Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Disenchanted
Early August 2005
"I never said I'd lie and wait forever.." I sang to myself as I stared at the photograph.
"At the end of the end of the world or the last thing I see. you are never coming home, never coming home..."I had to stop because I didn't want to cry. I had cried so much over this....I didn't want to anymore.
"What's wrong?"I heard a voice say.I knew it was too late to cover up my tears from Gerard. I just looked at him as the tears kept coming.
"Ari.."He said helplessly and sat down by me. I showed him the photograph and pointed to HER "that's Ashley."
He took the picture in his hand and stared at her "why are you crying over her?"
"Because I miss her so much."
"She's....she's not dead, is she?" he asked cautiously.
"For all I know she could be."
"Doesn't any of your family members know how she's doing?" he asked. He already knew the predicament from my journals. About how she stayed with us for part of her only year Tangier Combined School. How my brother was deadly in love with her and that she was my best friend. Then she moved back, but we still kept in touch. And when she came for the 4th of July and her and my mom got in a fight. She left the next day and I've never heard from her since.
It was probably for the best; because my brother got better. But everyone was so absorbed in him- they never stopped to think about what it would do to me.
"I don't know. I've asked...but no one will tell me anything- I don't know why. She was my best friend, Gerard. And she just left. She didn't care about me enough to even call. No letter, no e-mail. Nothing. She just doesn't care about me." I started crying again "How could she?"
He put his arms around me "you said that...she had changed. That she started drugs and drinking.."
I shook my head.
"Maybe it was for the best that she stayed away...Maybe she just needed to get away from all that."
"...But what about me? What did I ever do to deserve to just be forgotten? I'm always forgotten, Gerard. So many friends of mine have just left me...all of them leave." I cried into his shoulder.
He didn't say anything; just sat there, holding me. I didn't think he knew what to say like I didn't know what to do. I wanted something so, so bad that just wasn't meant it happen. There was nothing I could do. Though, that sounded like my whole life story...
Though that wasn't the only time he had caught me crying because of a song.
That time I sobbing.
"Aria?!"he said ",what's wrong?"
"Nothing,nothing."I tried to cover up my tears. He remembered the last time and picked up my earphone and put it in. "Green day.."
I looked at him with tears still going down my face "I hate that song..."
"Then why are you listening to it?"
"Cause it's good." I laughed. "and helps me to get out my bottled up feelings. Though crying doesn't make me feel better anymore..."
He just put his arms around me again. It was the only way to comfort me. Even though that made it worse. I was just sitting there,crying, over him- the man who was holding me protectively in his arms, like nothing could ever hurt me. But really, he was the one who was hurting me.
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First I guess I'd like to apologize for taking so long to update (xp) I've been caught up writing my mass fan fic story.... And second I'm sorry that this story is so dang depressing x// But I wont lie, writing this story was kinda like therapy for me...two years ago when I stared writing it(So I guess that why this story is kinda far fetched and stuff- I was 12 when I wrote it. And I never thought that anyone would ever read it...But I'm glad that I did post it on here, and especially on FicWad cause the people are so nice!!! I mean I've posted some other stuff on other websites and no one had like anything nice to say...it made me really sad...but I thought that was a pretty good story for a 10-year-old to write!! xp Sorry I'm rambeling..)).But anyways...I really don't wanna change anything...cause I like it how it is :P. Buuuut writing to me is like how Gerard Way feels about making a record-
"Making a record is a lot like surgery without an anesthetic. You first have to cut yourself up the middle. Then you have to rip out every single organ, every single part and lay them on a table. You then need to examine the parts, and the reality of the situation hits you. You find yourself saying things like "I didn't... know that part was so ugly." Or "I better get a professional opinion about that." You go to bed hollow and then back into the operating room the next day. . .facing every fear, every disgusting thing you hate about yourself. Then you pop it all back in, sew yourself shut and perform. . . you perform like your life depended on it----and in those perfect moments you find beauty you never knew existed. You find yourself and your friends all over again, you find something to fight for, something to love. Something to show the world." Is anyone else in love with that quote like I am?! :P And I'm sorry for rambling!!! And talking about things no one really cares about!!! xp
"I never said I'd lie and wait forever.." I sang to myself as I stared at the photograph.
