FicWad

Anna’s eyes popped open as soon as the RV engine was shut off. Rolling her head over on the pillow and saw that Gerard was sleeping soundly with his mouth open. She pursed her lips to hold back a giggle, he looked so adorable yet goofy.

Slowly she slid from the bed and dressed making sure not to wake him. Judging by the light coming through the window it was early morning.

“Anna.” Claire greeted her as soon as she walked through the bedroom door.

Anna gently pulled the door closed then smiled, “Good morning.”

“Feeling better?” Bob asked as he made his way from the driver’s seat towards them.

“Much better, thank you.” Anna answered. “Where are we?”

“About an hour and a half from the venue.” Bob answered. “Ray called and said he and Mikey were hungry and they wanted to stop for breakfast.”

Anna nodded.

Bob held out his hand to help Claire off the sofa, “How about grabbing some pancakes?”

Claire smiled, “I am hungry. I will dress and meet you over at the restaurant.”

“Okay, don’t be long. I’ll order for us.” Bob said. He turned to Anna, “Feel up to eating?”

Anna remembered the story had been she was ill last night, “No, not yet. My stomach is still a bit upset.”

Once Bob had left the RV Claire turned to Anna, “How are you?”

“The effects of the drug have worn off.” Anna sighed, “Tell me how bad was my behavior last night?”

Claire had known she’s ask, “You were desperately fighting the drug. Your concern over Gerard made it very difficult for you.”

Anna sat down on the sofa, “I can not believe anyone would dare to do what was done to Gerard.”

Claire moved to the bathroom to dress but let the door slightly open so she could continue to speak to Anna, “Did you learn anything from the woman you questioned?”

Anna recalled the confrontation, “She could not tell me who had given her the drug. Her memory had been erased.”

Claire pulled on her jeans and a hoodie then returned to the main room, “So you do not even know who she is blood bound to?”

“That was erased from her memory as well.” Anna said softly, “I just can not imagine someone doing something like this. It goes against so many of the Healer’s codes.”

Claire sighed, “Anna you must speak to Jacob about this. He must be told what has happened.”

Anna looked down, “I know. I just fear his reaction.”

“Why?” Claire asked.

When Anna looked up her face was covered with sadness, “I fear he may call me home.” She paused, “Yet in a way I almost hope that is his response. I am putting Gerard’s life in danger.”

“I hope he calls you home too.”

Both women turned at the sound of Gerard’s voice.

Anna was frightened by his words, “You wish me to go?” She whispered.

He took several steps into the room, “I wish us to go. We got two more shows and then we are going to visit Jacob together. It’s time I meet him and hopefully he will be able to help us with what’s going on.”

Relief flooded through Anna, “We will go together?”

“Yeah, Sugar. And until then I’m not letting you out of my sight.”

Claire could see the intense looks that were being passed between them. “I am going to go have breakfast now.” She impulsively kissed Gerard on the cheek then quickly left the RV.

He grinned then sat down next to Anna, “I figured I knew what you were thinking. You had it in the beautiful head of yours that leaving me would be for my own good, right?”

Anna looked down at her floor, “Gee, you are in danger because of me.”

He titled her face to his, “It would kill me to lose you. You gotta know that by now. We’ll get through these next two dates then we’ll go see Jacob. Hell, if we need to we’ll ask Hudson for his help. But nothing, and I repeat, nothing is gonna tear us apart.”

Tears filled her eyes, “I was so afraid when I learned you had been given that drug. I thought I was going to lose you.”

He hugged her to him but his mind was racing, “I gotta ask something.” He said pulling back slightly so he could look into her eyes, “I was thinking a lot about this last night, “He paused again, “You said that shit could have killed me, right?”

Anna nodded blinking back tears.

He closed his eyes a moment then spoke words that were hard for him to say, “If you hadn’t gotten to me in time…it would have been my hope you let me die.”

Anna pulled away from him then stood.

“Anna, listen to me. It’s not that I would ever want to leave you but I know if you turned me you would face horrible consequences and I don’t want that to ever fuckin’ happen.”

