Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Only Hope
Kendle~
I listened in closely.
The suspense of waiting for a reply, for HIS voice to come through those headphones, was killing my insides. I wondered if my stress was causing discomfort to the baby. I took one deep, stretched out breath. It was very difficult to keep calm on another unfamiliar planet.
At least one reply would calm my head...
It was only Gerard's voice that I wanted to hear.
I pressed one hand to the left side of the headphones, while the other was rubbing my somewhat-rounded stomach.
Worry. So much worry.
"Gerard...? Can you hear me?......." I tried again. Still nothing. But, I couldn't give up. This transmission down to Earth was all I got.
"Is anybody there? This is Kendle....coming in.....anybody?". My hand graced my stomach up and down, up and down. The crackle of static pricked at my ears.
"Everything's gonna be okay, baby," I whispered to my tummy. The temptation to cry rolled in my eyes, but I fought it off tiredly. One more try.
"Kendle...signing out in a few....".
Hopefully that would speed them up. I leaned back in the radio station chair, my eyes wandering around the buttons and devices mixed all over the room. Behind me stood a glass window, where BLI/nd agents would pass through the white hallways.
'Thank god this room is soundproof' my mind said.
"Kendle....Ke--". The awakened crackle stole me from my daze.
"Kendle! Do you cop---copy? K-Kendle!".
It was him. It was definelty Gerard.
"Gerard! Yes, yes! Loud and clear!!" I jumped straight to the end of my chair, a grin bold on my face. The static worked its way out of its cuts, and there was no crackling to be heard.
"Kendle! Ohmygod, guys! She's coming in! Kendle!! Are you okay?!" the relief came through Gerard's voice quickly. I heard the bussling of Meg, Frankie, and Ray in the backround. I could barely make out the sound of....wheels?
"I'm.....not okay. Well, I mean, my body is fine, it's just...ya know....trying to calm down and everything....my mom is just met me here....Hey! Is that Dr.DeathDefying?" I rambled. They were actually talking to me!
"Kendle, let's focus, okay baby? Now, was that a BLI/nd rocket that took you to...your at Mars, right?" Gerard asked.
"Yup and yup! God, it's SO AMAZING to hear your voice again," I choked. It was unbearable without him and everybody else by my side.
"You too, Kendle. We miss you...so much...especially me." Gerard replied. A tear made its way out and onto my cheek.
"Now, I'm gonna hand you over to Dr.D, okay? Everything's going to be fine. Give the baby some love for me, 'kay? I love you." Gerard said.
"I love you, too. Very much." I replied in a sniffle. All of the sudden, I didn't feel so lonely anymore.
"You read me, kid?" Dr.D zipped in.
"Loud and clear, Dr. D," I smiled.
"Good. Alright so, I need your undivided attention. This is my plan for gettin' you back to the zones. Got it?".
"Got it.".
"Sweet. So, hear me out. We would love to come and get you, but that ain't gonna happen. Why? How the heck do you think we're gonna get to Mars without a rocket? I mean, we could wait until another rocket comes, but that could take monthes. Years! And I don't think we want that, do we?".
Dr.D didn't sound so reasurring.
"BUT, there is one way that is guarunteed to get you back in a flash. It requires lots of cooperation and work on your part, 'kay kid? Now I'm gonna lay it out on ya. We're gonna have to have you fly a rocket back to Earth.". A wave of shock rushed through my chest.
"WHAT?!".
"Yeah, I know, it sounds risky. But it's the most reliable one I could come up with. And no, you don't have to do it at this moment, you need to go through with this at any time this month. We don't want you doing any super dangerous tasks while being farther along in your pregnancy.".
"BE SUPER CAREFUL, KEN'!" I heard Gerard poke in in the backround.
"YEAH NO DIEING!" I heard Frankie add. I giggled.
"Okay, okay. But don't you think I should learn how to FLY a rocket before I take it home?" I asked.
"Yeah, there's another thing. You're not really 'taking' it home. You're STEALING it home.".
"WHAT?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I CAN'T DO THAT! I'll be KILLED by Dracs if I get caught, or at least put into jail for life!" I protested instantly.
"Dude, you NEVER talked this over with me! I'm NOT letting you have her do that. It's too dangerous. ESPECIALLY in the stage she's in right now." Gerard yelled in the backround.
"Aw come on, Poison. Would you rather her be back to Earth, or be back at Earth next YEAR? Security is tight, and with Kendle being an ex-Draculoid, she knows her way around things. Besides, isn't she still wearing her Drac outfit to this day?" Dr.D snapped back Gerard.
It was true.
Ever since I reunited with the Killjoys (three monthes ago, actually), I'd been wearing my Draculoid uniform! It was perfect blend-in from Drac-attacks. I wondered why my mom hadn't noticed...maybe the outfit tricked her into thinking I was with the good guys...
And THAT was how I got in the radio station so easily! OOOOOH! My palm slapped my head.
"I knew that.".
"Yeah, DURP, Kendle." Meg chuckled in the backround.
Motivation swifted throughout me. I had to do this. It'll be for the Killjoys back home, and for my unborn baby. Earth was where I belonged.
"I'm in.".
"Great! Like I said, you don't have to go through it right now. Make sure you satisfy your mom, blah blah blah, do whatever you have to do. We'll be waiting," Doctor told me.
"Yeah yeah yeah. Now can I PLEASE talk to Meg?". I sounded like a toddler begging to talk to her mommy.
"Yeah, here she is. Meg? Over here,". Shuffling, crackling, movement of hands.
"He-Hellooo? This is Meeeeg!" an overly-dramatic high voice overcame my headphones.
"Frankie, get off the radio." I rolled my eyes with a grin on my face. It was like I was a mother connecting with her family while on a business trip.
"Yeaah, Frankie, get off the intercom!" Meg's playful kiddie voice yelled at Frankie, and they both giggled.
"Anyways after I was RUDELY INTERRUPTED....Are. You. Okay?".
"Yeah, I'm...okay, Meg. What's up with you and Frankie?".
"MEG IS AMAZING, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!" Frankie yelled.
"MY GOD, FRANKIE LET ME TALK TO MY SISTER!! Ya Freak!!". I broke out into laughter then and there.
"You two are such KIDS! I'm starting to think that I'M actually older than you!".
"Not true! I just have more fun than you do, that's all!".
"Alright, listen sister, I oughta-"
"Yeah yeah yeah. I gotta go. Oh yeah, and Gerard says he loves you and the baby! I second that. Love ya, sis!".
"Love ya, babe! That wasn't for you, Meg. Love ya, too sis! Oh and Frankie and Ray, too. Kendle....out!".
