Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Life Is Full of False Hopes
The Final Hour In An Abondond House.
2 reviewsI used to be a normal teenage boy, well maybe not 'normal.' But at least I used to have a normal life. That was, until my family left me.
3Moving
I threw the pair of neatly folded jeans into my bag, and they slightly unfolded in the process. I wiped the tears that were welling up in my eyes away angrily and walked over to the other side of the room, picking up my violin and putting it into it's case gingerly. My mind wouldn't stop running, I couldn't stop thinking for a moment. All the sadness I had in me was turning into anger, which wasn't helping. I picked up my violin case and put it next to my small suitcase that held just about everything I owned. Well, everything that I would own. The rest of it had to be sold to help pay for the funeral. Which was bullshit because my parents had plenty of money to pay for it. And now They were gone.
I felt a tear run down my cheek and wiped it away quickly. They were gone, and they weren't coming back. The worst part? It was all my fault. If I hadn't insisted on learning how to play the piano, then it wouldn't have happened. They wouldn't have been on their way to pick me up in the rain to go out to dinner. They wouldn't have been hit by that damned drunk driver. And what form of punishment did that drunk driver get for killing my mom, dad, and sister? Nothing. What did I get? The loss of my life. My family was gone, and now I had to go live with my mothers sister, her god damned husband, and their stupid kid. I hated them, and they hated me. And I had to fucking live with them. I ruined two perfectly good family's in one week.
Remembering all of those times that I sat and watched the rest of my family eating pancakes that my sister and mom made while my dad rambled on about statistics that didn't matter, I just sat there on the sidelines. I was always an outsider looking in. And I insisted on learning how to play the piano, and They let me. Now They were dead because They were trying to pick me up.
And now my mothers sisters family had to deal with me, while also paying for the funeral that they didn't even bother to attend. Then again, they really shouldn't be complaining. They got all of my parents money. All. Of. It. So why did I have to sell just about everything I owned for a shitty funeral of three? Because they were greedy, and they didn't want me moving with that many things. Not that I had that many. Just various instruments.
I sighed, wiping the tears away as I picked up the old book my sister gave me for my birthday a few years ago. She was my best fucking friend. Hell, she was my ONLY friend. She was the first -and only- person I told when I found out I was gay. I told her just about everything. Except for the cutting, I thought it best to keep that to myself. I put the book down in my carry-on with my CD's, my headphones, and my CD player. Why did They have to leave me?
I remember the funeral. All of these people I didn't know that knew Them all so well. I knew nothing about Them, even if I lived with Them. It was ridiculous. They all walked up to me, apologizing for my loss. Telling me how sorry they were, and how sad I must be. I still hadn't allowed myself to cry yet. Sure, a few tears would slip past my eyes, but I didn't want to cry. Even though They left me.
I hated this. I didn't want to move. I wanted to stay in this empty house forever, only having bad memories to accompany me. My parents really weren't all that horrible. They only got made at me when I didn't get 100% and up on everything, and it really was only when They were mad that They took notice of me. It's also when They became violent. My sister never said anything about it, she knew I was the unloved child. That she would always be better than me in Their eyes. I never really cared. I only cared when They told me how disappointed They were in me, when They said I would never amount up to anything. And now They were dead. They fucking left me.
I looked around my empty room, feeling chills as I did so. This was the last time I would ever be in it. I smiled at the colorful walls, one was painted green, another hot pink, one purple, and the last one white with black music lines and notes painted on it, accompanied by some lyrics that were also painted in black. I chewed on my nail, looking at the empty book shelf, and the bed without sheets. It was funny really, the room resembled me now more than it ever did. It still looked like me, it looked like everything I wanted it to look like, but on the inside it was hollow and abandoned.
I felt tears pricking at the corner of my eyes again, and quickly grabbed my small suitcase, messenger bag, and my violin case before walking out of the room. I closed the door, and ran my fingers over the hole in it. It was a shallow hole, it only went halfway through the door. It was made by my mother when she found out I had a low B in one of my classes. She was so angry with me, she tried to knock down the door to my room. And then she ignored me for a week. My sister felt so bad about it, she got me a nice $30. pocket watch. I loved it and always had it on me. She knew me well enough to get a pocket watch that's clock face went backwards. Why the hell did They have to fucking leave me?
I walked down the hall, carrying the three bags with me as I looked at all of the happy pictures that were plastered on the wall. Not one of them had me in it. I picked one up that was supposed to be a family portrait -even though it was missing me- and I put it in my messenger bag. I walked down the stairs that I had walked down so many times. I had also been pushed and thrown down them by my father. He had his reasons of course. I was always screwing up. I had decided that I had to have been a masochist, because no one would purposely screw up if they knew they would be harmed for it, unless they liked it. I sighed as I walked towards the front door. I didn't want to leave, but They left me. They left me all by myself in a fucked up world. In the middle of the god damned summer. And even though I had never really been close to my parents, and my sister hadn't been close to me -even if I was close to her- I missed Them. I missed Them so much it felt like my heart was going to exploded.
