Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Married in the life of Ryden
Day One 11:08am:
“Hey guys Im back!!! Guess what’s for lunch! Guys?” Andy came back with bags in each hand, to find Joe talking in his sleep on the sofa, Pete and Patrick nowhere to be found.
“Oi Joe, wake up!”
“AsdfgfghhjkldjgcookiesbjgisorjbvjsocksgopdjfgperiAHH! Fuck Andy! You scared the crap outta me! What? Bags? Oh food, good” Joe reached into one of the bags Andy was holding and retrieved a pack of digestives. “NOM! Oh look you got a whole bag of oranges! SWEET! Hey wait! Andy, don’t go into there!” Joe got up to watch Andy open the door of the game room, where he saw Pete and Patrick kissing, leaning up against the space invaders game.
“What the.....” Andy closed the door and walked back into the kitchen/living room combo, shocked, where Joe was eating digestives, peeling an orange and trying not to laugh.
“POSTIT NOTES! SOCKS! Dude you’re so good at shopping!” Joe said while pulling off his ‘used to be white but are now brown’ socks and slipped on his blue ones. “Ahh they’re so WARM!!” Joe looked up at Andy, who hadn’t moved, and still had the shocked expression on his face. Joe burst out laughing, pulled off a postit note, wrote DORK on it and stuck it to Andy’s forehead. Andy took it off, screwed it up and threw it back at Joe, who deflected it with a surprisingly good karate chop. Joe started to laugh again.
“Why are you laughing? I, I can’t believe it!” Andy looked sad and confused.
“Dude, I knew all along, and they weren’t all that secretive, how could you not tell! The whispering and giggling, the 'strongdoms' everywhere, the empty bunk, and the noises! Why do you look so sad about it? Is it because you’re gay and you have the hots for one of then? Because dude...”
“HOW THE FUCKING FUCK DID YOU KNOW!!! Oh god...” Andy climbed underneath the table and got out his stress ball, rocking back and forth like a little girl.
“First of all dude, get out from under the table, you look like a little kid, and you’re not. Second, a stress ball? Seriously? You look so gay squeezing that thing! Oh wait, you are!” Joe stopped to laugh at his own bad joke, shoved a digestive in his mouth then carried on. “None of you are very secretive around here; I can open doors you know? And I have eyes and ears which I now have to pull out and cut off. And third, its okay Andy, you can talk to me about its, its okay to be gay! Seeing as Im the only straight guy in this place, Im considering becoming gay too!” Joe said sarcastically, laughing and putting his feet on the table.
“You’re so insensitive sometimes Joe, but I get what you’re saying” Andy got up and sat next to Joe, smiling.
“So who is it?” Joe prodded Andy, making Andy blush and giggle in a totally gay way. “C’mon dude, you can tell me, I can keep secrets” Joe looked serious now, but with digestive crumbs in his beard, Andy couldn’t help but burst out laughing.
“You’ve got crumbs all in your beard mate, and its Pete. Ill never play space invaders again...” Andy watched Joe shake out the crumbs in his beard like a dog, and then they just sat there in the silence for a while.
“Well that’s okay dude are you gonna tell him?”
Day One 18:43pm:
“Im, Im b-back” Jon said, staggering through the kitchen, and then he fell over, leaving him lying on the floor.
“Fuck! Jon what have you been doing today!?” Brendon picked him up and sat him on a chair.
“Ryan probably told you about what I told him this morning, can you please get me a glass of water?” Jon put his head on the table and burped.
“Yeah okay, and I suppose I do know about it, but do you want to talk? You never talk to me” Brendon put the glass of water p on the table next to Jones head and put his hand on Jon’s shoulder.
“But it’s not on purpose though Brendon. Where is Ryan anyway?”
“upstairs, he’s just trying to find his blue tie amongst the mountains of other clothes he bought today” Brendon stopped and shook his head in fake disappointment. “c’mon, just please, tell me what happened” Brendon smiled as Jon lifted his head.