~~
The city was huge. Humoungous. I'm not kidding. Like, EXTREMELY HUGE.
'Welcome To Static City' one building read right in front of me.
'Great.' I thought. 'Yet another city run by BLI/nd.'. Not that I didn't know that, it's just...ya know...reuniting with the whole 'ex-boyfriend' thing.
Ew.
But....flying cars?
HOLY CRAP.
Everything is so...so....2024! It's urban-future! But...it's BLI/nd urban-future.
Once again. Ew.
A tap on the back shocked me out of my gaze.
"You're new here." a slightly-high-pitched man's voice told me.
"How did you know?".
"I know things....". The man stepped into my view. He was slim and stylish, wearing 2012 sunglasses and a sweet version of his own outfit with a 2019 twist. His chessnut brown chair reached down to the middle of his neck. It was tossled, sexy and stylish.
"The name's Brendon." he said cooly, reaching his hand out. I shook it hesitantly.
"Kendle." I replied.
"Kendle...sounds like a guy's name. I like it!" Brendon said, fixing his sunglasses. He dramatically took three steps in front of me, stretching his arms out towards the thriving city.
"THIS, my friend, is Static. City. Or as I like to call it: The New York City of 2019! Ah... I miss those times. Want a tour? I thought so. Follow me.".
"Um...okay?" I hesitantly followed the confident boy.
He shows me Town Square first, and people are staring at us, the place is beautiful, a fountain with odd colored water shooting out, children are playing and laughing around the fountain, throwing coins into the water.
Brendon makes a noise to show he's unappealed, "Seriously, Kendle, what kind of clothes are you wearing?! Come with me, we can get you into something... decent." He takes my hand and tugs me toward tall buildings, and I try to pull away.
"What's wrong with my outfit? It's just fine!" I exclaim and a laugh escapes his throat.
"HA. If you call a ripped up suit covered in blood 'just fine'. Although it does give the people something to look at." He smirks and I notice people pointing at me.
"But--I--Don't--Have--Money--!!!" I growl and he only smiles.
"Do you not know who I am? I, Brendon, am one of the most wealthy men here in Static City. Or as the critics say, 'Young and Fully Loaded'." He winks at me and I avoid his look. "And for the love of God, EAT SOMETHING. We find you something decent, and then you eat, deal? Deal."
He first takes me to a store called 'American Widow', it's REALLY big. And the clothes aren't all from 2019, like, there's one whole section for JUST 2016 clothes, then 2018, ect. It was amazing. But I'm still wondering--why the hell is Brendon bothering helping me? It makes no sense. Then--out of nowhere, Brendon starts throwing clothes at me, "Oh! And this, and this, and... this! You don't have any clothes at home, do you? Either way, prepare to get a whole newe wardrobe, hun." Gerard's just gonna LOVE to hear about this.
Note sarcasm.
That makes me wonder.
Is Gerard, like, the jealous type? --Ponders-- Nah. At least I don't think so.
I walked over to the 2014 clothes and just stood and stared at the clothes, ignoring the fact that Brendon was standing right behind me--something caught my eye.
Leather jacket.
Black.
Tight on the arms.
Clean.
I mean, I remember Gerard wearing it in 2014 with it looking a bit more... dirtier. But this was the leather jacket. HIS leather jacket, and I had to have it. Had to.
"Ho-" My voice chokes at first, "How 'bout this?" I point it out and Brendon smiles.
"Yes! A guy's jacket, that would fit you perfectly--just like your name!" He jokes and I force a weak smile, he picks up the jacket and leads me to more stores.
~~
Towards the end of our 'shopping rampage', I am wearing a blue T-shirt, black skinny jeans, and blue converse, the black leather jacket, and then I don't even want to start to list the OTHER clothes Brendon bought me. Let's just say it cost more than my mom's new car in 2014. Mindblowing, I know. He then drags me to a fast-food resturant, I didn't order much, just a cheesburger and some fries, Brendon shot me a look and ordered more food--"You'll thank me later."
I force another smile, "Right. Because Master Brendon knows EVERYTHING." I say sarcastically and wink.
We sit at an empty table in the back and he eyes me, "So," He starts, "Whats... Earth like? Were you the only one alive?"
I'm silent for a few seconds, not really wanting to lie to him, but it'd give the Killjoys away, our secret, "...Yeah. Just me." I have to blink to hide the fact that I want to start crying, "It's..." I was about to say 'Dead'. Dry. Humid. A Graveyard. But suddenly they appeared. Their faces. Gerard's mostly, and it triggered a tear that I suddenly covered up with my hair, "...beautiful." It may not be beautiful to him, but as long as Gerard and my family was there, it's the most beautiful place I can ever imagine. "It's a desert now, though, and the highlight of it is when the sun is setting, when the color is washed across the clear skies... There's no methane, either, it's just... pure." Except for BLI/nd. That's right!
I motioned for him to lean closer to me, "Brendon, I need to ask you something," I lowered my voice, eyes darting about the room to make sure no one is listening, "is... BLI/nd around anymore? Are they watching?" He blinks once. Twice.
Normally in a moment like this the person would burst out laughing and call me insane, saying, "What the hell is BLI/nd?" but Brendon looks concerned, not knowing what BLI/nd is, but knowing that it had something to do with Earth. And that it was bad. "...Who's BLI/nd?" He asks, glancing around the room like I had.
I couldn't tell him. No, it was dangerous, more than dangerous--forbidden. Then again, Static City WASN'T run by BLI, so what's there to be afraid of? The police? As IF. I could kick their asses with one hand behind my back, that's a promise. And--maybe Brendon could help us? Okay. I'll tell him about BLI, but NOT the KillJoys. Never the KillJoys. Never.
So I take him back to the house, Mom's out, we drop all the new clothes in my room and I lock the doors, taking him into the attic I conveniently just discovers and we sat there in candle light. It was silent for about five minutes as I tried to decide where to start.
"BLI/nd was Earth's 2014's Goverment. And they run Earth, controling those who survived with drugs, cutting away their hummanity one by one until they're nothing but messed up zombies. So down there on Earth, there's a whole army of drugged, smiley crackheads that can't think right. They're harmless, of course, but there's another army--Draculoids, they work for Korse, the guy who drugs everyone."
"How do you know it's Korse?"
"...Because I was a Drac once, ya know that white suit? Part of the Drac uniform."
"If everyone was controlled, then who was there to kill? Noting that you were covered in blood."
