Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Stay Alive Tonight
Ryan sat there, shivering slightly in the middle of the circle. Jon cleared his throat, before saying, in such a soft voice it was nearly a whisper, "Ry? You okay?" Ryan didn't say anything, but looked up at Jon, tears welling up in his eyes. He blinked, trying to clear them away, but it didn't work. One silently slipped down his cheek, followed shortly by another. And another. And another.
Just then Brendon came up carrying the tray of coffee, and put it down in the middle of the group. To everyone's surprise, Ryan picked up a cup, a sipped at it lightly. Brendon exchanged smiles with Spencer. This was going somewhere. And somewhere good, it seemed. Brendon took his coffee, and sat down behind Ryan, on the bed.
"Ryan?" Spencer tried, hoping for some response. He got one. Ryan raised his eyes to lock onto Spencer's. "You're probably thinking that we're going to send you off to a crazy ward or a shrink or some shit like that. Correct me if I'm wrong." He hoped that he had taken the right route. It wouldn't help for Ryan to keep thinking that they were going to send him away at a time that he needed his friends the most. "Are you?" Ryan asked, voice quavering more than a little.
"That all depends on you." Jon finished. "W-What do you mean?" Ryan asked, starting to cry hard. Brendon reached forward, and squeezed Ryan's shoulder comfortingly. "Well, if you cut too deep, or one of those damn things get infected, yeah, we are going to have to take you to a hospital. If you try to kill yourself, same as we said. If you keep cutting, we're going to have to take you there, otherwise you might get sent there involuntarily. Trust me, not something your going to want happening." Spencer said.
"So you're pretty much going to send me away for anything, is that it?" Ryan asked, anger seeping into his voice. They were using his own health against him, as well as anything he said or did. "No, no, not anything. Just if you try to kill yourself, and have to get taken to the E.R. and they keep you there. Only other way we might take you anywhere is if anything goes too deep or gets infected, but we're only trying to save you, not send you away. And as far as the stop cutting or we take you to the hospital, I know it's not entirely fair." Spencer said.
"No shit, Sherlock." Ryan practically snarled at his friend. Yes, he did have a vicious side, no matter how sweet he seemed. When put into a precarious position, the fight or flight instinct kicks in. And since he couldn't do any flight, there was only fight left. "Hey, no need to get aggressive with him." Jon said, trying to break up the fight before it even started. "Oh yeah? Why's that?" Ryan said, rounding to Jon instead.
"As I said Ryan, I know it's not fair, because that's pretty much the only thing that keeps you going some days." Spencer said, slightly ruffled by the former's anger. This cause Ryan to freeze up, not expecting this kind of response from Spencer. "Y-You do?" He asked, scared that he might have thrown away his only chance to stay out of the crazy wards and off the pills. "Yep. And I know that you're scared, so that's why you're arguing with us. We don't blame you for it. Everyone loses their control every once in a while." Spencer said. Jon, Brendon, and Jeffree all nodded when Spencer said this. After all, it was true, and they wanted Ryan to know this.
None of them were angry with Ryan for his temper. They were actually expecting him to get defensive. In fact, they'd expected him to get extremely defensive, even aggressive, maybe even physical. But he didn't. Which was a welcome relief. Now all they needed was for him not to do anything stupid after this conversation was over. "Spence?" Ryan whispered.
"Yeah?" Spencer asked, looking at Ryan, wondering what he would say. "What were you saying about knowing it wasn't fair?" Ryan asked, gulping loudly, frightened. "Oh, yeah. As I was saying, I know it isn't completely fair to you to have to stop cutting, especially cold turkey. Judging by your arms, and probably the rest of your body, you seem to be cutting nearly a dozen times every day. That's why we're going to help you by offering this. We'll give you a month, and if you haven't gotten your cutting down to less than a half-dozen a day, we'll have to take some other action." Spencer said, trying to keep all threats out of his voice.
"Okay." Ryan said. "Oh yeah, and you might be subject to strip searches every once in a while." Jeffree tossed in. This lead Ryan to squeak, and ask, "What the hell?" Everyone excluding Ryan laughed a little, before Brendon said, "To make sure that nothing's getting infected or anything in the next few months." Ryan looked at all of them like they were crazy, before asking, "How long is that going to last?"
"Well, depends how long you keep cutting for. It's going to be at least 4 months, till you're down to less than 6 per day, then the next month, 3, then the next month, 1, then the month after that, not at all, but just to make sure you don't go back to it. " Spencer said with an apologetic shrug. "So you're saying if I somehow manage to get it to 1 or less times per day, in one month, then you'll only have to do that for two months?" Ryan asked hopefully. "Yeppers. Now follow me." Spencer said, getting up and walking out of the room. Ryan followed him wordlessly. Behind him, the three left behind had huge grins across their faces.