“Wow, you two really are gay aren’t you?! Look, I smoked one, I don’t think I got high, but then we had some alcohol. I, I don’t know what happened!! I feel as rough as hell” Jon put his head in his hands and cried. After a while he got up and threw up in the sink.
“Son, look it doesn’t matter, you’ll probably get a killer hangover though, so drink the water, ill go get you dome crackers okay? RYAN! JON’S BACK!” Brendon shouted up the stairs and put a pack of crackers on the table. Jon reluctantly picked at them, while Brendon turned the taps on, washing the alcohol smelling puke down the sink.
“Well, it’s the cities problem now” Brendon joked as he wiped the sink clean.
“Oh, you okay Jon?” Ryan hugged him, looking really worried.
“Don’t worry Ry, hell be fine, hell just have a hangover” Brendon hugged Ryan reassuringly then started sorting out his tie, which was too loose and wonky.
“So why are you wearing a tie? It’s just the boys!” Brendon asked as he adjusted the tie, figuring out how to go about it without accidently strangling Ryan.
“I know it’s just the boys, but I wanted to wear my new tie! So I am. Is that okay?” Ryan pressed Brendon’s nose like a button, making Brendon poke his tongue out at Ryan.
“Didn’t say it wasn’t honey, Im just saying, I might lose you to Patrick!” Brendon smiled and Ryan shook his head. “One day Ry, you’ll learn how to do your own tie” Brendon said as he finished dressing Ryan. Jon started laughing as Ryan and Brendon kissed.
“One day when I stop loving you” Ryan grinned “what’s so funny?” Ryan asked Jon over Brendon’s shoulder.
“What Brendon just said rhymed; you guys are just too gay!” Jon slurred through his sentence then fell asleep.
“I'll take him upstairs” Brendon told Ryan, and as Brendon picked Jon up, the bell rang.
Day One 19:02pm:
“So Pete, I know this might be a bit of a touchy subject to discuss over dinner, but how do you deal with your being bipolar? If you don’t mid” Ryan tentatively asked Pete while serving more drinks.
“Oh god no, I don’t mind at all! Brendon told me Jon’s having a bit of a hard time trying to deal with it, but seriously, don’t hesitate to ask!” he waved his fork around a bit then speared a chunk of chicken. “Well does he take any medicine” Pete finished his question then shoved the forkful of chicken in his mouth, turned to look at Patrick, then smiled goofily.
“No, he doesn’t, he didn’t want to go to the doctors, but do you think it will help?” Ryan looked down the table where there was an empty seat. Jon was upstairs sleeping but nobody asked any questions.
“Yeah, since I’ve started talking the medicine, I almost NEVER turn odd” Pete said through a mouthful of potato. Patrick tapped his shoulder as it to say don’t talk with your mouth full or ill use my gay powers on you Pete looked at Patrick apologetically, and they smiled at each other.
“So yeah! You guys are together aren’t you!? Im so happy for you guys!” it was Brendon’s turn to wave his fork at Pete and Patrick, while Andy looked enviously at Patrick.
“Thanks mate! Oh hey! Did you know Ashlee's coming over with Bronx in two days! I can’t wait!” Pete exclaimed to the whole table.
“Who’s Ashlee? Who’s Bronx?” Spencer asked Pete, lifting his head up from his and Joe’s exchange of jokes.
“She’s my ex wife, when I figured out I was gay, we spilt up. She’s very understanding. And Bronx is my two year old son, Ashlee brings him around from Wednesdays to Saturdays, little guy is my world, well, him and Patrick” Pete looked at Patrick and smiled. Andy downed his drink and poured himself another one in a hurry.
