Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Disenchanted
Late June 05
I looked at the guys-- they were all looking the same-- surprised and confused. Miss Anderson cleared her throat "-Emily!" The girl from earlier came running. "Emily, you know where to take these," he pointed to all the guys," I have a special room for her," then she pointed to me.
"That was him, wasn't it?" she asked, as we walked down am empty hallway.
"Yeah...that was...Gerard." I felt so weird talking about this with her. I guessed my mom had told her why I was sad. I was going to have to yell at her for that.
"I'm sorry,"she said, sounding like she meant it "It's just...it's nice to see you okay." She pressed the elevator button.
"It's okay" I said quietly, even though it wasn't. The elevator (thankfully) opened at that moment. I followed her in. I studied her closely--she pressed the button for the 2nd floor...just as I had feared.
As the elevator took us up a floor, the both of us kept silent. When the door opened she walked out first and I started following her again.
"Third door on the right." The voice whispered in my head. I shivered and tried to shake the thought from my head. Miss Anderson turned right. No no no! She stopped at the third door. The plague read "Room 223"
"Miss Anderson...I can't..." I said frantically.
She looked at me "You'll be fine, Aria. You just have to see this." She opened the door. I gasped.
A girl sat in front of the window- arms around legs, staring out, just like I use to.
"Lacey, I have a visitor here for you." Lacey slowly turned her head towards us. I could tell that she really didn't care from her lack of interest. But I wasn't offended. I knew how she felt. I knew how depressed sucked away the happiness from everything, causing you to become more and more hopeless everyday.
"Miss Anderson," I said "you can leave us, I'll be okay." She smiled and nodded and left me and Lacey alone in the lonely, haunting room 223.
I went to the window and sat opposite of Lacey. I put my feet up and looked out the window too. "What do you see out there?" I asked.
Lacey just shrugged.
"Do you see a city? Like what's really back there? Or do you see...nothing? Like I use to?" Lacey didn't say anything. "I use to look out of this window day after day...sometimes I watched people...people who could go on with their lives...But most of the time I couldn't see anything. I was blinded by depression and the dark, helplessness of it. Depression made me not able to see anything but the darkness that surrounded my life." I had to stop because I was starting to cry...I could also hear a few sniffles from Lacey. Then she finally looked at me. "Were you in here for the same reason that I am?" she had tears streaming down her face. I leaned over to hug her.
I was put into the god awful building because I allowed myself to fall in love with a guy and make myself think that I would spend the rest of my life with him. Then I fell in love with someone else. And that tore me apart. When I was in that position all I needed was a friend, someone who understood. I thought I was crazy and soon knew that I was. Because I knew that I was crazy for giving my heart away to two people that I didn't even know. I eventually gave up on the first guy. I thought that if he was my soul mate, then I wouldn't be in love with Gerard. But I still loved the first guy. But it was a different kind of love. Gerard for some reason always made me depressed...and hopeless, but the first guy...the love I felt with him...felt right. It was clean, and pure, and just made me happy.
So even though I still haven't figured out things, and wasn't able to tell Lacey what to do...I was able to be a friend for her. To be able to understand... I wish I had had someone to be there for me. That could have saved me from billions of tears, self-harming, and the fear of one day becoming depressed again. That was my biggest fear.
I looked at the guys-- they were all looking the same-- surprised and confused. Miss Anderson cleared her throat "-Emily!" The girl from earlier came running. "Emily, you know where to take these," he pointed to all the guys," I have a special room for her," then she pointed to me.
"That was him, wasn't it?" she asked, as we walked down am empty hallway.
"Yeah...that was...Gerard." I felt so weird talking about this with her. I guessed my mom had told her why I was sad. I was going to have to yell at her for that.
"I'm sorry,"she said, sounding like she meant it "It's just...it's nice to see you okay." She pressed the elevator button.
"It's okay" I said quietly, even though it wasn't. The elevator (thankfully) opened at that moment. I followed her in. I studied her closely--she pressed the button for the 2nd floor...just as I had feared.
As the elevator took us up a floor, the both of us kept silent. When the door opened she walked out first and I started following her again.
"Third door on the right." The voice whispered in my head. I shivered and tried to shake the thought from my head. Miss Anderson turned right. No no no! She stopped at the third door. The plague read "Room 223"
"Miss Anderson...I can't..." I said frantically.
She looked at me "You'll be fine, Aria. You just have to see this." She opened the door. I gasped.
A girl sat in front of the window- arms around legs, staring out, just like I use to.
"Lacey, I have a visitor here for you." Lacey slowly turned her head towards us. I could tell that she really didn't care from her lack of interest. But I wasn't offended. I knew how she felt. I knew how depressed sucked away the happiness from everything, causing you to become more and more hopeless everyday.
"Miss Anderson," I said "you can leave us, I'll be okay." She smiled and nodded and left me and Lacey alone in the lonely, haunting room 223.
I went to the window and sat opposite of Lacey. I put my feet up and looked out the window too. "What do you see out there?" I asked.
Lacey just shrugged.
"Do you see a city? Like what's really back there? Or do you see...nothing? Like I use to?" Lacey didn't say anything. "I use to look out of this window day after day...sometimes I watched people...people who could go on with their lives...But most of the time I couldn't see anything. I was blinded by depression and the dark, helplessness of it. Depression made me not able to see anything but the darkness that surrounded my life." I had to stop because I was starting to cry...I could also hear a few sniffles from Lacey. Then she finally looked at me. "Were you in here for the same reason that I am?" she had tears streaming down her face. I leaned over to hug her.
I was put into the god awful building because I allowed myself to fall in love with a guy and make myself think that I would spend the rest of my life with him. Then I fell in love with someone else. And that tore me apart. When I was in that position all I needed was a friend, someone who understood. I thought I was crazy and soon knew that I was. Because I knew that I was crazy for giving my heart away to two people that I didn't even know. I eventually gave up on the first guy. I thought that if he was my soul mate, then I wouldn't be in love with Gerard. But I still loved the first guy. But it was a different kind of love. Gerard for some reason always made me depressed...and hopeless, but the first guy...the love I felt with him...felt right. It was clean, and pure, and just made me happy.
So even though I still haven't figured out things, and wasn't able to tell Lacey what to do...I was able to be a friend for her. To be able to understand... I wish I had had someone to be there for me. That could have saved me from billions of tears, self-harming, and the fear of one day becoming depressed again. That was my biggest fear.
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