Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Living In a World Without You
Gerard’s POV
Seem more normal? I could not believe he just said that to me. I felt hurt and furious at the same time. I sped down the hallway; I needed to get out of here and go to bar or something. I took my phone out of my pocket while I was in the elevator, it rung.
“Hello?”
“Bert, get your ass down here. I need to get wasted”
“A-are you sure? Everyone’s been pissed at me for what happened last night; I don’t want Mikey to beat the shit out of me or something.”
“I don’t care, I'm a little on edge right now and I need something to take my mind away”
Silence.
“Bert?”
“I've got just the thing for you… I’ll be in the lobby in 2 minutes”
I was in the lobby for about a minute before Bert showed up with a mischievous grin on his face. It scared me, but only slightly. Without saying a word to each other we walked out of the hotel and began walking toward the bar we were at the night before. There wasn’t a line outside this time so we just walked right in and sat on the barstools.
“Shot of Jack Daniels” I told the bartender.
Bert looked at me with an eyebrow raised. “You hate whiskey”
“I don’t care.” My head fell into my hands.
The bartender brought me my shot and I chugged it down, burning my throat as it went down. I squeezed my eyes shut waiting for the burning to stop. I already felt better.
“Gerard is there something you want to talk about?”
I sighed. “No. I just want to drink.”
He ordered a beer for us both. “I can tell when something is bothering you. Talk to me”
“I don’t want to fucking talk! Okay?” I burst out.
“Sounds like someone needs a little getaway.” His head tilted down and I followed it. He pulled something out of his pocket. A bag filled with white powder. I froze.
“Well?” He smirked.
“I don’t know… I…” he interrupted me.
“You’re already drinking again, one line won’t hurt you”
I knew I would regret what I was about to say. “O-okay”
He took my hand and dragged me to the men’s bathroom locking the door behind us so no one would walk in. My heart was pounding in my chest; I really shouldn’t do this, so why didn’t I walk away?
Bert used a razor blade to cut some lines on the bathroom sink. He pulled out a dollar bill and rolled it up. He snorted two lines, and then looked at me. “You ready?”
My body was shaking, I nodded. I leaned over the sink and took the dollar bill from Bert. A tear trickled down my face before I put it to my nose and inhaled gently, one line up the right nostril, the other up the left. Immediately, both sides of my nose go cold and numb. Memorization filled my brain and just like that, my heart is racing and the hairs on my arms rise, sending chills throughout my entire body. Every nerve jumps to attention. I can’t feel my nose or my mouth.
Bert crept up behind me sliding his hands around my waist and rubbing my crotch, causing me to moan.
“Hmm you like that?” He whispered in my ear.
“Oh yeah” I said through shaky breaths.
We jumped as someone knocked on the door. “Yo why is this fuckin door locked? I gotta take a shit!” the guy behind the door yelled. Bert and I quickly picked up the coke and razorblade and ran out of the bathroom and out the front door of the bar. Practically running down the street we were already back at the hotel and entering Bert’s hotel room without anyone seeing us.
He kissed me forcefully. “You want another line?”
“Yes please”
He chuckled before pulling away and setting up on the glass coffee table. Two lines of cocaine made, he snorted one and then turned to me handing me the rolled up dollar bill. I wasn’t as nervous this time, considering the fact that I was already high. I breathed it in, increasing my sensations a thousand times that they already were. My head took off and my heart sped up.
Bert spun me around and kissed me again, shoving his tongue into my mouth. He pulled my shirt over my head and did the same with his. Every part of my body was tingling; I couldn’t tell if it was from the drugs or from Bert touching every inch of me. He pushed me backward onto his bed and took off his pants before crawling on top of me and taking off mine. He started kissing my neck, and then he started biting; bruising.
I gasped. “Bert, that h-hurts”
He had a crazed look in his eye. “It’ll get better”
He ripped off my boxers, leaving me exposed. He took off his own boxers and threw himself on me, grabbing me hard and flipping me on my stomach. He reached for the nightstand and grabbed a condom out of the drawer and slipping it on himself. I was terrified.
“B-Bert, I d-don’t know if we should-” He cut me off.
“Just relax. You’ll love it.” The sound of his voice terrified me even more.
He grabbed my shoulders and thrusted himself into me. I screamed out in pain, a tear trickled down my face. This was the worst pain I had ever felt, I felt like I was going to rip from the inside out. He didn’t even wait for me to get used to having him inside me. I bit down on my lip, causing it to bleed. Bert continued to plunge himself into me as I tensed up. No one has ever been this rough with me.
“Oh… oh fuck Gerard… uhh you’re so tight” he moaned out.
I cried out. “Bert please stop! It hurts! Oh!”
But he doesn’t stop, doesn’t slow down. He grabbed a fist full of my hair and yanked it, I cried out again. My lower half went numb as he applied pressure. I was in complete agony; I thought this was supposed to feel good. Where was the pleasure? He put one hand on my neck and another on my side and gripped onto me, digging his nails into my skin. I buried my face into a pillow, waiting for him to finish.
“Oh god Gerard, I'm cuming!” He screamed out.
His body convulsed on top of me and continued to move as he rode out his orgasm. He collapsed beside me gasping for air and lit up a cigarette. I didn’t move. I couldn’t move. I just laid there frozen, not knowing what to do next.
He took a drag from his cigarette. “How was that?” He smirked.
I couldn’t bring myself to say anything, and I curled up in the fetal position. My cocaine high was starting to go down a bit and I felt parts of my body start to swell. My phone rang and I jumped, getting up and grabbed the phone out of the pocket of my jeans’ pocket with Bert closely behind me, watching my every move. I looked at the caller ID. It was Frank.