“Anyway, so ill book a doctors appointment for tomorrow with Jon, see if we can get him some medicine” Ryan looked at Andy weirdly as Andy chugged another glass. He burped and apologised, which Ryan responded to with a don’t worry wave and a thumbs up. Ryan was eating and doesn’t like talking with his mouth full. Fair enough. Ryan jumped and gulped down his mouthful of food in sudden shock as the sudden roar of Joe’s laughter boomed over all the dinner talk.
“Hahahahahaha Spence, god you have to tell that to everyone!” the table fell silent as Spencer’s cheeks went bright red.
“Umm, well, why did the girl fall off the swing?”
“go on Spence, heheheheheh” Joe cheered him on, sniggering while trying to eat.
“Because someone threw a fridge at her” the table erupted with laughs (mainly from Joe) and 'awws', it was so sweet and simple, but kind of politically incorrect, which when told by an innocent kid, made a crap joke cute, I guess.
Spencer made his was to bed shortly after dinner but stopped when Joe broke out the board games.
“Can I play?” Spencer asked from the doorway, wearing his power ranger pyjamas and holding his little blue teddy he’s had since he was born.
“Of course you can Specie, but not for too long okay?” Ryan caught Spencer as he jumped into Ryan’s lap (narrowly missing certain areas) they sat there playing monopoly, and when Spencer fell asleep in Ryan lap, Joe carried him to bed. Joe has always loved Spencer since Ryan and Brendon adopted him, and treated him like a son.
After Pete, Patrick, Andy and Joe had left, Ryan and Brendon checked in on Jon, who was snoring loudly. After, they made their way to their bedroom and started their nightly routine. Pete gave Patrick a piggy back home, Patrick earning death glares from Andy, and Joe staggered home, beer in hand muttering “who threw the fridge? Who would do that!? You see a girl on a swing, YOU DONT THROW A FIRDGE! Tut, tut, tut, A FRIDGE!!!” Joe was drunk, and passed out on the sofa minutes after walking into the caravan. Andy listened to soft reggae as he fell asleep in his bunk, while cuddling his snuggly time lavender smelling duck. Pete and Patrick retreated to the game room, to ‘invent’ a game. It was a good night.
“Hey guys Im back!!! Guess what’s for lunch! Guys?” Andy came back with bags in each hand, to find Joe talking in his sleep on the sofa, Pete and Patrick nowhere to be found.
“Oi Joe, wake up!”
“AsdfgfghhjkldjgcookiesbjgisorjbvjsocksgopdjfgperiAHH! Fuck Andy! You scared the crap outta me! What? Bags? Oh food, good” Joe reached into one of the bags Andy was holding and retrieved a pack of digestives. “NOM! Oh look you got a whole bag of oranges! SWEET! Hey wait! Andy, don’t go into there!” Joe got up to watch Andy open the door of the game room, where he saw Pete and Patrick kissing, leaning up against the space invaders game.
“What the.....” Andy closed the door and walked back into the kitchen/living room combo, shocked, where Joe was eating digestives, peeling an orange and trying not to laugh.
“POSTIT NOTES! SOCKS! Dude you’re so good at shopping!” Joe said while pulling off his ‘used to be white but are now brown’ socks and slipped on his blue ones. “Ahh they’re so WARM!!” Joe looked up at Andy, who hadn’t moved, and still had the shocked expression on his face. Joe burst out laughing, pulled off a postit note, wrote DORK on it and stuck it to Andy’s forehead. Andy took it off, screwed it up and threw it back at Joe, who deflected it with a surprisingly good karate chop. Joe started to laugh again.
“Why are you laughing? I, I can’t believe it!” Andy looked sad and confused.
“Dude, I knew all along, and they weren’t all that secretive, how could you not tell! The whispering and giggling, the 'strongdoms' everywhere, the empty bunk, and the noises! Why do you look so sad about it? Is it because you’re gay and you have the hots for one of then? Because dude...”
“HOW THE FUCKING FUCK DID YOU KNOW!!! Oh god...” Andy climbed underneath the table and got out his stress ball, rocking back and forth like a little girl.
