FicWad

GERARD: I wasn't sure if I was even awake, things were so hazy. The cold outside reminded me of my conciousness though. It was Christmas day and as usual I felt shit, though this made any previous years look like a cakewalk. All the events of the previous night rushed back to me and hit my like a kick to the face and hurt like it too. I felt Frank's presence under the warm duvet and tried not to worry, I could hear breathing so I didn't hurry in sitting up. I was glad Mikey had gone and got me cleaned up but I could smell that distinctive iron blood smell in the air. I felt absolutely shit, worse than any hangover, emotionally and physically.

I sat up and slowly got to my senses. Mikey was lying right on the edge of the bed, sleeping peacefully in a hug with Frank. It looked pretty cute actually but I peeled Frank off gently and pulled him to lie with his head in my lap, his shut eyes facing the ceiling. I ran my hands down his chest and kissed his neck lovingly, just so relieved at how unscathed he was at the end of last night's fiasco. The smell of Shane lingered on him though, and it brought a grimace to my face.
I wrapped both arms loosely around his neck, rocking him slightly from side to side. Some of my blood was on around his armpit area so I licked my finger and wiped it away. I wondered if and how I'd ever tell him what I traded for cocaine amoungst other crap. He didn't even know I was hooked on the stuff. It reminded me that my last fix was so distant....

"Sleepy baby...." I ran my fingers along his collar bones and drew lines down his chest. He stirred and eyes flicked open. He remained silent for a while, probably taking it all in.
"Gerard?" he croaked. I ran a finger across his lips rather bemusedly. He sniffed at my fingers, at the collection of deep red under my short nails and his tongue poked out in childsih interest but quickly withdrawing after a taste.
"Yes honey?" I didn't want to suddenly tell him, I didn't know what he already knew at that point.
"What'd we do last night?" I smiled sadly down at him, the question shattering me.
"What do you remember?" I pressed, my heart falling further with every second knowing he was clueless, his innocence.
"It wasn't sex.... I was cold. And I remember Mikey making me warm and he was beside me all the time and you were in the room. You shouted a lot and I think I passed out sometime."

I looked over at Mikey, glad he helped us out so much. There was nothing dodgy about that hug then, Frank was obviously freezing up so Mikey lended some body heat. Mike, of all people should know about first-aid.

"Anything else?" I asked, hoping he'd find more yet at the same time never have to remember again.
He groaned and replied: "I was drinking something and Shane was there but I don't know where we were." He shook his head in frustration. "Tell me. You know right?" His smile hoping for some happy memories faded and I thought about how to say it.

"Well, last night I think you ended up going to Shane's." I started slowly. "You were in his room all drugged up... he forced some drink down you." that's honestly all I could tell him, at least I told him something, telling him nothing would be so much worse. Shane had told Frank to go over and get some gloves he left but it ended up like .....

"What?!" Frank started to sit up but I pushed him back down into my lap. "Shane? Where's he now?!"
"I'm pretty sure the cops are on him. I can tell you the story another time but I'm really tired and it's Christmas. I'd rather not look at us and feel down."
"Don't. It's not your fault. So you got me out of there before.....?" Frank placed his hands on the small of my back. Flexible little thing. He shoved his head right up against my crotch to stare up at me in fascination. I didn't get him out before the worst though, did I?

"Yeah..." I stoked his head, letting his hair fall over his eyes slightly.
"That's all I want to know for the moment anyway. Thank you." He grinned, stretching out his legs more and kicking Mikey in the process.
Now the burden of revealing all dumped itself firmly on my shoulders as if they weren't bad enough already. I focused on keeping us all happy though, that seemed the best course of action.

"Do you.... Do you mind if I keep you here today? Or at least near me." I asked shakily, petting Frank's head sympathetically.
"What? Gerard you know I can't..." I asked him with my eyes, genuinely needing his company until I felt confident enough. "Okay, I'll try." He reached up abd just managed to graze my stomach with a light kiss.

I didn't want him out my sight at all. I couldn't bear the though of either of us being alone, some bad shit would catch up if we were alone, wheather its guilt or memories that I'd prefer reamain buried in the back of out minds. Permenantly.

His sweet gaze was diverted to a loud thump from the floor. I saw Mikey fall of the bed with a heavy bang. He'd probably be awake, asking all about last night as well. I let him lie there to slowly arise, rubbing his temples annoyedly.
"Are you okay?" Frank asked looking over at him, his head twisting in my lap.
"Funny, I was going to ask the same." Mikey got up and sat on the bed next to me.
"He remembers you warming him up. Thanks."I whispered and I gave him a quick peck on the cheek that may have been un-noticable to any one else.
"I'm so happy you did whatever you did Mikey." Frank beamed up at him now sitting up a little more, his shoulders coming up to the start of my ribs.

