Categories > Celebrities > Guns n' Roses > Faithfully I'm Still Yours
Laurie walked back downstairs slowly, thinking about the interactions that had just occurred between herself and Axl. She looked down at her hands, which still held the warmth he'd given them when he'd held them in his own. She wondered at the comfort she could give him, simply by being there; she obviously had something Erin didn't. She reached up and pressed her finger to the spot on her forehead where he'd touched her earlier. Then she passed her hand across her stomach, looking down at the place where a bulge would soon start appearing.
How I wish it was his, and not Izzy's, she thought, and immediately felt terrible. After all, Izzy was the one who had been there for her these past few months, not Axl; Izzy was the one who held her so tenderly and whispered sweet things in her ear at night when no one else was around.
But it had only taken those five minutes with Axl in his hotel room--and the five minutes earlier, backstage--to make Laurie realize that she was every bit as much in love with the volatile lead singer as she had ever been.
When she returned to she and Izzy's hotel room, she found him lying in their bed, waiting for her. He smiled at her as she entered, pulled the covers back for her. She dropped her robe and crawled in with him, hooking her bare legs around his. His arms went around her waist and he whispered, "What'd he want?"
"He had a nightmare," murmured Laurie, "and he wanted to talk to me about it."
Izzy nodded, like he'd known all along. "Figured," he said. He hesitated for a few seconds, then:
"Laurie?"
"Yeah?"
"When you walked in here...there was a moment when I could see you, because of the hall lights...and, well...honey, you were absolutely glowing."
Laurie's face flushed and she was glad Izzy couldn't see her in the dark. "Axl and I didn't do anything, if that's what you're implying."
"I didn't think that," murmured Izzy. "Erin was with you the whole time." But he couldn't ignore the way her body had gone slightly stiff when he'd said that, nor could he ignore the fact that she had been glowing, and she smelled different, like Axe and leather and Dawn (Axl's scent)...which meant that she had to have been awfully close to him in that room upstairs.
Which, in a way, meant that Laurie Stevens was, in fact, still very much in love with Axl Rose.
~~~
Guns N' Roses didn't leave Tulsa, Oklahoma, until one-thirty in the afternoon, due to an extended period of morning sickness for Laurie. Thankfully, the hotel allowed them to check out later than the usual time, and before too long they were in the airport, waiting for their flight.
Axl was sitting in one chair in the waiting room, watching as Izzy and Slash patted Laurie's shoulders and back and told her everything would be okay. She had her palm pressed to her forehead and was hunched over so far that her nose was touching one of her knees. She did not look like the healthy girl who had entered Axl's room the night before, she looked like a heroin addict going through withdrawal.
"Laurie," said Axl suddenly, and she looked up, her eyes haggard and rimmed with dark bags. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she said quietly, and she coughed a little. "I'm fine, Axl, really. I must've eaten something bad at the after-party last night."
A little frown creased the space between Axl's eyebrows, but he just nodded and leaned back again. Laurie let out a low moan and sank forward again, holding her stomach. Though she'd stopped throwing up two hours ago, the cramps were still there, rolling through her insides, tearing her up.
Duff walked over to them and tapped Slash on the shoulder.
"Hey, man, can I talk to you for a second?"
"Sure, man." Slash gently squeezed Laurie's shoulder. "I'm just gonna go talk to McKagan for a minute, okay? Take care of her, Izzy."
Izzy nodded once, and Slash got up and followed Duff into the mens' bathroom.
"I know what's going on," said Duff once the door was shut behind them. "You told me two months ago that Laurie and Izzy are hitched, right?"
"Yeah."
"Now Laurie is throwing up every morning and looks more miserable than a fish out of water. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out; I think the only reason Axl hasn't caught on yet is because he's not letting himself realize that his girl and his best friend could possibly be having sex behind his back." He paused.
"She is pregnant, isn't she?"
Slash hesitated. "She didn't want me to tell anyone, but...yeah. Laurie's pregnant. And it's definitely Izzy's."
