Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > You're The Only Place That Feels Like Home
Do you ever have that annoying urge in your stomach? An annoying urge that is holding a secret you’re itching to tell, even if it’s not your secret to tell?
I felt this 10x
How I was supposed to tell short ass his crush had a boyfriend already? I didn’t want to carry the burden of letting him know his girlfriend had been around the track a few times. She may be a hollaback girl, wasn’t too sure yet.
“Oh Frankie.” I whispered. He was my best friend after all, it was my duty to protect and tell him when something was wrong. But I didn’t want to crush his efforts in trying to get this girl. That was the downside to having a best friend. You do what you can to make sure they don’t get hurt, even if it means not telling them the truth. Just like everything in my life, I chose to avoid it for now.
It was amazing how you do most of your thinking in the shower. The hot water sugar coats the reality you try so hard to not think about. I could think about ponies running free across the plain, or Zombies being vegetarians, anything I wanted.
However, I couldn’t stand in the shower forever, the hot water had turned somewhat cold and I didn’t want to piss Bob off, since he was supposed to shower next. I sighed and stepped out before wrapping a towel around myself and shaking a little to dry myself off faster. I wiped the fog off the mirror and groomed myself while I realized I had forgotten my clothes.
“Damn it.” I muttered as I also realized I’d have to high tail to my room in a towel without Bob seeing me. It may have not seemed like a big deal, but to me it was a very big deal. I was never that comfortable around guys to be able to walk around in a towel. Not even my first boyfriend, which may have been the reason we broke up in the first place…anyways, lets not take a stroll down memory lane.
I opened the door and clutched my towel for dear life, I barely realized I had collided into someone until I was on my back on the floor with Bob on top of me, both of us looking like deer caught in headlights. Oh God.
“Umm…” I said to him as I blush madly while he did the same.
“I uh….” he trailed off.
“How’s it going?” I asked awkwardly as I made sure my towel covered my goods while he shrugged.
“Good, you?”
“Pretty solid.” I nodded as he nodded back.
“Good. Well umm…since we’re here, maybe we should talk about yesterday…” he told me while I shrugged. Couldn’t he have waited until I was fully clothed?
“I just don’t want things to be awkward, I didn’t mean for it to happen…” he told me as I felt my heart feel a little heavy but I wasn’t surprised to hear it.
“Yeah me neither.” I half smiled in attempt to lighten the situation.
“You don’t think I’m a weird person because of my past do you?” I asked carefully as he looked at me funny before shaking his head.
“No I’d never. If you want it to stay between us, then that’s where it fucking stay.” he joked as I couldn’t help but giggle.
“Thanks Bob.” I smiled modestly, thinking maybe I had made the right decision in confiding in Bob.
“So we’re cool?” he asked as I nodded.
“Cool.” I replied softly as he smiled at me.
“Bob?” I asked meekly.
“Yeah?”
“Can you get off me?” I asked him as he looked down before he blushed.
“Oh! Umm…yeah, sorry.” he apologized while I stood up and smiled at him.
“Thanks.” I replied as felt him eyeing me while I stood there awkwardly.
“Well I’m going to get dressed.” I said quickly as he nodded. I dashed my ass into the room and sighed. I began to think my death would literally be from embarrassment, it didn’t get more better than this.
I slipped on dark jeans, a black undershirt with a blue long sleeved shirt. I surprisingly threw out my chucks yesterday night when they had indeed began to smell. I cringed and figured my flats would be better than nothing. Perhaps when I got paid, I could buy a new pair, I doubted it though.
“So…” I said quietly when I walked to the kitchen where Bob was standing eating out of a Cocoa pebbles cereal box. Were men incapable of using forks or spoons? Hell, even a ‘spork’ seemed to capture their interest.
“Me and the guys were planning to hang out later, would you like to join?” I asked softly while he turned to me.
“Oh, I don’t know, I might have to say late at the gig tonight, but maybe.” he nodded as I smiled. He didn’t say no, he didn’t say yes, he said maybe. Even if he didn’t mean the kiss, I still found myself attracted to him. Yes, I said it.
“Well if you want to, the invitation is open, I mean you know to hang out.” I replied tongue tied as he smiled at me.
“Thanks Billie.” he replied sheepishly.
“You’re welcome Bob.” I smiled. “I’ll talk to you later, I’m off.” I sighed as he gave a small wave while I walked out of the apartment with a small smile on my face, it of course dropped when I realized something.
He now knew what I looked like in a towel.
___________
It felt strange, odd to have not heard from Frank all day. Partly because I hadn’t initiated any conversation with him. I was afraid I’d have a case of word vomit and spill all my guts to him about my ‘encounter’ last night. Maybe was I just getting a head of myself. Maybe she wasn’t really with that guy. Hope, oh hope, how you fail me so.