They were all I had, and They left me.
I sighed, opened the door, walked out, and closed it for the last time.
I can't believe They fucking left me.
~~~~~
I'm not sure if I want to continue this story or not, it might just leave it as it is. So tell me if you want me to continue, if not then I'll just leave it alone. Either way, I hope you liked it, and that reading it wasn't a complete waste of time.
-xoxo Pansy.
I felt a tear run down my cheek and wiped it away quickly. They were gone, and they weren't coming back. The worst part? It was all my fault. If I hadn't insisted on learning how to play the piano, then it wouldn't have happened. They wouldn't have been on their way to pick me up in the rain to go out to dinner. They wouldn't have been hit by that damned drunk driver. And what form of punishment did that drunk driver get for killing my mom, dad, and sister? Nothing. What did I get? The loss of my life. My family was gone, and now I had to go live with my mothers sister, her god damned husband, and their stupid kid. I hated them, and they hated me. And I had to fucking live with them. I ruined two perfectly good family's in one week.
Remembering all of those times that I sat and watched the rest of my family eating pancakes that my sister and mom made while my dad rambled on about statistics that didn't matter, I just sat there on the sidelines. I was always an outsider looking in. And I insisted on learning how to play the piano, and They let me. Now They were dead because They were trying to pick me up.
And now my mothers sisters family had to deal with me, while also paying for the funeral that they didn't even bother to attend. Then again, they really shouldn't be complaining. They got all of my parents money. All. Of. It. So why did I have to sell just about everything I owned for a shitty funeral of three? Because they were greedy, and they didn't want me moving with that many things. Not that I had that many. Just various instruments.
I sighed, wiping the tears away as I picked up the old book my sister gave me for my birthday a few years ago. She was my best fucking friend. Hell, she was my ONLY friend. She was the first -and only- person I told when I found out I was gay. I told her just about everything. Except for the cutting, I thought it best to keep that to myself. I put the book down in my carry-on with my CD's, my headphones, and my CD player. Why did They have to leave me?
I remember the funeral. All of these people I didn't know that knew Them all so well. I knew nothing about Them, even if I lived with Them. It was ridiculous. They all walked up to me, apologizing for my loss. Telling me how sorry they were, and how sad I must be. I still hadn't allowed myself to cry yet. Sure, a few tears would slip past my eyes, but I didn't want to cry. Even though They left me.
I hated this. I didn't want to move. I wanted to stay in this empty house forever, only having bad memories to accompany me. My parents really weren't all that horrible. They only got made at me when I didn't get 100% and up on everything, and it really was only when They were mad that They took notice of me. It's also when They became violent. My sister never said anything about it, she knew I was the unloved child. That she would always be better than me in Their eyes. I never really cared. I only cared when They told me how disappointed They were in me, when They said I would never amount up to anything. And now They were dead. They fucking left me.
I looked around my empty room, feeling chills as I did so. This was the last time I would ever be in it. I smiled at the colorful walls, one was painted green, another hot pink, one purple, and the last one white with black music lines and notes painted on it, accompanied by some lyrics that were also painted in black. I chewed on my nail, looking at the empty book shelf, and the bed without sheets. It was funny really, the room resembled me now more than it ever did. It still looked like me, it looked like everything I wanted it to look like, but on the inside it was hollow and abandoned.
I felt tears pricking at the corner of my eyes again, and quickly grabbed my small suitcase, messenger bag, and my violin case before walking out of the room. I closed the door, and ran my fingers over the hole in it. It was a shallow hole, it only went halfway through the door. It was made by my mother when she found out I had a low B in one of my classes. She was so angry with me, she tried to knock down the door to my room. And then she ignored me for a week. My sister felt so bad about it, she got me a nice $30. pocket watch. I loved it and always had it on me. She knew me well enough to get a pocket watch that's clock face went backwards. Why the hell did They have to fucking leave me?
I walked down the hall, carrying the three bags with me as I looked at all of the happy pictures that were plastered on the wall. Not one of them had me in it. I picked one up that was supposed to be a family portrait -even though it was missing me- and I put it in my messenger bag. I walked down the stairs that I had walked down so many times. I had also been pushed and thrown down them by my father. He had his reasons of course. I was always screwing up. I had decided that I had to have been a masochist, because no one would purposely screw up if they knew they would be harmed for it, unless they liked it. I sighed as I walked towards the front door. I didn't want to leave, but They left me. They left me all by myself in a fucked up world. In the middle of the god damned summer. And even though I had never really been close to my parents, and my sister hadn't been close to me -even if I was close to her- I missed Them. I missed Them so much it felt like my heart was going to exploded.
They were all I had, and They left me.
I sighed, opened the door, walked out, and closed it for the last time.
I can't believe They fucking left me.
~~~~~
I'm not sure if I want to continue this story or not, it might just leave it as it is. So tell me if you want me to continue, if not then I'll just leave it alone. Either way, I hope you liked it, and that reading it wasn't a complete waste of time.
-xoxo Pansy.
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