Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back

Chapter 4

by CoffeeBeanzz 1 review

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama - Characters: Gerard Way - Published: 2011-03-30 - Updated: 2011-03-30 - 2655 words

Bonjour, sorry took so long to update. I had really bad writers block, and some friendship issues. Soo, uh I hope you like it : ) Lyrics courtesy of Florence + The Machine – Heavy In Your Arms. I only own the original characters in the story etc.

Gerard’s point of view:
Jo leapt up and started clearing the plates away into the kitchen, which from what I could see, was very cramped. Having taken all her layers off, I noted that she was wearing a large grey hoodie, which stated ‘I heart dogs’ and when she leant forward; the hood fell over her face. I giggled, noticing that the hood had ears on it. Her grey skinny jeans only highlighted her extremely long legs, and she looked like some sort of model, except she didn’t need the heels to gain height. She filled the dishwasher up, and then had to wrestle the dogs out, as they were frantically washing the dishes she had put in there. Once she had finished the chores, she turned and grinned at me, clapping her hands together. ‘Right. Let’s make some phone calls.’

Jo’s point of view:
Gerard had been watching me intently, a look of fascination on his face. I grabbed the house phone from its cradle and walked over to the table. ‘Who do you want me to call?’ I asked plopping down on the chair next to him. ‘Uhhh’ he mumbled, pulling out his phone. ‘Ray.’ I offered him the phone, and he dialled in the number. He passed the phone back, and suddenly I was overwhelmed by nervousness, what if they demand Gerard go back right now, or they are angry at me, for not trying to get him back to them?
My stomach did back flips as I pressed the call button. I pressed the loudspeaker button, so that Gerard could hear too. Ray picked up on the second ring ‘Hello?’ He sounded weary, and anxious. I took a deep breath, ‘Hello Ray, My name is Jo, and I’m ringing to tell you that I found Gerard in a pretty bad way at my local park, and I took him back to my house. He’s safe now.’ There were voices at the end of the other end of the line and I heard Ray call ‘its Gerard!’ I glanced over at Gerard; he was nibbling at his already too short nails. Another voice came on, I think Mikey’s, ‘Where are you? Is Gerard there? Is he okay? Can I talk to him?’ His voice sounded panicky, yet filled with relief because his brother was still alive and safe. ‘I think he’s okay now, he was nearly hypothermic when I found him. He’s at my house; he can stay as long as he likes, and I’m not sure if he’s ready to talk to you...’ I looked over at Gerard to see if he wanted to say anything, and he stared back, shaking his head, his eyes filled with panic. ‘Well thank you I guess, tell Gerard to call me when he’s ready. Can I contact you on this number?’ I saw Gerard relax beside me, relieved that he didn’t have to talk yet. ‘Sure, feel free to call anytime! Any problems, call me’ I said, running a hand through my hair, and breathing a sigh of relief. I clicked the end call button and turned to Gerard. ‘Problem solved. Now everyone knows where you are and you can be easily contacted. So whatcha wanna do now?’

