Categories > Celebrities > 30 Seconds to Mars > Darkness Of Flashbacks
Guardian Angel
2 reviewsJared gets help from a 'guardian angel' and experiences the most pleasant hours he has had for months.
2Ambiance
- And I am finally free -
May 19th, 2007
When Jared tried to enter the usual therapy room for his usual forenoon-session someone grabbed his arm roughly. The singer turned around slowly and faced Valentino. The guard was bald, tall and had so much muscle-mass that he looked like a huge bull. Big and black tattoos covered Valentino's arms, where the weirdest one was a portrait of his teenage daughter. The muscular man's face was a lot more soft-looking than his body. Valentino was scared that the absent minded man would fall to the ground again, like he had done yesterday. He watched Jared carefully and noticed just how damaged the man looked. Valentino thought that it looked like Jared had aged a couple of years during his short period of time in Martha's.
"You're going to be in a different room today." Valentino started. He knew the meaning of 'the room' as he had been there plenty of times to do his job. The tough guard shuddered as he thought about the past times he had been in there. The patients' screaming and crying still haunted him at night. "I'll guide you." the guard continued and started walking. Jared followed him as he had no other choice. The singer wondered what room Valentino was talking about. His natural instincts told him that something was wrong and he felt how his breakfast was trying to come back up again. The guard and the rocker walked through long and deserted corridors in which Jared had never walked before. They headed down a stair into the basement. And there, in the end of another corridor with blinking lamps on the walls, was a single door. The sight of the lonely wooden door made Jared uncomfortable.
Valentino put his hand on the cold metal handle of the door and inhaled sharply. "Hello Valentino, and Jared!" A voice from behind said in a cheerful tone. Both the rocker and the guard turned around and Valentino felt relieved when he had an excuse to let go of the door's handle. Behind them stood the nurse. To Jared, who was slightly nervous, she looked like an angel sent from the sky. Her short and slim body had a posture which made her look assertive and ballsy. "I saw that Micha had booked the room for Jared, but I also have some things to sort out with young mister Leto." the nurse said. Valentino nodded and smiled. The nurse was like a savior for him as well. "I'll tell her to book the room this afternoon instead if you take him with you now." Valentino said and went inside the room by himself to tell Micha the news. The guard opened and closed the door so quickly that Jared didn't get a chance to see what was hiding inside it.
The nurse and Jared went up to her office. She gestured for the man to sit down on the bunk while she opened the thick file with Jared's name on it. Her jet black hair shone as the light from the strip lightning in the ceiling hit her. Jared felt how his insides finally calmed down and he felt strangely safe. He let his glance dance over the room and read on the diplomas hanging on one wall. 'Tricia Moore' was written on them with big black letters. The singer memorized the name of his guardian angel. Tricia put the file down and looked directly at Jared with her dull grey eyes. "I've noticed that it looks like you have lost a lot of weight." she started. Jared couldn't help how his stare locked on her lips. Tricia wore a lipstick in a dark plum color and some of it had stuck to her teeth. He also saw that she had a pimple, or possibly a wart, which she had been trying to cover up by using a ton of foundation over the poor imperfection. "So, can you step onto the scale?" she asked kindly.
Jared jumped off the bunk and pliantly stepped onto the white cube. He didn't watch the number himself but figured since the nurse gasped, that it was something special. The singer had surely noticed how his red prisoner's-suit had become bigger and bigger on him for each and every day but he had never put any importance behind it. "This can't be true..." Tricia mumbled and stared at the numbers. As they didn't change she finally had to accept the fact. "I'm very sad to say that you have lost almost twenty-five pound since you got here."
The numbers came like a cold shower over Jared. He knew that he had lost weight but had no idea that it would be that much. Tricia wrote down Jared's new weight in his file with a dissatisfied look on her face. "Everything you've lost is in muscle mass. You are dangerously close to being severely underweight, which worries me." the dark haired nurse said slowly while scratching her forehead with her pencil. "I see that you're a vegetarian too. I can give you some pills to help you to get all of the necessary vitamins and iron. The rest is up to you. My advice to you is to eat more, for your own sake." Jared swallowed harshly. The idea of eating more of the canteen's disgusting and oil-drenched food wasn't exactly a dream come true. Still, he felt like he wanted to make Tricia proud of him. Like he owed her something.