"At the end of the end of the world or the last thing I see. you are never coming home, never coming home..."I had to stop because I didn't want to cry. I had cried so much over this....I didn't want to anymore.
"What's wrong?"I heard a voice say.I knew it was too late to cover up my tears from Gerard. I just looked at him as the tears kept coming.
"Ari.."He said helplessly and sat down by me. I showed him the photograph and pointed to HER "that's Ashley."
He took the picture in his hand and stared at her "why are you crying over her?"
"Because I miss her so much."
"She's....she's not dead, is she?" he asked cautiously.
"For all I know she could be."
"Doesn't any of your family members know how she's doing?" he asked. He already knew the predicament from my journals. About how she stayed with us for part of her only year Tangier Combined School. How my brother was deadly in love with her and that she was my best friend. Then she moved back, but we still kept in touch. And when she came for the 4th of July and her and my mom got in a fight. She left the next day and I've never heard from her since.
It was probably for the best; because my brother got better. But everyone was so absorbed in him- they never stopped to think about what it would do to me.
"I don't know. I've asked...but no one will tell me anything- I don't know why. She was my best friend, Gerard. And she just left. She didn't care about me enough to even call. No letter, no e-mail. Nothing. She just doesn't care about me." I started crying again "How could she?"
He put his arms around me "you said that...she had changed. That she started drugs and drinking.."
I shook my head.
"Maybe it was for the best that she stayed away...Maybe she just needed to get away from all that."
"...But what about me? What did I ever do to deserve to just be forgotten? I'm always forgotten, Gerard. So many friends of mine have just left me...all of them leave." I cried into his shoulder.
He didn't say anything; just sat there, holding me. I didn't think he knew what to say like I didn't know what to do. I wanted something so, so bad that just wasn't meant it happen. There was nothing I could do. Though, that sounded like my whole life story...
Though that wasn't the only time he had caught me crying because of a song.
That time I sobbing.
"Aria?!"he said ",what's wrong?"
"Nothing,nothing."I tried to cover up my tears. He remembered the last time and picked up my earphone and put it in. "Green day.."
I looked at him with tears still going down my face "I hate that song..."
"Then why are you listening to it?"
"Cause it's good." I laughed. "and helps me to get out my bottled up feelings. Though crying doesn't make me feel better anymore..."
He just put his arms around me again. It was the only way to comfort me. Even though that made it worse. I was just sitting there,crying, over him- the man who was holding me protectively in his arms, like nothing could ever hurt me. But really, he was the one who was hurting me.
________________________________
First I guess I'd like to apologize for taking so long to update (xp) I've been caught up writing my mass fan fic story.... And second I'm sorry that this story is so dang depressing x// But I wont lie, writing this story was kinda like therapy for me...two years ago when I stared writing it(So I guess that why this story is kinda far fetched and stuff- I was 12 when I wrote it. And I never thought that anyone would ever read it...But I'm glad that I did post it on here, and especially on FicWad cause the people are so nice!!! I mean I've posted some other stuff on other websites and no one had like anything nice to say...it made me really sad...but I thought that was a pretty good story for a 10-year-old to write!! xp Sorry I'm rambeling..)).But anyways...I really don't wanna change anything...cause I like it how it is :P. Buuuut writing to me is like how Gerard Way feels about making a record-
"Making a record is a lot like surgery without an anesthetic. You first have to cut yourself up the middle. Then you have to rip out every single organ, every single part and lay them on a table. You then need to examine the parts, and the reality of the situation hits you. You find yourself saying things like "I didn't... know that part was so ugly." Or "I better get a professional opinion about that." You go to bed hollow and then back into the operating room the next day. . .facing every fear, every disgusting thing you hate about yourself. Then you pop it all back in, sew yourself shut and perform. . . you perform like your life depended on it----and in those perfect moments you find beauty you never knew existed. You find yourself and your friends all over again, you find something to fight for, something to love. Something to show the world." Is anyone else in love with that quote like I am?! :P And I'm sorry for rambling!!! And talking about things no one really cares about!!! xp
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