Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Living In a World Without You

Chapter 6

by nikki_killjoy 0 reviews

Gerard makes a mistake, but he doesnt see it that way.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: R - Genres: Drama - Characters: Frank Iero,Gerard Way,Mikey Way,Ray Toro - Published: 2011-02-12 - Updated: 2011-02-15 - 1692 words

Frank’s POV
I paced back and fourth in the empty hotel room. Gerard had left at around 9 o’clock last night and he still wasn’t back! Was he still with Bert? What were they doing? I had this sick feeling in my stomach that something bad happened to Gerard. I just need to relax, I’m sure I'm just overreacting.
There was a knock at the door, I ran to open it almost busting my ass on the way. Mikey and Gerard walked in, I through myself at Gerard and gave him a big hug.
“God, where the fuck have you been?” I said frantically
“I was-“ Mikey interrupted him
“Gerard got drunk with Bert last night and if I hadn’t have heard some big thud come from outside then I’m sure they would have had sex.”
I eyes began to tear up. “Gerard?” I looked at him with pleading eyes, hoping for him to tell me that it wasn’t true and that Mikey made it up.
“Yeah I did. But I don’t see what the big deal is, I mean you guys drink and I'm not sure why you had to bring up that fact that we were going to sleep together because I can fuck whoever I want.” Gerard seemed angry.
“Yeah we do drink, but not with the people that got us hooked on drugs and I don’t think Bert is even gay so he was just trying to take advantage of you!” I was screaming.
Tears ran down Gerard’s cheeks and he turned his glance away from mine. “I already told you I wasn’t going to do that again, and I don’t care.”
Mikey furrowed his eyebrows “What do you mean you don’t care?”
“I don’t care if he was going ‘take advantage of me’. I wanted it.” He said this and immediately ran for the bathroom. I could hear him spilling the contents of his stomach.
“Yeah hangovers suck don’t they?” Mikey yelled to Gerard, trying to make a point. He looked at me “I’ll stay with him for a few minutes; you go tell the other guys what happened”
I decided to just text them what happened, I needed to get some coffee and sit by myself somewhere. I got in the elevator and I started typing.
Text Message
“Hey dudes, Gerard got drunk with…”
I stopped. There was a weird pain in my chest, like some one was ripping my heart out. I collapsed on the floor of the elevator and began sobbing uncontrollably. What was wrong with me? Why am I crying? I imagined Gerard’s face to try and cheer myself up. His skin was white and flawless it was like porcelain, if those dumb little twilight vampires were real he would be what they looked like. I imagined his sparkling hazel eyes making me melt. I think my feelings are all out of wack. My brain caught me by surprise, Gerard was now shirtless and his white hands began slowly moving down his defined chest and down lower where he began to touch himself.
I stopped crying. Something was wrong; I shouldn’t be feeling these emotions right now. I’m not supposed to imagine my best friend do those things, and I know for a fact that I'm not supposed to like it… Then it hit me. I like it. Memories flashed back to when we would rub up on each other and kiss on stage, I remembered having this feeling then too. Why didn’t I acknowledge having them? I felt like I was floating when I thought about him, I know this feeling. This was the feeling I get when I’m with my wife, only its magnified by a thousand times. Oh god. Am I in love with him?
The elevator reached the lobby, and I ran out. Passing the coffee, passing the people, I think I even saw Ray; well I passed him. I ran out the front of the hotel and down the street. I can’t believe this was happening, I knew I was in love with Gerard. I could feel it in my heart, but I didn’t want to accept it. I couldn’t accept it. What would Gerard think if he knew? What if everyone already knew and I was the only one oblivious to the fact. I kept running until I was out of breath and I collapsed on the concrete staring up at the sky, starting to cry. Did I even want to love him? Even if I did, it wouldn’t matter. None of it matters because I love my wife; well I’m supposed to love her. Did I still love her?
My phone rang; I sat up on the ground and took out my phone. It was Ray, so I had seen him in the lobby.
