FicWad

When I left the training hall, the Gerudo that guarded the entrance closed the gate and smiled at me.

“How was it?” she asked me.

“Uh, it was, um, good, I guess,” I said. “I passed the training.”

The Gerudo woman had wide eyes and said, “Really?”

“Yeah,” I said and smirked.

“Where will you be heading off to now?” the Gerudo woman asked and I replied, “I need to go to the Spirit Temple next.”

When I said that, the Gerudo woman put on a stern expression. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, girl,” she said harshly. “There hasn’t been a soul in that temple since Ganondorf was born. Anyway, you have to cross the Gerudo Desert to get there. Many go to the desert and many don’t return.”

I was a little intrigued, so I asked her some questions. “Why don’t people return?”

“The Gerudo Desert is vast so many get lost there,” she told me. “That’s not what will get you, though. There’s a vicious storm that has blew for hundreds of years and claimed hundreds of lives. I honestly don’t think that anyone has made it passed the desert and entered the Spirit Temple. Well, actually, there was one person who went there and came back.”

“Who was that?”

“She’s our leader, or at least she was,” the girl said. “Her name is Nabooru. She made a journey to go there as a teen and came back with weapon that was said to be in the Spirit Temple as proof that she actually made it there. However, things began to get bad for us quickly as Ganondorf became ruler and a foul storm brewed through the valley. Nabooru decided that it was her fault that the events were taking place, so she decided to return the weapon to the Spirit Temple to please the gods. She never returned, though the storm and Ganondorf both left.”

“Well, technically, Ganondorf is still here,” I said.

“You’re right,” the woman said, “but he’s no longer a threat to us in the meantime.”

“Why do you have no compassion for the people of Hyrule?” I asked angrily.

“Do you think they have compassion for us?” she snapped. “We sent many pleas to the King of Hyrule to help us, but he ignored them and became allies with Ganondorf. It serves him right to be killed by that man.”

I didn’t agree that he deserved to be killed, but I also didn’t agree with the King’s course of action. It was then that I realized that the Gerudo race must have been driven to the desert like they were a bunch of savages. The Gerudo people were angry, which led me to think for a split second that maybe Ganondorf was angry too. However, Ganondorf caused chaos among the Gerudo people, so he must have had his own goals when he came to Hyrule.

“Hyrule has been very unfair to you,” I said. “I apologize for any offense you might have taken from me.”

The woman smiled and said, “That’s fine. A lot of people just misunderstand us. I’m afraid that their opinions of us will continue to get worse however, seeing as Ganondorf is now ruling the land of Hyrule with an iron fist. We may never find peace with the Hylian people.”

“Well, I’ll make sure that Ganondorf’s reign is put to rest so that the Hylians may put their stereotypes aside,” I said. “I’ll make it to that Spirit Temple, even if the desert makes it difficult for me.”

“It won’t be easy,” the woman told me, “but good luck.”

I nodded to her and continued on my way. I wasn’t really sure what was up ahead, but I was extremely scared. I was kind of missing Link a little bit. Being scared was a lot easier to cope with when you had a partner. I started to wonder how he was doing as Lux and I walked towards the entrance of the Gerudo Desert. From what I had gathered, Link would be dealing with some darker stuff than I would be. Link would probably be in some damp, dark place, which didn’t actually seem that bad as the hot Gerudo sun pounded down on my skin.

I had to wait for a couple of the Gerudo women to open the entrance to the desert. To keep random people from going through, a huge, wooden gate was put up to separate the fortress from the desert. If one wanted to enter the desert, they needed to have the gatekeepers pull ropes and put the gate up. They gave me the okay to walk through and, as soon as I was clear, they dropped the gate. A gatekeeper was always stationed there, so if I came in through the night, someone would surely help me.

The Gerudo woman was right. A windstorm was blowing violently through the desert, which caused sand to kick up and rush into anyone who walked through. The beads of sand hit my body and made it so that I had trouble seeing in front of me. I had to put my arm up to shield my eyes from the storm. It wasn’t much help, but I was able to see a bit better. Lux, on the other hand, was having trouble walking with me, as the wind was too strong for him. His thin tail was blowing fiercely with the wind.

As we walked farther into the desert, I started to see something in the distance. I decided to investigate, so I walked closer to this object and discovered that it was a wooden pole and on that pole was a ripped flag, which I had seen all over Gerudo Fortress. I looked out a bit further and saw another blurry object, but it seemed to look like another flag. I found it odd that there were two flags close to each other.

I shrugged and decided to continue on, dismissing the whole flag thing. A couple steps later, I discovered why the flags were apart. In just one step, I felt half of my leg sink into thick, wet sand that seemed to flow like a river. Fortunately, I was able to jump backwards, which was strong enough to get my leg out of the quick sand. I fell backwards right beside Lux.

“Raichu!” he shouted and sounded worried.

