FicWad

I stumbled into the window of my new house, feeling sick and tired. I put the money had gotten into the book that my sister gave me, putting the book in the drawer that had the majority of my clothing in it. I flopped down on the mattress that was considered to be my bed, not bothering to change or even take my boots off. I balled my fists against my stomach, preventing it from growling as I tried to ignore the pain of nausea and lightheadedness. I hated myself. Every little thing about me. All I wanted to do was sleep. Or maybe, curl up in a ball and die.
I sighed lightly as I tried to sleep. It was the main thing I wanted at the moment.
There was a light glow of light coming from the window, giving light to the room. It left everything in it's path to be a golden tint. It was a beauty that was always overlooked by other people.
I smiled into the pillow, snuggling my head into it. I would go to sleep, wake up, and leave. It was a Saturday, so I knew I wasn't going to want to stay here with this new family of mine. I hadn't even seen two of the three, but maybe that was for the best. I closed my eyes, wondering what I would do after leaving. Probably get food first with the money that I earned. But then what? I stopped thinking, deciding that I was just going to sleep. And then came the dark.

I was awakened by the sound of glass being broken against a wall outside of the door to my room. The sound was followed by muffled screams and the sound of a door slamming. Not too much latter, the door was opened quickly to reveal a drunken man. I guessed it was my uncle, but he looked horrible. Like a drunken mess really. His dark eyes were severely blood shoot, his hair messy, and he was only wearing a pair of dirty boxers and socks. He had a bottle of whiskey in one hand, and he started to walk into the small room.
"This is all your fault you fucker." He said, his words slurring as anger mixed with alcohol. One of his hands clutched my filthy v neck, pulling me up only to slam me against the wall behind me. I wondered vaguely what was my fault, but that thought was erased from my mind when I felt the bottle slam against my head. It didn't break, but it did hurt like hell. He dropped the bottle before slamming his fist into my face. It left a stinging sensation, and I had to bite my tongue to suppress a moan. I really was a sick fuck. Blood started to slowly drip out of my nose, my head throbbing while my cheek stung. He dropped me and I let my hand go up to my burning face before feeling one of his feet slam into my stomach. I coughed up a little bit of blood. It felt like my insides were being torn apart. He kicked me once more before muttering "Fucking fag." and walking out of the room. I held my stomach. It was already aching from hunger, but the pain from his furious kicks greatly added to the pain I was already in.
My mind was foggy as I stood and looked to make sure that the door to my room was closed before stripping. I needed to get out of this awful house. I stumbled over to the dresser and pulled out whatever I could find, quickly pulling the top over my head and the jeans on my legs. I grabbed a hundred that I had earned the night before from the book I had hid all the money in before hiding the book so my 'family' couldn't get the rest of it. I needed it, they didn't. They had plenty of money, plenty of everything. What did I have? Nothing.
I walked into the washroom, making another cut on my wrist before tossing the old razor. I quickly washed off the blood that had made it out of my nose and mouth before I combed my hair with my hand and walking back out, making sure I had my pocket watch and long sleeves on while I walked over to the window. I glanced at the door one last time before I slipped out of the house. The neighborhood seemed abandon as I walked down the street. Other than the occasional bark of a dog, it was silent. But I could still hear the sound of the busy streets that weren't to far away faintly. I grabbed my stomach as it made another loud growl and sighed lightly. I was finally going to be able to eat food.
After about an hour of walking I found a small dinner that didn't seem to be all that occupied and walked in the pale pink building. A girl about a year or two younger than me with curly red hair that bounced with every step and a lip-glossed smile greeted me.
"Hi, my name is Stacy, you can follow me to your table." I nodded at her and followed her to the back of the restaurant where she seated me at a booth. "Will anyone be joining you today?" I shook my head as she handed me a menu. She gave me a confused look. "You're eating alone?" I nodded my head looking down at the somewhat dirty green table.
"Can I have a coffee please?" I asked somewhat weakly. She paused for a moment before nodding.