"It's nothing. So, whats the story? On last night?" Mikey asked, directing the question at both of us.

"Just a couple of mistakes. I'll tell you another time."
"Please...! C'mon! What about the cut?" He asked, reaching over me to touch the patch.

"Cut?" Frank looked at me again.
"A mistake." I repeated, showing the patch to them both. I did feel pretty weak but I figured I'd recover. The urgent task on my mind was then figuring out how to keep Frank with me.

As Frank lay there with me, his smell attacking my nostrils, that vile hint of Shane clung to him another idea entered my mind. I wouldn't be happy until I knew he was clean.
"Actually Frank, before we do anything else I think you should take a shower." I suggested.
"What? Why...?" Frank got up again, clinging to me still.
"You'll feel better for it, we both will." I replied, stoking his skin softly. Frank pretty much jumped where he sat as well as jumping to the right conclusion.
"We?" He smiled half devilishly, though still obviously trapped by the rooms general mood.
"Yeah." I sighed, if you want. "You're so damn dirty I can smell it." It was both true and a very obvious hint. I fully intended to join him in there anyway. I took him through to the bathroom where Frank stood and looked at me, blushing a bit as if to say, 'you go first!' I sighed and rested my head on his shoulders.
"You start up, you know how this one works, right?" I whispered, wrinkling my nose as I drew in Frank's messed up scent.
"Yeah..."

I left the bathroom, going to get myself another towel and listened for Frank turning on the shower. It wasn't long until I heard the hiss of the pipes and a very Frank-like slide on small shower units' floor. I waited outside the bathroom door for a few minutes until things got started.

Without so much as a word I slid into the already steamed up room, locking the door behind me and undressing, leaving my messed up clothes beside Frank's jeans. Frank hadn't heard me enter obviously as I heard nothing from him either over the water. I could just make our Frank from all the steam and through the blurred glass on the sliding door so I just took a breath and went into the shower with him, carefully wrapping my arms around Frank's waist and to my surprise he didn't even make a sound, apart from a sigh of course.

"Gee..." He started, pushing his head back into me, and as expected pushing everything esle of him onto me as well. Despite all the circumstances still causing a whirlwind in my mind a shower with Frank definately diverted my thoughts and let me relax somewhat.
"You clean?" I asked cautiously, rocking us from side to side.
"Ugh ~ Hell no." Came his quiet reply, his body amost shaking in my grasp.
"Pass the gel then." I asked, nibbling his ear almost without meaning to. Frank already had it in one hand so raised it up for me to grab at. I couldn't help a grin as I pushed us further under the hot water in the tiny cubicle, pouring the scented stuff just everywhere, starting at Frank's neck, just rubbing it down him, enjoying it as much as he sounded like he was too. It was the fact he was so slick, slippery, and the cubicle was so steamy too that made it so much better, every breath was heavier and every movement seemed magnified.
Frank simply groaned, guiding my hands down with his own smaller ones and nestling his head further into my throat.

I got to the start of Frank's hips before I could help myself no longer, burying my face in his neck, the preferred spot just under his ear, gasping myself as things only got hotter. Frank started grinding against me too, though I was unsure if it was because he was trying to give me an erection or was dealing with his own. It didn't matter, he had done his job simply getting all steamed up in there. Frank started reacheing up to me as well as my hands went further down, lips grazing the top of my throat.

Our movements got more, say, violent, perhpas as I inched down Frankie until I was pretty much about to be entering him while he was pushing against me as I pushed back. Frank sighed again, cursing softly as I let my hands start to entertain his hard-as-rock erection with little thought. Fuck, there weren't words for it. All my thoughts were focussed on him at that very moment, not the night before, all the dirtiness then replaced with our own as I idly slid my hnads up and down him, appreciating every whimper I drew out and every move he made on me.

"Fuck, Gerard, Oh...." Frank held me in place with his arms, linked behind my head and pulled us even closer, fitting almost like a puzle though there was one piece missing but I knew it was hardly the time ti be up to any of that 'fitting' with each other. Frank violently started tossing his hips back into me which was throwing me off balance with how fucking good it felt. I could've stayed in that tiny unit for hours you know, just grinding like that.