FicWad

Shit.

I lay there, the words “now I’m going to get my fun” that Tim had said before running through my head before he raped me for the last time. I shuddered, laying on the ground in the stall and curling into a ball. I knew I would be shocked if I were pregnant, but not this shocked. I had expected tears of joy. Oh, how naïve I can be sometimes…

I don’t know how long I laid there on the dirty tile floor, curled into a tight ball, but it was enough time for Party to radio me. I felt my radio crackle to life in my pocket, but I didn’t move to get it. I had Tim’s offspring, why live anymore?

“Violet?” Party’s radio voice said, hoping to catch me say something. “Vi?” he said again, but I still didn’t move. I didn’t want to move from this moment so I wouldn’t have to worry about the kid or running away or dying my hair or finding my mask. Party must have left the radio running because I heard him discussing something with another person in the background.

“---gotta go get her--- I gotta go find her, Kobra,” Party said, his voice carrying over the line radio. I blinked, not wanting to be found anymore.

“---time, Party, we need to--- ready for tom---“ Kobra’s voice said, making me wonder how many other people could hear them. I shut my eyes, wanting nothing more than to die. My eyes burst open, and I remembered something. I remembered the will I had gotten to live when I was stuck with Tim last night, to tell my story to the world. I shut my eyes again, knowing I had been defeated by Korse, in other ways than death.

“Kobra, I gotta go find her,” Party pleaded, his voice small but shockingly clear over the radio. I grabbed my radio and threw it across the bathroom under the stall door, having it shatter to a million pieces on the wall. Please, God, just kill me now.

I heard a knock at the bathroom’s main door, and I cringed. Of course Party would know to come here first. I sighed, and apparently Party heard me because he opened the door cautiously, making sure he wasn’t about to hit me or anything. I saw his black boots cross the bathroom floor, looking in every stall and pushing at each door with a creak, and I took a breath. It would be a matter of seconds before he came to my stall, but I didn’t want him to see me, or me see him and the disappointment on his face.

Party’s boots stopped before my stall’s door, and I heard him press the door, which was locked. I shut my eyes, willing myself not to cry. Party tried to open the door, but when he stopped trying to open the door, I heard the shift of clothing while I think he looked under the stall door. I felt his gaze upon me, and I felt a tear escape my shut eyes. I heard the door lock open, and felt Party’s shadow on me. I took shallow breaths, wishing he wasn’t here. I felt strong arms pick me up and walk out of the stall. Party’s scent wafted through my nostrils, making me breathe him in. I felt another tear escape my eyes, and my breath became a silent shudder. Party wasn’t the dad, I was knocked up again, Tim was the father… So many thoughts were running through my head, making it hurt and more tears to escape my eyes.

Party set me down on the counter of the sink in the bathroom, where I curled into a ball again. I heard him take a breath and open his mouth. “Violet?” he said softly, but I didn’t answer. I didn’t want him to know and suffer. Party sighed and I heard him walk away, making me feel more alone than ever. I heard the shift of cloth again, and I cringed. He was picking up the test…

Party’s mouth opened loudly, and I felt more tears escape my eyes. I began to wheeze softly from my windpipes beginning to close as an asthma attack creeped upon me, slowly but surely. I wouldn’t tell Party, though. I might as well die now.

Party’s footsteps walked over to me, and I felt his body heat by my legs. I shut my eyes tighter, willing him to walk away. He didn’t read my mind like he normally does, though. Instead, he pulled me up and into a hug, his breathing shaking a little. I felt more tears escape my eyes, and I decided to let it out, to stop the tears from falling.

I cried in Party’s arms for seconds, minutes, hours… However long we were there. I felt ashamed of myself for letting Tim get me again. I felt mad at myself for being an ass hole, which led me into a fight with Party, which led me to Korse, which led me to something worse than death. I felt sad because now I was stuck with a kid for nine months before the rest of its life. I cried heavily on Party, soaking his shirt and my face in tears. I felt some of Party tears on my head as he held me in his arms like a (cringe) baby. I didn’t know what he was crying about, but his reasons probably weren’t the same as mine.

I finally ran out of tears, wrung out like a dish towel. My breathing was labored, because by now the slow asthma attack was halfway to its mark: death. Party didn’t let go of me, but began to walk. I didn’t know where he was walking, but I heard some sounds and smelled some scents of the Black as Party passed through, conversation dying down to a suspicious murmur. I still didn’t move from my curled position, but I felt Party pull me in closer.

After five minutes of walking, my face was enveloped in a bright light, which I was guessing was the Sun. I felt Party’s arm slip away from me, and I opened my eyes, looking upon the face of Tim, grinning his sick smile, saying, “I told you I was going to have my fun.” I closed my eyes, not wanting to see his face.

