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After we went back to Cesar's so he could get cleaned up and fresh. I was waiting on the couch watching MTV when Cesar jogged down the stairs with his button up shirt on, but not buttoned. His tan abs shining in the light. I just had to look too long. "You like what you see, mija?" Cesar asked. I laughed and nodded. He smiled and came to sit next to me on the couch, picking up the remote to turn off the TV. "I like what I see too."
"Where?" I looked around the room. He laughed. "Oh!" I just noticed he was looking at me. "Thanks." I blushed and pulled my hair behind my ear. He took my hand and held it against his chest, closing his eyes. I felt his heart beat on my palm. I felt the beat speed up.
"See what you do to me, loca?" He opened his eyes and looked at me. I smiled. He leaned in and I did too. Now we were kissing. From there we were making out on the couch. It's been a while since we took some time for just us. I love these moments. It reminds me why I love him so much. How I would probably die if he left me or passed on. After a few minutes of swaping spit we stopped to catch our breath. "Should we go out, or just stay in?" Cesar laughed hard while he was panting.
"Well, I was looking forward to going out and having some fun!" I whined.
"Fine! Fine! We'll go to the beach." He got up and started buttoning up his shirt.
"To the beach?" I asked. "At this time of night?"
"Yeah, why not? It's us time. We can do whatever we want." He smiled showing his cute square teeth.
"Okay." I laughed. "Let's get the hell outta here?" I got up. "Are we gonna come back fuckin' hella late?"
"I think we should just rent a hotel and come back late tomorrow. It's still Friday today."
"Where are we gonna get the money? I have some saved up from my last summer job at the day care, but not that much." I said.
"Abuelita had a trustfund set up for me. She had several shares and stocks. That lady was smart. And since it's about us, she would want us to use this money." He smiled and took the black leather Bible from the shelf in the corner of the room. He opened it to stacks of dollar bills. "She set this one day when I came during the summer. She told me if I ever needed it for anything, even for my girl," he looked at me, "she said I could take some. And she kept adding more money to it each time she had spare bills in her purse. She said it was just for me. That I was her favorite. I haven't taken any money from here since she started it. I always had extra money from summer jobs that I never needed any of it." I heard his voice crack and start to get more soft as he talked about her. He missed her. I missed her. We all did. Even her plants did. "Te amo, Abuelita." He said before he took some cash from the Bible and closed it up, putting it back on the shelf. "Are you ready?"
"Yeah. I am if you are." I said softly.
"I am. I just miss her so much." He sniffled.
"We all do. We all share your pain. Don't you ever forget that." I lifted his chin with my finger to see his eyes tearing up. "Don't forget that." I kissed him and then we packed a small bag and were headed to the beach.
The car ride was filled with laughter, music, singing and small conversation. And once we got there we hit the club. It was only midnight and the club was open till three in the morning. The bass was bumping and there were people everywhere. The lights were blinding and the drinks were flowing. Cesar and me got on the floor grinding and dance and just having a good time. And when the DJ slowed it down for a while, Cesar and me were still there holding each other tightly. It was two when we left to get some food. We found a small restuarant on a corner, surprised it was still open, and had some good food. A burger and some fries for Cesar, and a plate of spagehtti for me with buttered bread sticks and a small salad. It was good. Then we looked for a small hotel room and crashed. By the time we got up it was noon. I was the first up. "Babe." I called Cesar. His arm hanging over me. I sat up and shook him, "Cesar."
"Hmmm?" He mumbled.
"Get up." I giggled.
"Why?" He snuggled closer to me.
"Because I want to hit the beach! Get up! Get your shorts on and we're gonna go down to the beach and have a blast! Get up!" I dragged him from the bed to the floor and to the bathroom, closing the door so he can get dressed. For Spring, it was a sunny day with good 70 degree weather. I was done putting on my 2-piece when Cesar came out in his swim trunks. They were red with white Hawaiian flowers on them. "Cute!"