Inevitably I was aware I’d have to talk to him sooner or later, but I didn’t have to tell him what I knew right did I? I could just pretend it never happened and hoped for the best. Again with the hope.
Whatever the case, I was happy to have a moment of peace to gather my thoughts together and decided it was best if I just stay silent for a while. Frank didn’t have to know just yet…
I held on to that silence for all I could and it had gotten me through most of the day. As a child, I could remember I always used to be this way. I found comfort in being by myself. Other people just seem to annoy me, and with my parents treating us the way they did, I had lost all means to communicate with other human beings. I didn’t think it mattered much, and it had gotten me this far, so why ruin it?
“Billie Meadows?” I heard some say as I looked up at a man in a gray work suit with a blue plaid tie. His black shoes were shiny as can be and his stature was at least 6ft. His hair was salt and peppered to my disliking.
“Who wants to know?” I asked curiously, not recalling I’ve ever met this man. His kind eyes smiled at me before he stood at the counter.
“I see you still have some spunk in you.” he replied as I looked at him confused. He sensed my confusion before he put me out of my misery, then put me back in it.
“It’s me Billie, Sam Abernathy.” he replied softly as I felt my stomach churn as I narrowed my eyes at him.
“What are you doing here? And how did you find me?” I asked curiously once more.
“We always put tabs on our favorite children, I wanted to see how you were doing, now that you’re on your own. Are things well?” he asked as I scoffed slightly.
“Mr. Abernathy, what do you think?” I retorted as he held his hands up.
“Ms. Meadows, I understand your situation and I know you must still be upset-”
“Upset? Upset?! You lied to me!” I shouted at him as he seemed uneasy at my outburst.
“Billie, we had no choice but to separate you, it’s how the system worked.” he reasoned.
“And you promised me I’d see him again. You said after a year, I would be back with him and guess what I found out after that year? That you sent my brother to a home up the coast, and until I was 18, I had no way of visiting him.” I replied.
“Ms. Meadows-”
“You let so much fucking time go by, that when I was 18, I had no idea where my brother was. I didn’t know if he was still home, you didn’t even allow us to write to each other. You cut off all contact, how was that supposed to help me? You ruined the one relationship I ever had with my family. I’ve done all I can to put it behind me.” I assured him as he nodded and sighed.
“Billie, I know how hard it is, but that’s how the system worked. Your parents were so troubled, we didn’t even think your father would ever be out of prison. Or if your mom was sane to take care of you both. It was a difficult adjustment and we all suffered from it. I would like to let you know I came here to make amends.” he offered as I shifted on my feet.
“It’s a little late that, wouldn’t you say?” I replied softly as he shrugged.
“Ms. Meadows you really haven’t talked to your brother since you were removed from the system?” he asked me as I nodded.
“I didn’t have much of a choice.” I replied.
“I know. But you know there’s still a chance, I am able to track him down if you’d like.” he offered as I half smiled.
So I’ve been told.
“Look Mr. Abernathy, I appreciate you trying to help my situation, but there’s not much you can do. I’m not even sure if I plan to see my brother anytime soon to be honest. I have my own life and that’s the one I need to work on the most. I need to step ahead, not back. I buried my parents in my mind a long time ago. My brother unfortunately had to join them. I’m really sorry, but I think it’s best if you leave.” I told him softly as he looked at me before looking down and nodding.
“I understand Ms. Meadows. I would like you to know I am happy to see you alive and well hopefully. But I would feel much better if you took this.” he replied taking his wallet out and handing me a card.
“Just because your life wasn’t always the greatest, doesn’t mean you let it dictate your future. I want you to keep this if you do decide to find your brother, or if you just want to talk. My office is always open, you know that.” he smiled. “Have a nice day Billie, I hope we keep in touch.” he finished before he left the store in one swift motion, leaving me to collect the scattered fragments of myself.
For what seemed like an eternity, I had stared at that card in my hands. I had half a mind to rip into shreds, but something made me hold on to it. I tucked into my pocket for safe keeping, but not promising I would ever use that number.
My stubbornness had gotten the best of me once again.
I guess I wasn’t really much different from my father.
_______________
(A/N: So I think my muse decided to stop being a bitch and help me out. Moving on, I hope I leave with a few questions running through your mind. Billie is complicated isn’t she? You’ll find out more about everything as I go along. I don’t want to give away too much just yet. I think the next chapter will definitely get you going though. Also, I’m not fully sure if I plan to make this a 30-etc chaptered story, so it might be a little short story, depends how my muse decides to behave. Anyways, thanks for reading and please, please, please review as always. I’m out. Xo)
I felt this 10x
How I was supposed to tell short ass his crush had a boyfriend already? I didn’t want to carry the burden of letting him know his girlfriend had been around the track a few times. She may be a hollaback girl, wasn’t too sure yet.