In the abyss I heard yelling and felt the air around me shaking me, but I refused to open my eyes, for fear that I might see Tim again. The shaking grew violent, and I shut my eyes tighter, not wanting to see anything. I felt my face being hit with something, but that was nothing compared to what has happened to me before. I heard voice yell my name,” VIOLET!” and I opened my eyes slowly, dreading what I would see.

I felt another violent shake around my shoulders, and my vision was blurry, but I was able to see the flash of red hair in the dim bathroom light. I blinked, trying to get my focus to come back, and I felt hands holding my arms, my right numb and my left feeling sore. My eyes finally came into focus, and I took in Party’s scared face, the pregnancy test beside him, and my mask lying on the floor, face down. I shut my mouth, knowing I was yelling and screaming bloody murder, and I grabbed my mask, standing up rather woozily.

“Violet Rage?” Party asked, and I gave him a death glare normally reserved for Korse. Party backed up a step, face confused and shocked. I felt his pain. The one he admitted to loving was just screaming on a bathroom floor, totally out of it, with a positive pregnancy test lying by her.

“Just…” I said, and broke down, beginning to cry. Party hurried over and engulfed me in a comforting hug, shushing me softly and stroking my hair. I was worried this was the dream again, but every so often Party would say something or do something that only Party Poison would do, letting me know this was reality. I felt a blush creep to my already flushed cheeks, as I must have been talking in my sleep. As I shook with each sob, Party held me tighter to him, not loose, but not strangling.

I heard footsteps outside the bathroom door, but I didn’t turn to the door. I heard the door open though, and I turned to face the head staring at Party and I hugging.

Kobra blinked, confusion clear on his face. “What happened, you guys?” he said, walking into the woman’s bathroom.

I turned my face to Party’s chest as Party told the situation to Kobra. I noticed in the small chunk of bathroom mirror I could see Kobra was nodding, listening to Party’s words carefully. I felt ashamed of myself and shut my eyes. Kobra spoke every so often, or gave an ‘mmhm’, but nothing more.

Party pulled me out of his chest, holding my arms and examining my face. “I think she’s okay for tomorrow,” Party said, and I looked at him, confused, totally missing that whole conversation. “You good for tomorrow?” Party asked, and I took a breath.

I nodded after a few seconds, and turned to Kobra, still in Party’s arms. “I call riding in the trans am, though,” I joked with a small smirk, and I received a smile from both Party and Kobra.

“There we go, the old Violet,” Kobra said, and Party gave him a warning glance. “Just… Oh, c’mere,” Kobra said, opening his arms in a hug.

I walked out of Party’s arms into Kobra’s, Kobra smelling like coffee and cigarettes too. I wondered if the guys were brothers, and I looked back at the two, noticing similarities I never noticed before.

“No. Fucking. Way,” I said, looking at Kobra, then to Party, then back again. “You guys are brothers?”

Party nodded and punched Kobra in the arm. “The Way Bros, mmhm,” he said, looking at Kobra. “Vi, meet Mikey.”

I looked at Kobra (aka Mikey) and nodded. “Who’s the oldest?”

Kobra crossed his arms and mocked a frown as Party said, “I am by three years. This one I swear is older in dog years though.”

Kobra laughed, and I chuckled, checking my pockets for everything. Gun? Check. Batteries? Enough to last a week of continuous blasts, check. Mask? I patted my head, making sure it was there. Check. I smiled at the guys laughing and walked out of the bathroom, heading towards the entrance of the Black.

Footsteps, and Party called after me. “Vi, wait!”

I turned around, prepared to shoot something, anything. I smiled a sickly grin and put my hand in my pocket with my gun. “What, Party? What is it?”

Party ran up to me and kissed me quickly. “I love you, Violet.”

I felt my hand pull out of my pocket and wrap around Party, without impulse. It’s amazing at how rough these last three days have gone, and here we were, holding each other. I closed my eyes, happy I didn’t pull out my gun and hold it to my head. I took a big breath in, and kissed Party on the cheek.

“Thank you, Party Poison,” I said, backing away from Party. “I’ll always remember you.”

Party looked at me weird. “Violet, what the hell are you saying?” he asked, walking towards me.

I smiled a sad smile and felt the little pieces of me shatter in my head. “I’ll miss you, Party Poison,” I said, turning away from Party and walking into the desert, the sun beating on my head, my instincts beating on my insane mind, and my feet beating on the dusty ground. Famous Last Words, I thought happily, my insanity taking me under as I walked on.