FicWad

The rain seemed to top it all off, as it rapidly came down, hit out a beat of my window as I drove, the rain was just like my tears, my tears were coming down faster as I drove along, all I could see, all I could think about was Frank. I didn’t want him to do something stupid, he had self-harmed and drank as a teenager to overcome his anger and depression. I didn’t want him to fall back into that again, I couldn’t live with myself if Frank had done something to himself because of me. I pulled up outside the familiar house that I knew too well, sighing as I ran my fingers threw my hair, I listened to the battering sound of the rain against the glass, I got out, grabbing the bag and carrying over to the house, my clothes suddenly feeling like a weight from the water soaking them, letting the cold ice water drip from me, letting it hit my face. I knocked on the door, hearing the noise of the T.V. from the living room, the door finally opened up.
“Gerard! Why are you in the rain you silly boy, come in now,” my mom said, moving out the way so I could come in. the heat seemed to welcome my body as the oh so familiar things came flooding back to my memory, the mouth watering smell of my mom’s cooking, the T.V playing some cartoon as Mikey’s eyes were fixed to the screen while my dad was reading a book.
“What are you doing here Gerard? Not that I’m not happy to see you but shouldn’t you be at home with Frank?” my mom asked.
“Something happened, can I stay here?” I asked, keeping my eyes locked to the floor.
“Of course you can sweetie, you know you’re always welcome here, but what happened? Did you two fall out?” Mom asked.
“I guess…” I answered my eyes locked to the floor, trying to make no eye contact.
“Tell me what happened sweetie,” mom said.
“I-I slept with someone,” I choked out, feeling the tears well up in my eyes again, the night reliving in my mind, remembering the morning when I woke up seeing Bert lying next to me.
“You slept with someone?” Mikey asked, his eyes finally leaving the T.V. screen, I knew Mikey was close to Frank, they were best friends in high school, that’s how I met Frank, I always thanked Mikey for bringing my true love to me.
I nodded slowly, wanting to just run away and cry, wanting to punch something, to feel pain get drunk to forget and feel good for just a little bit of time, get ran over to stop my heart from beating just anything to stop the pain inside of me that seemed to grow each minute as it started off in my chest, making me feel like I couldn’t breathe, as if I should stop breathing.
“Gerard you fucking idiot,” Mikey said as he stood up, he would be angry, I would be angry with me if I was Mikey, I had just broken my Frank’s heart, Frank would never do this, he wasn’t like this, he was always supportive, I trusted him, with every bone in my body I trusted him.
“Mikey, I will not have you say that to your own brother,” mom said, I knew my mom probably thought I was a prick for doing it too but she always listened to both sides of the story before making any judgement.
“Why Gerard? Frank loves you so fringing much, he talks about you nonstop, when your away he will phone and talk to me about you, he is like a love sick teenager around you and you just go off and sleep with someone else,” Mikey said with angry in his voice, I could feel the tears welling up in my sore eyes from the non stop crying, the view in front of me was becoming burred every second.
“We were drunk! I didn’t know what the hell I was doing, I woke up and realised what happened!” I yelled as the tears came down from my eyes, not caring if anyone saw my weak side, my mom pulling me in, holding me close as I crumbled into her arms, thinking about what Mikey just said, I knew he loved me but I loved his so much, I needed him but all I could do was cry and think about him.
“Have you told him?” Mikey asked, a much more calmer tone in his voice.
“Yes,” I murmured against my mom’s shoulder, she didn’t mind me crying into her shoulder I had done it so many times before, I cried when I was a kid, when I got picked on, when I was heartbroken with my first crush who wasn’t gay, he was the complete opposite, he ended up getting a few of his friends to try and beat the gay side out of me. She was the best mom, she comforted me, she was always there for me, even if I did bad she was there at my side supporting me.
“What did he say?” Mom asked.
“He told me to get out, that he thought I loved him but he was wrong but I love him so fringing much, it hurts,” I cried, letting my tears flow out more as my mom comforted me.
“I know you love him, I can see it,” mom said, her hand rubbing gently on my back, the cold wet material seemed to stick to my skin making it feel damp against my skin but I didn’t care, all I cared about was Frank.
“Gerard do you want me to go and see him?” Mikey asked, I nodded, wiping my eyes and looking at him, he was a good brother, I loved him, he was like a best friend and a brother, I wanted Mikey to see if he was okay, to talk to him about it, I the best I could ever wish for, he nodded and grabbed his coat and slipping his shoes on, leaving the house to go and see Frank.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mikey’s P.O.V
I got into my old car, seriously it was falling to pieces, but it got me from a to b easily enough. I started turned the key a few times, the engine usually started after the third turn, I guess I learnt how my baby works, even though I could have brought a new one I just felt more comfortable with my car.
I drove down to Frank’s place, why did Gerard do it? I mean he was drunk but really why did he even get drunk with this guy? He could have said no, but now he has ruined his relationship with his husband for a stupid drunken night. I sighed; dragging my fingertips threw my hair as I drove down the road, the rain hitting hard against the car as I made my way to Frank’s.
When I pulled up at Frank’s, the rain seemed to slow down, I got out and walked up to the door, ringing the doorbell as I stood waiting.