“Oh Frankie.” I whispered. He was my best friend after all, it was my duty to protect and tell him when something was wrong. But I didn’t want to crush his efforts in trying to get this girl. That was the downside to having a best friend. You do what you can to make sure they don’t get hurt, even if it means not telling them the truth. Just like everything in my life, I chose to avoid it for now.
It was amazing how you do most of your thinking in the shower. The hot water sugar coats the reality you try so hard to not think about. I could think about ponies running free across the plain, or Zombies being vegetarians, anything I wanted.
However, I couldn’t stand in the shower forever, the hot water had turned somewhat cold and I didn’t want to piss Bob off, since he was supposed to shower next. I sighed and stepped out before wrapping a towel around myself and shaking a little to dry myself off faster. I wiped the fog off the mirror and groomed myself while I realized I had forgotten my clothes.
“Damn it.” I muttered as I also realized I’d have to high tail to my room in a towel without Bob seeing me. It may have not seemed like a big deal, but to me it was a very big deal. I was never that comfortable around guys to be able to walk around in a towel. Not even my first boyfriend, which may have been the reason we broke up in the first place…anyways, lets not take a stroll down memory lane.
I opened the door and clutched my towel for dear life, I barely realized I had collided into someone until I was on my back on the floor with Bob on top of me, both of us looking like deer caught in headlights. Oh God.
“Umm…” I said to him as I blush madly while he did the same.
“I uh….” he trailed off.
“How’s it going?” I asked awkwardly as I made sure my towel covered my goods while he shrugged.
“Good, you?”
“Pretty solid.” I nodded as he nodded back.
“Good. Well umm…since we’re here, maybe we should talk about yesterday…” he told me while I shrugged. Couldn’t he have waited until I was fully clothed?
“I just don’t want things to be awkward, I didn’t mean for it to happen…” he told me as I felt my heart feel a little heavy but I wasn’t surprised to hear it.
“Yeah me neither.” I half smiled in attempt to lighten the situation.
“You don’t think I’m a weird person because of my past do you?” I asked carefully as he looked at me funny before shaking his head.
“No I’d never. If you want it to stay between us, then that’s where it fucking stay.” he joked as I couldn’t help but giggle.
“Thanks Bob.” I smiled modestly, thinking maybe I had made the right decision in confiding in Bob.
“So we’re cool?” he asked as I nodded.
“Cool.” I replied softly as he smiled at me.
“Bob?” I asked meekly.
“Yeah?”
“Can you get off me?” I asked him as he looked down before he blushed.
“Oh! Umm…yeah, sorry.” he apologized while I stood up and smiled at him.
“Thanks.” I replied as felt him eyeing me while I stood there awkwardly.
“Well I’m going to get dressed.” I said quickly as he nodded. I dashed my ass into the room and sighed. I began to think my death would literally be from embarrassment, it didn’t get more better than this.
I slipped on dark jeans, a black undershirt with a blue long sleeved shirt. I surprisingly threw out my chucks yesterday night when they had indeed began to smell. I cringed and figured my flats would be better than nothing. Perhaps when I got paid, I could buy a new pair, I doubted it though.
“So…” I said quietly when I walked to the kitchen where Bob was standing eating out of a Cocoa pebbles cereal box. Were men incapable of using forks or spoons? Hell, even a ‘spork’ seemed to capture their interest.
“Me and the guys were planning to hang out later, would you like to join?” I asked softly while he turned to me.
“Oh, I don’t know, I might have to say late at the gig tonight, but maybe.” he nodded as I smiled. He didn’t say no, he didn’t say yes, he said maybe. Even if he didn’t mean the kiss, I still found myself attracted to him. Yes, I said it.
“Well if you want to, the invitation is open, I mean you know to hang out.” I replied tongue tied as he smiled at me.
“Thanks Billie.” he replied sheepishly.
“You’re welcome Bob.” I smiled. “I’ll talk to you later, I’m off.” I sighed as he gave a small wave while I walked out of the apartment with a small smile on my face, it of course dropped when I realized something.
He now knew what I looked like in a towel.
___________
It felt strange, odd to have not heard from Frank all day. Partly because I hadn’t initiated any conversation with him. I was afraid I’d have a case of word vomit and spill all my guts to him about my ‘encounter’ last night. Maybe was I just getting a head of myself. Maybe she wasn’t really with that guy. Hope, oh hope, how you fail me so.
