FicWad

Instead of sitting in silence by myself, a boy with somewhat long brown hair that went down to his shoulder came over and sat down next to me.
"Where are you headed?" He asked in a silky voice. I chewed on my lip for a minute before deciding that i might as well talk to him.
"Las Vegas, you?" My voice sounded horrible. It was weak and practically silent. And I was sure that if anyone knew me well enough, they could have heard the sadness that was dripping in each word.
"Same here." He smiled, shifted in his seat again before completely settling down, sitting with his legs criss-crossed on the odd bench. "So what strings instrument do you play." He said in his dreamy voice making a gesture towards my violin case. Most people could tell it was an instrument case at best, it was after all, just a black rectangle shape, but they couldn't tell if it was a strings instrument or a brass.
"How did you-" He cut me off as he started to explain.
"You're left hand's fingers are slightly callused, while you're right hand remains normal, the way all string instrument players hands are. And guessing on the size of the case, it's a violin?" I just stared at him, amazed at what he said at first, but soon after I was distracted by his subtle beauty. He had a sort of, classic look about him. His light brown hair went down to his shoulders and curled slightly after his neck in layers, his fringe going across his forehead. His eyes matched the color of his hair, and they were sleepy and relaxed. His nose was slightly big, but it fit his face. He had thin lips, and round cheek bones. He had somewhat bushy eyebrows, a small chin, and a nice jawbone. I shook those thoughts away as he stared at me with a confused look. "What? Do I have something on my face?" He asked touching his cheek.
"No, I just got distracted. Yeah, it's a violin." I said giving the best smile I could, all though I'm sure it looked more like a twitch.
"So why are you going to Vegas?" He asked as he tapped one of his hands on his leg to a beat that only he could hear. It looked almost like he had a permanent smile on his face.
"It's a long story." I said running a hand threw my messy hair.
"Well, somethings obviously bothering you. Do you want to tell me?" He asked. I shook my head lightly, hugging my legs against my chest. He smiled an amazingly kind smile at me and I had to look away. It made me feel guilty for some odd reason. "I'm going to visit a few of my friends. Tomorrow's one of their birthdays and I'm finally going to get to give him the present I made ages ago." He said while people watching. It seemed that just having him in the building attracted more people, and I guessed he was looking for people he knew. "Their always so funny, my friends, telling me not to bother to take the train and just fly like a normal person. But I don't know, there's just something so classic about trains." He said as he started a one sided conversation. Not that I had any problem with a one sided conversation, I liked being the listener, and he was a fairly good speaker. "Why are you taking the train?" He asked with a smile. I sighed lightly. I might as well tell him.
"I want to stall having to see my new family. Flying would take a few hours, but trains take a few days." He smiled and the train pulled into the station.
"You're new family?" He said as he rose on his long legs. He looked amazing when he was standing up right, tall lanky and thin. But it was a good balance. He only had a small bag with him, and he offered to carry one of mine. I smiled, and politely declined, following him onto the train. We went to the back, and I sat by the window. He sat down next to me and repeated his last question, wording it slightly different. "What do you mean by a new family?" I pulled my legs close to my chest, staring at my old shoes.
"A few weeks ago I watched my family get in to a car crash. They all died. My sister, my mom, my dad." I took in a shaky breath. "Now I have to go live with my aunt and uncle and their stuck up kid. Their my new 'family.'" I said with a hint of anger in my voice. I felt hands wrap around my shoulders and looked up to his worried face. "I don't believe I know your name..." I said with slight realization. He let go of me, talking in a slightly panicked way.
"Right, right, right. I'm sorry. I forgot to introduce myself." He held his hand out for me to take. "I'm William." He said with a large grin. I took his hand, giving him a slight nod.
"Brendon." I said before letting my hand drop back down to my side. He pulled a spiral and pen out of his bag, going off into his own little world. I stared out the window. Today was going to be the worst day since they died, I had to see my mother's family once again. I had only seen them three times before, and I was not looking forward to seeing them again. I never really liked them, and I could tell they didn't like me the last time we saw them. That was a little over a year ago, and I doubted that they had changed all that much.
The mother was my sister's twin, and they looked exactly alike, even if they were completely different people. My parents were christian, I was an atheist, -not that they knew that- and their family was catholic, which is just great. I figured I would have to go to catholic school with their perfect little son. Doesn't that just sound dandy?