"What?" The angry whisper behind the two men told them they'd been overheard by the wrong man. Slash spun around and found a very irate-looking Izzy Stradlin standing directly behind him.
"Hey, man," said Slash, looking down at his feet, ashamed for a reason he couldn't quite put into words.
"I can't believe it," said Izzy angrily. "You knew Laurie was pregnant and you didn't bother--no, wait, she knew she was pregnant and didn't bother telling me? What the fuck is up with that shit?"
"She...she didn't want Axl to find out--"
"Oh yeah? You think I could've possibly told Axl that Laurie was pregnant without letting him know who was having sex with his girl? How far along is she, man?"
Slash swallowed hard. "She's...she's two months."
Izzy's mouth grew set and hard. "I can't believe this," he whispered.
"Don't be mad at me," said Slash quietly. "I'm not the one who decided to keep this from my boyfriend."
"I'm not mad at you, bro," said Izzy, but both Duff and Slash could tell he was lying. "Did she honestly think she could have hidden it from me--from Axl--once she started showing?"
"I think...she planned on getting an abortion," said Slash softly. "But it didn't work out."
Izzy nodded. "I'm gonna go talk to her."
"No, wait!" said Slash, but Izzy had already stormed out of the bathroom.
"Oh, fuck," said Slash. He looked at Duff. "She'll kill me--"
"No, it's okay," said Duff. "She'd have to have told them sooner or later anyway. Izzy's right, man--she'd have started showing soon."
"Yeah." Slash and Duff walked out of the mens' bathroom, both of them feeling considerably less cheerful than they had been five minutes previously.
~~~
"So what's this business about you being pregnant?" asked Izzy quietly. He had taken Laurie to a store that was a fair distance from where Axl was sitting, and was talking to her as calmly as he could, but anyone could see the dark storm clouds gathering in his eyes.
Laurie looked over at Slash, wanting to be angry, but found a moment later that all the emotions had been drained out of her body. She sighed, exhausted.
"I was going to tell you--"
"When, Lauren? When you were nine months along and your water broke?"
She burst into tears, pressing her mouth into her shirtsleeve. "Please, Izzy, don't be mad at me--"
"Bitch," said Izzy, and her heart broke; he'd never called her that before, ever. "I think I have the right to be pretty fucking pissed off at you, honey. You told Slash you were pregnant, but you couldn't even find the common decency to tell me? I'm the father, Laurie!" He paused. "I bet that if Axl had been the dad, you would've told him, wouldn't you?" His eyes flashed; he laughed sarcastically.
"Oh God," whispered Laurie. "No, not necessarily. Look, Izzy, just...drop it, okay? You know now, and--"
"And so you think that by me knowing you're carrying my child in your womb, everything's gonna be okay between us again? Just like that?" He snapped his fingers. "Wake up to reality, sweetheart. Nothing in life is ever that easy." He hesitated.
"Besides, Laurie," he added after a moment in a softer voice, "when has anything ever been okay between us?"
She started crying again, and he tucked his fingers under her chin, as thought sorry for having yelled at her earlier. "Baby, look...we never were in love. Not even in the beginning of this relationship. We both have always known it; you're in love with Axl--no, don't deny it, I know you are--and I can never hope to compete with him and the hold he has on you. I'm glad you're pregnant with my child, Laurie, but you and I aren't gonna make it."
She looked up at him for the first time, tears glittering in her eyes and on her cheeks. "What?" she whispered.
"Laurie, I--I have to break this off with you. I'm sorry, but if you can't trust me enough to tell me something as important as your being pregnant with our child, then this relationship can't work. Besides, like I said earlier...I know you're still in love with Axl. We never were meant to be, Laur. You know that, and I know that, and we both also know that if we stay on we'll be absolutely miserable. I want you to be happy, honey, and I know that you'll never be truly happy unless you're in a solid relationship with Axl Rose. I will always care for you, Laurie, and we will always be good friends, okay?"
Laurie swallowed hard. "Okay," she said softly, though inside she knew, as well as he did, that nothing would ever be the same between them again.