“Hello?” My voice shook; he’d know that I was crying.
“Hey dude why did you run out?”
“I don’t know… I just needed to clear my mind.” I choked out.
“Frank, are you crying?!” He said worriedly
“Yeah I am” I started to sob
“Frank where are you? Why are you crying? What's going on?”
“Take a right out of the hotel and keep walking, you’ll see me somewhere.” I hung up not wanting to answer any more questions over the phone.
A few minutes later Ray was next to me. “What’s wrong?!” He said out of breath.
“I… I'm so confused… But I didn’t even know I was confused… it just happened… But I think I've always known something was wrong… That something wasn’t right…”
He gave me a ‘what the fuck’ look. “Spit it out Frank”
“Gerard got drunk with Bert last night” I said, looking away.
“Oh wow. That’s bad but there has to be another reason why you’re crying.”
“They almost had sex” My chest ached.
“… So?” He said, not understanding why it was such a big deal. We all knew Gerard was gay, so it wasn’t a big surprise that he would fuck a guy.
“I think I'm in love with him…” I knew I could trust Ray, he wasn’t one to judge.
“You’re… Frank… But… But you’re married!” He said frantically.
“I know Ray, I know. I just I don’t know… Maybe I'm full of shit… Forget it, just don’t tell anyone what I said” I got up and started walking back toward the hotel, Ray following not too far behind.
I was now back in the hotel room, Gerard was laying on the bed.
He looked up, attempting a smile. “Hey Frankie”
His voice made me melt, god what is wrong with me?! “Hey, how’re you feeling?”
“Like a pile of shit” He giggled, sending chills up my spine. Yep, it was love. Fuck.
“You’re not gonna keep on drinking, are you?” my voice saddened.
“Frank, last night was a mistake. I didn’t realize I had drunk so much until I was already wasted. It wasn’t intentional.”
I shifted uncomfortably. “What about Bert?”
He raised an eyebrow “What about Bert?”
“Was that unintentional too? Or… did you really want to?” I looked away.
“I'm sorry Frank, I don’t really feel comfortable answering that question” He bit his lip.
I fucking knew it, he had a thing for Bert. I then said something completely unexpected, even for myself. “What’s it like kissing a guy?”
Gerard froze. “You know that already, we kiss onstage all the time”
“Yeah but that’s for show, I mean, what’s it like to do it for real?” I walked closer to him.
“The same as kissing a girl I suppose.”
Don’t say it Frank, he doesn’t like you that way! “Will you show me?” Shit! Why the fuck did I say that?
Gerard turned bright red. “You… you w-want to k-kiss me?” He stuttered. Oh well nice going Frank, making this all damn awkward.
“Yeah. Just to see what its like” I sat down next to him, hoping yet fearing that he would say okay.
He put his hand on the side of my face. “Close your eyes” He whispered, I licked my lips as he pulled my head closer to his. I could feel his warm breath against my mouth. Finally, he pulled me in all the way and our lips collided. Fireworks shot off, my lips began to burn blissfully, and I felt like I was flying. Our lips massaged one another’s. I wanted this, I knew I did. Did he want this too? Or was he just doing a friendly favor? Let’s find out. I ran my tongue along his bottom lip and his mouth opened, allowing me access. My tongue danced in his mouth, rubbing against his. He grabbed the back of my head and pulled our bodies closer together, so our chests were touching.
This was too much; Id never felt anything so heart igniting in my entire life. My dick twitched, I knew I was getting hard and I knew I should pull away before it gets completely noticeable and Gerard would see it. But I didn’t want to; I wanted this kiss to last forever. I was so deep in to the kiss that I didn’t realize I moaned into his mouth. Fuck! I pulled away quickly, my face burning red.
“Sorry… I uhh… was thinking of my wife… so it would seem more… normal” He looked hurt. Hell, the lie even hurt me.
“Normal?” His eyes saddened. Shit, I should have worded that differently, I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
“Oh… Gerard I'm sorry. I didn’t mean it like that, please forgive me”
He stood and walked toward the door “No it’s cool. I get it. I'm gonna go.” The door slammed shut, leaving me in the cold empty room with an aching heart and a problem in my pants that needed to be dealt with now.
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