“So you would rather die?”

“I would rather die then go on living and face the possibility that I would lose you. Don’t you get it? I don’t wanna be immortal if you aren’t at my side. I know if you turned me you’d face that fuckin’ council and I know what could happen.” He stood then moved closer to her, “I know I’m not supposed to even think about this shit now but I can’t help it. I want to be with you always, Anna. That I know in my heart. But not at the risk of you losing your life.”

His words had upset her, “Life? Gee do you not understand that without you I am dead?”

“Hey, I didn’t want to upset you.” He said trying to take her in his arms but she moved away hugging her arms around herself. “Anna, someday I want us to be together forever. I want to be turned but not by you, it can’t be you.”

She closed her eyes as the tears rolled down her cheeks, “No, I can not chance that.”

Her words confused him, “What?”

“If you are turned you will be turned correctly. You will not be like me. You will not feel the love we share.” She fell apart and began to sob, “This was all such a mistake. I should never have made my presence known to you, I can see that now.”

“You don’t know how I will be turned.” He tried to reason.

Anger and fear caused her eyes to flash, “I am a freak, Gerard. A fuckin’ freak. It is so rare for a Healer to be turned wrong. The chances of it happening to you are so small.”

Hopelessness washed over him making his own anger flare, “I fuckin’ told you never to call youself that again. You are not a freak. And it’s stupid for us to be having this conversation anyway.”

“Because it is a stupid conversation.” She screamed, “Stupid and pointless. This time right now is what we have. Now until you die is all we will ever have.” She pivoted, went into the bedroom then slammed the door closed.

Gerard fell onto the sofa covering his face with his hands. He understood her fear that he would be turned as a true Healer and he knew if that happened the love he felt for her and his family and friends would be gone. “Shit” He muttered feeling so helpless.



Gerard was leaving the RV when Bob and Claire returned from breakfast.

“Where ya goin’, man?” Bob asked.

“I’m gonna head over to the bus for a while.” Gerard answered, “Anna’s sleeping again and I think I’ll hang over there and get some work done on my comic.”

Claire could tell something was wrong, “Is Anna feeling poorly again?”

He looked directly into her eyes, “Yeah, and so am I.” He turned and walked away.

Bob touched Claire’s arm, “What’s up with that?” He too could tell something seemed amiss.

“I do not know.” She admitted, “Perhaps they had an argument. I will talk to Anna.”





Once they were underway again Claire gently knocked on the door to the bedroom. She entered once she heard Anna’s voice.

Claire saw Anna huddled on the bed with a blank expression on her face. “What has happened?”

“Where is Gee?” Anna asked softly.

“He went over to the bus. He said he has work to do on his comic.”

Anna closed her eyes, “He wanted to get away from me.”

Claire sat down next to her on the bed, “I am sure that is not why.”

“Yes, it is. He has realized the hopelessness of our relationship.”

Claire was clearly confused, “Hopelessness? I do not understand.”

“He told me that had I not been able to reach him in time it was his wish that I would let him die.”

Stunned Claire sat in silence for a moment then asked, “Did he say why?”

“He would not want my actions to be brought before the council.”

“Well I can understand that Anna. He does not want you to be hurt and you know as well as I do that if you turned someone you would face the wrath of the council. Gerard knows this so what he said was out of love for you.”

“I know.” Anna whispered, “But in his mind he still believes he could be turned by another so that we could always be together.”

“Oh” Claire suddenly understood, “Because he tries to forget what that could mean.”

“Yes and I have tried to explain that to him. I could not bear for him to be turned and become a true Healer with their lack of emotions. I could not bear for him not to feel the love he has now for his family and friends.”

Claire sat for several moments lost in thought, “Anna, have you ever wondered what would happen if he was turned by Jacob?”

Anna shook her head, “No, nor can I allow myself to think about that. I can not imagine Jacob turning him because I believe that Jacob has always carried much guilt that I was turned wrong. I can not imagine him wanting to chance turning another wrong.”