I ran a hand threw my hair and looked over at William. He seemed to be in too deep of thought to even notice my gaze on him. There was a group of girls sitting in the middle of the train car, staring at us while smiling and laughing. I went back to staring out the window as I started to pick at the cuts on my wrists.
I didn't want to be here, I wanted to be at home in my bed just staring at the ceiling like I used to do. I vaguely wandered how often I would be able to do that in my new house. I wondered what my room would be like, how my 'family' was going to treat me, and if I would ever be the same again. I knew the answerer to the last two; like crap, and no.
A few of the girls came over, one of them tapping William on his shoulder to get him out of his thoughts. He looked up from his scribbles to look at the blond.
"Me and my friends were just wandering if you wanted to come over and chat." She said with a smile as she looked at William. "Your friend can come to." she said in a over peppy voice. The hell if I was going over to talk to her friends.
"I would love to." William said with a soft smile. He looked over at me. "Brendon, do you want to come?" He asked with a soft laugh. I think he knew I wasn't interested, so I just shook my head. "Okay." He said standing up to walk off with the three girls and meet up with the two others that stayed in their seats. I looked at the spiral he had left on his seat and picked it up. I couldn't read any of his writing, but he had small doodles all over the page. I smiled as I looked at them. I knew I shouldn't have been looking threw his things, but it was just so tempting. And I already knew I was a horrible person.
I looked over at William and the girls he was with. He was smiling and laughing a little while one of them tangled her hand threw his hair, another held one of his hands as the rest talked to him. Three of the girls were blond, -two of which were obviously fake- the other two brunette. They were the type of people that you just couldn't help but hate without even knowing them. They had that look of being stuck up and bitchy. The ones that always wear enough makeup to make a latex mask and plenty of expensive clothing. William still seemed to be enjoying their company, even if they seemed to be horrible people. I looked back out the window, watching the sun climb the sky.
About a half hour before the train pulled up to the station, William came back to sit with me.
"Those girls were utter bitches." He said with a sigh, looking at what I was writing.
"Yeah." I muttered, still writing notes down on the paper in front of me.
"You knew they were whores, didn't you?" He asked with a soft smile. I looked up from my paper and looked at him.
"How did you not know?" He shrugged.
"I've never been all that good at being able to notice things like that." He said with a light laugh. I wondered if he ever stopped smiling, and figured that that only happened when something horrible happened.
"It could just be my sexual preference." I muttered under my breath as I continued to write.
"What is your sexual preference?" He asked with a large grin. I just shook my head, not wanting to say anything. I guess he figured I didn't want to talk about it when he stayed silent for a few minutes. Of course, he didn't stay silent for long. "What instrument are those notes for?" He asked as he continued to stare at the paper I was writing on.
"The piano." I said with a smile. It actually was an exhilarating feeling to play music that you had written yourself. Especially when it didn't sound like utter crap.
"Just about how many instruments do you play?" I looked up, staring off into space as I counted. "Nine I think." I said with a slight nod and looked at his slightly amazed face.
"Nine?" He asked stunned.
"I think." I repeated. The train pulled up to the station and he stood up, ripping a piece of paper out of his notebook. He scribbled a few words and numbers on it before handing it to me. I looked at what was written on it while he put his things in his bag. It was a phone number followed by his name in lacy handwriting. It wasn't even close to the hand writing he had used earlier when he was writing in his notebook.
"So you can call me and whatnot. I would hope that we could be friends. But it's not my number, it's just my friends number since I'm staying at his house this week. So if he answers, just tell him you want to talk to me." He said as we walked off the train and into the station. I folded the paper and put it in my pocket. "I hope to see you again." He said with a smile before walking off to a group of three boys. I tried to look at them but was forced to turn around when I felt a tap on my shoulder.
"You're Brendon, right?" It was a tall man who looked like he was in his late twenties. The man who I was guessing was my social worker. Being an orphan, I had to have one. Even if I was living with members of my family. I nodded my head and he smiled. He had shaggy black hair and dark brown eyes. "Great, well my name is Sven." He said extending his hand out to me. I normally wouldn't say that I was a short person, but I had no option in this situation, he was at least a foot taller than me. I thought about asking him about his name but thought better of it and instead bit my tongue as I shook his hand. "Follow me." He said as he picked up my suitcase and started walking. I took one last look in the direction of where William went and when I didn't see him standing there I slung my messenger bag over my shoulder, and picked up my violin case, following Sven.