"The Ki--" I clamped a hand over my mouth, I almost gave it away, omigod I almost betrayed them! "I think you better go now." I said instantly, shooting him an apologetic look before mouthing, 'I'm sorry.'
He nods his head understandingly, a bit concerned before handing me a piece of paper, "It's my number, call me up if you need anything." He says and leaves, I fall to my knees sobbing. I wish Gerard was here. But he isn't.
~~TWO WEEKS LATER~~
"There's nothing on TV!" Brendon whines, he's sprawled across the couch like a lazy teenager, his hair is messier than it usually is as he looks through the channels desprately.
"What do you want me to do about it, huh?" I put my hands on my hips, wishing he'd actually do something instead of lying around all day.
"Get a better TV, dammit! This thing only has six hundred channels--most of which are blocked!"
"Well if you have a problem with my TV then why don't you just go back to your fancy-shmancy mansion! Or at least do something productive, Brendon!" Yes, I sounded like his mother, and yes, I DID just take the remote from him and turned off the TV.
"Heyy!! I was WATCHING THAT!" He growls and I face palm, jumping once static comes from the radio, "Ken-Kendle--?" Gerard's voice sounds through out the room.
"SHIT." I squeak and turn off the radio, as much as I'd LOVE to talk to him right now, I can't, not with Brendon staring at me and wondering why I just freaked over a radio wave. And yes, I dead steal some equipment from the radio room so I can talk to Gerard whenever I please.
"Who was that?" He asks me, raising an eye brow.
"N-nooo onnneee." I chime, standing in front of the radio.
He gets off the couch.
Oh. Shit.
"Tell me." He says, a smirk growing on his face as we stand nose-to-nose.
"I-I don't know. Hey, what about that TV? I can unblock a few channels for yo--" Next thing ya know, he's carrying me with the radi and the microphone thingie.
"BRENDON LET ME DOWN RIGHT NOW AND GIVE ME MY RADIO BACK!!!! NOW!!!!" I scream in his ear, obviously overreacting.
"DAMN! Don't scream in my ear, girl! I just wanna peek around and see what the hell that radio wave was." He sets me down and I pounce on him.
Oh.
Yeah.
Did I ever mention
That Brendon's gay?
No?
Well now ya know.
I try and grab at the radio as Brendon turns it on. "BRENDON! DON'T!!--"
"Kendle? You there? Whe--when are yo--you comming ba--back to Earth--? M--Meg won--won't sto--stop talking abbout you!!"
Brendon turns the radio off. He sits on the ground with a blank stare.
"You lied to me." Is all he says, he doesn't look at me. And I suddenly regret everything. Comming to Mars. Being kind. Not putting up a fight. Brendon. I regret telling Brendon.
Brendon has a big problem with lying. Like, I'm pretty sure there's some past behind it, but I don't ask. I would like to help, but, honestly? I suck at giving advice, and I can't stand sob stories. I do care about Brendon, though, I just... can't do it. I can't offer, promise to help him, when he tells me what's wrong to help him. Because all I'm going to fo is disappoint him. I can't.
"I... Brendon, I can explain--"
"How do I know you're not going to lie to me?"
"No--Brendon, I swear to God, I swear I'll tell you everything--anything you want to know." I beg him, "I'll tell you about my sister, about Gerard and Frank, I'll tell you about Ray and the murders I've witnessed--just please don't be angry!"
He shakes his head, betrayal dancing across his beautiful stained face. "No. I'm sorry, Kendle, but I have to go."
~~
It ended there. My happiness on Mars. Brendon left. I called him. No answer. I looked for him. He was no where. I asked people about him.
"How would I know where that freak is?"
I learned a bit more about Brendon then, turns out he was the biggest outcast there was; just because he was gay. Static City? Total homophobes. I mean, how many times does Frankie need to sream, "HOMOPHOBIA IS GAY"? I mean, first Earth is overcome the symptom, and now there's Mars to cure, too? Screw it. I hate Mars. I don't need it. Or Brendon. I can't waste my time on this shit when I've got a mission--get. Back. To. EARTH.
ONE MONTH LATER--
It's harder than you think, planning on stealing a ship, but hey, at least I figured a few things out while proccessing the progress: Mars isn't run by BLI/nd. But a very similar goverment. KYS/nc. It's really stupid, like, not original for the 2019 era. Keeping You Safe Inc. It's not as bad, though, I mean, at least they don't drug people. And their security isn't too high, either. But they're also connected to BLI.
"Gerard?" I say into the speaker, whenever I start to think about Brendon, I call up Gerard so I can block all thoughts out.
"Yeah, Ken'?" His voice sounds over the radio, I smile at the sound of his voice.
"Gerard, I got something to tell you." I decide I need to tell Gerard about Brendon. Because tears are overflowing right now.
"Sure, Ken, you can tell me anything. Is everything okay?"
"...Well, there's this guy I met here--he's gay--named Brendon, and I'm going to leave back to Earth soon. But I messed up big time. A while back I lied to Brendon about Earth and he hasn't talk to me since. And I don't want to leave without saying something to him." I gush, tears staining my shirt.
It was nice to hear Gerard though, it's always nice to hear Gerard. Because he's someone I can never grow old of.
"...Well, then you'd best go say something to him, Ken, and I'm sure you can fix things because there's no possible way you can mess up that badly." He says, voice supportive but not liking the fact that I had met someone.
More tears splash, and this time they weren't meant for Brendon. "...I love you." I choke out, clutching the speaker as if I could reach Gerard.
"I love you, too, Ken'. I don't think you understand how much I miss you... all I want is for you to be in my arms." I gap, Gerard's never been so honest with his emotions.
"I--I'll contact you when the time comes, until then, wait for me?" I ask, squinting my eyes shut.
"Of course, I'll always be here... Now and forever." He whispers and we hang up--right now, I had to find Brendon. So I'm finally going to try to get into hsi GODDAMNED mansion!
My cheeks turn a vibrant pink.
"Who's that, hun?".
My eyes widen.
CRAP.
"OH! Hey mom!" I attempted at hiding the radio under a pillow, a typical teenager move.
"Now, I saw that, Kendle. Who are ya talking to, hmm?" my mother put her hands on her hips. I sat there, stunned, and empty of any responses.
"I-I-umm...".
"Ke--Kendle?---You there? Kill-Killjoys--signing--ou--out." the radio was loud and clear from under the pillow case, and the radio cut off. Mom stomped right over to my bed, and snatched the radio out of my hands.
"Who exactly are these "Killjoys" its talking about, huh Kendle? Are you hiding something from me?".
This is starting to sound way too much like when I was 15 and I was hiding my candy inside my bedroom......Mom caught me real good that day.
