Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Love = Pain

Joy = Hurt

by Jalex96 0 reviews

Change of heart. It is now a story.

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: G - Genres: Drama - Published: 2011-01-23 - Updated: 2011-01-23 - 756 words

A/N - Hey this is just a shoutout to PartyPoison for giving me the idea to carry this on as a story. Enjoy

6 Months Later
Brendon woke up feeling empty. He couldn’t be bothered to do anything anymore. Ever since Ryan had left, his life had lost all meaning. He got up and showered. While eating his breakfast, he heard a knock on the door. He ran to the door hoping it was Ryan but by the time he got there the knocker was gone. He was about to close the door when a white envelope caught his eye. He picked it up and went back inside. The front of it was blank. But the paper inside was full of Ryan’s writing. Brendon’s heart did a leap of joy. He sat down and started reading.
“Dear Brendon,
I’m sorry. It may be to too late but I feel I have to anyway. It’s really weird not living with you. Maybe we could meet up. It’s okay if you don’t want to.
Hope to see you soon
Brendon grabbed his phone and called Ryan straight away. They agreed to meet up later that afternoon at a local Starbucks.
When Brendon got there Ryan was already there sipping on his coffee.
“Ryan.” He said as he approached him. Ryan got up and hugged him.
“I’ve really missed you Brendon.”
“I missed you too.” When had got his drink, they started talking about what had happened in their lives.
“…and that’s about it.”Brendon finished, “Pretty much the same. What about you?”Brendon had left out major details, like all the men he had bedded in a desperate attempt to replace Ryan or the depression he had suffered. Ryan, on the other hand, was hesitant to answer. He wanted to tell Brendon everything and not leave anything out.
“Well…I’ve moved in with Toni Smith…she was lonely in her apartment and I needed somewhere to live. She’s really helped me through…er…things…” Ryan felt uneasy telling Brendon, but he felt he had to. “She understood what I was going through.” Brendon was confused. Where was Ryan going with this? He could tell that Ryan wanted to say something but was unsure about saying it.
“Ryan just say it.”
“Oh…sorry. I’m…um…dating Toni.”
“WHAT!?” Brendon was not expecting that.
Ryan thought back to when it happened. “I don’t know. It was about two months after I moved in, we just…

‘I was sitting on the sofa with Toni, resting my head on her legs. She was telling me about a movie she had watched. I sat up so I could hear her properly.
“…At the end when the King does his speech without stuttering, you just feel so proud. It’s really awesome. I loved it” As I watched I could see the loneliness in her eyes. She needed someone. And I could be that someone.
“Toni…” I whispered. She stopped talking and looked at me curiously. I moved closer so we were inches apart.
“Ryan. What are you doing?” She seemed panicked.
“Shhhh…” I placed a finger on her lips. She trembled slightly at my touch. Slowly but surely, I replaced my finger with my lips. She gasped in surprise. I used it to my advantage and my tongue made its way to battle with hers. She kissed me back and wrapped her arms round me. I ended the kiss and placed soft kisses on her jaw line. She released her arms and started to push me off.
“Ryan stop.” She had tears in her eyes. I moved back to give her some space.
“Toni…I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s just…” her tears were flowing freely now, “I never thought I’d be with someone again. Ever since Darren. I don’t think…” I pulled her into a hug.
“Don’t worry. Its fine.”

“…after that we just…yeah…”
Brendon was speechless. This was not the reunion he wanted. He wanted to tell Ryan that he loved him and Ryan to say he loved him too. Then they’d hug and kiss and go back to Brendon’s apartment, to show just how much they loved each other. Brendon started to get up. He had to get out of there.
“Where are you going?” Ryan asked, confused.
“I gotta get out of here. I can’t do this.” With that Brendon disappeared out the door.
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