"And yours is nice too." My 2-piece was turquoise with small pink Hawaiian flowers on the top and the bottom. And small rainbows. I smiled and we grabbed some towels and went to the beach. It was beautiful. The water was a nice light blue and there were few clouds in the sky. The sand was not hot, but not cold either. It was a perfect day. With Cesar by my side watching and listening to the waves crashing on the shore. Playing soccer, volleyball, splashing around in the water. Just having a good time. And when we were done with the beach, we went into town to see what there was. There were small shops and cafes. And walking down the street I saw a small shop with lots of things from shells to huge beach towels and hand made jewelry.
"Ooo! Let's see what else is in here!" I grabbed Cesar's hand and pulled him into the store. "Ooo! Look at these." I walked over to the beach dresses on the wall. "The red one is cute." I pointed to it. It had a white Hawaiian flower print and thin spaghetti straps that ties around the neck.
"Get it. I'll look cute on you." Cesar smiled.
"Are you sure? I have money." I started saying.
"It's fine! I think I brought more than enough." I smiled and asked the clerk to get it down for me. "Anything else that you see just tell me." I nodded and we browsed through the store. Both going around in different ways looking at different things. Then, I remembered it was our anniversary today!
"Shit!" I whispered to myself. I needed to buy Cesar something nice, and meaningful. Something that expesses my love for him. Maybe a ring? No! Maybe a shirt? No! I need to think!
"How's the shopping going?" Cesar came up to me midthought and scared the crap out of me.
"Shit! You scared me." I smacked him on his arm then rubbed my head.
"You only have that?" Cesar asked, looking at my empty arms except for the red dress.
"I was looking, but there's not much here. And I don't want to spend you're money is one place." I smiled.
"Okay, then. Let's get outta here and see what else there is." We headed to the register to buy the dress and then left. It was when I grabbed Cesar's hand that I noticed he had a small bag he was holding.
"What's this?" I asked.
"Nothing." Cesar quickly said. From that response I got worried. Is he cheating on me? Who's that for? Why doesn't he want me to know what's in the bag?
"Okay, then." I frowned and just kept on walking not even looking at him. I forgot about holding his hand and about his present for our anniversary. We just continued walking in silence. He knew I was mad at him, but he didn't say anything.
"Do you just wanna get something to eat and chill at the hotel?" He asked.
"I don't care." He just sighed and we ate quietly at a small restaraunt and then went back to the room. Cesar immediately went to the bathroom and showered, taking his bag with him. I just decided that Cesar would never cheat on me or buy something else for somebody that he didn't love. Maybe somebody's birthday was coming up and I just don't remember. So I took my purse and went to a lingerie store to buy something cute to where for our anniverssary.
After I paid for the little suit I found I ran back to the room. I was lucky he was still in the bathroom. I quickly cleaned up the room, ripped the tags off the suit and get into it before he came out. I was laying on the bed in a small, black lace push-up bra, small short lace underwear and fish nets that go up midthigh. I had my hair down and curled. When he came out with a towel wrapped around his waist he saw me on the bed and smiled. "What's this?" He asked.
"Well, it is our anniverssary." I said.
"That's right. 3 years." He sighed. "Damn!" I giggled. "But I though you were mad at me?" He asked.
"I was. But then I thought, that the present you bought was for someone you loved. Like a friend. And I can't be mad at you for being a good friend." I explained.
"Or a good boyfriend?" Cesar took the bag and opened it.
"Huh?"
"You wouldn't seriously think I would forget about our anniverssary. Much less buy you something that was beautiful as an expression of my love for you, did you?" He smiled and took out a small red leather box from the bag. He came over and kneeled next to the bed. "This is for you." He opened it. Inside was a small silver ring with an opal stone in the middle. With smaller diamonds to its side. I gasped. "Happy 3-year Anniverssary." I felt like crying. How could I be so stupid! The thing was for me. Only Cesar would do that.
"Ugh! I hate you!" I pushed him and sat up on the bed.
"Why?"
"For making me mad at you for no reason!" I frowned.
"First of all, I didn't make you mad at me. You chose to feel that way." He started. "And second, you didn't ask who it was for, you ask what is was." Now he's making me feel worse.
"I'm sorry." I pouted.
"Esta bien, amor." He kissed me. "Te amo."
