FicWad

I woke up, my eyes managed to open up slowly, my head felt as if there was a huge drum booming in it, I groaned as the light beamed threw the window and directly into my eyes, I closed my eyes, trying to recover from the sudden feeling of the light blinding me. I opened my eyes again and looked around slowly…
Hotel room… lying on a bed… naked… Bert next to me on the bed… also naked…
What the hell happen? I sat up, rubbing my eyes and looking at the body next to me, sleeping happily, his mouth open slightly snoring peacefully, his body tangled in the bed sheets, just covering his lower half and that’s it, the dry cum over his stomach. I felt as if I was going to be sick, sick that I had cheated, I had cheated on Frank. I felt dirty and disgusted with myself.
I suddenly felt that same feeling in the pit of my stomach, I ran to the bathroom, emptying my stomach into the toilet, the burning sensation that seemed to burn my throat and I threw up I groaned hating the feeling of the buzzing in my head that seemed to boom loudly, and the feeling in my stomach that felt as if it was at sea crashing around the waves from side to side, I flushed the toilet, the sound of the water swirling around seemed to swirl around in my head making me groan out. I got up from the cold tiled floor, looking in the large bathroom mirror; my face looked horrible as if I hadn’t had sleep in days, my eyes were red, my eyes were bloodshot, my hair was a mess, my stomach was covered in dry cum. I grabbed a cloth, soaked it in hot soapy water and then scrubbed it off, trying to wash away the guilt from my body, just wanting it to wash away this easily but it was still buzzing in my head, just thinking about Frank, should I tell him? Should I keep it a secret? Oh fuck what have I done?
I heard a groan coming from the bedroom. I sighed as I walked back into the bedroom, going over to the pile of disregarded clothing and pulling out my own cloths from Bert’s. I sat on the end of the bed as I slipped my boxers back on, I felt the bed move, I didn’t take any notice of Bert’s movements, I wanted to get out of here as soon as possible, like a murder fleeing from the crime scene.

“What the fuck happened?” I heard Bert’s voice groan from behind me. I couldn’t look still, I didn’t want to face what I had done. I carried on putting my shirt on that half the buttons were ripped off from last night’s mistake.

“Bert, this shouldn’t have happened,” I said in a clear but harass tone, wanting to make myself clear. He stood up and pulled on his boxers sitting next to me, making me want to run away as quick as possible. But I had to face the music at some point.

“I’m guessing we fucked?” he asked rubbing his hand across his face, trying to wake up from his drunken sleeping slumber. His eyeliner was smudge across around his eyes, his hair was a mess, well more than usual, his eyes were red too from the lack of sleep last night.
“Yes we did and it was a mistake,” I said putting my shoes back on, tying up the laces with anger as I yanked the laces, just wanting to get out now.

“Why?” he asked looking over at me with confusion, as if he forgot that I was married.

“I’m married Bert, I love my husband, we were drunk and being stupid,” I answered, then letting Frank slipping back into my mind, thinking about his reaction if he found out, he would be heartbroken, he had been faithful and stuck by my side as I was trying to get threw depression, he was there as my lover, friend, supporter, soul mate, and now I crushed it, threw it all away, but I wanted it back, I threw it all away for lust. How could I be so stupid?

“It was just a bit of fun, Frank doesn’t need to know, it can be our little secret, we could always make it a regular secret,” he said as he shuffled closer to me, his arm wrapping around my waist as his lips went to kissing my neck softly. I wasn’t going to fall for it again, I pulled away letting him look at me with confusion.
“No Bert, I love Frank, I don’t want to cheat on him,” I said looking shocked at what he had proposed for us.

“But you already have,” he said with a smug smirk on his face, I felt my heart racing as the words ran through my head, I quickly left his room and went down the corridor to mine. Feeling my heart beating pick up it speed, pumping the blood more quicker around my veins, as I started to panic about Frank. I got into my room, quickly pulling on a new t-shirt and throwing away the old one, I put all my stuff into my travel bag, just wanting to get home now and talk to Frank, I wanted to get it out in the open, I hated feeling as if it was killing me inside. I needed to tell him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I stood outside my house, the crisp morning spring air that filled my lungs as I felt nerves taking over me as I felt that in only a few minutes I would be facing Frank. I sighed as I walked up to the front door, I got out my keys, looking down to get the right key suddenly the front door swung open and there stood a beaming Frank, his cheeky little smile and his eyes gleaming with joy.