Gerard’s point of view:
I thought for a moment. ‘ICE CREAM’ I shrieked, tickling Jo and then running out to the kitchen. She giggled and followed me through to the kitchen. She opened the lower half of the fridge and began pulling out several tubs of ice cream and placing them on the side. I looked round. ‘Whoa. It’s cramped in here.’
‘I know’ she tutted and slammed all the drawers of the freezer. ‘It sucks but it’ll do. Are you feeling better now?’
‘Yes, and the ice cream will make it even better!’ I said grabbing the tubs and two spoons and heading out to the living room. ‘There’s just something about ice cream that makes it all better!’
She sat on the sofa and pulled her knees up to her chin. ‘I’m glad. You scared me back there.’ Her fringe flopped in her eyes, and I noticed how pale she was. She was nearly paler than me. She watched me, concern in her eyes, like I might disappear any second. I realised that my actions were affecting more people than I thought. We opened a tub of vanilla, and dug in, just enjoying each other’s company. I hadn’t known her for long but she had a calming influence, which made me feel like nothing bad was going to happen in her presence. She paused, pointing her spoon at me ‘You know, I actually don’t like ice cream that much. It hurts my teeth.’ I gasped.
‘How can you not like ice cream!?’ I wailed slamming the lid on the ice cream.
She giggled. ‘I don’t know really, I just, don’t’ she picked up the ice cream and returned it to the fridge. ‘I don’t know about you, but I am exhausted. I’m going to head up to bed. I’ll show you where you will be sleeping if you want.’
I grinned and jumped up, following her up the stairs. She led me along the landing to a door on the right. It opened up to a largish room, with a queen sized bed dominating most of the space. ‘This will be your room’ she said opening the door wider so I could come in. ‘Is it okay?’
I smiled ‘its fine. It’ll be nice to have somewhere to sleep tonight’ I flopped down on the bed, immediately feeling at home. ‘Good. Well I’ll be in my room at the other end of the landing if you need me, nigghtttttt.’ And with that she skipped out my room, leaving me with my thoughts.
2 hours later
I’ve been pacing up and down the room for quite a while now. I am doing my best not to think about the circumstances that brought me here today. I wondered what Jo’s bedroom looked like. It was probably painted a dark colour with lots of band posters all over it. Curiosity got the better of me, and I crept across the landing, reaching her door, which had her name written all over it. There was a giant bookcase outside, full of hundreds of fascinating books. I gently pushed the door, knocking into her door curtain, which made a rather loud tinkling noise. Panicking I froze. When I heard no noise, I guessed she was still asleep. Slipping through the gap, I surveyed her room. It was definitely not what I expected. Two walls were painted a hot pink colour, and the other two were painted a cream colour. Her room was large, a desk with mountains of stuff on it, including several sketch pads, and books on photography. Hundreds of pictures of her and friends littered the walls. A dresser with an old fashioned mirror sat on the other side of the room, reflecting my gaunt face several times. I crossed the room, to her bed, which was under the window. The shelf above her bed held a black vintage candle holder. Above that was a black parade poster. It felt odd to look at a large picture of myself on the wall.
Jo was sat on the corner of her bed, propped up by the wall. Her chin was resting on her chest; her deep breathing confirmed she was asleep. A sketch pad and several pencils lay in her lap, and her iPod lay by her side. Gerard picked up the iPod and put the headphones in. It was still on and playing on shuffle. It was playing one of his band’s songs ‘thank you for the venom’ he sighed, and gently pulled the sketch pad out of her grip. He flipped to a couple of the previous pages; there were a couple of portraits of her friends, and a random cartoon drawing and a sketch of a unicorn. He flipped back to the drawing she was currently working on. It seemed very dark at first, and he found it difficult to make out shapes. The music suddenly changed, and a woman’s voice began to sing. ‘I was a heavy heart to carry, my beloved was weighed down, my arms around his neck, my fingers laced a crown.’ The drawing was of a girl in a forest. She was looking over her shoulder, a look of fear on her face. He looked closer. She had angel’s wings. The trees that surrounded her seemed to be contorted into grotesque shapes. ‘I was a heavy heart to carry, my feet dragged across the ground, and he took me to the river, where he slowly let me drown.’ I noticed there were shapes under the trees. People. They looked plain next to the beauty of the girl. ‘My love has concrete feet, my love’s an iron ball, wrapped around your ankles, over the waterfall.’ I noticed that the people, or rather creatures, were reaching out to her, pleading looks on their faces. One of the creatures had come up behind her, and it was holding a knife to her back, but she hadn’t seen. ‘Who is the betrayer? Who’s the killer in the crowd? The one who creeps in corridors, and doesn’t make a sound’ something touched my shoulder. I gasped and looked up.