God, what could I do? Moms have an unbelievable way of weaseling their way into things, finding their way around their teenager's lies, and slamming down the truth quicker than anything.
But then again, she IS my mom. If I told her, who was she going to tell? Telling anybody would betray the population back on Earth.
'I'll have to make her SWEAR not to tattle.' I thought. I trusted her. I sighed and began my speech.
"Alright, you have to PROMISE ME, for the love of all humanity back down on Earth, that you won't tell A SINGLE. SOUL. Please, Mom?" I begged.
"I don't like the sound of that, but okay.". She had that look in her eye that convinced me she wouldn't break that promise.
"A Killjoy is...is...." I hesitated.
"Yes, yes?" Mom poked anxiously. Argh. I could've talked to Gerard somewhere more secret at least! I cursed myself for being so naive.
"A Killjoy is...I mean...DAMMIT! Um, so you know how BLI/nd started its rule over Earth in 2011? And how they said they would plan to get us to Mars in about a year?".
"Mhmm.".
"Well there's a majority of BLI/nd still back there. The government still has complete control out of all Zones-".
"Well that's good!" Mom implied.
"Except for one." I finished. A look of confusion swept her face.
"You see, there are some people on Earth (and by some, I mean six people.) that want to choose their own path, to NOT be controlled and destroyed by the government. They chose to live free. They are called the Killjoys. Plus, they've....killed...before. And THAT is why BLI/nd hates them so much. They don't follow by the rules.".
"I'm not sure if I like you talking to them, hun. Why were you doing that anyway, hmm?" she asked in her concerned motherly tone.
"Well, you see Mom...the man I was talking to is my.... boyfriend...". It felt weird saying that. I was having a goddang KID and I wasn't married to the guy. Guess things don't work out that way with the Killjoys.
"A KILLER is your BOYFRIEND?" she drops the radio. I flinched. Here we go.
"He's not necessarily a KILLER, Mom! He only does it when he needs to! Besides, he knows how to treat a woman right. I love what he and the rest of the Killjoys do. It shows independence, ya know?"
"Ok, off topic. He still KILLS PEOPLE, Kendle! Who knows! Maybe he might be planning to, dare I say, kill YOU one day!" her angered raged clearly.
"Oh yeah, SURE! He's definetly going to KILL his PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND."
Uh oh.
I clamped my hand over my mouth.
Mom ain't gonna like that.
"PREGNANT girlfriend?!?!" she exploded. I jumped off the bed, ready to confront Mom. I was the bigger person now.
"YES, Mom! PREGNANT. Four months along actually!" I bragged. Her mouth dropped open in disgust.
"KENDLE RAE HELEN! AT THIS AGE?!" she yelled.
"Well in case you haven't NOTICED, I'm TWENTY ONE YEARS OLD. I'm free to do whatever. I. Want. And YOU can't stop me." I defeated her with pride in my voice. I stormed out my bedroom door and down the stairs.
"KENDLE, YOU LEAVE MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW!" she screamed from behind me.
"WAY AHEAD OF YOU, MOM." I screamed back.
The door slammed behind me as I left.
Like the life of the Killjoys, I was free.
---
"Brendon!" I bang on the door, no answer. "BRENDON OPEN THE GODDAMNED DOOR OR YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO SEE THE LIGHTS OF ME EVER AGAIN, DAMMIT."
Victory.
It's silent for a few seconds until... "I'll be there in a sec."
He opens the door, and I instantly tense, not that I really care (I really do care) that I'm about to leave him forever. His face is stone, cold, no mercy is held in his eyes. I never realized I had hurt him THAT bad.
"Yeah?" He asks, his voice as sharp as a razor.
"...B-brendon. I'm leaving. Back to Earth. And... I just wanted to say sorry. For everything." I stutter, blinking madly to keep tears from splashing onto my desperate face.
"Wait--what?! Kendle, you can't! No, please, please don't leave me!" He takes my hand, tears brimming his eyes from the fear of losing his own friend.
"I--I have to. I've got a whole family down there, the only reason I only came here in the first place is because that stupid spaceship KIDNAPPED me." I say, my voice raised from the stress. "And my Mom, kicked me out, so it's not like I have anywhere to go."
"NO! Kendle, please, you can live with me, and I'll never leave you again, I promise, I SWEAR."
I shake my head, tears drowning my face, "I can't, Brendon, I can't. Gerard is waiting for me. I-I love him, I just can't leave him waiting." I say, tears now falling as a stream of direst.
I can't just leave Brendon. He has no one else out there for him, and.. n-now I'm leaving him. For no goddamned reason. Well, I do have a reason, but I'm just saying that to make myself feel bad. Smart, right?
He gathers me into a tight embrace, and all I can think about is Gerard. Why Gerard? Why not Brendon? NO! Brendon's freaking GAY, you love GERARD. Now GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE BEFORE YOU DO SOMETHING STUPID.
But I don't move, I just stand there and sob into his shoulder, muttering 'I'm sorry' untile my voice cracks. All of this is just to... Legit. Well, of course everything is legit, but now..? It's pretty much throwing itself at me.
"I gotta go, Brendon." I sob, "Ge-Gerard's waiting for me." I pull away from him, though he's not willing to let go.
"Kendle, please, please don't leave me, you-you're the only one I've ever wanted at my side. Please, Kendle please, I'll give you anything, everything. Ju-just please don't leave me!" He's crying now, too. And it makes my legs want to buckle and collapse on the hard ground. But I can't, I gotta stay strong, I gotta get back to Earth, back to Gerard. And Meg. And Frankie. And Ray.
I pull away completely, hidding my tear stricken face and I turn on my heels, getting ready to leave before Brendon makes me face him, his forehead pressed to mine and he whispers, "I love you. Kendle, I really do. I would do anything for you." He looks as if he's about to kiss my lips, but he flinches away and presses his lips to my forehead. "Good-Goodbye." He mumbles into my skin and I nod my head to prevent myself from crying.
I turn. And I walk away. I don't back. I can't risk turing around and choosing Brendon. Because I love Gerard. No matter what. I've always love Gerard. And nothing's ever going to change that.
Brendon~~
The world is ugly.
But your beautiful to me.
Are you thinking of me?
Are you thinking of him?
You can say 'I told you so'
If you wanted me to go
I just wanted you to know
That the world is ugly
But you're beautiful to me
Are you thinking of me?
Can we both be ugly?
We could fight it to the end
I just wanna hold your hand
And you're probably just too good
I just wanted you to know...
( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O14ptSqQCoE )
I listened in closely.
The suspense of waiting for a reply, for HIS voice to come through those headphones, was killing my insides. I wondered if my stress was causing discomfort to the baby. I took one deep, stretched out breath. It was very difficult to keep calm on another unfamiliar planet.
At least one reply would calm my head...
It was only Gerard's voice that I wanted to hear.
I pressed one hand to the left side of the headphones, while the other was rubbing my somewhat-rounded stomach.
Worry. So much worry.
"Gerard...? Can you hear me?......." I tried again. Still nothing. But, I couldn't give up. This transmission down to Earth was all I got.
"Is anybody there? This is Kendle....coming in.....anybody?". My hand graced my stomach up and down, up and down. The crackle of static pricked at my ears.
"Everything's gonna be okay, baby," I whispered to my tummy. The temptation to cry rolled in my eyes, but I fought it off tiredly. One more try.
"Kendle...signing out in a few....".
Hopefully that would speed them up. I leaned back in the radio station chair, my eyes wandering around the buttons and devices mixed all over the room. Behind me stood a glass window, where BLI/nd agents would pass through the white hallways.
'Thank god this room is soundproof' my mind said.
"Kendle....Ke--". The awakened crackle stole me from my daze.
"Kendle! Do you cop---copy? K-Kendle!".
It was him. It was definelty Gerard.
"Gerard! Yes, yes! Loud and clear!!" I jumped straight to the end of my chair, a grin bold on my face. The static worked its way out of its cuts, and there was no crackling to be heard.
"Kendle! Ohmygod, guys! She's coming in! Kendle!! Are you okay?!" the relief came through Gerard's voice quickly. I heard the bussling of Meg, Frankie, and Ray in the backround. I could barely make out the sound of....wheels?
"I'm.....not okay. Well, I mean, my body is fine, it's just...ya know....trying to calm down and everything....my mom is just met me here....Hey! Is that Dr.DeathDefying?" I rambled. They were actually talking to me!
"Kendle, let's focus, okay baby? Now, was that a BLI/nd rocket that took you to...your at Mars, right?" Gerard asked.
"Yup and yup! God, it's SO AMAZING to hear your voice again," I choked. It was unbearable without him and everybody else by my side.
"You too, Kendle. We miss you...so much...especially me." Gerard replied. A tear made its way out and onto my cheek.
"Now, I'm gonna hand you over to Dr.D, okay? Everything's going to be fine. Give the baby some love for me, 'kay? I love you." Gerard said.
"I love you, too. Very much." I replied in a sniffle. All of the sudden, I didn't feel so lonely anymore.
"You read me, kid?" Dr.D zipped in.
"Loud and clear, Dr. D," I smiled.
"Good. Alright so, I need your undivided attention. This is my plan for gettin' you back to the zones. Got it?".
"Got it.".
"Sweet. So, hear me out. We would love to come and get you, but that ain't gonna happen. Why? How the heck do you think we're gonna get to Mars without a rocket? I mean, we could wait until another rocket comes, but that could take monthes. Years! And I don't think we want that, do we?".
Dr.D didn't sound so reasurring.
"BUT, there is one way that is guarunteed to get you back in a flash. It requires lots of cooperation and work on your part, 'kay kid? Now I'm gonna lay it out on ya. We're gonna have to have you fly a rocket back to Earth.". A wave of shock rushed through my chest.
"WHAT?!".
"Yeah, I know, it sounds risky. But it's the most reliable one I could come up with. And no, you don't have to do it at this moment, you need to go through with this at any time this month. We don't want you doing any super dangerous tasks while being farther along in your pregnancy.".
"BE SUPER CAREFUL, KEN'!" I heard Gerard poke in in the backround.
"YEAH NO DIEING!" I heard Frankie add. I giggled.
"Okay, okay. But don't you think I should learn how to FLY a rocket before I take it home?" I asked.
"Yeah, there's another thing. You're not really 'taking' it home. You're STEALING it home.".
"WHAT?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I CAN'T DO THAT! I'll be KILLED by Dracs if I get caught, or at least put into jail for life!" I protested instantly.
"Dude, you NEVER talked this over with me! I'm NOT letting you have her do that. It's too dangerous. ESPECIALLY in the stage she's in right now." Gerard yelled in the backround.
"Aw come on, Poison. Would you rather her be back to Earth, or be back at Earth next YEAR? Security is tight, and with Kendle being an ex-Draculoid, she knows her way around things. Besides, isn't she still wearing her Drac outfit to this day?" Dr.D snapped back Gerard.
It was true.
Ever since I reunited with the Killjoys (three monthes ago, actually), I'd been wearing my Draculoid uniform! It was perfect blend-in from Drac-attacks. I wondered why my mom hadn't noticed...maybe the outfit tricked her into thinking I was with the good guys...
And THAT was how I got in the radio station so easily! OOOOOH! My palm slapped my head.
"I knew that.".
"Yeah, DURP, Kendle." Meg chuckled in the backround.
Motivation swifted throughout me. I had to do this. It'll be for the Killjoys back home, and for my unborn baby. Earth was where I belonged.
"I'm in.".
"Great! Like I said, you don't have to go through it right now. Make sure you satisfy your mom, blah blah blah, do whatever you have to do. We'll be waiting," Doctor told me.
"Yeah yeah yeah. Now can I PLEASE talk to Meg?". I sounded like a toddler begging to talk to her mommy.
"Yeah, here she is. Meg? Over here,". Shuffling, crackling, movement of hands.
"He-Hellooo? This is Meeeeg!" an overly-dramatic high voice overcame my headphones.
"Frankie, get off the radio." I rolled my eyes with a grin on my face. It was like I was a mother connecting with her family while on a business trip.
"Yeaah, Frankie, get off the intercom!" Meg's playful kiddie voice yelled at Frankie, and they both giggled.
"Anyways after I was RUDELY INTERRUPTED....Are. You. Okay?".
"Yeah, I'm...okay, Meg. What's up with you and Frankie?".
"MEG IS AMAZING, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!" Frankie yelled.
"MY GOD, FRANKIE LET ME TALK TO MY SISTER!! Ya Freak!!". I broke out into laughter then and there.
"You two are such KIDS! I'm starting to think that I'M actually older than you!".
"Not true! I just have more fun than you do, that's all!".
"Alright, listen sister, I oughta-"
"Yeah yeah yeah. I gotta go. Oh yeah, and Gerard says he loves you and the baby! I second that. Love ya, sis!".
"Love ya, babe! That wasn't for you, Meg. Love ya, too sis! Oh and Frankie and Ray, too. Kendle....out!".