“It’s alright Lux,” I said as I sat up. I patted his head and he smiled, removing the worried expression from his face. I stood up and tried to wipe the sand off my body, but realized that was pretty much useless.

I needed to figure out how to get across the river of quicksand. Since the pole across was most likely made of wood like the one behind me, I could use my hookshot to get to the other side with no problem. I lifted Lux up to my shoulder and asked him to hold onto the collar of my tunic. I took the hookshot off my belt and held it steady, trying to aim straight for the pole without missing. With one push of the trigger, a spear held on by a chain shot out and, in a split second, the spear at the end pierced the wooden pole.

“Hold on, Lux,” I said and, with my free hand, I held onto the top of my hat. With another pull of the trigger, the chain went back into the hookshot and flung Lux and I forward, right across the quicksand. Once we hit the ground, I pulled the trigger to stop the chain from going any further and walked to the pole. The spear was in there rather deep but, with some wiggling, I was able to get the spear to come out and then let the chain go back into the hookshot completely.

I looked forward and once again saw another pole, so I cautiously looked at the ground I was walking on to make sure that I didn’t walk right in to some more quicksand. I was getting closer to the next pole so I anticipated running into some sort of quicksand, but I didn’t. I was able to get to the next flag without any type of issues. But, there was something else beside the flag.

Covered in sand was a small, wooden sign. I used my hand to clear most of the sand and found a message on the board. On it was an arrow that pointed to the left and it said: “Need help? Come to Jose’s. Keep left and don’t be scared if you don’t see a flag.”

I pondered whether to follow the sign, but I did know that I needed help, so I decided to give Jose a visit just to see what kind of help he had to offer. I honestly had no idea how to navigate through the stupid desert anyway, so I definitely could have used some insight. So, I kept walking right and eventually found another sign. It said: “You’re getting closer and closer, my friend. Keep at it to get help from Jose.”

Right after that statement, there was a nice smiley face, which made me feel better. It was when I kept going that I began to feel a little ill. In the distance, I could see a huge pit, which wasn’t too promising. I continued on anyway, still having to shield my eyes from the ever growing sandstorm.

As I got closer, I saw that there was a pier that extended over the pit. Once I stepped on the pier, I began to see the figure of a rather hairy man. As I got closer, I saw that the man was floating. The actual sandstorm disappeared.

“Eeeeh, do I see a womean out ‘dere?” I could hear the man say. He had a thick Spanish accent, so he must have been Jose. I decided it was safe to keep walking and when I got to a certain point I could a big pit of quicksand below me. “Eeeeh, don’ be a-frayed,” the man said.

I took the guy’s word for it, or at least the words I could understand, and started to walk down the pier. As I got closer, I realized that the man wasn’t floating all by himself. This guy had a mammoth sized magic carpet. That carpet must have been the help I was looking for. With that thing, he could fly me over to the Spirit Temple in no time. There was only one problem. Once I reach the end of the pier, I realized that he was rather far away.

“Um, could you scoot this rug up a bit,” I asked. “I can’t really jump that far.”

“No ken do,” Jose said.

“And why not?” I snapped.

“Dis is just part of thee adveanture,” he said. “You ken do eat.”

“I don’t think so. Just move this thing up a bit and-“

“Whut are you, cheeeken?” he asked.

“You mean chicken?”

“No, cheeeken.”

“No, I’m not ‘cheeeken,’ I’m just a realist. There’s no way I can jump all the way over there without falling into that quicksand.”

“I theenk you ken do eat. Jus’ go fo eat.”

Reader, this guy was stupid. There was no way I could jump as far as he wanted me to, but I needed to do as he said so I could get on that stupid carpet and he could transport me to the stupid temple. I looked down at Lux and said, “Go ahead and jump over. I know that you can make it.”

Lux looked puzzled, but did as I said anyway. Once he made it over safely, I decided to back up. If I could get a decent running start and then do some sort of roll, I could probably make it over. Oh, and by make it over, I mean barely make it over.

So, I did just that and, of course, I barely made it. I didn’t actually land on the carpet, but I grabbed on to the end piece and made my way up from there. When I was able to successfully stand up on the carpet, I looked over at Jose, who was sitting with his legs crossed. From his long, hairy beard I could see his white toothed smile gleaming back at me.

“See, I told you dat you ken doo eat,” he said.

“Yeah, yeah,” I said and tried to sound annoyed so maybe this guy would take a hint. “Anyway, can you just take me to the temple?”

“Whut?” he asked so I repeated my last statement and he just stared at me for like, twenty seconds.

“Ya know, the Spirit Temple. Your sign said that you would help me get there.”

“Aktually, eat deedint,” he said. “My sign wus an advotisement for my bissness. I sell theengs.”

“So, this flying carpet is just a store?”

“Yeesh,” he said.

I looked to the side and sighed. I wanted to cry. I didn’t even think I would be able to find my way back to the right path again. I would end up dying her all because of some hairy Spanish guy. But, what the hell, I might as well have gotten the best of it.