“First of all dude, get out from under the table, you look like a little kid, and you’re not. Second, a stress ball? Seriously? You look so gay squeezing that thing! Oh wait, you are!” Joe stopped to laugh at his own bad joke, shoved a digestive in his mouth then carried on. “None of you are very secretive around here; I can open doors you know? And I have eyes and ears which I now have to pull out and cut off. And third, its okay Andy, you can talk to me about its, its okay to be gay! Seeing as Im the only straight guy in this place, Im considering becoming gay too!” Joe said sarcastically, laughing and putting his feet on the table.
“You’re so insensitive sometimes Joe, but I get what you’re saying” Andy got up and sat next to Joe, smiling.
“So who is it?” Joe prodded Andy, making Andy blush and giggle in a totally gay way. “C’mon dude, you can tell me, I can keep secrets” Joe looked serious now, but with digestive crumbs in his beard, Andy couldn’t help but burst out laughing.
“You’ve got crumbs all in your beard mate, and its Pete. Ill never play space invaders again...” Andy watched Joe shake out the crumbs in his beard like a dog, and then they just sat there in the silence for a while.
“Well that’s okay dude are you gonna tell him?”
Day One 18:43pm:
“Im, Im b-back” Jon said, staggering through the kitchen, and then he fell over, leaving him lying on the floor.
“Fuck! Jon what have you been doing today!?” Brendon picked him up and sat him on a chair.
“Ryan probably told you about what I told him this morning, can you please get me a glass of water?” Jon put his head on the table and burped.
“Yeah okay, and I suppose I do know about it, but do you want to talk? You never talk to me” Brendon put the glass of water p on the table next to Jones head and put his hand on Jon’s shoulder.
“But it’s not on purpose though Brendon. Where is Ryan anyway?”
“upstairs, he’s just trying to find his blue tie amongst the mountains of other clothes he bought today” Brendon stopped and shook his head in fake disappointment. “c’mon, just please, tell me what happened” Brendon smiled as Jon lifted his head.
“Wow, you two really are gay aren’t you?! Look, I smoked one, I don’t think I got high, but then we had some alcohol. I, I don’t know what happened!! I feel as rough as hell” Jon put his head in his hands and cried. After a while he got up and threw up in the sink.
“Son, look it doesn’t matter, you’ll probably get a killer hangover though, so drink the water, ill go get you dome crackers okay? RYAN! JON’S BACK!” Brendon shouted up the stairs and put a pack of crackers on the table. Jon reluctantly picked at them, while Brendon turned the taps on, washing the alcohol smelling puke down the sink.
“Well, it’s the cities problem now” Brendon joked as he wiped the sink clean.
“Oh, you okay Jon?” Ryan hugged him, looking really worried.
“Don’t worry Ry, hell be fine, hell just have a hangover” Brendon hugged Ryan reassuringly then started sorting out his tie, which was too loose and wonky.
“So why are you wearing a tie? It’s just the boys!” Brendon asked as he adjusted the tie, figuring out how to go about it without accidently strangling Ryan.
“I know it’s just the boys, but I wanted to wear my new tie! So I am. Is that okay?” Ryan pressed Brendon’s nose like a button, making Brendon poke his tongue out at Ryan.
“Didn’t say it wasn’t honey, Im just saying, I might lose you to Patrick!” Brendon smiled and Ryan shook his head. “One day Ry, you’ll learn how to do your own tie” Brendon said as he finished dressing Ryan. Jon started laughing as Ryan and Brendon kissed.
“One day when I stop loving you” Ryan grinned “what’s so funny?” Ryan asked Jon over Brendon’s shoulder.
“What Brendon just said rhymed; you guys are just too gay!” Jon slurred through his sentence then fell asleep.
“I'll take him upstairs” Brendon told Ryan, and as Brendon picked Jon up, the bell rang.