Jo’s point of view:
I woke up to see Gerard standing next to my bed, my sketch book in his hands. I giggled; he was also listening to my iPod, a look of concentration on his face. His hair had flopped in his eyes, and his knuckles had turned white because he was gripping the sketch pad so tight. I sat up, and gently touched his shoulder. He leapt back, startled, my sketch pad clattered to the floor. ‘Whoa. You scared me!’
I laughed, grabbing my sketch pad off the floor, and hugging it to my chest. ‘I guessed. My drawings aren’t very good. I just do it to get ideas out of my head.’
‘Really?’ he asked ‘I think they’re pretty good. Where did you get the idea for the one you were doing just now?’
I glanced down at my feet embarrassed. ‘Well, I think, well, I know, it’s a memory.’ I looked up to see his reaction.
He nodded. ‘Hmm, that’s... interesting.’ He then looked me up and down, finally taking in my appearance. ‘What are you wearing!?’
I giggled ‘It’s my floaty dress. It has wings, see?’ I waved my arms around, showing him the black floaty mesh like material that hung over my arms and made me look like I had wings. It was one of my favourite dresses.
‘Okay. Why are you wearing it?’ he giggled too. I grabbed his hands and began to dance round my bedroom with him.
‘Because wearing floaty dresses and dancing cheer me up when I am having one of my bad days.’
He paused, spinning me round ‘Bad days?’ he questioned.
‘The days when I am scared the depression will come back.’
He froze next to me, dropping my hands. ‘You are too young. You don’t even know what depression means. You don’t know what it feels like! You don’t understand you are just a stupid girl!’ He was shouting now.
I gasped, my hands fluttered around my chest, it felt like he had just stabbed me right in the heart. The tears flowed freely down my face, spattering on the floor. Grabbing my thick coat and a blanket, I pushed past him and ran out the door. Pulling on my boots, I ran out the front door and into the welcoming silence of the night.

Gerard’s point of view:
Shit. What had I done? I had just snapped at the one girl who had welcomed me in at my time of need. She had tried to help me, but I had pushed her away. ‘Jo!’ I called. The front door slammed. Grabbing a jacket off her door, I ran down the stairs, tripping over my feet. I grabbed my sneakers from the shoe rack, shoved them on, and threw open the front door. Footsteps in the snow gave me a trail to follow. The full moon lit my path. ‘Joo!’ I whispered, terrified of waking the neighbours. Her footsteps lead further into her housing estate, taking sharp turns here and there. I reached what I thought was a dead end, cut off by hedges, but her footprints continued. I jogged faster; my heavy breathing was the only sound I could hear. The path opened up into a large field, and I could see her silhouette in the moonlight, making its way straight through the middle of the field. I picked up the pace, as I grew closer I could hear her sobs. She passed through a gate at the other end of the field. I followed. It led to a forest. Except it wasn’t really a forest, as the trees were in uniform rows. I finally caught up with her, and reached out, grabbing her arm. She whirled round, heartbreak evident in her eyes. ‘What do you want?’ she hissed.
‘I didn’t mean what I said. Tell me your story. I believe you have been through depression. I don’t think you’re a stupid girl.’
Sighing, she laced her fingers through mine, and pulled me underneath a large oak tree. It was so broad that the snow hadn’t touched the area underneath. I snuggled up next to her. She spread her blanket over both of us. ‘It was a dark time in my life. I was young; I didn’t totally understand what was happening myself. I was fainting, and at the time no one knew why. The doctors later decided it was stress. I was undergoing hundreds of hospital tests, and at one point I wasn’t allowed at school, because they said I was a health and safety risk. My friends were cautious around me, like I might explode any second. I was slipping in a steady downwards spiral. I felt trapped with no way out. I felt like I was stuck on the outside. Alone. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I couldn’t reach it. I loathed having a psychiatrist; I didn’t want to have mental problems on top of everything else. I made it out the other side. Supposedly. I am still terrified it will come back.’ She ran a hand through her hair looking away. Tears poured down her cheeks, her shoulders shaking with silent sobs. I gently pulled her face so I could look her in the eyes.
‘You have been through a lot. I am truly sorry for what I said earlier.’ She nodded, trying to wipe the tears away. Suddenly I knew how I could make it better. I cupped her face in my hands. Leaning in, I gently pecked her on the lips. It was short and sweet, but full of meaning. She smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes, and wrapped her arms around my waist, tucking the blanket around us. I hugged her back, and smiled as I drifted off to sleep, watching more snowflakes join the already stunning winter landscape.

The next chapter will be more exciting I promise!! I have a few ideas in mind now ;D
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