"Okay." She said slowly with a hint of confusion before she walked off. I gave a small sigh of relief before looking down at the old laminated menu. After a minute of gazing at it and not being able to focus on it long enough to read a single word I decided to just get something off of the kids menu. I looked around the old diner. There was a wall of windows and the walls matched the pale pink that was outside. The floor was a slightly dirty shade of pale blue, and the ceiling looked as if it used to be white, but was covered in water stains. There was a counter that no one was sitting at and I wondered what time it was. There were two other groups of people in the small diner, one of them was a group of six boys that all seemed to be acting like little kids, the other was two old people who looked like they were going out for a nice meal.
I pulled out my pocket watch and checked the time. It was only ten, no wonder no one was here. I put the pocket watch away, putting my head down on the table with a soft thud. I was still so tired, it had to have been around five when I made it back to my house last night. And even though I hated it, at least it gave me enough money to not have to do it again for a while.
I lifted my head up as the smell of freshly brewed coffee drifted threw the air above my head. The red-head named Stacy sat down in front of me, placing the mug by my hands that rested on the table.
"I thought I'd give you a little bit of company." She said with a soft smile. "My sister will come over in a minute to get your order." I nodded as I took a few packets of sugar and dumped them into the black coffee, adding a little bit of cream. "So what's your name kid?" She asked in a peppy voice. I knew I didn't really like her, but I wouldn't say anything rude.
"Brendon." I said softly as I took a sip of the sweet nectar that was coffee. I looked at the group of boys that were sitting not to far behind her. One of them was staring intensely at me. I stared at his honey eyes until he noticed that I was looking and quickly looked away. None of the other boys seemed to notice.
"So Brendon, what brought you to Vegas?" She asked with a smile as she took a sip of her soda. I hadn't even noticed that she had a drink on the table. I toyed with the spoon that was in my hot cup of coffee, watching the slight cream color of it ripple and spin slowly.
"Oh, you know, just was looking for a change of scenery." I lied. There was no way I was going to tell her the truth. It was bad enough I told William yesterday, I didn't need another stranger knowing my life story. She seemed content with my story as she took another small sip from her drink.
"Where will you be going to school? It starts in about two weeks." She said in her peppy voice. I shrugged, because I honestly didn't know. Another girl walked up to the table. She had the same red hair as the girl who sat in front of me, only her's looked like it had been straightened. She had the same lip-glossed smile, slightly up turned nose, and green eyes. The one with straightened hair had freckles, and looked to be a few years older than the one that sat in the booth in front of me.
"What can I get ya kid?" She asked in a voice that resembled the others.
"The kids grilled cheese." I said looking up at her. She nodded once and walked away.
"Grilled cheese?" The girl in front of me asked like I was some kind of little kid. I nodded.
"Yeah. I'm not in the mood for a big meal." I said with a sigh.
"Can I ask you something?" She asked as she tilted her head, making her hair bounce.
"Sure." I said looking behind her at the group of boys again. I got a better look at the boy who was staring at me again, and couldn't suppress a small smile. He had light brown hair that was styled in some form of odd mohawk, even though he had a fringe. His honey eyes bored into mine, and when he noticed I was smiling, his full pink lips curled at the end, his eyes matching the amusement on his face.
"How did you get that cut and bruise on your cheek?" I tore my gaze from the boys honey eyes to stare into her mossy ones.
"What do you mean?" I asked as I brought my hand up to my cheek. Of course I knew what she was talking about, I had a slap and then a punch on the same cheek. It was scratched by a ring, and bruised by knuckles. My fingers grazed the skin lightly and it made my cheek sting. She nodded her head slightly, making her hair bounce once again.
I looked back over to the group of boys.
The honey eyed one seemed to be looking down at his drink while he talked to the two boys next to him. One had dirty blond hair with different shades of brown and bright blond for highlights, swooping into a long fringe that went halfway down his neck after passing his face. And a fairly large nose. The other had dark brown hair, almost black really, with a blond fringe and blond tips in the front of his hair. He was sitting in between the two boys, and each one had one arm wrapped around his shoulder.
I wanted to see what the other three boys looked like, but all I could see was the back of their heads. Each one had brown hair in different shades. One was shoulder length, another one's hair cut off around his jaw line, the last one went down slightly past his hairline.