“Gee!” he beamed as he pounced on me, making me struggle to hold him and my bag but I put my hands underneath his legs and held him against me. His hands held on to the back of my neck, his fingertips gently tangling into my raven black hair. His head snuggled into the crook of my neck, inhaling the my scent, I felt as if I would end up crying, just being around him and his adorable little ways makes it harder for me. I carried him into the house, shutting the front door with a loud bang as I carried him into the living room, he had the T.V. on playing some rock channel that was booming out Green day. I put Frank down on the sofa, his hands slowly leaving my neck as he sat on the black leather sofa. I grabbed the black remote from the coffee table that sat in the middle of the room and switched it off.

“I was watching that,” he whined with a little pout and crossing his arms like a little kid that wasn’t getting its own way. I sat down next to him on the sofa, gently moving his fringe out of his beautiful face, wanting to see all of him, seeing him in all is beauty. Suddenly I was pushed down on the sofa; Frank was onto of me, straddling my waist, his hand resting on my chest to hold himself up. I wanted to tell him now, but he was making it harder for me to even come out with it.

“I’ve missed you,” he said half smiling, I knew that he had missed me, the many times I would find myself daydreaming over his picture on my phone, I would just look at it, his cute little smile with the lip ring threaded threw his bottom lip, his small nose with the nose ring, his beautiful brightly shining hazel eyes that had so much character and cheeky ways to them that I could get lost in for hours, I could never get enough of him.

“I’ve missed you too,” I said, stroking his hair out of his face, wanting to see all of him, his fringe always seemed to drop into his face, covering him, a shell around his face to protect himself, a curtain to hide himself, but I didn’t want him to hide himself from me.
Suddenly he started grinding against me, rotating his hips against mine, making me moan and arch into him, loving the feeling of his crotch rubbing against mine, but I couldn’t let him carry on, I grabbed hold of his hips, stopping from all movements, making him groan in frustration. I didn’t want to stop, god if I didn’t have something bugging me at the back of my mind, if I hadn’t done what I had done then I would want it as much as he did but I had that little voice inside my head that only seemed to get louder and louder every little second.

“Why did you stop?” he asked, frowning a little as he looked down with a puzzled face, I could see in his eyes he wanted this, he wanted us to have sex, I felt so connected with Frank when we made love, I felt my heart swell at the feeling of giving him pleasure, I wanted to give him pleasure now, but I couldn’t.

“I need to talk to you,” I answered, looking directly into his eyes.

“Talk later, Gerard we haven’t had sex in four days, we use to have it all the time, now you’re at work or tiered… please baby,” he pleaded, it was all true, I seemed to always be at work or whenever he suggested sex I would usually just be too tiered for it from the long hours at work, I felt a let down for my own husband.

“I need to talk to you now, please Frank,” I said. He nodded, getting off me and sitting down on the sofa, I got up from my lying position and sat next to him, I notice a tear rolling down his olive skin, I quickly placed my hand on his warm cheek, stroking his cheek.

“What’s wrong Frankie?” I asked, wiping his tear away but there was still more forming in his eyes, the tears gathering in his eyes as they realised and ran down his cheek.

“You don’t want me anymore do you?” he asked, the tears coming down more as he started to threat about me not wanting him as my lover, my husband, my best friend, my soul mate.

“No Frankie, of course not, but I need to tell you something…” I said.

“What is it?” he asked, I took hold of his hand, wanting to just hold him, to feel close to him, just to have something of him.

“You know I love you with all my heart,” I said.

“And I love you with all mine,” he said squeezing my hand gently to show some affection feeling while I talked, like he was urging me to go on.