~~
The city was huge. Humoungous. I'm not kidding. Like, EXTREMELY HUGE.
'Welcome To Static City' one building read right in front of me.
'Great.' I thought. 'Yet another city run by BLI/nd.'. Not that I didn't know that, it's just...ya know...reuniting with the whole 'ex-boyfriend' thing.
Ew.
But....flying cars?
HOLY CRAP.
Everything is so...so....2024! It's urban-future! But...it's BLI/nd urban-future.
Once again. Ew.
A tap on the back shocked me out of my gaze.
"You're new here." a slightly-high-pitched man's voice told me.
"How did you know?".
"I know things....". The man stepped into my view. He was slim and stylish, wearing 2012 sunglasses and a sweet version of his own outfit with a 2019 twist. His chessnut brown chair reached down to the middle of his neck. It was tossled, sexy and stylish.
"The name's Brendon." he said cooly, reaching his hand out. I shook it hesitantly.
"Kendle." I replied.
"Kendle...sounds like a guy's name. I like it!" Brendon said, fixing his sunglasses. He dramatically took three steps in front of me, stretching his arms out towards the thriving city.
"THIS, my friend, is Static. City. Or as I like to call it: The New York City of 2019! Ah... I miss those times. Want a tour? I thought so. Follow me.".
"Um...okay?" I hesitantly followed the confident boy.
He shows me Town Square first, and people are staring at us, the place is beautiful, a fountain with odd colored water shooting out, children are playing and laughing around the fountain, throwing coins into the water.
Brendon makes a noise to show he's unappealed, "Seriously, Kendle, what kind of clothes are you wearing?! Come with me, we can get you into something... decent." He takes my hand and tugs me toward tall buildings, and I try to pull away.
"What's wrong with my outfit? It's just fine!" I exclaim and a laugh escapes his throat.
"HA. If you call a ripped up suit covered in blood 'just fine'. Although it does give the people something to look at." He smirks and I notice people pointing at me.
"But--I--Don't--Have--Money--!!!" I growl and he only smiles.
"Do you not know who I am? I, Brendon, am one of the most wealthy men here in Static City. Or as the critics say, 'Young and Fully Loaded'." He winks at me and I avoid his look. "And for the love of God, EAT SOMETHING. We find you something decent, and then you eat, deal? Deal."
He first takes me to a store called 'American Widow', it's REALLY big. And the clothes aren't all from 2019, like, there's one whole section for JUST 2016 clothes, then 2018, ect. It was amazing. But I'm still wondering--why the hell is Brendon bothering helping me? It makes no sense. Then--out of nowhere, Brendon starts throwing clothes at me, "Oh! And this, and this, and... this! You don't have any clothes at home, do you? Either way, prepare to get a whole newe wardrobe, hun." Gerard's just gonna LOVE to hear about this.
Note sarcasm.
That makes me wonder.
Is Gerard, like, the jealous type? --Ponders-- Nah. At least I don't think so.
I walked over to the 2014 clothes and just stood and stared at the clothes, ignoring the fact that Brendon was standing right behind me--something caught my eye.
Leather jacket.
Black.
Tight on the arms.
Clean.
I mean, I remember Gerard wearing it in 2014 with it looking a bit more... dirtier. But this was the leather jacket. HIS leather jacket, and I had to have it. Had to.
"Ho-" My voice chokes at first, "How 'bout this?" I point it out and Brendon smiles.
"Yes! A guy's jacket, that would fit you perfectly--just like your name!" He jokes and I force a weak smile, he picks up the jacket and leads me to more stores.
~~
Towards the end of our 'shopping rampage', I am wearing a blue T-shirt, black skinny jeans, and blue converse, the black leather jacket, and then I don't even want to start to list the OTHER clothes Brendon bought me. Let's just say it cost more than my mom's new car in 2014. Mindblowing, I know. He then drags me to a fast-food resturant, I didn't order much, just a cheesburger and some fries, Brendon shot me a look and ordered more food--"You'll thank me later."
I force another smile, "Right. Because Master Brendon knows EVERYTHING." I say sarcastically and wink.
We sit at an empty table in the back and he eyes me, "So," He starts, "Whats... Earth like? Were you the only one alive?"
I'm silent for a few seconds, not really wanting to lie to him, but it'd give the Killjoys away, our secret, "...Yeah. Just me." I have to blink to hide the fact that I want to start crying, "It's..." I was about to say 'Dead'. Dry. Humid. A Graveyard. But suddenly they appeared. Their faces. Gerard's mostly, and it triggered a tear that I suddenly covered up with my hair, "...beautiful." It may not be beautiful to him, but as long as Gerard and my family was there, it's the most beautiful place I can ever imagine. "It's a desert now, though, and the highlight of it is when the sun is setting, when the color is washed across the clear skies... There's no methane, either, it's just... pure." Except for BLI/nd. That's right!
I motioned for him to lean closer to me, "Brendon, I need to ask you something," I lowered my voice, eyes darting about the room to make sure no one is listening, "is... BLI/nd around anymore? Are they watching?" He blinks once. Twice.
Normally in a moment like this the person would burst out laughing and call me insane, saying, "What the hell is BLI/nd?" but Brendon looks concerned, not knowing what BLI/nd is, but knowing that it had something to do with Earth. And that it was bad. "...Who's BLI/nd?" He asks, glancing around the room like I had.
I couldn't tell him. No, it was dangerous, more than dangerous--forbidden. Then again, Static City WASN'T run by BLI, so what's there to be afraid of? The police? As IF. I could kick their asses with one hand behind my back, that's a promise. And--maybe Brendon could help us? Okay. I'll tell him about BLI, but NOT the KillJoys. Never the KillJoys. Never.
So I take him back to the house, Mom's out, we drop all the new clothes in my room and I lock the doors, taking him into the attic I conveniently just discovers and we sat there in candle light. It was silent for about five minutes as I tried to decide where to start.
"BLI/nd was Earth's 2014's Goverment. And they run Earth, controling those who survived with drugs, cutting away their hummanity one by one until they're nothing but messed up zombies. So down there on Earth, there's a whole army of drugged, smiley crackheads that can't think right. They're harmless, of course, but there's another army--Draculoids, they work for Korse, the guy who drugs everyone."
"How do you know it's Korse?"
"...Because I was a Drac once, ya know that white suit? Part of the Drac uniform."
"If everyone was controlled, then who was there to kill? Noting that you were covered in blood."