"Y yo amo a ti." I smiled. He took the ring out and slipped it on my middle finger. I just kept smiling. He looked up at me and grinned. I kissed him forever. He started to crawl on the bed, then on top of me. He knew I wasn't going to give him the golden ticket, and he respected that. We just made out. Fooled around for a while and then watched a movie on HBO. I fell asleep in his arms. 3 friggin years! I can't believe it.
But when I woke around 4 in the morning to go pee, I had to move his arm from me and when I did he moved to get comfortable again. I got up and walked over to the door to the bathroom and before I went in I heard Cesar mumble, "Mmmm, Ava."
"Ava?" I whispered. Now I didn't believe it. I went to the bathroom and when I came out I pushed him to one side of the bed and laid down. I didn't want him to touch me. If he was dreaming about Ava, then he can have her, touch her, kiss and do whatever with her.

The next day, on Sunday. We packed and were headed back to the house. I was in the passenger seat and Cesar was driving when I asked him, "What were you dreaming about last night?"
"Why, babe? Did I say something last night? Abuelita told me I always talked in my sleep." Cesar said.
"Well, yeah you did." I frowned.
"What did I say?" Cesar giggled.
"Something about Ava." I said lowly. Almost a whisper.
"Oh." He said. After a few moments of silence he said, "I honestly don't know what I was dreaming about. I don't remember."
"Okay, then." I sighed.
"Look, I wouldn't do that to you. I hate Ava as much as you and-"
"I said okay then! What don't you understand that I don't want to talk about this anymore!?" I cut him off.
"Fine, then. I'll shut up." Cesar let out a rushed breath.
"Good." I frowned and looked out the window. The whole ride from then was quiet. No music, no noise except from the car engine. We just sat there in our tension. He dropped me off at my house and took my stuff up to my room without a word and left to his house. I know he wanted a kiss or even a hug before he left, but I had to make a point that I was mad at him and he couldn't make me happy again with his charm and cute baby face.
I just went upstairs, after he left, and unpacked the red dress, the lingerie and fishnets. Then, I saw the ring on my finger and remembered how much he loved me and that I probably hear him wrong. Maybe he said Ada instead of Ava. He did mumble it. And our names sound alike. Maybe I'm over exagerating this whole situation. Maybe I should call him. Then, I remember that I should have two teenagers wrestling in my living room, or playing video games in their room. But I don't hear anything. "Valentin! Gordo?!" I call. But there's no answer. I start getting worried real fast. "Valentin!! Gordo!" I call again walking to their room, to the living room, to the kitchen. Then, when I don't find them in the house I start to panic. I call Celestine. "Hey, have you seen Valentin, or Gordo around?" I ask once she answers.
"Well, last I heard Limon took them to LA to take 'em shopping. From there, I don't know."
"Okay. I'll call Limon." I hang up and dial Limon's cell number. It rings a few times before I hear Limon. "Hey, do you have Valentin, or Gordo? Perferably both?" I ask.
"Yeah, we're here at my house hanging. They seem to set their eye on my two little sisters." Limon said.
"Oh thank God." I sigh. "I thought something happened to them." I breathed.
"Nah. They're in safe hands. And where have you been? Haven't seen you around for a while."
"I went to the beach with Cesar."
"Did you guys have fun?"
"Kinda." I say.
"Mmm. That's not good. Why don't you come over and we'll talk about it?"
"Sure, okay."
I took my car to Limon's. All three boys were on the lawn sitting in white plastic patio chairs with two girls. Limon's little sisters. I parked along the curb infront of his house. When I got I heard, "How was your mini vacation with Cesar?" I shrugged, walking up to them on the lawn.
"It was okay."
"Ooooo!" Valentin and Gordo both furrowed their brows.
"Shut up." I laughed and pulled a chair from the porch and sat next to Limon. Valentin and Gordo went back to talking with the girls.
"Why don't we go inside and let these kids talk?" Limon slapped my thigh.
"Ugh! You're gonna make me get up again?" I whined.
"Don't be a lazy bumb." Limon laughed and I followed inside. The rooms were all clean and everything was put into place from the last time I saw this place. The house felt lighter than ever before. I felt comfortable here for the first time since Limon's mom died 2 years ago.
"Man, this place cleans up good." I said looking around more.