I was brought out of my thoughts as a plate of food was set in front of me. Just smelling it made me feel even hungrier. I picked up the triangle that was half of the sandwich, bringing it to my awaiting mouth. It didn't take long for me to have eaten over half of it. The girl that was sitting in front of me started talking once again.
"So, I see you staring at those boys." She said not even bothering to look back at them. I shrugged.
"One of them was staring at me. I was just curious." I said as I took another bite of the greasy grilled cheese.
"They come in here a lot. I bet it's Ryan that's staring at you, he has the tendency to do that." I looked at her curiously.
"The one with a lot of makeup?" I asked as I stared at them once more.
"Yup. I bet I can tell you each one of their names without looking back at them. They always sit in the same places anyway." She said waving her hand in the air loosely.
"Go for it." I said with a smile.
"Okay, so first half of the bench, the boy with dark brown hair with heavy blond in the front is Jack, the one next to him with the odd styled hair is Ryan, the one on the end with dirty blond hair is Alex. The other bench is Jon and Spencer. Spencer's the one with slightly longer hair, and I know there's another person at the table, but I don't know his name. He's here with them occasionally, but only about once every two months." I stared at her for a moment.
"Regulars?" I asked with a small smile. She shrugged happily, making her curls bounce.
"Yeah, their almost always in here. I'll never fully understand why." She said as she took a quick glance behind her at them. When I finished half of my grilled cheese I felt sicker than I had before. It was a different type of sick though, the kind that you get when you eat a lot after a long time of not eating much. I didn't know which one was worse. "Not hungry?" She asked as she noticed I had stopped eating. I nodded slowly.
"Yeah, not anymore at least." I said as I pushed the plate away from me. Someone called from behind the counter, asking for her to come. She got up quickly muttering a bye as she got up to go to who called her. The other red headed girl came with the check and I put the money on the table and finished off my coffee, making sure that not one drop remained. I checked to see if I had put enough for a tip and then got up to leave. Walking past the group of six boys I heard a familiar voice call my name. I turned around to see William sitting next to the boy Stacy had called Jon. I gave him the best fake smile I could put on as he pushed the other boy off the bench so he could run over and hug me. I stumbled lightly as he knocked into me. Luckily his arms wrapped around my waist and held me up before I could fall.
"What are you doing here?" He asked with a large grin.
"Just getting a little food." I said somewhat softly. He pinched my side.
"Looks like you need it. You're almost as thin as Ryan over there." I looked behind him at the other boy, who kept his head down. It seemed like everyone at their table didn't even notice that William was missing. Or cared.
"Listen, I'd love to stay here and talk to you for hours, but I have to go." I said as I stared at the back of the boy named Ryan's head. I didn't think I could stand to be around that many people that I didn't really know. He looked slightly sad but nodded anyway.
"Okay, I'll see you later, right?" I nodded, giving him another fake smile.
"Of course." He smiled and let me go. I walked out of the diner before anything else could be said and walked away as quickly as possible. I didn't want to run into him again. I didn't want friends, or family, or anything really. I just wanted to be alone.
No one could hurt you if you were alone.
I explored the strip once again until I got hungry once more, this time just buying a cheap sandwich from a deli, eating it in the same small park I had wondered to the day before. I didn't want to go back home, and I didn't want to spend any of my money on useless items, so I just walked. It was pretty boring, but I didn't care. Anything was better than being home. I kicked a pebble down the pavement. Home is where the heart is...But I had no place for my heart, in fact, I don't even think I have a heart anymore. As cheesy as it sounds, I feel like it's broken to the point that it's non existent. Then again, how can you break something that's already deformed? I climbed a random tree in the small forest.
When was the last time I was loved? Truly loved, not that fake 'we love you because we have to, being related.' I shook my head as I rested it against the trunk, one of my legs dangling over the branch while the other kept me balanced. I don't think I've ever been loved. Or loved someone else for that matter. I pulled my legs up to my chest and rested my head on my knees. This was not making me feel better. I groaned lightly, allowing all thoughts to drop from my mind as I looked at the fiery ball of radiation that was slowly creeping below the skyline. I'd go back home once the sun had set. And I'd try to not think.
Like that would ever happen.


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Thanks to PartyPoison for the complement last chapter. Hope you like this one.
-xoxo Pansy.