Inevitably I was aware I’d have to talk to him sooner or later, but I didn’t have to tell him what I knew right did I? I could just pretend it never happened and hoped for the best. Again with the hope.
Whatever the case, I was happy to have a moment of peace to gather my thoughts together and decided it was best if I just stay silent for a while. Frank didn’t have to know just yet…
I held on to that silence for all I could and it had gotten me through most of the day. As a child, I could remember I always used to be this way. I found comfort in being by myself. Other people just seem to annoy me, and with my parents treating us the way they did, I had lost all means to communicate with other human beings. I didn’t think it mattered much, and it had gotten me this far, so why ruin it?
“Billie Meadows?” I heard some say as I looked up at a man in a gray work suit with a blue plaid tie. His black shoes were shiny as can be and his stature was at least 6ft. His hair was salt and peppered to my disliking.
“Who wants to know?” I asked curiously, not recalling I’ve ever met this man. His kind eyes smiled at me before he stood at the counter.
“I see you still have some spunk in you.” he replied as I looked at him confused. He sensed my confusion before he put me out of my misery, then put me back in it.
“It’s me Billie, Sam Abernathy.” he replied softly as I felt my stomach churn as I narrowed my eyes at him.
“What are you doing here? And how did you find me?” I asked curiously once more.
“We always put tabs on our favorite children, I wanted to see how you were doing, now that you’re on your own. Are things well?” he asked as I scoffed slightly.
“Mr. Abernathy, what do you think?” I retorted as he held his hands up.
“Ms. Meadows, I understand your situation and I know you must still be upset-”
“Upset? Upset?! You lied to me!” I shouted at him as he seemed uneasy at my outburst.
“Billie, we had no choice but to separate you, it’s how the system worked.” he reasoned.
“And you promised me I’d see him again. You said after a year, I would be back with him and guess what I found out after that year? That you sent my brother to a home up the coast, and until I was 18, I had no way of visiting him.” I replied.
“Ms. Meadows-”
“You let so much fucking time go by, that when I was 18, I had no idea where my brother was. I didn’t know if he was still home, you didn’t even allow us to write to each other. You cut off all contact, how was that supposed to help me? You ruined the one relationship I ever had with my family. I’ve done all I can to put it behind me.” I assured him as he nodded and sighed.
“Billie, I know how hard it is, but that’s how the system worked. Your parents were so troubled, we didn’t even think your father would ever be out of prison. Or if your mom was sane to take care of you both. It was a difficult adjustment and we all suffered from it. I would like to let you know I came here to make amends.” he offered as I shifted on my feet.
“It’s a little late that, wouldn’t you say?” I replied softly as he shrugged.
“Ms. Meadows you really haven’t talked to your brother since you were removed from the system?” he asked me as I nodded.
“I didn’t have much of a choice.” I replied.
“I know. But you know there’s still a chance, I am able to track him down if you’d like.” he offered as I half smiled.
So I’ve been told.
“Look Mr. Abernathy, I appreciate you trying to help my situation, but there’s not much you can do. I’m not even sure if I plan to see my brother anytime soon to be honest. I have my own life and that’s the one I need to work on the most. I need to step ahead, not back. I buried my parents in my mind a long time ago. My brother unfortunately had to join them. I’m really sorry, but I think it’s best if you leave.” I told him softly as he looked at me before looking down and nodding.
“I understand Ms. Meadows. I would like you to know I am happy to see you alive and well hopefully. But I would feel much better if you took this.” he replied taking his wallet out and handing me a card.
“Just because your life wasn’t always the greatest, doesn’t mean you let it dictate your future. I want you to keep this if you do decide to find your brother, or if you just want to talk. My office is always open, you know that.” he smiled. “Have a nice day Billie, I hope we keep in touch.” he finished before he left the store in one swift motion, leaving me to collect the scattered fragments of myself.
For what seemed like an eternity, I had stared at that card in my hands. I had half a mind to rip into shreds, but something made me hold on to it. I tucked into my pocket for safe keeping, but not promising I would ever use that number.
My stubbornness had gotten the best of me once again.
I guess I wasn’t really much different from my father.
_______________
(A/N: So I think my muse decided to stop being a bitch and help me out. Moving on, I hope I leave with a few questions running through your mind. Billie is complicated isn’t she? You’ll find out more about everything as I go along. I don’t want to give away too much just yet. I think the next chapter will definitely get you going though. Also, I’m not fully sure if I plan to make this a 30-etc chaptered story, so it might be a little short story, depends how my muse decides to behave. Anyways, thanks for reading and please, please, please review as always. I’m out. Xo)
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