FicWad

School was a drag without Mikey, even more so. And I hated it. I hated being forced into the whole high school scene and population. And I hated doing it alone.

Every day, once school was over, I went straight to the Way home and up to Mikey’s room. I went there whenever I got the chance to, which was pretty often.

The guys did indeed loathe me or resent me for the time being because of the gig they missed. But as Frank pointed out, it’d soon fade away. And right now that’s all I wanted. For all of us to be cool again. That, and Mikey’s recovery because he was still sick. I mean, he would get better eventually… right?

“Hey, Mikey,” I said, walking into his room after another too long day of school.
“Hi, Skeye,” he rapsed.
“Still sick, sweetie?” I asked gently, coming to his side.
“Yeah,” he replied, coughing lightly.
I felt his forehead and sighed.
“I think you’re getting worse, Michael.”
I hated to admit it or even tell him that.
“A kiss will make it all better.”

I smiled at his attempt to be subtle for a kiss.

“Alright,” I agreed and kissed his forehead, “but you’ve been saying that for like two weeks now.” It had already been ten days. We were on the second week. And I was getting even more worried.

The only plus side was sharing my life with Mikey and telling him about my mom and the guy from my past, my ex. And I felt a lot better in doing so because he still accepted me though he hated Derek. However, Frank still didn’t know.

Only the Way brothers did.

“At least I don’t have to worry about school,” Mikey said, sitting up. “I’ve been getting my assignments from you and doing them here.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I repeated cautiously. “Will you get better soon?”
“I’ll be fine, Skeye, really. I’ll conquer this bug soon. I promise.” Mikey smiled cutely at me.
“I hope so. I really miss you at school.”
“Has Derek been giving you any problems?” he asked softly though he couldn’t quite disguise the worry in his voice.
“Some,” I admitted, “it’s weird.”
“In what way?” Mikey questioned.

I sat down on Mikey’s bed and said, in all seriousness, “He has completely stopped messing with me and jerking me around.”
Mikey’s eyebrows pulled together.
“And that’s a bad thing?” His tone was shocked.
“Well, yeah, it means that he’s waiting for something. Plotting against me or planning something. Now, all he does is try talking to me.”

I could tell Mikey was uncomfortable talking about Derek, but it was getting easier each day. For me, too.

“When you two-uh-went out…umm-w-what caused you guys to break up?”
“I became more involved in music and poetry, you know, artsy stuff. I was being an individual for once instead of following the crowd.” I paused to shrug. “He hated that,” I responded. “At the same time, though, he was becoming more and more popular. I believe that was the transformation from a considerate to a jerk. After that it didn’t take a genius to figure out that we just didn’t belong together. So, we broke up.”
“Is that it?” Mikey inquired softly. “Nothing else went on between you two?”

My heart began pounding anxiously against my chest and my nerves got the best of me.

Of course there was more. But more I didn’t care to talk about.

“…No, nothing,” I retorted as I looked at my folded knees.
“Do you think you’ll ever go out with anyone again?” Mikey asked nervously.
I smiled and replied, “I’d say it’s a definite possibility.”
“I-if you c-could choose t-to date someone right now… y-you know t-to go out with, who would it be?” Mikey questioned curiously.
“Right now?”
He nodded and said, “Yeah. Any guy in your life- whoever you’re closest to.”
“Umm…I think that position would go to you,” I replied sincerely.

He was the only one who knew more about me than anyone else and still he loved and accepted me.

Besides, I was already falling for Mikey and sharing my entire self with him, telling him about my life. He understood me. And he still cared about me and wanted me around after everything that has happened.

“Y-you would a-actually go out with me?” His tone was hopeful as well as a bit incredulous.
“Of course, Michael.” I gave him a warm smile. “You’re the sweetest guy I know.”
“Then, uh- Skyler- will you-,”

“Damn, I HATE private school!” Frank ranted, bursting into Mikey’s room and slamming the door shut behind him.
“H-hey, Frank,” Mikey retorted glumly.
“Hi,” Frank said angrily.
“What happened, Frankie?” I asked, concerned.
He smiled widely at me and said, “I got kicked out of private school.” His smile turned to a smirk. “My mom’s pissed.”
“But, hey, at least you don’t have to wear those uniforms anymore, or have as many rules,” Mikey pointed out.
“So where are you going to go?” I inquired.
Frank smiled even wider than the previous time and thrilled, “I start at Belleville tomorrow!”
“What?!?!” I screamed excitedly and jumped off of the bed and into Frank’s arms. He laughed and hugged me back.

