Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Dragon Fired Crackpipe Visions
In the slightly modified words of Sergeant Schultz from Hogan's Heroes (which I also don't own):
"I own nothing, I hear nothing, I see nothing, I know nothing! Nothing!"
Dragon Fired Crackpipe Visions
The RED Card
4th year summer after the graveyard scene
Little Whinging
"Harry, I want you to have something. It's a box that appeared after your mother died. I'd hidden it in the attic, but I think you need something to comfort you after what you've been through. Here, take it." said Petunia. She handed him a small jewelry box with a lily painted on it. Harry returned to his room, and sat upon his threadbare mattress, shifting to avoid the spring pointing through.
As Harry ran his fingers over the jewelry box, he noticed that the lily seemed to gain depth and substance, and watched fascinated as it began to glow. With a click, the box opened.
Harry looked inside in wonder. The jewelry box was larger on the inside than the outside. It appeared to be roughly the size of his trunk from school. There were notes from school, books, a scrapbook, clothes, as well as a small tray. The tray had both of his parents' wedding rings, as well as some other pieces of jewelry.
There was also a small red card. It reminded Harry of the cards the football referees carried. He picked it up and looked closely at it. One side was simply plain and red. He flipped it over and his eyes widened.
Oh, this had definite possibilities.
Harry had always wondered why his mother had so much respect from Remus, and what had seemed almost like fear at times from Sirius. It appeared she had grown tired of Sirius' pranks, and had retaliated. This card however, was retaliation on the scale of Hiroshima.
She had a laminated gift certificate for a neutering at the Magical Menagerie, with a picture of Padfoot on it. According to the note, all she had to do was activate the card with a "Castrato Canis" and Sirius would lose the boys.
Harry shivered, wondering what exactly had led to this card being purchased, and knew he was in for an interesting next meeting with Sirius.
Grimmauld Place
"Hey Pup! Good to see you! I know the place is a dump, but at least you are away from the blubber twins!" laughed Sirius.
"I'm glad to see you too, Sirius! Lots to catch up on, it's definitely been an interesting summer. My aunt gave me my mom's old jewelry box, so I was able to learn a lot from her notes." said Harry.
"Good, good! Remind me later, and I'll give you a copy of my old Marauder journal. No need to be serious all summer, after all, I should be enough of that for everyone!" chuckled Sirius.
"Don't even start old man!" warned Harry with a growl.
Sirius merely barked out a laugh, and proceeded to ruffle Harry's hair. "You sound just like your mum there, Harry!" said Sirius.
Harry merely raised an eyebrow, reaching for his shirt pocket,and then slightly extracting a portion of the red card. "Funny you should say that, Sirius." said Harry, repressing a smirk.
While Sirius was already pale from being stuck in Grimmauld place, he turned so pale upon the sight of the red card, Peeves would have looked like a chimney sweep in comparison.
With a whimper and a POP! Sirius disappeared from the entrance of Grimmauld Place.
Remus had fallen to the floor laughing, and was gasping and howling with laughter.
The twins were dumbstruck, and Hermione was speechless.
Ron leaned over, looking at the spot where Sirius had previously been. "Bloody Hell! I think he splinched himself!" exclaimed Ron.
Remus was wheezing and shaking his head no. He was trying to say something, but no one could understand him.
Finally, Hermione leaned forwards to look at whatever was left behind by Sirius. Suddenly, she pulled back as her nose wrinkled in disgust.
She exclaimed, "He didn't splinch himself, he shat himself!"
Remus whimpered out, "Just like his mother!" before collapsing once more into laughter with the twins.
A/N – I have always seen how the Marauders were all so impressed with Lily, and I started thinking. (Always a dangerous thing with me)
How would a intelligent, powerful witch handle a horn dog like Sirius?
Then I saw a soccer game, and the inevitable argument between a player, and the ref. They'll bitch and yell and posture, but 9 times out of 10, that red card starts to peek out?
Poof!
No more argument.
As always with these, I may write more, I may not, but at least it gets it out of my system. I am not sure about the last bit by Remus, basically, I was trying to make the point that Harry is acting just like his mother. I worry people may think Remus is referring to Sirius' mother instead though.
(One hint about where I would take this... Think about what most teens do with an old id, and how they are desperate to get a fake id...)