Day One 19:02pm:
“So Pete, I know this might be a bit of a touchy subject to discuss over dinner, but how do you deal with your being bipolar? If you don’t mid” Ryan tentatively asked Pete while serving more drinks.
“Oh god no, I don’t mind at all! Brendon told me Jon’s having a bit of a hard time trying to deal with it, but seriously, don’t hesitate to ask!” he waved his fork around a bit then speared a chunk of chicken. “Well does he take any medicine” Pete finished his question then shoved the forkful of chicken in his mouth, turned to look at Patrick, then smiled goofily.
“No, he doesn’t, he didn’t want to go to the doctors, but do you think it will help?” Ryan looked down the table where there was an empty seat. Jon was upstairs sleeping but nobody asked any questions.
“Yeah, since I’ve started talking the medicine, I almost NEVER turn odd” Pete said through a mouthful of potato. Patrick tapped his shoulder as it to say don’t talk with your mouth full or ill use my gay powers on you Pete looked at Patrick apologetically, and they smiled at each other.
“So yeah! You guys are together aren’t you!? Im so happy for you guys!” it was Brendon’s turn to wave his fork at Pete and Patrick, while Andy looked enviously at Patrick.
“Thanks mate! Oh hey! Did you know Ashlee's coming over with Bronx in two days! I can’t wait!” Pete exclaimed to the whole table.
“Who’s Ashlee? Who’s Bronx?” Spencer asked Pete, lifting his head up from his and Joe’s exchange of jokes.
“She’s my ex wife, when I figured out I was gay, we spilt up. She’s very understanding. And Bronx is my two year old son, Ashlee brings him around from Wednesdays to Saturdays, little guy is my world, well, him and Patrick” Pete looked at Patrick and smiled. Andy downed his drink and poured himself another one in a hurry.
“Anyway, so ill book a doctors appointment for tomorrow with Jon, see if we can get him some medicine” Ryan looked at Andy weirdly as Andy chugged another glass. He burped and apologised, which Ryan responded to with a don’t worry wave and a thumbs up. Ryan was eating and doesn’t like talking with his mouth full. Fair enough. Ryan jumped and gulped down his mouthful of food in sudden shock as the sudden roar of Joe’s laughter boomed over all the dinner talk.
“Hahahahahaha Spence, god you have to tell that to everyone!” the table fell silent as Spencer’s cheeks went bright red.
“Umm, well, why did the girl fall off the swing?”
“go on Spence, heheheheheh” Joe cheered him on, sniggering while trying to eat.
“Because someone threw a fridge at her” the table erupted with laughs (mainly from Joe) and 'awws', it was so sweet and simple, but kind of politically incorrect, which when told by an innocent kid, made a crap joke cute, I guess.
Spencer made his was to bed shortly after dinner but stopped when Joe broke out the board games.
“Can I play?” Spencer asked from the doorway, wearing his power ranger pyjamas and holding his little blue teddy he’s had since he was born.
“Of course you can Specie, but not for too long okay?” Ryan caught Spencer as he jumped into Ryan’s lap (narrowly missing certain areas) they sat there playing monopoly, and when Spencer fell asleep in Ryan lap, Joe carried him to bed. Joe has always loved Spencer since Ryan and Brendon adopted him, and treated him like a son.
After Pete, Patrick, Andy and Joe had left, Ryan and Brendon checked in on Jon, who was snoring loudly. After, they made their way to their bedroom and started their nightly routine. Pete gave Patrick a piggy back home, Patrick earning death glares from Andy, and Joe staggered home, beer in hand muttering “who threw the fridge? Who would do that!? You see a girl on a swing, YOU DONT THROW A FIRDGE! Tut, tut, tut, A FRIDGE!!!” Joe was drunk, and passed out on the sofa minutes after walking into the caravan. Andy listened to soft reggae as he fell asleep in his bunk, while cuddling his snuggly time lavender smelling duck. Pete and Patrick retreated to the game room, to ‘invent’ a game. It was a good night.
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