FicWad

Frank’s POV
My palms were sweating and I felt like I was going to throw up. Gerard stormed out of the room about five minutes ago and room has been deathly silent since then. How could he say that? He was anything but a quick fuck! Oh well… that’s not the fucking problem right now, because now everyone knows what I tried to do. You think they’ll buy it if I said I was drunk?
“Are you out of your fucking mind?” Mikey decided to be the first one to yell. “You know he has self esteem issues and so many other problems and you go out and try that shit?! What the hell is wrong with you?” His face was now an unpleasant shade of red.
“Mikey, calm down” Ray placed his hand on Mikey’s shoulder but he slapped it away.
“No! I will not fucking calm down! For god’s sake Frank, you’re married! How would your wife feel about this?”
I didn’t answer. I couldn’t answer. The thought of my wife finding out about this made me sick to my stomach… But this fear, was it fear of loosing her or just her getting angry with me?
“Fucking Christ, I need to go talk to him.” And with that, Mikey left the bus. Bob following awkwardly behind him, leaving only Ray and I on the tour bus.
Ray sat down on the table in front of me. “So… would you like to explain things to me?”
I just shook my head, still not able to find my voice.
“Frank, you need to talk to me because obviously if you keep feelings inside then you end up doing something stupid like you did last night.”
Tears couldn’t help but fall on to my cheek. I felt disgusting, like scum. For feeling like this toward the man that was supposed to be my best friend, for trying to seduce him, and for hurting his feelings. I just can’t stand seeing him with Bert. I may be scum but Bert is below scum, he doesn’t even deserve to be called anything for how big a piece of shit he is. But what Gerard said… About him wanting to have sex with Bert. Did he actually mean that? The way he looked at me when he said that, it felt like my heart was being ripped out. I hated Bert with all of my being, if he even so much as looked in Gerard’s direction again—
“Well?” Ray interrupted my thoughts.
“Ray I don’t know. I already told you that I thought I was in love with him, there's nothing more to it. I was lonely and I made a mistake.” I wiped my tears away.
“Yeah but why did you choose the night Gerard got hurt to make a move?”
I ran my fingers through my hair. “I don’t know. I just… I wanted to take his mind off of Bert, so he would forget about him. I'm not okay with what they have going on. I hate it.”
I could feel Ray’s eyes on me, as if he was trying to pierce through my skin to see what I'm really thinking. “So do you actually think you’re in love with Gerard or do you just want him because he’s with Bert and not you?”
I was shocked; I couldn’t believe Ray would actually think of me as the kind of person that would want something just because someone else did. “How the hell can you say that? Do you seriously think I'm that shallow?”
Before he could answer Gerard walked back into the bus, his eyes obviously swollen from crying. He didn’t acknowledge either of us, he just stood there. Although his body and face were tired, his eyes were full of life. That was something I always love about him, he had such a beautifully soft face with hard eyes that just tolled stories. He’s so gorgeous. The parts about him that other people would think of as flaws are just perfection for me. I knew I was in love with him, and it hurt to admit it.
“Frank, we need to talk.” Gerard said uncomfortably.
“Uh yeah okay” He started his way back outside and I followed him. It was way too bright outside for how gray of a day it felt. He sat down on he curb and lit up a cigarette, taking a long drag before finally speaking again.
“You hurt me.” He wouldn’t look at me.
“Wait. I hurt you? Bert fucking raped you and you’re mad at me for hurting you?” I tried to keep my tone from going to angry but it was difficult.
“Yes! You did hurt me, because you’re supposed to be my friend! And would you shut the fuck up about Bert? He didn’t rape me! He just got a little rough.” Tears brimmed at the corners of his eyes.
I couldn’t contain my anger at this point. “A little rough? Gerard, there are bruises and scratches all down your sides! If he was just being a little rough then you wouldn’t have come into the room crying last night like you did.”
“Yeah so why would you try and seduce me? Or why did you kiss me and say you were thinking about you wife? I feel different enough being gay and all, I don’t need someone telling me to be more ‘normal’! If you don’t mean it then you shouldn’t do it!” He took another drag on his cigarette.
“Gerard, I don’t know what to say.” I didn’t know my comment had had such a huge effect on him.
“Then don’t say a fucking thing.” And with that, he left me sitting on the curb with nothing but regret and his cigarette smoke still lingering in the air around me.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry that the chapter isnt as good as the others, it was more of a filler chapter, but I PROMISE the next with be FIERCE :)