Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > From The Earth To The Morgue
Mikey's pov
I opened my eyes slowly, feeling as if I'd been asleep for a very long time, but had never got any rest. All I could remember was searing pain, and telling my brother I loved him.
I was in a different room. I didn't remember coming here, but it was profoundly different that the one I had been occupying before. I looked around a bit before noticing people watching me from all angles, a doctor in the middle of them all, and my big brother standing a little further behind, looking pained and afraid. I seemed to be in a surgical room, but I didn't know why.
I stared up at the doctor, watching his mouth move, but unable to actually hear the words that were coming from his lips. He was speaking so fast, and I couldn't process the words through the pain. Gerard stood closer behind him, his eyes wide with horror and desperation. I could feel confusion bubbling over inside me, but I couldn't force myself topush through the haze that heald me steady. I could tell that I looked about as spaced out asI felt when the man pursed his lips impatiently and turned to my brother, who briefly glanced at him before quickly looking back at me.
I could see the guilt written all over my brother's face, and I would have had another explosion of anger, had I been able to usemy voice. I could hear myself sputtering as if I were choking, but those were my words. I could breath, butI couldn't get anything that made sense out of my throat.
"Please," I cried, making the first word that actually made sense. I clutched at my rib and groaned in agony, twisting under the sheets and getting them tangled around my legs. I didn't feel like I was doing it, but it was happening all the same.
The sounds of the world all came exploding at me again at one moment, the pain becoming different; clear and urgent. I screamed out at thesounds of hospital equiptment buzzing, beeping, shrilling all around me, thevoices of people in pain all around me, and I forced my fingers up to clamp around my ears, trying to muffle it all out.
My brothers face went white, and he rushed to my bedside, shouting at the doctor. "Help him, damnit! Can't you see he's in pain? Are you fucking blind,or just plain deaf?"
I wanted to comfort my brother, but I wanted him to hold me tight more. His hand gripped mine steadily, and I turned my eyes to look at him, his sad eyes and tight lipsas if he were trying to keep himself from crying.
And there I couldn't take it. I was doing it again, soaking up all his strength and taking it for myself when I should have had my own in the first place. I pushed my brother away from me with as much force as I could, and heard my voicerise a couple levels, in desperation to keep him back.
His lips quivered, and a nurse escourted him out of the room, even though he fought her, and pressed himself up against the glass window outside anyways.
It seemed to me that all I could give my older brother, my protector, was pain.
"Sir, I'm sorry, but you can't wait there." the nurse said, her voice gentle, as she placed a hand on Gerard's arm. He shot her a glare that would have killed, but walked away. His shoulders slumped forward.
"I have to protect him." he told the nurse without looking at her again, his voice breaking slightly. I could hear the tears straining his voice.
She replied with something I couldn't understand and I turned my gaze back to my doctor.
"What's going on?" I hissed, hoping the words actually sounded right, and I wasn't just hearing what I wanted it to sound like. Apparently, I'd done fine.
"You have to go through immediate sugery, Mr. Way. You should be fine by the time it's over, but it needs to be done now. Your brother has already signed all the forms. Are you ready?"
My mouth went dry, but Iknew I couldn't just sit here and stare at him the way I was. Something inside me was wrong, and they had to fix it.
Thoughts began to race through my mind, fear making all common sense leave me within seconds. I shuddered, but managed a nod, gritting my teeth as the movement in my body brought up another sharp pain.Another sharp pain appeared in my arm, and I could sense that it was a needle.
I felt everything calm, as my pain melted away and everyone slowed. The harsh hospital sounds faded, and everything became the way it should have been, as if I were simply going to sleep and not heading into another major surgery.
"Tell my brother I love him." I said, the thought coming to my mind. The words felt different on my tongue this time, though, as if it were more of a good-bye than anything else.
~~~~
I drifted off somewhere else,feeling alone but somehow loving it, as if that were the way life was supposed to be. Solitary. I wanted to look around and see what was around me, but as if someone else were controlling me, the action didn't happen.
I didn't think about it again, but instead fixed my thoughts to my brother, and wondering where he was. I felt a deep longing to see him, and needed to feel him in my arms. I craved it.
And then I saw him, sitting in a room full of people, but looking completely alone. I could see all of the people sitting in their plain gray chairs, but they looked washed out, faded, sitting next to Gerard.
His face was in his hand, his shoulders shaking. I flinched and wonderd how much of this he'd done in the last however-many-hours we'd been here.
And then he looked up, his eyes flashing as he saw me. I jumped back, falling over a chair in the process, as Gerard stormed towards me. His every step was filled with rage,and his eyes full of betrayal.
"It's always about you." he shouted, pointing an accusing finger at me. I opened my mouth to speak, but couldn't. He wasn't done.
"I can't ever have a moment to myself, because I'm always having to worry about you!"
I tried to scramble away, to escape the words my brother was shouting at me, but couldn't get away from it. Even when I was up and running off in some other direction, where I couldn't see where I was going, but running into a tunnel that never ended.
And when I finally reached it, I fell. And this time, my big brother wasn't there to help me up.
~~~~
I jumped into an awakened state, as stared at the cieling for a little while, waiting for my breathing to slow down again.
I rolled over, trying to tell myself it was just a dream but unable toreally convice myself, when my eyes fell on my sleeping brother. He looked peaceful, the most peaceful I'd seenin a while.
I held my breath to keep from making a sound and disturbing him. This was one time I wouldn't bother him with my problems, and would leave him to his own dreams.
