Categories > Celebrities > Guns n' Roses > Faithfully I'm Still Yours

This Ain't Goodbye

by LauraiSlaxl 0 reviews

Laurie and Axl talk.

Category: Guns n' Roses - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Angst,Drama,Romance - Published: 2011-04-02 - Updated: 2011-04-03 - 1583 words - Complete

A few hours after the argument, Axl, who had been lying listlessly on his bed, staring up at the ceiling and wondering when the hell his life had gotten so screwed over, heard a knock at the door.

"Yeah?" he called, without moving.

"Axl, it's Slash and Duff. Let us in. We wanna talk to you, man."

With a sigh, the lead vocalist got up and opened the door. Slash and Duff walked in and sat down on the edge of Axl's bed.

"So," said Slash, "you found out, huh?"

"I can't believe you knew," muttered Axl, looking out the window.

"Don't take this too personally, man," said Slash, "but she didn't want you to know."


"Well, she didn't even tell Izzy, if that makes you feel any better. I mean...I was the first one to know, and Duff only guessed at it, and the only reason Izzy knows is because he overheard us talking, and--"

"Y'know what really fucking pisses me off about this?" Axl interrupted. "I usually can read all her emotions, no problem, but apparently not this time. She completely hid this from me--"

"You're not God, you know," said Duff softly. "You can't know everything."

Axl leaned back against the wall of the room and pressed his palm against his forehead. "I wish I could," he whispered.

Slash and Duff looked at each other. "She's devastated, bro," said Slash. "She doesn't want to leave the tour, she doesn't want to be with Izzy--"

"She should have fucking thought of that before she went off and got pregnant!"

"--and she doesn't want to leave you, man. She loves you; you know that."

"I thought I knew that."

Slash sighed. "You're taking this too hard--"

"I'm taking this too hard?" yelled Axl. "Well, Mr. Hudson, how do you think I should take it? My best friend went off and had sex with my ex and got her pregnant in a month, and there I was, fuckin' Erin Everly and not knowing what was going on just a floor below me! You think I'm not gonna be mad? I have every right--"

"--to listen to her side of the story," interrupted Duff. "I remember when you and her made up at the beginning of this month; you told us that you weren't going to break it off with her for no reason anymore; you would talk to her from now on and try to listen to everything she said. You've got so much drama between yourselves; it's taking a toll on Laurie."

"Well, maybe it's a good thing I'm making her leave, then," muttered Axl, but it was obvious that he didn't really mean what he said.

"But you promised her that you'd stay with her," said Slash, kind of quietly, not wanting to touch too hard on the hair trigger that was Axl Rose's temper. "And you've always relied on her more than anyone else. Remember when you had that nightmare in May and you were with Erin but you called for Laurie because you knew that she could handle it? Remember how devastated you were when she left you back in '87? That's how she is now. She wants things to be right between you two. She doesn't want for you to be mad at her. Not anymore."

"Let her come and tell me that," said Axl, viciously.

Again, Slash and Duff exchanged glances. "She's scared of you, man. She doesn't want to come in here."

Axl laughed sarcastically. "Who're we talking about here, Erin or Laurie? I have never laid a hand on her in my life and she knows it. Tell her to come in here if she really wants to talk to me."

"I will," sighed Slash. "But Laurie just wanted me to tell you...she's not too sure if you'll listen to her."

"Depends on how she comes at the subject," said Axl with a shrug, though inside he was having a turmoil. He hated admitting it, to himself or anyone else, but he did still love Laurie Stevens, with his whole heart and soul. He wanted her and needed her; he couldn't imagine life without her. He hadn't meant it when he'd said he wanted to buy her a plane ticket back to Los Angeles any more than he'd meant that bullshit about seeing her in a shack with Izzy and their child in a few years.

She's always listened to me. It's the least I can do for her, he thought, and told Slash and Duff to go get his (ex?) girlfriend.


Laurie was sitting in the hotel room she and Slash were temporarily sharing, staring at her duffel bags and wondering how much time she'd have to pack in the morning, because she sure as hell didn't feel like packing now. She rubbed her stomach and whispered, "You're the cause of all this, you little fuck; if I keep you, I'm going to be sure and make your life hell."

Then she collapsed back against the mattress, sobbing again; feeling like a terrible person for saying that to her unborn child. She had told Slash and Duff exactly what to say to Axl, only about fifteen minutes ago, but she was nervous as to what they'd come back with. Oh, who am I kidding? she thought to herself, turning her tear stained face to the door. Axl doesn't listen to anyone. If he wanted to make up with me, he would have done it on his own terms. He's sending me back to America, and then we'll never speak again. Oh, God, why did I do this?

Just then, the sound of the lock clicking reached her ears. She lifted her head and saw Slash and Duff come back in.

"Hey," she said, trying to smile at them. "What'd he say?"

"He wants to see you in your room," said Slash, clearing his throat. Surprised, Laurie got to her feet and started out. As she was about to close the door behind her, the guitarist added:

"Be careful, Laur; he's like a loaded cannon, and I don't know how angry he really is at you and Izzy."

"Aren't I always careful?" murmured Laurie, but as she shut the door and started for the elevator she felt a nervous flutter in her chest. She went up to Axl's room and knocked on his door. A moment later, he opened it and let her in, eyes tired, face drawn.

"Laurie," he started, his voice hoarse, but she interrupted him in a fast burst, accompanied by a flood of tears that neither of them had been expecting:

"I'm so sorry, Axl, I never meant to get pregnant by Izzy! At first, it was sort of like a fling with him; I never meant for it to go this far. The day that he and I first got together, I was angry at you and I wanted to get back at you for being with Erin instead of me. Then he started to take good care of me, he would be nice and say sweet things and he never once made me feel like I was intruding on his personal life. I couldn't bring myself to talk to you; I knew you'd be mad and anyway, you were with Erin all the time, and you seemed to be pretty happy with her--"

"Damn, Laur," said Axl softly, his own eyes glistening, reaching out to touch her chin, "you know I was never happy with Erin."

"I didn't want you to be mad at Izzy and I," whispered Laurie. "I know he was your best friend, and he wasn't feeling too great about it either...and the truth is, Axl, that I never really loved him. The whole time he and I were together, I kept thinking about you, kept thinking of how different you two are and how I could never really love him because--because he's not you."

"I never suspected anything," said Axl. "That's most of the reason why I was so pissed off when you and Izzy first told me; I hadn't been able to tell just by looking at you. You're like an open book, Laur; I can read you, you know. I always know what's going on with you because we're so close...but not this time." He slid his hand down to cover hers. "I'm upset that you're pregnant with his kid, and yeah, I'm pretty angry that you never bothered telling me...but I hate myself for saying what I did earlier, babe, 'cause I didn't mean a word of it."

A slice of hope slid into Laurie's heart and caused it to beat slightly faster than usual. Her eyes searched his face; like he'd said, she could read him, and right now she saw nothing but remorse and the hope that she'd forgive him.

"Being with you for this past month has made me happier than I've been in three years," said Axl. "I want you to know that--no matter what you might be thinking right now--I still love you, and even if you want to leave the tour, that's too bad, because there is no way in hell that I'm letting you get away from me again." And he leaned over and kissed her, hard, and she kissed him back, moving her body against his, tasting him; not having to wonder if they'd stay together forever, because she knew that there was no doubt that they would.
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