"The Ki--" I clamped a hand over my mouth, I almost gave it away, omigod I almost betrayed them! "I think you better go now." I said instantly, shooting him an apologetic look before mouthing, 'I'm sorry.'
He nods his head understandingly, a bit concerned before handing me a piece of paper, "It's my number, call me up if you need anything." He says and leaves, I fall to my knees sobbing. I wish Gerard was here. But he isn't.
~~TWO WEEKS LATER~~
"There's nothing on TV!" Brendon whines, he's sprawled across the couch like a lazy teenager, his hair is messier than it usually is as he looks through the channels desprately.
"What do you want me to do about it, huh?" I put my hands on my hips, wishing he'd actually do something instead of lying around all day.
"Get a better TV, dammit! This thing only has six hundred channels--most of which are blocked!"
"Well if you have a problem with my TV then why don't you just go back to your fancy-shmancy mansion! Or at least do something productive, Brendon!" Yes, I sounded like his mother, and yes, I DID just take the remote from him and turned off the TV.
"Heyy!! I was WATCHING THAT!" He growls and I face palm, jumping once static comes from the radio, "Ken-Kendle--?" Gerard's voice sounds through out the room.
"SHIT." I squeak and turn off the radio, as much as I'd LOVE to talk to him right now, I can't, not with Brendon staring at me and wondering why I just freaked over a radio wave. And yes, I dead steal some equipment from the radio room so I can talk to Gerard whenever I please.
"Who was that?" He asks me, raising an eye brow.
"N-nooo onnneee." I chime, standing in front of the radio.
He gets off the couch.
Oh. Shit.
"Tell me." He says, a smirk growing on his face as we stand nose-to-nose.
"I-I don't know. Hey, what about that TV? I can unblock a few channels for yo--" Next thing ya know, he's carrying me with the radi and the microphone thingie.
"BRENDON LET ME DOWN RIGHT NOW AND GIVE ME MY RADIO BACK!!!! NOW!!!!" I scream in his ear, obviously overreacting.
"DAMN! Don't scream in my ear, girl! I just wanna peek around and see what the hell that radio wave was." He sets me down and I pounce on him.
Oh.
Yeah.
Did I ever mention
That Brendon's gay?
No?
Well now ya know.
I try and grab at the radio as Brendon turns it on. "BRENDON! DON'T!!--"
"Kendle? You there? Whe--when are yo--you comming ba--back to Earth--? M--Meg won--won't sto--stop talking abbout you!!"
Brendon turns the radio off. He sits on the ground with a blank stare.
"You lied to me." Is all he says, he doesn't look at me. And I suddenly regret everything. Comming to Mars. Being kind. Not putting up a fight. Brendon. I regret telling Brendon.
Brendon has a big problem with lying. Like, I'm pretty sure there's some past behind it, but I don't ask. I would like to help, but, honestly? I suck at giving advice, and I can't stand sob stories. I do care about Brendon, though, I just... can't do it. I can't offer, promise to help him, when he tells me what's wrong to help him. Because all I'm going to fo is disappoint him. I can't.
"I... Brendon, I can explain--"
"How do I know you're not going to lie to me?"
"No--Brendon, I swear to God, I swear I'll tell you everything--anything you want to know." I beg him, "I'll tell you about my sister, about Gerard and Frank, I'll tell you about Ray and the murders I've witnessed--just please don't be angry!"
He shakes his head, betrayal dancing across his beautiful stained face. "No. I'm sorry, Kendle, but I have to go."
~~
It ended there. My happiness on Mars. Brendon left. I called him. No answer. I looked for him. He was no where. I asked people about him.
"How would I know where that freak is?"
I learned a bit more about Brendon then, turns out he was the biggest outcast there was; just because he was gay. Static City? Total homophobes. I mean, how many times does Frankie need to sream, "HOMOPHOBIA IS GAY"? I mean, first Earth is overcome the symptom, and now there's Mars to cure, too? Screw it. I hate Mars. I don't need it. Or Brendon. I can't waste my time on this shit when I've got a mission--get. Back. To. EARTH.
ONE MONTH LATER--
It's harder than you think, planning on stealing a ship, but hey, at least I figured a few things out while proccessing the progress: Mars isn't run by BLI/nd. But a very similar goverment. KYS/nc. It's really stupid, like, not original for the 2019 era. Keeping You Safe Inc. It's not as bad, though, I mean, at least they don't drug people. And their security isn't too high, either. But they're also connected to BLI.
"Gerard?" I say into the speaker, whenever I start to think about Brendon, I call up Gerard so I can block all thoughts out.
"Yeah, Ken'?" His voice sounds over the radio, I smile at the sound of his voice.
"Gerard, I got something to tell you." I decide I need to tell Gerard about Brendon. Because tears are overflowing right now.
"Sure, Ken, you can tell me anything. Is everything okay?"
"...Well, there's this guy I met here--he's gay--named Brendon, and I'm going to leave back to Earth soon. But I messed up big time. A while back I lied to Brendon about Earth and he hasn't talk to me since. And I don't want to leave without saying something to him." I gush, tears staining my shirt.
It was nice to hear Gerard though, it's always nice to hear Gerard. Because he's someone I can never grow old of.
"...Well, then you'd best go say something to him, Ken, and I'm sure you can fix things because there's no possible way you can mess up that badly." He says, voice supportive but not liking the fact that I had met someone.
More tears splash, and this time they weren't meant for Brendon. "...I love you." I choke out, clutching the speaker as if I could reach Gerard.
"I love you, too, Ken'. I don't think you understand how much I miss you... all I want is for you to be in my arms." I gap, Gerard's never been so honest with his emotions.
"I--I'll contact you when the time comes, until then, wait for me?" I ask, squinting my eyes shut.
"Of course, I'll always be here... Now and forever." He whispers and we hang up--right now, I had to find Brendon. So I'm finally going to try to get into hsi GODDAMNED mansion!
My cheeks turn a vibrant pink.
"Who's that, hun?".
My eyes widen.
CRAP.
"OH! Hey mom!" I attempted at hiding the radio under a pillow, a typical teenager move.
"Now, I saw that, Kendle. Who are ya talking to, hmm?" my mother put her hands on her hips. I sat there, stunned, and empty of any responses.
"I-I-umm...".
"Ke--Kendle?---You there? Kill-Killjoys--signing--ou--out." the radio was loud and clear from under the pillow case, and the radio cut off. Mom stomped right over to my bed, and snatched the radio out of my hands.
"Who exactly are these "Killjoys" its talking about, huh Kendle? Are you hiding something from me?".
This is starting to sound way too much like when I was 15 and I was hiding my candy inside my bedroom......Mom caught me real good that day.