"Now go back and sit with the guys, and I'll be along shortly," said Izzy, and Laurie got up and left him. He sank back against the wall of the airport, crying quietly, wondering if Laurie could have possibly known how relieved--how bright and excited--her eyes had gotten when he said he was letting her go.
How I wish it was his, and not Izzy's, she thought, and immediately felt terrible. After all, Izzy was the one who had been there for her these past few months, not Axl; Izzy was the one who held her so tenderly and whispered sweet things in her ear at night when no one else was around.
But it had only taken those five minutes with Axl in his hotel room--and the five minutes earlier, backstage--to make Laurie realize that she was every bit as much in love with the volatile lead singer as she had ever been.
When she returned to she and Izzy's hotel room, she found him lying in their bed, waiting for her. He smiled at her as she entered, pulled the covers back for her. She dropped her robe and crawled in with him, hooking her bare legs around his. His arms went around her waist and he whispered, "What'd he want?"
"He had a nightmare," murmured Laurie, "and he wanted to talk to me about it."
Izzy nodded, like he'd known all along. "Figured," he said. He hesitated for a few seconds, then:
"Laurie?"
"Yeah?"
"When you walked in here...there was a moment when I could see you, because of the hall lights...and, well...honey, you were absolutely glowing."
Laurie's face flushed and she was glad Izzy couldn't see her in the dark. "Axl and I didn't do anything, if that's what you're implying."
"I didn't think that," murmured Izzy. "Erin was with you the whole time." But he couldn't ignore the way her body had gone slightly stiff when he'd said that, nor could he ignore the fact that she had been glowing, and she smelled different, like Axe and leather and Dawn (Axl's scent)...which meant that she had to have been awfully close to him in that room upstairs.
Which, in a way, meant that Laurie Stevens was, in fact, still very much in love with Axl Rose.
~~~
Guns N' Roses didn't leave Tulsa, Oklahoma, until one-thirty in the afternoon, due to an extended period of morning sickness for Laurie. Thankfully, the hotel allowed them to check out later than the usual time, and before too long they were in the airport, waiting for their flight.
Axl was sitting in one chair in the waiting room, watching as Izzy and Slash patted Laurie's shoulders and back and told her everything would be okay. She had her palm pressed to her forehead and was hunched over so far that her nose was touching one of her knees. She did not look like the healthy girl who had entered Axl's room the night before, she looked like a heroin addict going through withdrawal.
"Laurie," said Axl suddenly, and she looked up, her eyes haggard and rimmed with dark bags. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she said quietly, and she coughed a little. "I'm fine, Axl, really. I must've eaten something bad at the after-party last night."
A little frown creased the space between Axl's eyebrows, but he just nodded and leaned back again. Laurie let out a low moan and sank forward again, holding her stomach. Though she'd stopped throwing up two hours ago, the cramps were still there, rolling through her insides, tearing her up.
Duff walked over to them and tapped Slash on the shoulder.
"Hey, man, can I talk to you for a second?"
"Sure, man." Slash gently squeezed Laurie's shoulder. "I'm just gonna go talk to McKagan for a minute, okay? Take care of her, Izzy."
Izzy nodded once, and Slash got up and followed Duff into the mens' bathroom.
"I know what's going on," said Duff once the door was shut behind them. "You told me two months ago that Laurie and Izzy are hitched, right?"
"Yeah."
"Now Laurie is throwing up every morning and looks more miserable than a fish out of water. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out; I think the only reason Axl hasn't caught on yet is because he's not letting himself realize that his girl and his best friend could possibly be having sex behind his back." He paused.
"She is pregnant, isn't she?"
Slash hesitated. "She didn't want me to tell anyone, but...yeah. Laurie's pregnant. And it's definitely Izzy's."
"What?" The angry whisper behind the two men told them they'd been overheard by the wrong man. Slash spun around and found a very irate-looking Izzy Stradlin standing directly behind him.
"Hey, man," said Slash, looking down at his feet, ashamed for a reason he couldn't quite put into words.
