Categories > Celebrities > 30 Seconds to Mars > Flashbacks Of A Determined Mind
- It took a moment before I lost myself in here -
May 20th, 2007
Jared laid in silence. The bed didn't even creak as he breathed. The singer's muscles ached and he was exhausted. He didn't know what time it was, neither did he have the motivation to find a clock and look for himself. It was passed midnight though, but the singer could not fall asleep. He remembered the afternoon in small fragments. The memories were abstract and foggy. As the pieces of what had happened earlier gurgled over Jared like foaming waves, he bit his lip so hard that the skin gave in. A faint taste of iron reached his taste buds when the blood hit his tongue.
Jared could hear Valentino trying to muffle his sobs through the wall. The singer closed his eyes and breathed loudly. In and out. In and out. In and out.
The first memory which popped up in Jared's mind was when the door finally swung open to reveal what was inside the notorious room. He had first seen Micha's smirking face and then a bunk with straps attached to it. That was when the worry had hit him like a punch to the gut. He stopped dead in his tracks and had no intentions of entering the room.
"Bring him in." Micha had purred and Jared felt Valentino's enormous hands on his back which pushed him inside the room. It looked like a torture-chamber from a horror movie with its dirty floor and the cold walls of stone. There was also a lack of windows and proper lights. Only one sad strip light hung from the ceiling and drowned the place in a dim light.
"Lay down, please." Micha had said sternly and gestured towards the bunk. Jared felt himself shake his head violently. His feet took a searching step backwards towards the exit. Unfortunately, Jared backed right into Valentino's arms. The big guard picked the much smaller man up and put him down on the bunk.
Jared's forehead was starting to glisten and the sweat poured down his face. He had Valentino's full bodyweight over him just so he wouldn't try to escape.
"Feel like talking yet, dear?" Micha scoffed and walked towards the bunk to look down upon her stubborn patient. Micha had her grey hair in her usual tight bun and her glasses had fallen down on the tip of her nose in her excitement. Jared clenched his jaw together to mock her and smirked briefly. The psychiatrist started boiling inside which was also quite clear on the outside by the sight of her reddening face.
"Fine, as you wish." she huffed and put her hands on her swelling hips. The dull skirt she was wearing was a bit too tight for her body.
"Valentino, tie him down."
The guard with the kind face and shaved head pinned Jared's right leg down. Even if Jared was kicking for everything he was worth, Valentino took care of his leg without any signs of effort. He fastened the strap around the singer's bony ankle and then did the same thing to his left leg. Micha watched the scene with a grin that spread from ear to ear.
When Valentino continued to pin Jared's arms down to the bunk the singer felt great pains shooting through his body. "Sorry man." Valentino whispered under his breath as an apology. Jared couldn't move anywhere. He could try to twist and turn but it only lead to more pain. The tight straps cut off the blood-flow to his feet and hands.
Micha rolled a machine towards the bunk and smiled viciously. Jared swallowed loudly and his big Adam's apple looked pulsating.
"You have one last chance to speak before my little friends here decides to play with you." she said slowly and showed him two electrodes connected to the machine. It was an ETC-machine. A device to send electricity through the patient's brain to cause epileptic seizures. Mostly used to cure patients with deep depressions. Jared had seen machines like that in movies and on tv and knew quite a bit about the procedure. One thing he knew was that the patients were anesthetized and had had muscle-relaxing medicine before going into the seizures.
Jared squeezed his eyes shut as Micha placed the electrodes on his temples.
Jared's eyes shot open. He was drenched in sweat and his chest rose and fell rapidly. That was the last thing he remembered before the machine was turned on. What happened in between that and the next fragment of memory was pitch black. A black hole in the singer's already strained mind.
With a lot of effort, Jared watched his wrist. It was dark purple, blue and green at the same time. The bruises had been a result of the tight straps which had pinned him down to the bunk. Vulnerable and helpless. The former rockstar inhaled sharply through his nose. It caused him suffering as it stung.
Valentino wasn't crying outside the cell anymore, from what Jared could hear.
The guard sat down in the corridor with his face buried in his hands. The moon scattered blue light over the floors and revealed that the guard's hands were blood-stained. Even though his salty tears had washed away the majority of the red substance. One enormous body all alone.
Jared was shaking without any control of himself. His brain flashed and was a mess. Every single one of his muscles were stiff as rocks. "He's having a seizure! Turn the damn machine off!" Valentino screamed to the older lady who only increased the amounts of volt going through the singer's brain.
"Not yet." she answered coolly. Jared's body twitched and shook like a blender. His head bobbed up and down and slammed into the bunk forcefully time after time. Valentino felt that the thing had gone way too far. "Just turn the fucking machine off! Now!" he screeched with his dark voice. Micha jumped.
"Okay. I think the bastard has had enough." she said with a smile on her face and slowly turned back every wheel she had touched. The electricity stopped flowing through Jared and he laid completely still where he was. He was barely conscious and couldn't see anything. All he knew was that everything hurt.