God, what could I do? Moms have an unbelievable way of weaseling their way into things, finding their way around their teenager's lies, and slamming down the truth quicker than anything.
But then again, she IS my mom. If I told her, who was she going to tell? Telling anybody would betray the population back on Earth.
'I'll have to make her SWEAR not to tattle.' I thought. I trusted her. I sighed and began my speech.
"Alright, you have to PROMISE ME, for the love of all humanity back down on Earth, that you won't tell A SINGLE. SOUL. Please, Mom?" I begged.
"I don't like the sound of that, but okay.". She had that look in her eye that convinced me she wouldn't break that promise.
"A Killjoy is...is...." I hesitated.
"Yes, yes?" Mom poked anxiously. Argh. I could've talked to Gerard somewhere more secret at least! I cursed myself for being so naive.
"A Killjoy is...I mean...DAMMIT! Um, so you know how BLI/nd started its rule over Earth in 2011? And how they said they would plan to get us to Mars in about a year?".
"Mhmm.".
"Well there's a majority of BLI/nd still back there. The government still has complete control out of all Zones-".
"Well that's good!" Mom implied.
"Except for one." I finished. A look of confusion swept her face.
"You see, there are some people on Earth (and by some, I mean six people.) that want to choose their own path, to NOT be controlled and destroyed by the government. They chose to live free. They are called the Killjoys. Plus, they've....killed...before. And THAT is why BLI/nd hates them so much. They don't follow by the rules.".
"I'm not sure if I like you talking to them, hun. Why were you doing that anyway, hmm?" she asked in her concerned motherly tone.
"Well, you see Mom...the man I was talking to is my.... boyfriend...". It felt weird saying that. I was having a goddang KID and I wasn't married to the guy. Guess things don't work out that way with the Killjoys.
"A KILLER is your BOYFRIEND?" she drops the radio. I flinched. Here we go.
"He's not necessarily a KILLER, Mom! He only does it when he needs to! Besides, he knows how to treat a woman right. I love what he and the rest of the Killjoys do. It shows independence, ya know?"
"Ok, off topic. He still KILLS PEOPLE, Kendle! Who knows! Maybe he might be planning to, dare I say, kill YOU one day!" her angered raged clearly.
"Oh yeah, SURE! He's definetly going to KILL his PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND."
Uh oh.
I clamped my hand over my mouth.
Mom ain't gonna like that.
"PREGNANT girlfriend?!?!" she exploded. I jumped off the bed, ready to confront Mom. I was the bigger person now.
"YES, Mom! PREGNANT. Four months along actually!" I bragged. Her mouth dropped open in disgust.
"KENDLE RAE HELEN! AT THIS AGE?!" she yelled.
"Well in case you haven't NOTICED, I'm TWENTY ONE YEARS OLD. I'm free to do whatever. I. Want. And YOU can't stop me." I defeated her with pride in my voice. I stormed out my bedroom door and down the stairs.
"KENDLE, YOU LEAVE MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW!" she screamed from behind me.
"WAY AHEAD OF YOU, MOM." I screamed back.
The door slammed behind me as I left.
Like the life of the Killjoys, I was free.
---
"Brendon!" I bang on the door, no answer. "BRENDON OPEN THE GODDAMNED DOOR OR YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO SEE THE LIGHTS OF ME EVER AGAIN, DAMMIT."
Victory.
It's silent for a few seconds until... "I'll be there in a sec."
He opens the door, and I instantly tense, not that I really care (I really do care) that I'm about to leave him forever. His face is stone, cold, no mercy is held in his eyes. I never realized I had hurt him THAT bad.
"Yeah?" He asks, his voice as sharp as a razor.
"...B-brendon. I'm leaving. Back to Earth. And... I just wanted to say sorry. For everything." I stutter, blinking madly to keep tears from splashing onto my desperate face.
"Wait--what?! Kendle, you can't! No, please, please don't leave me!" He takes my hand, tears brimming his eyes from the fear of losing his own friend.
"I--I have to. I've got a whole family down there, the only reason I only came here in the first place is because that stupid spaceship KIDNAPPED me." I say, my voice raised from the stress. "And my Mom, kicked me out, so it's not like I have anywhere to go."
"NO! Kendle, please, you can live with me, and I'll never leave you again, I promise, I SWEAR."
I shake my head, tears drowning my face, "I can't, Brendon, I can't. Gerard is waiting for me. I-I love him, I just can't leave him waiting." I say, tears now falling as a stream of direst.
I can't just leave Brendon. He has no one else out there for him, and.. n-now I'm leaving him. For no goddamned reason. Well, I do have a reason, but I'm just saying that to make myself feel bad. Smart, right?
He gathers me into a tight embrace, and all I can think about is Gerard. Why Gerard? Why not Brendon? NO! Brendon's freaking GAY, you love GERARD. Now GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE BEFORE YOU DO SOMETHING STUPID.
But I don't move, I just stand there and sob into his shoulder, muttering 'I'm sorry' untile my voice cracks. All of this is just to... Legit. Well, of course everything is legit, but now..? It's pretty much throwing itself at me.
"I gotta go, Brendon." I sob, "Ge-Gerard's waiting for me." I pull away from him, though he's not willing to let go.
"Kendle, please, please don't leave me, you-you're the only one I've ever wanted at my side. Please, Kendle please, I'll give you anything, everything. Ju-just please don't leave me!" He's crying now, too. And it makes my legs want to buckle and collapse on the hard ground. But I can't, I gotta stay strong, I gotta get back to Earth, back to Gerard. And Meg. And Frankie. And Ray.
I pull away completely, hidding my tear stricken face and I turn on my heels, getting ready to leave before Brendon makes me face him, his forehead pressed to mine and he whispers, "I love you. Kendle, I really do. I would do anything for you." He looks as if he's about to kiss my lips, but he flinches away and presses his lips to my forehead. "Good-Goodbye." He mumbles into my skin and I nod my head to prevent myself from crying.
I turn. And I walk away. I don't back. I can't risk turing around and choosing Brendon. Because I love Gerard. No matter what. I've always love Gerard. And nothing's ever going to change that.
Brendon~~
The world is ugly.
But your beautiful to me.
Are you thinking of me?
Are you thinking of him?
You can say 'I told you so'
If you wanted me to go
I just wanted you to know
That the world is ugly
But you're beautiful to me
Are you thinking of me?
Can we both be ugly?
We could fight it to the end
I just wanna hold your hand
And you're probably just too good
I just wanted you to know...
( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O14ptSqQCoE )
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