He lead me out to an old beat up truck that looked like it had once been blue, but now it seemed rust was the color that coated it. He put my bags in the backseat and I got in the front, pulling my legs up to my chest. I probably had about an hour drive before having to do the one thing I was dreading. I really didn't want to live with them, but it would be better than being put into foster care. I heard the door shut and watched Sven put the key in the ignition, turning on the old beat up truck. It was a horrible sound really, but I was just happy that it turned on.
"So are you excited about living with your aunt and her family?" He asked trying to start polite conversation.
"Sure." I lied, and even I could tell how bored my voice sounded.
"Look, I understand that it's a new house, with new people, and new rules in a new town, but try to be positive." He said in a voice that practically screamed 'I've heard it a million times and really don't give a fuck about whether or not you like it, because it's happening anyway.' I stared out the window, watching the strip pass by as he drove to my aunts house. "I mean, I've talked to them, and they seem like nice people. The fathers the owner of a casino, and the mothers the head of some small company. The son also seems pretty nice, he's in some troop or something. Straight A student too." He said with a nod. I felt sick. Those were the people I was going to have to spend two years with? It didn't sound like fun at all. "They have a nice house, about upper middle class sized, and a large garden. I think you'll like it." They sounded like a bunch of rich assholes to me, but that's just because I've seen the real side of them. And they really are just that.
"It sounds lovely." I lied threw my teeth, and he didn't seem to notice. Instead, he just smiled and started to fumble with the radio. I just sat there, staring out the window like always, while he found the station he was looking for. After about a half an hour drive, he pulled up to a massive house. Hell, it didn't look like a house, it looked like a fucking manor. I looked down at the clock, it was only three. Sven got out of the truck, picking up my suitcase and my violin before walking the steps to my new 'house'. I got out and got my messenger bag, to stunned to walk all that fast as I stared at the large building. It was beautiful, but not at all my taste. I walked up to the door just in time to see a lady open the door to the house. She muttered something in Italian before calling for my aunt and uncle, and walked off. Sven gave me a reassuring smile as my aunt walked up to the door. She looked the same as she had the first day I met her, like a girl that was in 'Girls Gone Wild' in high school, and then 'Playboy' when she was in college. But now she was just a washed up prude, and you could tell. She gave a fake smile and ushered me in.
"I'll be back in a week, okay?" Sven said with a smile before walking back to his truck. I stared at Sven as he turned on his truck, until the door was slammed shut.
"It's just great to see you Brendon." She practically spat my name.
"It's good to see you to auntie." I said weakly. She slapped me. I felt her cold ring dig into my flesh along with one of her nails. My face stung and I brought one of my hands up to it, feeling a slight amount of blood.
"Don't you EVER call me that!" She screamed, grabbing hold of my small wrist and picking up one of my bags. I picked up the other two before she could pull me down a hall way and to a door behind the stairs. I had to bite my bottom lip to hold my laughter in. I felt like Harry Potter. She opened the door and shoved me into the room before tossing my bag in behind me. "I'll tell you the rules, and I'll tell them to you once. You are not allowed to be outside of your room if any of us are home. I don't care what the hell you want, but you're not allowed to come out. There is a connecting washroom, so you have no reason to leave. Do you understand?" I nodded as I stared at her piercing green eyes that were filled with disdain. "And if I hear you, I will not be afraid to come in here and take away anything that means anything to you." She said and slammed the door shut. I stared at it as I felt tears stinging my eyes. No one really did care about me. I felt cold and alone.
I looked around the room that was now mine. It was small and lifeless. There was a mattress on the floor with a sheet on it, and a small dresser. One of the blueish-grey walls had a door that I opened. It lead to a small washroom, barley bigger than a closet. I guessed that this was a storage room until they found out that I had to live with them. I felt my stomach growl, and clutched it with my left hand, my right one still holding my stinging cheek. When was the last time I ate? Was it three days, or four? I groaned slightly. If I wasn't allowed outside of my room, then how the hell was I going to get food? I started putting my things away, thinking about how I was going to get money for necessities like food. I knew I was going to have to go back to my old ways. It was summer in Las Vegas Nevada, I highly doubted there was going to be a job for a sixteen year old. I sighed as I finished unpacking. I only filled up one drawer in the dresser and put the few things that didn't belong in the drawer on the top of it. The room still looked so empty and plain.