Take a look at my profile, and vote for what you would like to see updated next please!
"I own nothing, I hear nothing, I see nothing, I know nothing! Nothing!"
Dragon Fired Crackpipe Visions
The RED Card
4th year summer after the graveyard scene
Little Whinging
"Harry, I want you to have something. It's a box that appeared after your mother died. I'd hidden it in the attic, but I think you need something to comfort you after what you've been through. Here, take it." said Petunia. She handed him a small jewelry box with a lily painted on it. Harry returned to his room, and sat upon his threadbare mattress, shifting to avoid the spring pointing through.
As Harry ran his fingers over the jewelry box, he noticed that the lily seemed to gain depth and substance, and watched fascinated as it began to glow. With a click, the box opened.
Harry looked inside in wonder. The jewelry box was larger on the inside than the outside. It appeared to be roughly the size of his trunk from school. There were notes from school, books, a scrapbook, clothes, as well as a small tray. The tray had both of his parents' wedding rings, as well as some other pieces of jewelry.
There was also a small red card. It reminded Harry of the cards the football referees carried. He picked it up and looked closely at it. One side was simply plain and red. He flipped it over and his eyes widened.
Oh, this had definite possibilities.
Harry had always wondered why his mother had so much respect from Remus, and what had seemed almost like fear at times from Sirius. It appeared she had grown tired of Sirius' pranks, and had retaliated. This card however, was retaliation on the scale of Hiroshima.
She had a laminated gift certificate for a neutering at the Magical Menagerie, with a picture of Padfoot on it. According to the note, all she had to do was activate the card with a "Castrato Canis" and Sirius would lose the boys.
Harry shivered, wondering what exactly had led to this card being purchased, and knew he was in for an interesting next meeting with Sirius.
Grimmauld Place
"Hey Pup! Good to see you! I know the place is a dump, but at least you are away from the blubber twins!" laughed Sirius.
"I'm glad to see you too, Sirius! Lots to catch up on, it's definitely been an interesting summer. My aunt gave me my mom's old jewelry box, so I was able to learn a lot from her notes." said Harry.
"Good, good! Remind me later, and I'll give you a copy of my old Marauder journal. No need to be serious all summer, after all, I should be enough of that for everyone!" chuckled Sirius.
"Don't even start old man!" warned Harry with a growl.
Sirius merely barked out a laugh, and proceeded to ruffle Harry's hair. "You sound just like your mum there, Harry!" said Sirius.
Harry merely raised an eyebrow, reaching for his shirt pocket,and then slightly extracting a portion of the red card. "Funny you should say that, Sirius." said Harry, repressing a smirk.
While Sirius was already pale from being stuck in Grimmauld place, he turned so pale upon the sight of the red card, Peeves would have looked like a chimney sweep in comparison.
With a whimper and a POP! Sirius disappeared from the entrance of Grimmauld Place.
Remus had fallen to the floor laughing, and was gasping and howling with laughter.
The twins were dumbstruck, and Hermione was speechless.
Ron leaned over, looking at the spot where Sirius had previously been. "Bloody Hell! I think he splinched himself!" exclaimed Ron.
Remus was wheezing and shaking his head no. He was trying to say something, but no one could understand him.
Finally, Hermione leaned forwards to look at whatever was left behind by Sirius. Suddenly, she pulled back as her nose wrinkled in disgust.
She exclaimed, "He didn't splinch himself, he shat himself!"
Remus whimpered out, "Just like his mother!" before collapsing once more into laughter with the twins.
A/N – I have always seen how the Marauders were all so impressed with Lily, and I started thinking. (Always a dangerous thing with me)
How would a intelligent, powerful witch handle a horn dog like Sirius?
Then I saw a soccer game, and the inevitable argument between a player, and the ref. They'll bitch and yell and posture, but 9 times out of 10, that red card starts to peek out?
Poof!
No more argument.
As always with these, I may write more, I may not, but at least it gets it out of my system. I am not sure about the last bit by Remus, basically, I was trying to make the point that Harry is acting just like his mother. I worry people may think Remus is referring to Sirius' mother instead though.
(One hint about where I would take this... Think about what most teens do with an old id, and how they are desperate to get a fake id...)
Take a look at my profile, and vote for what you would like to see updated next please!
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