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By the time July rolled around, the tensions between Laurie and Izzy had abated slightly, though they still had trouble talking face-to-face. After the night in which Laurie had come down to talk to Axl about his dream, the lead singer had started being nicer to her: he'd talk to her backstage, he'd stopped yelling at her for everything she said or did, he even shared his cigarettes with her--though, of course, she'd stopped smoking weeks earlier. As Guns N' Roses prepared to play in St. Louis, Missouri, Erin decided that she had a bit to say about this:

"She's not your girlfriend, Axl."

"Hey, I'm not stupid, y'know. I'm just tired of treating her like shit."

"But she left you."

Axl took a deep breath. "Look, Erin...she hasn't been feeling well recently."

"So you're taking pity on her? You never take pity on people."

"Erin, it's not pity, it's--"

"Ever since she talked to you about your dream, you've been talking to her more and more."

"We're friends, Erin."

"You still love her, don't you?"

"Of course not," Axl lied. "Just...forget about it, okay? Let's go to the arena. We're almost two hours late."

They left the hotel for the arena; when they got there Laurie, Slash and everyone else was waiting for them in the main room backstage.

"You'd better give these people the best concert of their lives, after making them wait so long," said Doug Goldstein.

Axl rolled his eyes and slid his gaze to Laurie. She looked tired, like she hadn't been getting much sleep lately. When their eyes met, she bit down on her lower lip and looked away, passing her hands over her stomach. He wanted to ask her what was wrong--why she'd been throwing up so often lately--but he didn't have time. He tightened his grip on Erin's hand ever so slightly and said:

"If they deserve a good concert, Goldstein, they'll get one. Let's go, people." He made the international "come on" gesture, let go of Erin's hand, and headed for the stage.

"Feeling okay?" Duff asked Laurie as they headed out.

"I'm fine," said Laurie softly.

And really, unless you counted the way her heart cracked in two every time she saw Axl with Erin, she wasn't lying.

~~~

"Here I am/And you're a rocket queen/I might be a little young but honey I ain't naive/Here I am/And you're a rocket queen oh yeah--hey, take that! Get down there and take that!" Axl paused for a fraction of a second, then:

"I'll take it, goddammit!" And he tossed his microphone aside and leaped into the crowd.

Oh, fuck, thought Laurie, watching as he wrestled with an audience member. She looked at Slash, but he just shrugged, clearly as confused as she was. Izzy had a here-we-go-again look on his face; Erin was giggling shrilly.

"He overreacts to everything," she said, like it was a revelation to her. Laurie rolled her eyes.

"You don't know what set him off," she said.

"Probably someone wearing a 'Gay Pride' T-shirt!" said Erin, laughing harder than ever.

Laurie's eyes flashed fire. "He has every right to be a homophobe, Erin, so shut the fuck up, okay?"

Before Erin could reply, however, the fight ended. Duff and a roadie helped Axl back on stage, but he pushed them away and made a sweep with his arms, meaning cut the music. Everyone stopped playing at once; Axl snatched his microphone away from the roadie and, glaring out over the crowd, yelled:

"Well. Thanks to the lame-ass security, I'm going home." He threw the mic down, so hard it sounded like a roll of thunder. As he stormed offstage, Slash announced to the rest of the band, "He broke the mic. We're outta here." As he walked away, he looked over his shoulder at the crowd and flipped them off.

Laurie and Erin looked at each other, then followed. They found the entire band--minus Axl--gathered backstage, looking tense and worried.

"Where's the psychotic despot?" Laurie asked. Izzy laughed and Laurie smiled at him appreciatively before Slash answered:

"I don't know, man. He just went off."

"What was it?" asked Erin, who was still giggling uncontrollably.

"I saw a camera," said Duff. "I think he got pissed off 'cause someone was taking his picture."

Erin rolled her eyes, but before she could voice her opinion on this, Axl Rose himself entered, looking like a man ready to open fire on many people at once.

"Hey," he said, looking around. "Let's go back on."

But they hadn't taken more than three steps towards the stage entrance before Slash said, "Whoa, dude, we can't go up there."

"Why not?"

"Listen."

They listened. A moment later, Laurie heard it too: thundering footsteps; loud, angry shouting. She and Axl looked at each other for only about two seconds, but the same thought flitted through both their minds at once: riot.

"Fine," muttered Axl, turning and storming off in the direction of the exit. "I didn't want to perform for those fuckers anyway."

Laurie and Slash exchanged glances. Then the rest of them followed Axl out.