FicWad

About two hours later Tyler and Elaine stood up and started saying their goodbyes. I hated to see them leave, as I still was unsure whether or not the night held a comfortable sleep in a bunk or a terror filled night in my ‘room.’ Tyler gently pulled me aside from the others.

“I just want to make sure you’re okay. You seemed pretty shaken up earlier when Gerard freaked out,” he said once we were out of earshot.

“I’m good Ty. It was just a whole lot of nothing,” I responded, trying to sound surer of myself than I really was. I didn’t want him to worry about me. I hated the look in his eyes when he was worried about me. I reached up and brushed his mohawk into place and whispered, “I love you too Ty-Ty. Don’t worry about me.”

“Its hard not to,” he said as he hugged me close. “I’ll see you soon. Maybe later this week.”

“Okay,” I responded, not wanting to let go. The fact that he gave a shit about my well-being meant a lot to me. A few tears escaped as he and Elaine stepped out the door.

“Anna? Could you come here?” Gerard called through the bus.

I walked as fast as I could to the living room. Gerard was still sprawled in the same position he had been all night. Lying on his back on the couch with a cigarette in one hand and a coffee within reach.

“Anna. Come closer,” Gerard said. I stepped closer. He motioned for me to come closer. I stopped next to the couch. He smiled. “I’m not gonna bite you. Seriously. Sit,” he patted the small space on the couch next to his hip. I shivered.

He sat up a little so that he was closer to me. He reached out and grabbed my arm.

But he was gentle. This was confusing for me. There had been times in the past where he actually cared, but this was new to me. I was expecting the worst night of my life after what had happened earlier. The emotional ride all day left me drained. I started to cry softly.

“What’s wrong doll?” he asked, pulling me closer.

“Honestly?” I asked, my eyes wide.

“Yes. I want to know why you’re shaking like the last leaf on a fall tree,” he responded, the look in his eye letting me know he was sincere.

“I’m scared. After what I said today I thought I would be in for the most discipline you could dish out. Instead you bought me clothes, gave me chocolate milk and are worrying about my wounds. You let me sit with you guys, you said I get to sleep in my bunk in pajamas and that I get to call my parents. Frankly I’m a little freaked out. You’ve never DONE this before,” I responded, trying to come off as grateful as well as concerned.

“I guess I can understand why you’d be freaked out,” he said, hanging his head. “I am sincerely sorry for what I put you through today. I’m not fucking playing with you right now. I treated you like shit and I kind of even scared myself. Frank talked to me. He told me how I came across. After what I put you through last night, I had no right to expect you to deal with that again today. Can I please see your arms now?”

I took off the hoodie I was wearing over my tank top and held out my bandaged arms. The wrappings were stained red and were starting to peel off. Gerard slowly and carefully peeled the bandaging off and inspected the wounds. He cringed.

“Goddamnit. I didn’t mean to do this,” he said, frustrated with himself.

“You didn’t do all of those Gee,” a voice came from behind me. I spun around. It was Mikey. He looked sad.

“What the fuck do you mean?” Gerard asked.

“I mean, you left the knife in there. I loved the way she screamed when you cut her, so I tried it too. Those deeper ones are mine. I’m sorry,” he responded, taking a step backwards.

“Why would you do that to me?” I asked, shocked. Maybe that’s why Mikey was being so caring all day.

“I’m sorry!” he whined. It looked like he was going to cry.

“I can forgive you, but that just doesn’t seem like something you’d do Mikey,” I reached out to hug him. He cringed back, like he was afraid of me, of what he’d done.

“Mikey come here,” Gerard whispered. Mikey stepped around me and my feet and stopped in front of Gerard. Gerard’s hand went up to Mikey’s face. He brushed his brother’s cheek and then slapped him across it. Mikey gasped. “You don’t fuckin touch her. I’ve told you that before. No one hurts her beyond repair. I thought I’D done this. You fuckin child. You made me think I had almost killed her.”

“She wasn’t gonna die Gerard!” Mikey screamed.

“Had she not ripped up her shirt and covered those things, yes she would have,” came another voice from behind Mikey. “I was the only one who’d help her. None of you cared enough that we could have had a seriously injured or, worse, DEAD girl on our hands.”

“I cared, Frank. I didn’t cut her that deep. I KNOW better than that,” Gerard whimpered at the short man.

Mikey snorted, “You didn’t seem too concerned with that last night.”

“I don’t care who did what,” I interrupted. This was sickening. They were talking about ME. Like I wasn’t even in the room. “I can forgive you guys and we can move on from that. Thank you Frank for fixing me up this morning. I think the cuts will heal just fine because of you. Now I need to clean and rewrap these or they’re gonna get infected.”

All three guys stared at me like I’d all of a sudden sprouted three heads. Frank stood and motioned for me to come with him. I got up and followed him to the small bathroom by the bunks.

“You don’t have to forgive them.”

“Yes, I do,” I responded as I sat on the toilet seat lid. I held out my arms and tried not to freak out when he cleaned the cuts with alcohol wipes.

“But they deliberately hurt you!” he exclaimed.

“But they both apologized too. If it was you that had done that I would forgive you too Frankie,” I responded wincing at the sting on my arms. He was trying to hurry while still doing a good job. I appreciated that more than he knew.

After a few minutes of silence he motioned for me to lift my shirt so he could have access to those wounds. When I lifted it he whistled. I looked down. A couple of the gashes were oozing and all of them were a dark, angry red all the way around them.

“These aren’t gonna feel good for awhile darling,” he said, swiping an alcohol wipe across them.

I screamed.

I heard feet running back to where we were. Gerard, Mikey and Ray’s faces peered around the corner.

“What the fuck?” Ray asked, his hair stuck to his face. I wondered when he had gotten back from the night out with his wife.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!” I yelled at them. It was all that would come out at the moment.

“These cuts on her stomach are pretty bad, guys. They’re oozing and irritated,” Frank said. I wondered where he had gotten his wound care skills from.

“Are they gonna heal?” Mikey timidly asked.

“They should heal fine, we just gotta watch them to make sure they don’t get infected,” he said. “You ready?” He swiped them with the alcohol again.

I blacked out.