it was some aritifact from sg1 universe and it was the soul of anubis that was taking him over!!! glad I was wrong on that one....
Author's responseYeah, I should probably edit the summary to specify the crossover, I had forgotten about that.
Glad you enjoyed the story!
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