WAYYYY overdue. Short, I know, but I really wanted to get this update out there for you guys to enjoy. Proof I didn't die, and proof this isn't a dead fic either. Rate & Review for another chapter. XO
Just then Brendon came up carrying the tray of coffee, and put it down in the middle of the group. To everyone's surprise, Ryan picked up a cup, a sipped at it lightly. Brendon exchanged smiles with Spencer. This was going somewhere. And somewhere good, it seemed. Brendon took his coffee, and sat down behind Ryan, on the bed.
"Ryan?" Spencer tried, hoping for some response. He got one. Ryan raised his eyes to lock onto Spencer's. "You're probably thinking that we're going to send you off to a crazy ward or a shrink or some shit like that. Correct me if I'm wrong." He hoped that he had taken the right route. It wouldn't help for Ryan to keep thinking that they were going to send him away at a time that he needed his friends the most. "Are you?" Ryan asked, voice quavering more than a little.
"That all depends on you." Jon finished. "W-What do you mean?" Ryan asked, starting to cry hard. Brendon reached forward, and squeezed Ryan's shoulder comfortingly. "Well, if you cut too deep, or one of those damn things get infected, yeah, we are going to have to take you to a hospital. If you try to kill yourself, same as we said. If you keep cutting, we're going to have to take you there, otherwise you might get sent there involuntarily. Trust me, not something your going to want happening." Spencer said.
"So you're pretty much going to send me away for anything, is that it?" Ryan asked, anger seeping into his voice. They were using his own health against him, as well as anything he said or did. "No, no, not anything. Just if you try to kill yourself, and have to get taken to the E.R. and they keep you there. Only other way we might take you anywhere is if anything goes too deep or gets infected, but we're only trying to save you, not send you away. And as far as the stop cutting or we take you to the hospital, I know it's not entirely fair." Spencer said.
"No shit, Sherlock." Ryan practically snarled at his friend. Yes, he did have a vicious side, no matter how sweet he seemed. When put into a precarious position, the fight or flight instinct kicks in. And since he couldn't do any flight, there was only fight left. "Hey, no need to get aggressive with him." Jon said, trying to break up the fight before it even started. "Oh yeah? Why's that?" Ryan said, rounding to Jon instead.
"As I said Ryan, I know it's not fair, because that's pretty much the only thing that keeps you going some days." Spencer said, slightly ruffled by the former's anger. This cause Ryan to freeze up, not expecting this kind of response from Spencer. "Y-You do?" He asked, scared that he might have thrown away his only chance to stay out of the crazy wards and off the pills. "Yep. And I know that you're scared, so that's why you're arguing with us. We don't blame you for it. Everyone loses their control every once in a while." Spencer said. Jon, Brendon, and Jeffree all nodded when Spencer said this. After all, it was true, and they wanted Ryan to know this.
None of them were angry with Ryan for his temper. They were actually expecting him to get defensive. In fact, they'd expected him to get extremely defensive, even aggressive, maybe even physical. But he didn't. Which was a welcome relief. Now all they needed was for him not to do anything stupid after this conversation was over. "Spence?" Ryan whispered.
"Yeah?" Spencer asked, looking at Ryan, wondering what he would say. "What were you saying about knowing it wasn't fair?" Ryan asked, gulping loudly, frightened. "Oh, yeah. As I was saying, I know it isn't completely fair to you to have to stop cutting, especially cold turkey. Judging by your arms, and probably the rest of your body, you seem to be cutting nearly a dozen times every day. That's why we're going to help you by offering this. We'll give you a month, and if you haven't gotten your cutting down to less than a half-dozen a day, we'll have to take some other action." Spencer said, trying to keep all threats out of his voice.
"Okay." Ryan said. "Oh yeah, and you might be subject to strip searches every once in a while." Jeffree tossed in. This lead Ryan to squeak, and ask, "What the hell?" Everyone excluding Ryan laughed a little, before Brendon said, "To make sure that nothing's getting infected or anything in the next few months." Ryan looked at all of them like they were crazy, before asking, "How long is that going to last?"
"Well, depends how long you keep cutting for. It's going to be at least 4 months, till you're down to less than 6 per day, then the next month, 3, then the next month, 1, then the month after that, not at all, but just to make sure you don't go back to it. " Spencer said with an apologetic shrug. "So you're saying if I somehow manage to get it to 1 or less times per day, in one month, then you'll only have to do that for two months?" Ryan asked hopefully. "Yeppers. Now follow me." Spencer said, getting up and walking out of the room. Ryan followed him wordlessly. Behind him, the three left behind had huge grins across their faces.
WAYYYY overdue. Short, I know, but I really wanted to get this update out there for you guys to enjoy. Proof I didn't die, and proof this isn't a dead fic either. Rate & Review for another chapter. XO
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