Seem more normal? I could not believe he just said that to me. I felt hurt and furious at the same time. I sped down the hallway; I needed to get out of here and go to bar or something. I took my phone out of my pocket while I was in the elevator, it rung.
“Hello?”
“Bert, get your ass down here. I need to get wasted”
“A-are you sure? Everyone’s been pissed at me for what happened last night; I don’t want Mikey to beat the shit out of me or something.”
“I don’t care, I'm a little on edge right now and I need something to take my mind away”
Silence.
“Bert?”
“I've got just the thing for you… I’ll be in the lobby in 2 minutes”
I was in the lobby for about a minute before Bert showed up with a mischievous grin on his face. It scared me, but only slightly. Without saying a word to each other we walked out of the hotel and began walking toward the bar we were at the night before. There wasn’t a line outside this time so we just walked right in and sat on the barstools.
“Shot of Jack Daniels” I told the bartender.
Bert looked at me with an eyebrow raised. “You hate whiskey”
“I don’t care.” My head fell into my hands.
The bartender brought me my shot and I chugged it down, burning my throat as it went down. I squeezed my eyes shut waiting for the burning to stop. I already felt better.
“Gerard is there something you want to talk about?”
I sighed. “No. I just want to drink.”
He ordered a beer for us both. “I can tell when something is bothering you. Talk to me”
“I don’t want to fucking talk! Okay?” I burst out.
“Sounds like someone needs a little getaway.” His head tilted down and I followed it. He pulled something out of his pocket. A bag filled with white powder. I froze.
“Well?” He smirked.
“I don’t know… I…” he interrupted me.
“You’re already drinking again, one line won’t hurt you”
I knew I would regret what I was about to say. “O-okay”
He took my hand and dragged me to the men’s bathroom locking the door behind us so no one would walk in. My heart was pounding in my chest; I really shouldn’t do this, so why didn’t I walk away?
Bert used a razor blade to cut some lines on the bathroom sink. He pulled out a dollar bill and rolled it up. He snorted two lines, and then looked at me. “You ready?”
My body was shaking, I nodded. I leaned over the sink and took the dollar bill from Bert. A tear trickled down my face before I put it to my nose and inhaled gently, one line up the right nostril, the other up the left. Immediately, both sides of my nose go cold and numb. Memorization filled my brain and just like that, my heart is racing and the hairs on my arms rise, sending chills throughout my entire body. Every nerve jumps to attention. I can’t feel my nose or my mouth.
Bert crept up behind me sliding his hands around my waist and rubbing my crotch, causing me to moan.
“Hmm you like that?” He whispered in my ear.
“Oh yeah” I said through shaky breaths.
We jumped as someone knocked on the door. “Yo why is this fuckin door locked? I gotta take a shit!” the guy behind the door yelled. Bert and I quickly picked up the coke and razorblade and ran out of the bathroom and out the front door of the bar. Practically running down the street we were already back at the hotel and entering Bert’s hotel room without anyone seeing us.
He kissed me forcefully. “You want another line?”
“Yes please”
He chuckled before pulling away and setting up on the glass coffee table. Two lines of cocaine made, he snorted one and then turned to me handing me the rolled up dollar bill. I wasn’t as nervous this time, considering the fact that I was already high. I breathed it in, increasing my sensations a thousand times that they already were. My head took off and my heart sped up.
Bert spun me around and kissed me again, shoving his tongue into my mouth. He pulled my shirt over my head and did the same with his. Every part of my body was tingling; I couldn’t tell if it was from the drugs or from Bert touching every inch of me. He pushed me backward onto his bed and took off his pants before crawling on top of me and taking off mine. He started kissing my neck, and then he started biting; bruising.
I gasped. “Bert, that h-hurts”
He had a crazed look in his eye. “It’ll get better”
He ripped off my boxers, leaving me exposed. He took off his own boxers and threw himself on me, grabbing me hard and flipping me on my stomach. He reached for the nightstand and grabbed a condom out of the drawer and slipping it on himself. I was terrified.
“B-Bert, I d-don’t know if we should-” He cut me off.
“Just relax. You’ll love it.” The sound of his voice terrified me even more.
He grabbed my shoulders and thrusted himself into me. I screamed out in pain, a tear trickled down my face. This was the worst pain I had ever felt, I felt like I was going to rip from the inside out. He didn’t even wait for me to get used to having him inside me. I bit down on my lip, causing it to bleed. Bert continued to plunge himself into me as I tensed up. No one has ever been this rough with me.
“Oh… oh fuck Gerard… uhh you’re so tight” he moaned out.
I cried out. “Bert please stop! It hurts! Oh!”
But he doesn’t stop, doesn’t slow down. He grabbed a fist full of my hair and yanked it, I cried out again. My lower half went numb as he applied pressure. I was in complete agony; I thought this was supposed to feel good. Where was the pleasure? He put one hand on my neck and another on my side and gripped onto me, digging his nails into my skin. I buried my face into a pillow, waiting for him to finish.
“Oh god Gerard, I'm cuming!” He screamed out.
His body convulsed on top of me and continued to move as he rode out his orgasm. He collapsed beside me gasping for air and lit up a cigarette. I didn’t move. I couldn’t move. I just laid there frozen, not knowing what to do next.
He took a drag from his cigarette. “How was that?” He smirked.
I couldn’t bring myself to say anything, and I curled up in the fetal position. My cocaine high was starting to go down a bit and I felt parts of my body start to swell. My phone rang and I jumped, getting up and grabbed the phone out of the pocket of my jeans’ pocket with Bert closely behind me, watching my every move. I looked at the caller ID. It was Frank.
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