“Gerard just go away,” Frank’s voice came from the other side of the wooden door, I could tell by his timid voice that he was crying, it sounded broken and hurt.
“Frank, it’s me Mikey, please let me in,” I said in a soft voice even though in some way I was still angry that Gerard could cheat on Frank, he was so much in love with Gerard, he would talk about him all the time, the regular conversations about him, the sorrowful texts that made it more painful for him when Gerard would say he was going to be late home or he wasn’t going to be home till the next day, he would light up with a sweet smile when he came home, hearing the keys being rattled against the door as Gerard came in from a long business trip, he would phone me to just get some sort of comfort when Gerard was away on a business meeting, or I would come over and keep him company, but Gerard is my brother, he cheated but he was drunk, I could tell he regretted it and that he loved Frank so much, I could see that too in Gerard, the way he would look at Frank, talk about him, it was so obvious.
The door creaked open, seeing Frank’s sobbing red eyes, the hazel poking out from the redness, his cheeks a sore looking red from when he would rub the tears, his bottom lip trembling.
“Let me in Frankie,” I said, he nodded slowly opening the door and letting me in, I walked into the house, the loving greeting from Mama as I took only a few steps into the house, hearing her nails clatter against the wooden flooring, her tail wagging, her eyes shining brightly with joy and happiness that a dog could have, not knowing that her master had been just emotionally broken with the news from Gerard, only doing what a dog could do and to try and comfort, her tongue slightly sticking out, I stroked her soft coat gently, her head meeting my touch as her eyes closes in satisfactory.
“I’m guessing you know,” he croaked out, shutting the front door and then walking into the living room and sitting on the sofa, bringing his legs up, wrapping his arms around his legs to hold himself close, as if he was comforting himself.
“Yes, but I’m not on anyone’s side, I came to see my best friend,” I said getting up from my crouching position and walking into the living room and sitting next to him.
“Why did he do it?” he asked, his voice breaking as more tears slowly crept down his already red cheeks, Gerard has done damage, Frank had been there for him all the way, he was there when he was depressed, he was there when he was getting off drugs, when he got his job, he was there always for him, even when he was on the other end of the phone telling Frank that his plane was delayed, he of course was unhappy about it but didn’t show Gerard, he never did, he just supported him, he loved him, he was like a love sick teen for Gerard, they both were, but it’s all gone to pieces.
“I don’t know Frank, I really don’t know, he said he was drunk and stuff but I really don’t know,” I sighed, not able to answer a question that should be directed to Gerard instead of his brother.
“Doesn’t he love me?” he asked, his voice becoming more and more painful with each word that he would say as a tear would slip from his sore watering eyes.
“Of course he does Frank, he loves you to bits, when he came home he just cried saying how much he loves you, he wishes he never done it, I know he has but Frank don’t ever think he doesn’t love you, he does, everyone can see it, he is like a love sick teen for you, and you are for him,” I answered, resting my hand on his arm for comfort.
“I do love him, but it hurts,” he said, that made him crack, he busted out into tears, I quickly wrapped my arms around him, pulling him closer to me, trying to comfort him.
“I love him,” he cried into my chest, feeling the warm tears soak into my t-shirt, but I didn’t care, I just held him close.
“Frankie, calm down, shh…” I cooed into his ear, rocking him back and forth in my arms as he cried, he cried for a good ten minutes before his tears slowed down, he wiped away the remains of tears that hadn’t left his face, sniffing slightly as his hazel puffy eyes looked up at me, gleaming with upset and pain.
“How is he?” he asked, his voice quiet and broken still, he was broken and he still cared about Gerard, even though he did this.
“He was crying as soon as he got in, telling us what happened and that he loves you,” I answered.
“Did he tell you who it was?” he asked, sniffing slightly.
“No, he didn’t,” I answered; really I didn’t want to know, what if it was someone I knew? I would feel even more worse that it was someone I knew. I don’t think I could ever face them again knowing that they had been part of breaking up a marriage.
“Why don’t you get some rest?” I asked, thinking that sleep was the best thing for him now. I hated seeing my best friend crying, even over my own brother. He nodded slowly, getting up from the sofa and walking over to the stairs.
“Where are you going to go?” he asked as he turned back to me his hand on the banister, his face seemed to be more redder from him using his sleeve of his hoodie to wipe his tears away.
“I’m going home, I should talk to Gerard too,” I said. He nodded in agreement, attempting a weak half smile and walking up the stairs that always seemed to creek with every step that Frank took as it seemed to be the only noise that was echoing through my ear, his whole body disappeared up, I sighed, running my fingers threw my hair, letting the golden locks tangle around my fingers, pulling my hand out of my hair and then letting it fall back on my lap, the sound of it hitting against my jean covered skin. I got up from the comfort of the sofa and walking out of the living room, hearing my shoes hit against the wooden flooring every time I would take a step, opening the front door and leaving the house and back to my car, the rain had stopped thank god, just that damp feeling that you get after it, making it feel dull and grotty, and the smell of wet grass that I loved. I got into my car, starting up the engine and pulling away, seeing the house slowly shrink into the distance, leaving Frank behind, alone and heartbroken.
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