“But Jacob loves you.” Claire said passionately, “You know it is true. Jacob is a rare Pure who, no matter what he will admit, does love. I can not believe he feels guilt over your turning.”

“He does feel it.” Anna said softly, “As a Pure he realizes it was his duty to destroy me when he learned the truth but he could not make himself do what was expected. I have brought nothing but problems to those who love me.”

Claire leaned over and hugged her tightly, “Anna somehow deep inside I just feel that things will work out. I know you can not understand it but I do.”

Anna simply hugged Claire unable to speak.




“Hey.” Mikey said pushing back Gerard’s curtain on his bunk, “What’s up?”

“I was gonna work on my comic but I’m tired.” Gerard lied, “I was up with Anna last night and I need to get some shut eye.” He hoped Mikey would take the hint and leave.

“So is she still sick?” Mikey asked.

“Yeah, but she’s sleeping now which is good.”

Mikey nodded, “Well you get some sleep too.” He closed the curtain then continued down the hallway.

Alone in his bunk Gerard tried to close his eyes but sleep evaded him. While he realized what he’d said to Anna about turning him was out of love for her he wasn’t sure she completely understood. He hated that he’d upset her so much.

Opening his eyes he stared at the wall feeling so many emotions he was overwhelmed. For a brief moment he wondered what his life would be like had he never met her. A small voice in his head reminded him that he’d be dying of a brain tumor. Still she could have healed him then walked out of his life.

“Fuck, no.” He whispered. He couldn’t bear to think of his life without her. There just had to be a way and yet, sadly, he realized the truth. She was right, the time they had together was now. It gave him a small amount of comfort to know she’d never really leave him. He knew that even once she had to appear to leave his life she would find a way to stay with him. Tears threatened his eyes when he thought of his death, not for himself, but for her. Anna would be so alone.




Claire continued to try to comfort Anna but nothing she said could help the despair that she had fallen into.

Anna’s phone alerted her to a text but she ignored it.

Claire stood and retrieved the phone. “It is Gerard.” She said holding out the phone.

Still Anna did not move.

“Annabelle, stop this.” Claire said sternly, “You have come too far to give up.”

Anna’s head snapped up and her eyes flashed, “Do not speak to me in that fashion.”

Claire did not back down, “I will speak to you this way because I love you.” She squared her shoulders and said something she had heard her husband say, “So just deal with it.”

Immediately Anna regretted her words, “I am sorry, Claire.”

“Do not be sorry. It was good to see an emotion other than despair on your face. Now here.” She held out the phone again.

Anna took the phone and opened the text as Claire slipped from the room.


GERARD: I am a jackass

Anna read the text with a puzzled look on her face.

ANNA: Why?

GERARD: Because I could be holding you in my arms at this minute but I’m not.

A small smile came to Anna’s lips but her heart was still filled with sadness.

ANNA: I understand you need some time away from me.

He sighed as he read her text

GERARD: That is the one thing I don’t need.

ANNA: Gee I feel so confused.

Tears fell from her eyes when she read his response.

GERARD: Do you feel lost?

ANNA: Yes

GERARD: I understand that feeling but a beautiful woman helped me to find myself.

She stared down at the phone unable to answer.

GERARD: It will be okay. Somehow. I love you more that I can put into words.

ANNA: I feel the same.

She waited for his next text but was surprised when the RV suddenly came to a stop on the side of the road. Anna slipped from the bed, wiped her eyes then opened the door.

“Uh, had to stop for a passenger.” Bob laughed looking back at Anna.

Claire quickly stood then went to the door. She smiled at Gerard as he came on board.

He looked over at Bob, “Thanks.”

Bob shrugged, “No problem.”

Anna stood completely still as Gerard made his way towards her. Without a word he took her into his arms and kissed her passionately.

“So uh, gonna get underway again.” Bob laughed, “You too might wanna take a seat.”

As the RV pulled back on the road they walked into the bedroom.