Frank was so excited, too, that he picked me up and gently swayed me around before he set me back down.

“Now we’re stuck together!” he shrilled.
“On the same campus.” I was so relieved. “Now I’ll have someone to talk to!”
“I know!” he said smiling.
“This is SO Sweet!”
“The SWEETEST!” Frank agreed.
“Ahem, Mikey grunted.
“Now we’ll all go to the same school,” Frank commented cheerfully.
“Great,” Mikey replied softly.
“Yeah,” I agreed, gazing at Mikey. Something seemed off about his reaction. Wasn’t Frank his best friend? “You just worry about getting better, okay?” I asked gently, shifting me attention to Mikey.
“I will.”

I nodded.

“Anyway, I should go. Bye guys.”

I gave them each a hug before I left Mikey’s room and headed back downstairs, out the door,
and headed home.

Things were finally starting to turn around.

As soon as I got home I went straight to my room. There was a note on my door from my mom that read: ‘Love you sweetie. I’ll be working late. See you later- Mom.’

I took the note off and went into my room, shutting the door behind me.

I then placed the note on my desk and plopped down on my bed.

“If I disappear now, it wouldn’t make a difference
If I ran away right now, who would come and find me?
I’m just stuck in my own selfless existence
Thinking about life and how much it sucks
And death, how much I long for it
I hate being alone and feeling like none of it even matters anymore
All I know is, I’m the odd one out
And in the end everyone will sell me out
Then I’ll have no one… and be left on my own
But not if I beat them to the punch line and relinquish their doubt,” I murmured aloud with my head on my pillow, staring up at the ceiling.

For some reason, I had always felt empty- like life doesn’t like me. It liked to play gamed and messed with my head, taunting me with cruel jokes. But at some point or another I guess it did that to everyone. Still, I felt like life had nothing for me.

I could end it right now.

The blade in my drawer proved that.

I rolled over on my bed to my dresser and opened it slowly.
“Where are you, Vitality?” I asked softly, feeling around until I felt it in my palm. I named the blade after I realized its power.

I came close once. No one ever knew. To this day it was a complete mystery. But I was more than capable. I knew that better than anyone.

As I held Vitality in my hand, I felt powerful. She shimmered in the dim light of my bedroom that emanated from the lampshade on my nightstand. But just as I raised it carefully above my wrist my phone rang, shattering my reverie and concentration. As well as out of my trance.

I grabbed my phone shakily and answered it.

“H-hello?” My voice was shaking almost as much as my hands were.
“Hey, Skeye. What’s wrong? You sound freaked.”

I smiled as I recognized Frank’s voice.
“N-nothing. I’m fine.”
“Alright, so, I was kind of thinking that we could hang out tomorrow and walk to school together. And you could, you know, show me around. I’m sure you’re familiar with the place by now.”
“Sure, Frankie, I’d love to,” I responded.
“Sweet,” he said happily. “Guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
“Y-yeah, definitely.”
“Okay, bye!”
“Bye, Frank,” I said lastly before hanging up.

That was way too close, I thought. What was wrong with me?

One minute I’m fine and the next I’m totally not. But that’d be a lie because I never alright or fine. Especially now because I had so much on my mind and so much to be held accountable for. And I wasn’t sure why but I found myself in weird, suicidal moods when I felt things weren’t going right. For whatever reasons I had to pick up Vitality, I was grateful for Frank’s call. If he hadn’t called who knows what could’ve happened if he didn’t.

I shook my head to shake the rest of my body into moving and snap out of my little shock bubble.

With Vitality in my hand, I reopened my drawer and put her back inside. Afterward I curled under my bed covers and tightly shut my eyes. I should be scared of myself but I really wasn’t. As soon as I allowed my body to relax and closed my eyes, I knew everything’d be okay.

dArDeViL™