FicWad

"Gerard,pass the carrots,will you?"
It's ten o' clock.After a long day of signing autographs,screaming out lyrics and prying off fan-girls,we're eating dinner.It's cold lasagna,but to this band it's amazing.We even got some Hershey bars for dessert.
"Sure,Ray,"I mutter,handing him the bowl,"can you gimme the bottle of Coke?"
He does,and I silently offer it to Frank,who is sitting next to me.
"No thanks,"He says,spraying bits of half-chewed carrot everywhere and causing Ray to shield his afro like his own child,"Can't."
Maria snorts."What?Frankie not drinking Coke?"
"Yeah!"shouts Bob."Who are you and what have you done with Frank?"
"Question!"Ray joins in."Who is the current President Of The United States?"
"What is the name of your band?"
"What brand hair straightener does Mikey use?"
Frank rolls his eyes."George Bush.My Chemical Romance.GHD,short for Good Hair Day."
I hear Ray mutter,"Damn,he's good."
"Anyway,"Frank says,returning to shoveling in his food,"I'm just on Lent,guys."
We stare.
"What?"
"You're in Rent?!"
"What about Pete Wentz?"
"Guys,no.Lent."
What the fuck is this?!"What's that,Frank?"
He looks like I've just informed him I don't know what a penis is."You....you don't...know?"
"No,none of us do."
"Well,aren't any of you guys religious?"
There is a general negatory atmosphere,which is dented slightly by Shannon saying,"I went in a Church once.Wait,no,that was a strip club."
Frank flushes a deep red that is so entirely amazing it makes me want to take a cold shower.
"Oh...well....it's like when Jesus went into the dessert and was tempted by Lucifer.He was in there for forty days and forty nights and he didn't eat anything.So,it's a tradition now that people give something up or take up something for those forty days.I chose Coke.And cigarettes.And I'm gonna try and curse less."
Ray and Maria nod,but Bob still looks curious.
"Frank?"
"Yeah?"
"So, essentially you celebrate this dude-"
"You mean Jesus Christ?"
"Yeah,him....you celebrate him going on a big diet?"
Frank scowls."No.You celebrate him resisting the dev-"
Now I've gotta question."Y'know you said about the whole taking something up thing?"
"Uh,yeah?"
"Couldn't you....like,take up eating twelve bars of chocolate a day?"
"Well,no.It's meant to be something productive."
"That's productive!"
"No,like taking up an instrument or stop drinking."His eyes flicker over to me."Do some good or something."
"Couldn't you.....be a rebel?"
"I don't think there are many rebels in the Catholic Church,Ray."
"What about Moses?" Bob blurts out.
"Well,"stutters Frank,"what about Moses?"
"Moses is awesome,man!"
Now it's Bob's turn to be stared at.
"You guys know it's true.I took my middle name after him."
There is a stunned silence.Until:
"Robert Corey Moses Bryar?"
"Yeah."
"Anyway,"Frank drawls,"what were you saying about Moses,Bob?"
Bob grins."God said to Moses "come fourth and win my love"."
"And?"
"He came fifth and won a toaster."
Frank shakes his head,and Ray asks a question.
"Wasn't he an enemy of Jesus?Or...something like that?"
He shakes his head."No,Ray.That's like saying Shakespeare and Johnny Rotten were best friends.Totally different people."
"Okay,ladies,you can clean up this mess,"Maria says,getting up,"I'm off to bed.When you're done,you guys should go too,long day tomorrow.Wait.Where's Mikey?"
I shake my head and begin to say "We haven't seen him since he stormed off this morning-"
"Yeah,he's in his bedroom,"offers Ray,scraping some pasta off a plate.
Oh.That's weird.
X X X X
"Mikey?"I ask the dark,switching on the light,"are you in here?"
"Yes,"a voice answers me."I'm here.I think I might sleep in Ray's room tonight,if that's okay."
Crap.He's still pissed off with me.
"Uh,well,if you want to talk-"
"G'night,"he says breezily on the way out,taking his onesie and his hair-straightener with him.
I sigh and start taking off my shirt.I notice-not without satisfaction-that Mikey has folded my up my pajamas neatly on the bed.
Frank walks in.I'm half-naked,but I try not to care,when really an alarm is going off in my head,reading:
BE AFRAID,GERARD,BE VERY AFRAID
I try to work it.I've heard distressed,homosexual desire is so in right now.
Frank walks in."That Mikey who was in here just now?"
"Yeah.He said he was gonna sleep with Ray tonight."
Frank stares at me.
"Oh...that...uh...came out wrong."
"Okay."
He begins to get undressed and the alarm gets louder.I,meanwhile,have pretty much just gone bright magenta.
"Uh....Gerard,can I-"
I turn around."Yeah?"
He looks troubled."Oh,uh,never...mind."
He shuffles his feet awkwardly and coughs.I know it's meant to be a gesture of breaking the ice,but since Frank has bronchitis this set off a continuous rack of coughing.Now it is very awkward indeed.
Oh My God,I just said "indeed."
"Frank?"I ask,not knowing if I would get an answer.
"I had a dream-"he stops mid-way and inhales sharply."Never mind,I don't wanna talk about it."
"Now,Frank,what if Martin Luther King had thought that?"
He's still worried,but I can see a faint smile on his lips.
"You got that off Friends."
I nod and laugh."Yeah,that's true."
He shakes his head."I dunno.Just....bad dream.Yeah.All the mice on the bus ganged up on us and created a super-rodent-army.Diabolical,but rad.In a weird way."
I nod slowly.Frank has this crazed look in his eyes,like he's slightly desperate or something.It's kinda weird.
"AND STAY OUT!" Bob's voice booms from next door.A moment later,Mikey walks in the door,his hair sticking up in Russell Brand fashion and clutching a pillow.
"What happened?" I inquire.
"I started snoring," he explains.
I laugh,Frank laughs and Mikey grumbles.I fall asleep about ten minutes later,and I do not dream.






hey guys,ooh,feels good to update now!I just wanna thank everyone who read my author's note and sympathized,you guys made a shitty day so much better.There is actually no better group of people out there on the internetz than there are on FicWad.xo,lauren.