I groaned slightly, checking the time. It was still only four, the sun wasn't even close to setting, and there was no way in hell I was going to sell my body in the broad day light. I frowned at that thought. I hated doing it, but I had no money, and I needed money. I was starving. I walked into the small washroom, and turned the water for the small shower on before taking my hoddie off. I looked at my pale, scar covered arms and I found myself wanting to punch something.
I was disgusting, and I always would be. It was no wonder why no one loved me. And I'm sure no one ever will. I hated myself even more for being as repulsive as I was, on top of my self loathing for being a failure. I took my shirt off and pulled everything out of my pant pockets. I let my fingers graze the sharp metal before putting it to the skin on my wrist. I pushed the metal into my skin and made a deep cut before taking off my boxers and getting in the shower.
I felt my wrist sting as the scolding hot water pounded into the cut while I let the rest of my body bask in the warmth of the shower. I leaned against the shower wall and slid down. I let my thoughts wonder to the boy I had met earlier that day and sighed lightly, letting a soft smile grace my lips. I knew how wrong it would be to jerk-off to a boy that I barley knew, but hell, I rarely did it. And he was an attractive boy. I licked my lips at the thought of him doing, anything really.
I think if I were to ever meet him again, there would be no way I would allow myself to think the dirty thoughts about him. But I wasn't going to see him again, and I need this. I felt my cock harden, and wrapped my hand around it, slowly pumping. The thought of me thinking about William jerking me made me even more disgusted in myself.
I gave a soft sigh and bit my lip as I rubbed my thumb over the tip and smeared pre cum down my length slowly. What did I have to say for myself? I was a teenager with raging hormones. It wasn't like what I was doing was all that unusual. Except for the part where I imagined I heard William's voice whispering obscenities into my ear while slowly pumping me.
I let out a soft moan and bucked my hips, spilling the sticky liquid as I came over my hand. He was a damn good boy to jerk off to, and I already knew how wrong it was. I continued to stroke my erection to milk the orgasm while I released a shuddered breath and a soft moan.
I was so going to hell.
I stayed sitting with my back against the wall until the water ran cold. I got up, finally washing my hair and body before stepping out and wrapping a towel around my waist. I contemplated what I was going to do next, I still had at least two hours until the sun went down. I looked in the mirror, and gave a frustrated sigh. I really should get rid of that mirror. I walked out of the bathroom, pulling out a pair of old purple skinny jeans that had holes in the knees, a deep red v-neck, and a random pair of boxers. If my new family didn't want me here, then I'd leave. I put on my boots, and put my pocket watch and razor in my pocket before slipping the chess piece necklace back around my neck. I smiled at the fact that they had put my room on the first floor, AND that it had a window big enough for me to climb out of. I opened the window, and without a second thought, jumped out. I closed it and started to walk down the street in the warm Nevada weather.
It really was a lovely day out, I didn't know why I had spent an hour inside. I smiled lightly to myself as I walked. My life may have gone down hill, -which I didn't even think was possible since I had hit the bottom when I was so much younger- but the world was still beautiful. I found a small park and noticed that no kids were playing on any of the equipment. Kids that could have perfectly fine lives weren't playing in the outdoors. Kids that hadn't lost their childhood yet.
I frowned as I took a small cobble stone path into a small forest. The trees had plenty of markings on them. Names with plus signs surrounded by hearts and a million forever's. I sighed as I touched one of the trees. No one would ever be marking my name on a tree with their own. No one would ever tell me that they love me. And no one would ever tell me that anything was going to last forever. Because nothing lasts forever, and no one will ever love me.
I heard the sound of laughter and stopped walking. A little farther down the path was a clearing where four boys who were all sitting in a circle, played some game that I had never been asked to play. They looked like they were about my age, but it was pointless to start conversation. They would take one look at my arms and would immediately judge me. I shook my head, walking back from where I came from.
I was pathetic.
I explored the strip before the sun went down, and an hour after that, I started walking the streets. It was my awful job, and the only way I was going to get money for food. Or caffeine. And honestly, right now I would much rather have the latter.