"Do you want to talk now?" Micha asked the pumped out and defenceless man sweetly. Her smile only grew bigger as the former rockstar didn't answer her. She let one of her wrinkled fingers run along Jared's jawline. It got moist from the sweat which laid in beads on his face.
"Valentino. I think we have to persuade him into opening his mouth." she continued. The guard winced and begged that it would all be over. "How?" he asked quietly.
Jared could at first hear their voices, like a distant murmur. It sounded like he was lying under water and they tried to contact him through the surface. Then other voices penetrated his ears. The sound of Shannon talking about girls. The sound of Tomo talking about music. The sound of Yolanda's laugh. Two barking dogs.
Suddenly, he was out like a light. Not aware of what was going on.
Jared couldn't remember anything else. The next thing he remembered was how he woke up and found himself in Valentino's arms. The guard was carrying him into his cell and put him down carefully on top of the bed.
The bald man then went into the bathroom for a brief moment and came back out with a wet cloth. He dabbed it underneath Jared's nose and down to his chin. "I'm so sorry." the guard repeated quietly. Jared didn't know what he was apologizing for and didn't care either.
Valentino felt awful and dirty as he sat down in the corridor. He had acted like a monster and his guilt felt like a choking blanket. What he had done to Jared was against everything he had ever believed in.
The guard shivered as he thought about his daughter. How he would feel if someone had treated her like he had treated Jared today. He would have killed them.
"Knock some sense into him." Micha said and pointed at the unconscious Jared. Valentino laughed nervously and shook his head. "That's wrong. He's not even awake."
"I don't care. Just do it." she continued and sounded very annoyed. Valentino felt cold inside. He couldn't just punch someone who was lying down - and also unconcious. "I'm not getting paid to hurt innocent people. My job is to protect. Not attack." the enormous man yapped and crossed his muscular arms over his chest. Micha fired off an evil grin. "I have contacts. I can get you fired in no time. If I say that you refused to do your job, who will they believe? Me or you?" she stated in victory.
Valentino stepped towards the bunk and laid one of his hand on Jared's shoulder. The singer's breathing accelerated for a brief moment. The guard swallowed his tears and opened and closed his other hand slowly. "Hurry up." Micha commanded.
He lifted his hand and cursed as he then let it collide with Jared's nose. Which cracked. Blood splashed and stained Valentino's hands and arms. "I'm so sorry." he murmured again before he landed another punch on the same spot as before.
May 20th, 2007
Jared laid in silence. The bed didn't even creak as he breathed. The singer's muscles ached and he was exhausted. He didn't know what time it was, neither did he have the motivation to find a clock and look for himself. It was passed midnight though, but the singer could not fall asleep. He remembered the afternoon in small fragments. The memories were abstract and foggy. As the pieces of what had happened earlier gurgled over Jared like foaming waves, he bit his lip so hard that the skin gave in. A faint taste of iron reached his taste buds when the blood hit his tongue.
Jared could hear Valentino trying to muffle his sobs through the wall. The singer closed his eyes and breathed loudly. In and out. In and out. In and out.
The first memory which popped up in Jared's mind was when the door finally swung open to reveal what was inside the notorious room. He had first seen Micha's smirking face and then a bunk with straps attached to it. That was when the worry had hit him like a punch to the gut. He stopped dead in his tracks and had no intentions of entering the room.
"Bring him in." Micha had purred and Jared felt Valentino's enormous hands on his back which pushed him inside the room. It looked like a torture-chamber from a horror movie with its dirty floor and the cold walls of stone. There was also a lack of windows and proper lights. Only one sad strip light hung from the ceiling and drowned the place in a dim light.
"Lay down, please." Micha had said sternly and gestured towards the bunk. Jared felt himself shake his head violently. His feet took a searching step backwards towards the exit. Unfortunately, Jared backed right into Valentino's arms. The big guard picked the much smaller man up and put him down on the bunk.
Jared's forehead was starting to glisten and the sweat poured down his face. He had Valentino's full bodyweight over him just so he wouldn't try to escape.
"Feel like talking yet, dear?" Micha scoffed and walked towards the bunk to look down upon her stubborn patient. Micha had her grey hair in her usual tight bun and her glasses had fallen down on the tip of her nose in her excitement. Jared clenched his jaw together to mock her and smirked briefly. The psychiatrist started boiling inside which was also quite clear on the outside by the sight of her reddening face.
"Fine, as you wish." she huffed and put her hands on her swelling hips. The dull skirt she was wearing was a bit too tight for her body.
"Valentino, tie him down."
The guard with the kind face and shaved head pinned Jared's right leg down. Even if Jared was kicking for everything he was worth, Valentino took care of his leg without any signs of effort. He fastened the strap around the singer's bony ankle and then did the same thing to his left leg. Micha watched the scene with a grin that spread from ear to ear.