"Please, sit down again." Tricia ordered the singer. Jared obeyed and sunk down on the paper-clad bunk. "You look awful." Tricia stated after looking at Jared's bushy and long hair and unshaved face. She felt bad over the fact that the former actor and rocker was starting to look more like a hobo and a walking skeleton. She wanted to help him.
The nurse opened her cabinets and took out a razor, a pair of scissors and a tin of shaving-lather. "Do you want me to fix you?" she asked. Jared gave her a brief nod and closed his eyes. Tricia started to lather the man's cheeks and put the sharp razor to his skin and started shaving him. Her hand was elongated by the razor, and she stroked his face clean of hair very slowly. Jared opened his eyes for a moment. His blue eyes met her grey ones and he felt warm. Jared felt that the shaving was an act of kindness and care from her side. He closed his eyes once again and tried hard to hold his smile back. After a while Tricia put the razor down and grabbed a towel to wipe away some left-over traces of lather off of Jared's face. She then wrapped the towel around his neck, to prevent annoying hair to fall inside his suit, and started trimming his hair with the scissors. The rocker shivered as he heard the sounds of the metal scissors just next to his right ear.
Tricia was grinning as she held up a mirror in front of Jared's face. "It turned out great, didn't it?" she asked and was proud of her achievements. Jared watched himself, with a smooth face and much shorter hair. Tricia had cut it a couple of inches and Jared was very pleased with the result. He looked at her with a face which radiated ' thank you', and to his delight she seemed to get it. It was about lunchtime when Tricia looked at her watch and shrieked.
"I've had you here for over an hour! Now get out of here! Eat until you're about to burst and show the guards how good you look with that new hair!" she rambled and giggled. Jared exited her office and steered his steps towards the canteen. He noticed how being around Tricia had killed his worries for a while and injected him with a dose of exuberance.
The singer felt how his bladder was about to burst. Bladder overload. The singer sneaked into a bathroom on his way to the canteen and entered a booth. He opened the zipper of his suit and sat down on the chilly toilet's seat and released the pressure. With a happy sigh he leaned his head back towards a wall and slipped into a flashback.
September 4th, 1998
Jared laid on his back. Sweaty, satisfied and happy. He had stains all over his clothes and his face. He wiped the damp hair and runnels of salty sweat off of his forehead. Then, he opened his mouth and laughed heartily. The sound echoed against the empty walls. "I didn't know it was humanly possible for a man to be so happy over a finished painting..." Shannon said and shook his head. Jared shook his head as well. The laughter kept rolling off his tongue like pearls of tinkling joy. His fit body twisted and turned as he laid in his own mess.
"You are officially mad." Shannon stated and walked out of the room. Jared covered his eyes with his color-stained arm and breathed loudly. "What a fucking good painting." the singer whispered breathlessly.
*
Jared snapped back to reality and realized that he was still sitting on the toilet. He rapidly stood up and zipped the suit back on. To his surprise, the food in the canteen was eatable. Jared ate plate after plate of the vegetable stew with wooked rice. For the first time during his time in Martha's, he felt full. When Jared walked towards the exit of the canteen he saw Valentino's face waiting for him. The guard looked nervous and low-spirited. The bad feelings started to spring up inside Jared again. He clenched his jaw and walked towards the muscular guard.
"Hey... It's time to head back down to the room. Micha's waiting for us." Valentino said in a tiny voice. He didn't sound big or tough at all. Jared exhaled through his nose and took his first brave steps towards the basement together with Valentino. The singer knew that his afternoon wouldn't be nearly as pleasant as the time he had shared with Tricia. He then realized that to the higher powers, a new haircut or a smooth face wouldn't mean a damn thing.
As they walked, Jared caught a glimpse of the world outside the windows. The green grass, the trees and the birds. He closed his eyes and shuddered.
A/N: I hope you all are proud of me now for updating! Yes? (-:
Please continue to review. It gives me so much happiness.