"I can't believe it," said Izzy angrily. "You knew Laurie was pregnant and you didn't bother--no, wait, she knew she was pregnant and didn't bother telling me? What the fuck is up with that shit?"
"She...she didn't want Axl to find out--"
"Oh yeah? You think I could've possibly told Axl that Laurie was pregnant without letting him know who was having sex with his girl? How far along is she, man?"
Slash swallowed hard. "She's...she's two months."
Izzy's mouth grew set and hard. "I can't believe this," he whispered.
"Don't be mad at me," said Slash quietly. "I'm not the one who decided to keep this from my boyfriend."
"I'm not mad at you, bro," said Izzy, but both Duff and Slash could tell he was lying. "Did she honestly think she could have hidden it from me--from Axl--once she started showing?"
"I think...she planned on getting an abortion," said Slash softly. "But it didn't work out."
Izzy nodded. "I'm gonna go talk to her."
"No, wait!" said Slash, but Izzy had already stormed out of the bathroom.
"Oh, fuck," said Slash. He looked at Duff. "She'll kill me--"
"No, it's okay," said Duff. "She'd have to have told them sooner or later anyway. Izzy's right, man--she'd have started showing soon."
"Yeah." Slash and Duff walked out of the mens' bathroom, both of them feeling considerably less cheerful than they had been five minutes previously.
~~~
"So what's this business about you being pregnant?" asked Izzy quietly. He had taken Laurie to a store that was a fair distance from where Axl was sitting, and was talking to her as calmly as he could, but anyone could see the dark storm clouds gathering in his eyes.
Laurie looked over at Slash, wanting to be angry, but found a moment later that all the emotions had been drained out of her body. She sighed, exhausted.
"I was going to tell you--"
"When, Lauren? When you were nine months along and your water broke?"
She burst into tears, pressing her mouth into her shirtsleeve. "Please, Izzy, don't be mad at me--"
"Bitch," said Izzy, and her heart broke; he'd never called her that before, ever. "I think I have the right to be pretty fucking pissed off at you, honey. You told Slash you were pregnant, but you couldn't even find the common decency to tell me? I'm the father, Laurie!" He paused. "I bet that if Axl had been the dad, you would've told him, wouldn't you?" His eyes flashed; he laughed sarcastically.
"Oh God," whispered Laurie. "No, not necessarily. Look, Izzy, just...drop it, okay? You know now, and--"
"And so you think that by me knowing you're carrying my child in your womb, everything's gonna be okay between us again? Just like that?" He snapped his fingers. "Wake up to reality, sweetheart. Nothing in life is ever that easy." He hesitated.
"Besides, Laurie," he added after a moment in a softer voice, "when has anything ever been okay between us?"
She started crying again, and he tucked his fingers under her chin, as thought sorry for having yelled at her earlier. "Baby, look...we never were in love. Not even in the beginning of this relationship. We both have always known it; you're in love with Axl--no, don't deny it, I know you are--and I can never hope to compete with him and the hold he has on you. I'm glad you're pregnant with my child, Laurie, but you and I aren't gonna make it."
She looked up at him for the first time, tears glittering in her eyes and on her cheeks. "What?" she whispered.
"Laurie, I--I have to break this off with you. I'm sorry, but if you can't trust me enough to tell me something as important as your being pregnant with our child, then this relationship can't work. Besides, like I said earlier...I know you're still in love with Axl. We never were meant to be, Laur. You know that, and I know that, and we both also know that if we stay on we'll be absolutely miserable. I want you to be happy, honey, and I know that you'll never be truly happy unless you're in a solid relationship with Axl Rose. I will always care for you, Laurie, and we will always be good friends, okay?"
Laurie swallowed hard. "Okay," she said softly, though inside she knew, as well as he did, that nothing would ever be the same between them again.
"Now go back and sit with the guys, and I'll be along shortly," said Izzy, and Laurie got up and left him. He sank back against the wall of the airport, crying quietly, wondering if Laurie could have possibly known how relieved--how bright and excited--her eyes had gotten when he said he was letting her go.
Sign up to rate and review this story