When Valentino continued to pin Jared's arms down to the bunk the singer felt great pains shooting through his body. "Sorry man." Valentino whispered under his breath as an apology. Jared couldn't move anywhere. He could try to twist and turn but it only lead to more pain. The tight straps cut off the blood-flow to his feet and hands.
Micha rolled a machine towards the bunk and smiled viciously. Jared swallowed loudly and his big Adam's apple looked pulsating.
"You have one last chance to speak before my little friends here decides to play with you." she said slowly and showed him two electrodes connected to the machine. It was an ETC-machine. A device to send electricity through the patient's brain to cause epileptic seizures. Mostly used to cure patients with deep depressions. Jared had seen machines like that in movies and on tv and knew quite a bit about the procedure. One thing he knew was that the patients were anesthetized and had had muscle-relaxing medicine before going into the seizures.
Jared squeezed his eyes shut as Micha placed the electrodes on his temples.
Jared's eyes shot open. He was drenched in sweat and his chest rose and fell rapidly. That was the last thing he remembered before the machine was turned on. What happened in between that and the next fragment of memory was pitch black. A black hole in the singer's already strained mind.
With a lot of effort, Jared watched his wrist. It was dark purple, blue and green at the same time. The bruises had been a result of the tight straps which had pinned him down to the bunk. Vulnerable and helpless. The former rockstar inhaled sharply through his nose. It caused him suffering as it stung.
Valentino wasn't crying outside the cell anymore, from what Jared could hear.
The guard sat down in the corridor with his face buried in his hands. The moon scattered blue light over the floors and revealed that the guard's hands were blood-stained. Even though his salty tears had washed away the majority of the red substance. One enormous body all alone.
Jared was shaking without any control of himself. His brain flashed and was a mess. Every single one of his muscles were stiff as rocks. "He's having a seizure! Turn the damn machine off!" Valentino screamed to the older lady who only increased the amounts of volt going through the singer's brain.
"Not yet." she answered coolly. Jared's body twitched and shook like a blender. His head bobbed up and down and slammed into the bunk forcefully time after time. Valentino felt that the thing had gone way too far. "Just turn the fucking machine off! Now!" he screeched with his dark voice. Micha jumped.
"Okay. I think the bastard has had enough." she said with a smile on her face and slowly turned back every wheel she had touched. The electricity stopped flowing through Jared and he laid completely still where he was. He was barely conscious and couldn't see anything. All he knew was that everything hurt.
"Do you want to talk now?" Micha asked the pumped out and defenceless man sweetly. Her smile only grew bigger as the former rockstar didn't answer her. She let one of her wrinkled fingers run along Jared's jawline. It got moist from the sweat which laid in beads on his face.
"Valentino. I think we have to persuade him into opening his mouth." she continued. The guard winced and begged that it would all be over. "How?" he asked quietly.
Jared could at first hear their voices, like a distant murmur. It sounded like he was lying under water and they tried to contact him through the surface. Then other voices penetrated his ears. The sound of Shannon talking about girls. The sound of Tomo talking about music. The sound of Yolanda's laugh. Two barking dogs.
Suddenly, he was out like a light. Not aware of what was going on.
Jared couldn't remember anything else. The next thing he remembered was how he woke up and found himself in Valentino's arms. The guard was carrying him into his cell and put him down carefully on top of the bed.
The bald man then went into the bathroom for a brief moment and came back out with a wet cloth. He dabbed it underneath Jared's nose and down to his chin. "I'm so sorry." the guard repeated quietly. Jared didn't know what he was apologizing for and didn't care either.
Valentino felt awful and dirty as he sat down in the corridor. He had acted like a monster and his guilt felt like a choking blanket. What he had done to Jared was against everything he had ever believed in.
The guard shivered as he thought about his daughter. How he would feel if someone had treated her like he had treated Jared today. He would have killed them.
"Knock some sense into him." Micha said and pointed at the unconscious Jared. Valentino laughed nervously and shook his head. "That's wrong. He's not even awake."
"I don't care. Just do it." she continued and sounded very annoyed. Valentino felt cold inside. He couldn't just punch someone who was lying down - and also unconcious. "I'm not getting paid to hurt innocent people. My job is to protect. Not attack." the enormous man yapped and crossed his muscular arms over his chest. Micha fired off an evil grin. "I have contacts. I can get you fired in no time. If I say that you refused to do your job, who will they believe? Me or you?" she stated in victory.
Valentino stepped towards the bunk and laid one of his hand on Jared's shoulder. The singer's breathing accelerated for a brief moment. The guard swallowed his tears and opened and closed his other hand slowly. "Hurry up." Micha commanded.
He lifted his hand and cursed as he then let it collide with Jared's nose. Which cracked. Blood splashed and stained Valentino's hands and arms. "I'm so sorry." he murmured again before he landed another punch on the same spot as before.
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