Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Full Of Holes.

Pimp My Ride

by unitedsuck007 8 reviews

The boys get to their tour bus.And are less than satisfied.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor - Characters: Bob Bryar,Frank Iero,Gerard Way,Mikey Way,Ray Toro - Published: 2011-02-23 - Updated: 2011-02-23 - 1208 words

5Funny
Wow,my story was rated 5 and six reviews?????Crazy shit,lads,thanks a million!Workin on this at eleven at night with Nescafe and Law and Order for company....
"Well,"Ray finally said after minutes of stunned silence."It's......homely."
"Homely,Ray?"Lea questions."Oh yeah.Three mice sharing our bathroom and vomit-deco walls are so in right now."
"AARGH!Rats?!"shreiked Mikey."We have rats?!Oh God.I will not survive this."
"Not rats,you tool,justmice!"
I roll my eyes.Telling Mikey Way there are rodents of any kind within a five-mile radius of him is like telling Lindsay Lohan all the meth's gone.It's pointless,stupid and will end up upsetting them just as bad.
"Just mice,Ray?They're walking germ-factories!"His face is pulled into a terrifying scream."I'll get AIDS!"
Oh Christ above......
"You can get AIDS from mice?" yelps Shannon.
"GUYS."That's Frank,who is shaking with rage.God,he looks so sexy when he's angry......
Gerard.Stop.
"Will you look at yourselves?Bullshitting about mice and AIDS and crap......come on,who are we?We're My Chemical Fucking Romance.We don't take no shit,and certainly don't act like fucking pansy's when there's a few other house mates."(At this,Mikey made a hopeless little sob.)"This is our first tour and let's make it an awesome one.Okay?"
"Yeah,Frank's right,"Sarah says."What are we,fucking girls?"
"Uh....yeah?"Gia says,looking a tad perplexed.
"What about you,Gerard?"Montgomery asks,her voice laced with ice-cold venom."You've been awfully quiet about the whole shebang."
The whole band turn to me and look.Mikey has even stopped staring at the bathroom with horrified eyes to look at me.
"I agree with Frank.We are My Chemical Fucking Romance,best band of all time!"I punch the air with my fist.
"Well,"Mikey concedes,"Anthrax do kick major ass."
"Yes,but your band is better,Mikey.Way better."Frank rolls his eyes.He was never into metal,more into punk.
"All right,guys!"Maria shouts above the excited chatter."Unpack your shit!I'll be assigning rooms as I go along."
I start to empty my bag,and Maria comes around,clipboard in hand.
"Right,Gerard.....Gerard..."she mutters absentmindedly as she looks through her list."Ah yes,with Frank and Mikey."
No way.I need to be alone with Frank.
"Maria,"I beg,"can't Mikey share with someone else?I'm sure the girls would love to have him,he probably has more make-up and hair products than any of them.....and you know as well as I do he's the most effeminate person here........"
"Why?"she asks,raising an eyebrow.
"Well,Maria,do you have siblings?"
"Uh,yeah.A younger sister."
"Well then you know the pain!I've been living with Mikey my whole life!Aside from that,he's so annoying!He steals my shit,hides the remote and always leaves his damn hair straightener on so I step on it...I'll show the burn on my foot and everything!"
I thought this a rather good speech,but Maria was smart enough to see through my flimsy facade.
"Gerard,first off,you're twenty-eight,not seven.Secondly,look at him now.Does he look like someone who would intentionally burn his brother?"
We turn to Mikey,who is presently hugging a unicorn teddy.
"Well,not now,he's hugging that horse like a retard-"
"Answer's no,Gerard."She says,but a smile pulls at the side of her mouth.Then she grabs my arm tightly and whispers into my ear:
"Guess you two will have to have fun somewhere else."
She giggles and goes on to assign Bob his room.
X X X X
"Bags the bed!"Mikey shouts.
"No way,small fry,oldest gets the best,y'know,"I say,pushing him out of the way."After all,I could die in my sleep."I pull a puppy dog face."Would you want me to die in discomfort?"
"You're three fucking years older than me!"
"Whatevs,pip-squeak."I lie on the bed,hands behind my head.
"Stop saying shit like that!I'm fucking taller than you!"
"Whatever you say,half pint...."
"Well,"a wicked grin spread over his usually-neutral features,"if it's a double bed,and there's a mattress on the ground,then I'll be in the bed too!"
"Whoa,whoa,whoa,shortstop,"I say,getting off the bed."What makes ya think I'm sleeping with your bony-ass body?"
"So you're gonna sleep with Frank,are you-"
"Who's sleeping with me?"Frank walks in,throwing his bag on the ground.
"Gerard."Mikey says,giving up."I'm gonna go see if the other rooms are as fucking un-democratic as this one is...."
"BYE SHORTIE!"I yell.
"FUCK YOU!"He yells back.
"Whoa,"Frank chuckles,"what's all that about?"He gets on the bed with me.
OH MY GOD I AM IN A BED WITH FRANK IERO.WHAT IN CRAP'S NAME SHOULD I DO.
"Oh,just the results of Mikey being dropped on the floor as a kid,that's all."
"I see."
After a few minutes of pleasant silence,he props himself up on his elbow and looks into my eyes.
"Gee,are you,like.......okay?I mean,you know you can always talk to me,I'm your best friend."
TELL HIM.TELL HIM,TELL HIM RIGHT NOW,OR SO HELP ME... "Of course,Frank.I'm fine."
YOU LITTLE SHIT.
He's not satisfied.His eyes are clouded over and he creases his forehead.
"Are you sure?You're not.....on anything,are you?"
"No.....I...."
How the fuck can I lie to him?There's fucking E-tablets in my bag,less than three feet away from where we're lying.
"I swear to God,I will never fucking forgive McCrackhead for what he did to you.Stupid bastard,just fucks up everyone else's lives for a laugh-"a tear rolls down his cheek.
"Hey,hey now."I say,sitting up."Don't worry about things like that,Frankie.You don't need to worry about me.I'm doing great.Just great."I plaster a fake smile across my face.
"Oh,Gerard,that's awesome!"He sits up suddenly,throwing his arms around my neck.I hug him back and secretly inhale his maddening scent.I know it so well.Vanilla and cookie dough.Heaven.
We break the embrace and he gets off the bed."I'm gonna go hang out with the guys,you comin'?"
"Yeah,I'll be along in a sec."
He gives me a last smile and leaves.A conversation between him and Ray about the latest Epiphone tells me he's gone.
I sneak over to my bag and take out the little tablet.It's oddly pretty,a deep pink magenta.I swallow it and try to relax.
Sometimes,I really wish I wasn't such a good liar.
My apathetic mood is interrupted by Mikey squealing:
"OH MY GOD,GIA,YOU NEVER TOLD ME BROWN WAS YOUR NATURAL COLOUR!ME TOO!"
What a man.






hope that decent,did it during my guitar class today,lol!rate and review plz.or don't.see if i give a fuck.(i really do!)btw,Gia,I have no idea if brown is your natural colur,just made it up!:)xo lauren











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