This chapter is dedicated to my grandfather who is in the hospital right now. I love you.
May 19th, 2007
When Jared tried to enter the usual therapy room for his usual forenoon-session someone grabbed his arm roughly. The singer turned around slowly and faced Valentino. The guard was bald, tall and had so much muscle-mass that he looked like a huge bull. Big and black tattoos covered Valentino's arms, where the weirdest one was a portrait of his teenage daughter. The muscular man's face was a lot more soft-looking than his body. Valentino was scared that the absent minded man would fall to the ground again, like he had done yesterday. He watched Jared carefully and noticed just how damaged the man looked. Valentino thought that it looked like Jared had aged a couple of years during his short period of time in Martha's.
"You're going to be in a different room today." Valentino started. He knew the meaning of 'the room' as he had been there plenty of times to do his job. The tough guard shuddered as he thought about the past times he had been in there. The patients' screaming and crying still haunted him at night. "I'll guide you." the guard continued and started walking. Jared followed him as he had no other choice. The singer wondered what room Valentino was talking about. His natural instincts told him that something was wrong and he felt how his breakfast was trying to come back up again. The guard and the rocker walked through long and deserted corridors in which Jared had never walked before. They headed down a stair into the basement. And there, in the end of another corridor with blinking lamps on the walls, was a single door. The sight of the lonely wooden door made Jared uncomfortable.
Valentino put his hand on the cold metal handle of the door and inhaled sharply. "Hello Valentino, and Jared!" A voice from behind said in a cheerful tone. Both the rocker and the guard turned around and Valentino felt relieved when he had an excuse to let go of the door's handle. Behind them stood the nurse. To Jared, who was slightly nervous, she looked like an angel sent from the sky. Her short and slim body had a posture which made her look assertive and ballsy. "I saw that Micha had booked the room for Jared, but I also have some things to sort out with young mister Leto." the nurse said. Valentino nodded and smiled. The nurse was like a savior for him as well. "I'll tell her to book the room this afternoon instead if you take him with you now." Valentino said and went inside the room by himself to tell Micha the news. The guard opened and closed the door so quickly that Jared didn't get a chance to see what was hiding inside it.
The nurse and Jared went up to her office. She gestured for the man to sit down on the bunk while she opened the thick file with Jared's name on it. Her jet black hair shone as the light from the strip lightning in the ceiling hit her. Jared felt how his insides finally calmed down and he felt strangely safe. He let his glance dance over the room and read on the diplomas hanging on one wall. 'Tricia Moore' was written on them with big black letters. The singer memorized the name of his guardian angel. Tricia put the file down and looked directly at Jared with her dull grey eyes. "I've noticed that it looks like you have lost a lot of weight." she started. Jared couldn't help how his stare locked on her lips. Tricia wore a lipstick in a dark plum color and some of it had stuck to her teeth. He also saw that she had a pimple, or possibly a wart, which she had been trying to cover up by using a ton of foundation over the poor imperfection. "So, can you step onto the scale?" she asked kindly.
Jared jumped off the bunk and pliantly stepped onto the white cube. He didn't watch the number himself but figured since the nurse gasped, that it was something special. The singer had surely noticed how his red prisoner's-suit had become bigger and bigger on him for each and every day but he had never put any importance behind it. "This can't be true..." Tricia mumbled and stared at the numbers. As they didn't change she finally had to accept the fact. "I'm very sad to say that you have lost almost twenty-five pound since you got here."
The numbers came like a cold shower over Jared. He knew that he had lost weight but had no idea that it would be that much. Tricia wrote down Jared's new weight in his file with a dissatisfied look on her face. "Everything you've lost is in muscle mass. You are dangerously close to being severely underweight, which worries me." the dark haired nurse said slowly while scratching her forehead with her pencil. "I see that you're a vegetarian too. I can give you some pills to help you to get all of the necessary vitamins and iron. The rest is up to you. My advice to you is to eat more, for your own sake." Jared swallowed harshly. The idea of eating more of the canteen's disgusting and oil-drenched food wasn't exactly a dream come true. Still, he felt like he wanted to make Tricia proud of him. Like he owed her something.