“I’m so sorry Frank… it just happened, I was drunk and it…” I said, feeling as if I could say the phrase “I cheated on you” anywhere in my brain, I couldn’t let the words out, just hoping all of it was a dream instead, that I hadn’t cheated, that I would wait up in a panic in Frank’s arms, to have him cooing in my ear telling me it was okay, that it was just a dream.

“What are you trying to say Gerard?” he asked, looking at me as worried filled his eyes, I think he knew already what I was trying to say but he wanted to be sure of it.

“I…I slept with someone,” I choked out, feeling as if my whole life was gone now, I let one night make it slip through my fingers.

“What?” he asked, he pulled away from me, his hands left mine, making me feel empty as he stood up and looked down at me, his eyes full of hurt and pain as they welled up even more.

“Frankie I’m sorry, we were drunk and it just happened,” I said trying to get a hold of his hand but he snatched it away from me, I could see the anger whirling around in his eyes.

“Don’t call me Frankie that was the nickname for when my husband wasn’t a cheating bastard!” he yelled at me the tears running down his face more violently, it felt like a dagger going through my heart seeing how much I had hurt him, to see the hurt spilling out of him.

“Please Frank I didn’t mean it, it was nothing, I swear,” I pleaded.

“No! I don’t want your shitty apologises, I can’t believe you could do that Gerard, I thought you loved me, I trusted you and you threw it away,” he snapped.

“I do Frank, I love you with all my heart, I think about you all the time, you don’t know how bad I feel about what I did,” I said, trying to get eye contact with him, hoping that looking into his eyes he will see all the love that I have for him, but he didn’t look at me.

“Just get out and leave me alone,” Frank said, wiping away his tears with the sleeve of his Iron maiden hoodie, letting the tears collect in the material soaking in the sadness that trickled from his eyes, every tear made my heart feel like it was being pulled apart.

“Please Frank,” I pleaded, seeing him crying and hurt I just wanted to wrap my arms around him and make him better like I always did when he was upset, I would bring him into my arms, wrap around him and coo softly into his ear that everything was going to be okay and that I loved him but all I wanted to say was I was sorry, beg for his forgiveness, tell him that I love him so much, that I never want anyone else, just him. He didn’t look at me, I his lip trembled as he cried more; he tried to hide his tears by letting his fringe fall back on his face as if it was a curtain to cover up his emotions.
I got up and when to the bedroom, feeling my eyes well up, I got out my bag, playing the black bag on the silky black covers of the master bed, the times I would be sleeping there with Frank, waking up in his arms or him in mine, or when we would make love on that bed, I wanted it all back, I didn’t want anything else, but I knew I had hurt Frank, betraying him and his trust in me…I started to fill the with my clothing, not caring if they were folded and neat, I just stuffed them in, I went over to the draws, pulling out most of my t-shirts, then looking up to see the picture of me and Frank, the thin gold simple frame that held the picture of me and Frank on our trip to London, Both of us cuddling together, Frank’s cheeky little smile that seemed to be the eye catcher of the camera as I kissed his cheek, as I had both my arms wrapped around his slender waist and he had his around my shoulder, it was to celebrate a year of marriage, we still acted like love sick teenagers, kissing all the time, holding hands when walking with a smile on our faces, not carrying about the homophobic idiots who seemed to find it highly amusing to shout abusive comments at us but we still didn’t care, well I could if they said anything about Frank, but he would always pull me back, bringing me into a kiss to make my anger flush away. I felt a warm tear roll down my face, I felt my heart spilt in two. I picked up the picture, playing it gently on my clothing before zipping up my bag and carrying it out to the living room where I was greeted by Mama, who cheerfully ran up to me, her tail wagging mad, her tongue hanging out, her eyes gleaming with joy to see her other master. I stroked her head gently, when I heard Frank walk in and then stop, I looked up at him, he still had tears in his eyes, his cheeks red from the constant wiping away of tears.

“Just go Gerard,” he choked out, hearing the brokenness in his voice, I sighed, looking down at the ground before leaving slowly, it felt as if the steps echoed as I walked away from Frank, away from my life.
A/N: Please comment guys!