“Okay then,” I said, “what do you sell?”

“I have a varieaty of wears,” he said. “First, I ‘ave dis.” And, he pulled from his beard what looked to be a mouse.

“What the hell is that?” I said, but I kept calm. This guy obviously had some issues.

“Dis eis a Bombchu,” he said. “Eat ecplodes.” The poor little mouse scurried in the air as Jose held him by his thin, little tail.

“How does it explode, exactly?”

“Weelll, to make ‘im ecplode, you neid a mini-boom.” And, of course, Jose pulled a small device from his beard. It was circular and had a harness on it. “All you neid to do is tie dis on thee leattle guy. Once eat is secure, let ‘im go. ‘E will deen scurry and ecplode.”

“What are these ‘mini-booms’ made out of?” I asked.

“I maide thee concoction myself,” he said. “Eat’s maide of my hair, a steeck, a tv remote, two gallons of appeeel cider, an’ ureane from my cat, Juabone.”

“Juabone?”

“Eat meens big balls een Hylian. Thee balls make a lot of ureane.”

“Yeah, sure,” I said and was very disappointed. The beam of hope this Jose’s sign gave me was just dowsed in the urine of his big testicled cat. “Anyway, I’ll tell you what. If you fly me to the Spirit Temple, I’ll give you all of the rupees I have in my possession.”

“I wuld do dat, but dere’s one problem,” he said. “I don’t know ‘ow to drive dis theeng.”

“Then how the hell did you get this carpet?”

“I don’t know,” he said and he scratched his head. “I don’t remeamber.”

“Then let me try to drive it,” I said.

“I kent let you do dat,” he said. “Dis is my shop. Enyway, you ken meake it to thee tempeel from thee desert. Jus follow thee flags.”

“Well, I know that,” I snapped.

“You shuld go-“

“I know where to go. I can do this without you.”

I turned around and was going to make an angry exit, but I realized that the pier was too far away. “Wait a second,” I said, a little embarrassed. I looked around for some way to move the stupid carpet, but couldn’t see anything. I looked over at Jose who had a smile on his face and noticed there was something behind him.

I walked around him and saw a steering wheel, a red stool, and two pedals. “What the heck is this?” I asked him and he turned around.

“I don’t know, amigo,” he said. “Sumtimes, during thee weeenter, I use eat as a Christmass treeee.”

I was on my last nerve with this guy, so I sat down at the stool and grabbed the steering wheel. “Hold on tight, Jose,” I said. “You too, Lux.”

“Whut are you doooeng?” he asked.

I decided to surprise him and just take off like the badass I was, so I put my foot on the left pedal and kicked it all the way down. Instead of taking off, however, the carpet stopped floating and started to fall towards the pit. I looked in front of me and saw Jose’s hair flying wildly in the air.

“Other pedall,” he shouted.

I pulled the steering wheel back and hit the other pedal, taking off at full speed in the air. I pulled the steering wheel forward a little while still keeping my foot on the gas and we started going straight forward rather than up. I turned the carpet around and started at full speed towards the flags.

“Where are you takeng meee?” Jose asked.

“The Spirit Temple, of course,” I said. I looked forward and saw the first flag, so I began to look for the next. Once I saw the next flag, I went towards it and then continued doing the same thing until I made it to the temple itself.

The sandstorm just disappeared out of nowhere and I was able to see the temple clearly. Above the entrance of the temple was a carving of a lady, who I assumed with a sand god or something. I was a little confused as to why there was another goddess, seeing as there were only three, but I dismissed the thought. Seeing as the Gerudo people were segregated from the rest of Hyrule, they must have created their own goddess.

I pulled the wheel forward just a tad to have its nose go towards the ground. Once I was close to crashing, I pulled the wheel back to level the carpet out. I pressed the brake and held it and the carpet landed on the hot, golden sand.

“Where are wee?” Jose asked.

“The temple, of course,” I said and I took out my wallet. “Here, I promised you all that I had.” I handed him about seven hundred rupees and he smiled.

“Weell, you ken have dis, dhen,” he said and handed me a rat and the mini-boom device.

I hesitated, but grabbed the rat’s tail and then took the mini-boom. “Uh, thanks, I guess.”

“Now, I weel be on my way,” Jose said and he sat at the stool. I jumped off with Lux and he started the thing up.

“Wait, I thought you said you couldn’t drive this thing,” I said.

“I deed,” he said, “but learning to drive a mageak carpet eis all part of thee adveanture.” And with that, he took off in the sky.

I looked down at Lux who looked up at the rat who was scurrying in the air. I decided to keep him around, so I opened a pouch on my belt and put him in it, letting his little head stick out to see the action. As for the mini-boom, I just threw that on the ground.

We walked towards the temple, unsure of what awaited us as the hot sun beamed down upon us. It wouldn’t be long before I would have to battle the dark me and awaken the next sage. But the difference was that, this time, I would have to do this all by myself.