"Please, sit down again." Tricia ordered the singer. Jared obeyed and sunk down on the paper-clad bunk. "You look awful." Tricia stated after looking at Jared's bushy and long hair and unshaved face. She felt bad over the fact that the former actor and rocker was starting to look more like a hobo and a walking skeleton. She wanted to help him.
The nurse opened her cabinets and took out a razor, a pair of scissors and a tin of shaving-lather. "Do you want me to fix you?" she asked. Jared gave her a brief nod and closed his eyes. Tricia started to lather the man's cheeks and put the sharp razor to his skin and started shaving him. Her hand was elongated by the razor, and she stroked his face clean of hair very slowly. Jared opened his eyes for a moment. His blue eyes met her grey ones and he felt warm. Jared felt that the shaving was an act of kindness and care from her side. He closed his eyes once again and tried hard to hold his smile back. After a while Tricia put the razor down and grabbed a towel to wipe away some left-over traces of lather off of Jared's face. She then wrapped the towel around his neck, to prevent annoying hair to fall inside his suit, and started trimming his hair with the scissors. The rocker shivered as he heard the sounds of the metal scissors just next to his right ear.
Tricia was grinning as she held up a mirror in front of Jared's face. "It turned out great, didn't it?" she asked and was proud of her achievements. Jared watched himself, with a smooth face and much shorter hair. Tricia had cut it a couple of inches and Jared was very pleased with the result. He looked at her with a face which radiated ' thank you', and to his delight she seemed to get it. It was about lunchtime when Tricia looked at her watch and shrieked.
"I've had you here for over an hour! Now get out of here! Eat until you're about to burst and show the guards how good you look with that new hair!" she rambled and giggled. Jared exited her office and steered his steps towards the canteen. He noticed how being around Tricia had killed his worries for a while and injected him with a dose of exuberance.
The singer felt how his bladder was about to burst. Bladder overload. The singer sneaked into a bathroom on his way to the canteen and entered a booth. He opened the zipper of his suit and sat down on the chilly toilet's seat and released the pressure. With a happy sigh he leaned his head back towards a wall and slipped into a flashback.
September 4th, 1998
Jared laid on his back. Sweaty, satisfied and happy. He had stains all over his clothes and his face. He wiped the damp hair and runnels of salty sweat off of his forehead. Then, he opened his mouth and laughed heartily. The sound echoed against the empty walls. "I didn't know it was humanly possible for a man to be so happy over a finished painting..." Shannon said and shook his head. Jared shook his head as well. The laughter kept rolling off his tongue like pearls of tinkling joy. His fit body twisted and turned as he laid in his own mess.
"You are officially mad." Shannon stated and walked out of the room. Jared covered his eyes with his color-stained arm and breathed loudly. "What a fucking good painting." the singer whispered breathlessly.
*
Jared snapped back to reality and realized that he was still sitting on the toilet. He rapidly stood up and zipped the suit back on. To his surprise, the food in the canteen was eatable. Jared ate plate after plate of the vegetable stew with wooked rice. For the first time during his time in Martha's, he felt full. When Jared walked towards the exit of the canteen he saw Valentino's face waiting for him. The guard looked nervous and low-spirited. The bad feelings started to spring up inside Jared again. He clenched his jaw and walked towards the muscular guard.
"Hey... It's time to head back down to the room. Micha's waiting for us." Valentino said in a tiny voice. He didn't sound big or tough at all. Jared exhaled through his nose and took his first brave steps towards the basement together with Valentino. The singer knew that his afternoon wouldn't be nearly as pleasant as the time he had shared with Tricia. He then realized that to the higher powers, a new haircut or a smooth face wouldn't mean a damn thing.
As they walked, Jared caught a glimpse of the world outside the windows. The green grass, the trees and the birds. He closed his eyes and shuddered.
A/N: I hope you all are proud of me now for updating! Yes? (-:
Please continue to review. It gives me so much happiness.
This chapter is dedicated to my grandfather who is in the hospital right now. I love you.
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