I opened my eyes slowly, feeling as if I'd been asleep for a very long time, but had never got any rest. All I could remember was searing pain, and telling my brother I loved him.
I was in a different room. I didn't remember coming here, but it was profoundly different that the one I had been occupying before. I looked around a bit before noticing people watching me from all angles, a doctor in the middle of them all, and my big brother standing a little further behind, looking pained and afraid. I seemed to be in a surgical room, but I didn't know why.
I stared up at the doctor, watching his mouth move, but unable to actually hear the words that were coming from his lips. He was speaking so fast, and I couldn't process the words through the pain. Gerard stood closer behind him, his eyes wide with horror and desperation. I could feel confusion bubbling over inside me, but I couldn't force myself topush through the haze that heald me steady. I could tell that I looked about as spaced out asI felt when the man pursed his lips impatiently and turned to my brother, who briefly glanced at him before quickly looking back at me.
I could see the guilt written all over my brother's face, and I would have had another explosion of anger, had I been able to usemy voice. I could hear myself sputtering as if I were choking, but those were my words. I could breath, butI couldn't get anything that made sense out of my throat.
"Please," I cried, making the first word that actually made sense. I clutched at my rib and groaned in agony, twisting under the sheets and getting them tangled around my legs. I didn't feel like I was doing it, but it was happening all the same.
The sounds of the world all came exploding at me again at one moment, the pain becoming different; clear and urgent. I screamed out at thesounds of hospital equiptment buzzing, beeping, shrilling all around me, thevoices of people in pain all around me, and I forced my fingers up to clamp around my ears, trying to muffle it all out.
My brothers face went white, and he rushed to my bedside, shouting at the doctor. "Help him, damnit! Can't you see he's in pain? Are you fucking blind,or just plain deaf?"
I wanted to comfort my brother, but I wanted him to hold me tight more. His hand gripped mine steadily, and I turned my eyes to look at him, his sad eyes and tight lipsas if he were trying to keep himself from crying.
And there I couldn't take it. I was doing it again, soaking up all his strength and taking it for myself when I should have had my own in the first place. I pushed my brother away from me with as much force as I could, and heard my voicerise a couple levels, in desperation to keep him back.
His lips quivered, and a nurse escourted him out of the room, even though he fought her, and pressed himself up against the glass window outside anyways.
It seemed to me that all I could give my older brother, my protector, was pain.
"Sir, I'm sorry, but you can't wait there." the nurse said, her voice gentle, as she placed a hand on Gerard's arm. He shot her a glare that would have killed, but walked away. His shoulders slumped forward.
"I have to protect him." he told the nurse without looking at her again, his voice breaking slightly. I could hear the tears straining his voice.
She replied with something I couldn't understand and I turned my gaze back to my doctor.
"What's going on?" I hissed, hoping the words actually sounded right, and I wasn't just hearing what I wanted it to sound like. Apparently, I'd done fine.
"You have to go through immediate sugery, Mr. Way. You should be fine by the time it's over, but it needs to be done now. Your brother has already signed all the forms. Are you ready?"
My mouth went dry, but Iknew I couldn't just sit here and stare at him the way I was. Something inside me was wrong, and they had to fix it.
Thoughts began to race through my mind, fear making all common sense leave me within seconds. I shuddered, but managed a nod, gritting my teeth as the movement in my body brought up another sharp pain.Another sharp pain appeared in my arm, and I could sense that it was a needle.
I felt everything calm, as my pain melted away and everyone slowed. The harsh hospital sounds faded, and everything became the way it should have been, as if I were simply going to sleep and not heading into another major surgery.
"Tell my brother I love him." I said, the thought coming to my mind. The words felt different on my tongue this time, though, as if it were more of a good-bye than anything else.
~~~~
I drifted off somewhere else,feeling alone but somehow loving it, as if that were the way life was supposed to be. Solitary. I wanted to look around and see what was around me, but as if someone else were controlling me, the action didn't happen.
I didn't think about it again, but instead fixed my thoughts to my brother, and wondering where he was. I felt a deep longing to see him, and needed to feel him in my arms. I craved it.
And then I saw him, sitting in a room full of people, but looking completely alone. I could see all of the people sitting in their plain gray chairs, but they looked washed out, faded, sitting next to Gerard.
His face was in his hand, his shoulders shaking. I flinched and wonderd how much of this he'd done in the last however-many-hours we'd been here.
And then he looked up, his eyes flashing as he saw me. I jumped back, falling over a chair in the process, as Gerard stormed towards me. His every step was filled with rage,and his eyes full of betrayal.
"It's always about you." he shouted, pointing an accusing finger at me. I opened my mouth to speak, but couldn't. He wasn't done.
"I can't ever have a moment to myself, because I'm always having to worry about you!"
I tried to scramble away, to escape the words my brother was shouting at me, but couldn't get away from it. Even when I was up and running off in some other direction, where I couldn't see where I was going, but running into a tunnel that never ended.
And when I finally reached it, I fell. And this time, my big brother wasn't there to help me up.
~~~~
I jumped into an awakened state, as stared at the cieling for a little while, waiting for my breathing to slow down again.
I rolled over, trying to tell myself it was just a dream but unable toreally convice myself, when my eyes fell on my sleeping brother. He looked peaceful, the most peaceful I'd seenin a while.
I held my breath to keep from making a sound and disturbing him. This was one time I wouldn't bother him with my problems, and would leave him to his own dreams.
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