Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > New Unexpected Friend
New Unexpected Friend
2 reviewsGerard becomes friends with someone he least expects. Summary sucks but the story is really good plz read
0Unrated
Reviews
New Unexpected Friend
(#) SyraStrange 2012-01-16
It's a good start to a story. Words of advice:
Spell check everything: things sound instantly better if you spell stuff right.
Dialogue: whenever someone else starts talking start a new paragraph, it makes everything way less confusing.
Details: describe shit like there is no tomorrow. A 'cute girl' isn't exactly a picture in my mind. Where? What? Answer those questions throughout your story. Plus, it beefs up your story. People are attracted to long chaps.
Background Info: Who is Sammy? I mean, he sounds extremely Mary sue, but at least give some background on why he's trying to murder young Gerard Way. Who? What? When? Where? Aswer the questions throughout story...
I'm sorry I left such a long review, I just thought you liked writing so I thought it would help if I left some tips to help you become a better writer. You don't have to listen to these stuff, I just wanted to help... If this is your passion, keep doing it! Never let anyone tell you otherwise.
-SyraAuthor's response
Dude thanks! Its my first time writing and I really want to get better at it. Your advice is really appreciated!
Sign up to review this story.