"I know. I haven't been able to see the light wood floors in forever." Limon went into the kitchen to grab us some beers.
"Chale, loco." I smiled. He just laughed. I haven't said that in a while. Because there was no need to. I sat down on the blue couch and Limon sat next to me. He handed me the beer and I took a small sip. "What the hell is this?" I asked. There was no label on the brown, glass bottle.
"Homemade shit I got from a homie." He said. "So, what's up with you and Cesar?"
"I don't know, man. Last night I heard him say Ava in his dream." Limon choked on his beer. "Yeah, I know. That stupid bitch. I fuckin' ran into at the mall yersterday with Armando and Jefe. She wanted to start some shit, but she ended up punkin' out like usual." I took another sip, but this time bigger. Held it in my mouth and then swallowed it. The bitter taste felt really good.
"That puta. I hate that cow." Limon shook his head and chugged his beer. I just laughed. This stuff was strong. I was already feeling a buzz.
"Anyway," I continued. "I might have heard him wrong. Since both our names sounds the same. He might have been dreaming of me. But I won't know that." I took a gulp from the beer this time.
Limon got up to go get another beer and from the kitchen he asked, "And did you even ask him?"
"Yeah! But he's says he doesn't remember." I stared at an old picture of all of us in front of Abuelita's house playing with the hose on a hot sunny day during the summer. Limon emerged from the kitchen.
"Well, then he doesn't know. And I can't help you with that because that kid doesn't like me anyway. I'm pretty sure if he knew you were here right now he would go all crazy and shit." I nodded, still staring at the picture. Limon looked at the picture too and let his body fall on the couch next to me with a heavy sigh. It was quiet in the room for a while.
"Did you acutally kill her, Limon?" I asked. My eyes getting watery.
"Do you actually think I would kill Abuelita when she has done so much for me in my life? She was my hero." Limon chugged another beer and then just decided to bring the whole case instead of having to get up and go get another one every five minutes.
"Then who did?" I asked.
"Someone I already took care of." Limon snorted.
"'An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.' Ghandi." I said.
"Obviously." Limon knew what I was talking about. He knew he shouldn't have killed whoever it was that shot Abuelita, but he did anyway out of anger and rage and revenge. Which was okay with me, because I would have done the same (I had a feeling Limon didn't do it, but someone had to be blamed. That's why I didn't go after Limon.), I just wanted him to be aware the next time he vengefully kills someone.
"'Be the change you want to see in the world.'"
"Ghando again." Limon laughed.
"He was just a good word gatherer!" I smiled.
"Yeah, I wish I was like him. More peaceful and grounded." Limon sighed and stared at the beer bottle in his hands.
"Don't we all." I sighed and laid my head back on the couch closing my eyes. It was silent for a few minutes.
"Ada?" Limon asked.
"Yeah?"
"Why did you choose Cesar?" The question Limon asked was so bizzar I had to open my eyes and look at him to make sure he was being serious or not.
"What do mean, Limon?" Le pregunte.
"Porque escojiste a Cesar?" Limon repeated.
"Because he's nice, he's thoughtful. Isn't a horndog and isn't in the ganglife. It's hard to find all that in one person." I said.
"What about me? Who am I to you?" I was confused. Where was all this coming from? Why is he asking all these personal questions?
"You're my old friend. You're funny, chill, but still in the gangs and not responsible for most of what you do. But still my friend." I smiled and leaned my head on his shoulder.
"Does Cesar make you laugh?" Okay, now he was really confusing me.
"Why all the personal questions, Limon? Why now of all times you could have asked?" I closed my eyes.
"'Cause I'm in love with you." Limon whispered. Right then my eyes burst open and my heart beat picked up. I lifted my head and looked at him.
Limon's head was down in his hand, a beer in the other, almost ashamed. "What?" I asked. "How? Why? When?" I started asking.
"Nevermind, Ada! It doesn't matter!" Limon started yelling.
"Yes, it does, Limon." I placed my hand on his arm softly. He looked at my hand. "When did you start liking me?"
"Fifth grade." He said. I just opened and closed my mouth a few times. He looked up at me and the next thing I know Limon's lips are on mine.