FicWad

"Well,"Ray says,propping his feet up on the table,"this is possibly the most boring afternoon I have ever experienced in my life."
"Get your feet off the table,Toro,"Maria orders from the corner of the room,"it ain't ours,and if you break it-"
"I'll wish I was born a woman?"
Maria does not reply,but simply touches the side of her nose with her index finger.
"Okay,then,"Frank says,"how about we do something instead of Maria making malevolent gestures towards Ray?"
"Um.....how about practice?"
"No way.No.Freaking.Way."
"Alright,Gerard,point taken.Anyone else?"
"We could make......a pie with legs."
"You been watching Mock The Week again,Mikey?"
"Yeah."
"Right.Any other ideas?"
"Well...."Bob strikes a philosophical pose,hand on chin."We could play I Never."
Mikey looks confused,worried and sick all at the same time.
"What's that?"
Frank jumps in."It's a drinking game,Mikey.Everyone gets a drink,and then one guy says "I never..." followed by something he's never done.If you have done it,you must drink.Guy who has the most left at the end is the winner."
Ray looks troubled."I thought it was the guy with the least amount left?"
"Nah,he's just the sluttiest."
"Righty then!"I yelp jauntily,grabbing five glasses."Jack?Vodka?Guinness?"
"Water,"Mikey says sternly."We'll drink water."
I reluctantly fill the glasses up with water,and put them on the table.
"Mikey,"states Frank,"you go first."
Mikey looks up,a face of sheer determination spread across his visage.
"I'm thinking....."
"Jesus,Mikey,it's just a drinking game,"grunts Bob.
"Got it!"Mikey says."I have never messed up on stage."
There are brief mummers of "swot" and "nerd";nonetheless,Ray,Frank,Bob and I take a sip.
"My turn,"grins Ray."I have never dated a ginger."
Mikey turns a bright red and lifts his glass to his lips.
"Haha!"screams Frank,"Mikey,really?"
"Shut up!She was a really awesome person,and it was years before Shannon,so shut the hell up!"
Frank is still sniggering behind his hand,when I realize I never heard of this mysterious red-headed chick.
"What was her name,Mikey?"
His lips move but the statement is inaudible.
"What was that?"
"Ginger,alright?!Her name was GINGER!"
Frank's discreet giggling is now ear-shattering.
"OH MY GOD,GINGER?Oh,that is too good-"
"Iero,if you don't shut up right now-"
"Okay,then,"I say,"we can see there's some serious pent-up teen rage here,so it's my turn now.I have never gotten my hair cut by my mom."
"Fuck you Gerard!"Frank gulps down some water."You knew that,and I trusted our conversation was confidential!"
"Really?"
"Yeah.To try and seduce the girls and get some action."
"And?"
"You kiddin' me?I could barely get a wank with that hair."
"My turn,my turn!"squeals Bob happily."I have never kissed Gerard."
Frank takes another sip.
"Damn,man,you're pretty shitty at this game."
"See this?How many fingers am I holding up,Mikey?"
"Two."
"Exactly.Fuck off."
"'K Frank.Your turn."
"I never danced around the tour bus when the rest of the band were out,screaming the lyrics out to Kylie Minogue's album."
Mikey's aforementioned face is vehement."Frank.You little fucker."
"Oops.Slip of the tongue.Sorry."Frank retorted,grimacing.
"You guys forgot me,"Maria says,a trace of a smile on her face,"gimme a glass of water,Gerard."
I do.
"Well,"she says,pushing Mikey off his chair and sitting back down,"I have never been in love with someone the same sex as me."
I drink.
Then Maria drinks.
"Uh-uh!"scolds Bob."You just said you never did it!"
"Well,I lied."
"Whoa!"Ray says,stunned beyond all belief."The legendary double-drink!"
"Alright Maria!Way to play the field!"
Maria giggles,and blushes in a way I've never seen before."It was years ago,just some stupid fling-"
"FRANK?"Mikey booms."Who have you been in love with?"
"That ain't part of the game,Mikey boy."
"Aw,c'mon now,"Ray leans forward,"spill."
"Ray,you sound like Oprah."
"Don't avoid the subject,Frank,just tell us."
"No."
"Why not?!"
"Because.I said so.So there."
"Iero,you are such a child."
"I don't give a fuck."
"Alright,alright,Mr.Conservative here won't spill the beans,so we'll get his right-hand man to.Gerard."Bob,along with the rest of the band,look at me with expectant faces.
"What?"
"Tell us."
"Tell you what?"
"Are you thick?!"
"One question at a time,boys,"Maria yawns wearily.
"Tell us who Frank loved."
"Or loves."
They snigger like a group of eleven-year-old girls.
"I don't even know-"
"LOOK,"shouts Frank,his eyes bulging,"I'm engaged to Sarah now,and I am blissfully happy with her,so I'll have no snide little comments about me around her,RIGHT?!"
"Man,it was just a jo-"
"So quit hounding me and just fuck off!My private life is none of your BUSINESS!"
He storms off,and I hear him slam a door,presumably to our room.
"Jesus,"sighs Bob,"it was just a drinking game."
"Well,guys,you really shouldn't have taunted him."
"Gerard,you weren't exactly helping the situation,you just sat there,dumbstruck!"
"Don't pin this on me,Bryar,I was just staying out of it!"
"Guys,guys,"Maria warns,"calm the fuck down,will you?"
"Humph."
"Gerard.Go talk to Frank."
"What?Why the fuck should I-"
"Gerard.Go talk to Frank."
I get up and walk off,rehearsing what I'm going to say in my head.