FicWad

- The fight is done, the war is won -

May 29th, 2007

Jared blinked a couple of times before his eyes adjusted to the brightness and he could see everything clearly again. His neck was sore and stiff from being passed out in an awkward position. "You've been out for almost a day now." a familiar voice said. Jared sighed and looked at the room he was in.
The floor and the walls were snow-white. There was a table next to him with used shots and a roll of bandage resting on it. He was most certainly in the nurse's office again.
Jared heard steps coming closer to him and then he could see Tricia's, the nurse's, face. She was looking down upon Jared with a smile on her lips.

"Rise and shine!" she said cheerfully. On the inside she wasn't so happy though. Tricia was worried that Jared's health was only spiralling downwards. His physical health, that is. The nurse had no idea why the patient sometimes passed out. Her guess was that the cause of the problem was that Jared didn't get enough nutrition into his system, which made him faint.
Tricia noticed how Jared looked even skinnier and weaker than he had did before. You're playing with death, she thought.

Jared groaned and started to slowly get himself into a sitting position on the office's uncomfortable bunk. His arm shot up to his neck and he grimaced every time he moved his head.
He also seemed to have little, to none, control of his body. He had to put a real effort into doing such an easy thing as just sitting up. It felt like his body was made out of rubber.
"Aspirin?" Tricia asked kindly and her usually so dull eyes sparkled.
Jared nodded softly and hissed with pain as that simple sway hurt. The nurse walked to her sink and poured some tap-water into a glass and selected a couple of pills for her quiet patient. "Here you are." she murmured as she walked back to the bunk and placed the glass of water in Jared's right hand and the pills in his left.

Today Tricia was wearing a bright red lipstick and no eye makeup. Her black hair was clipped back from her face and she looked fresh. "That's aspirin, and then some dietary supplements. Take them while I call for Valentino to come and get you." Tricia cooed and grabbed the office's telephone and went outside to make her call.
Jared placed all of the pills on his tongue, poured water into his mouth and threw his head back as he swallowed the whole thing.

When the nurse was out of the room, Jared started thinking. He thought about Madison and how close he felt to her. The singer wondered if it was time to let his guard down and tell the young psychiatrist about his flashbacks.
Then if Jared told Madison about his secret, would she appreciate it or think he was insane? Maybe she would see him like a delusional lunatic whose brain wasn't working properly.
It ended with a battle in Jared's head. All of the parts inside his head told him different things. He was torn. Was he going to tell her, or not?

Tricia came back into the room after hanging up on Valentino and stopped as she saw Jared. His face was serious and his body language told her he was troubled. Jared's body was in the room but his mind was somewhere else. Jared snapped back and looked at the lean nurse. His face immediately became less tense as all of the thoughts of Madison disappeared.
Tricia felt more comfortable as her underfed patient looked completely expressionless again. It was quite strange for her to think about Jared as a vulnerable and sensitive individual. She still would have paid a lot to get a clue about what had been on the singer's mind as she had entered the room.

The tiny woman walked towards the middle of the white office and sat down on the bunk right next to Jared. "Valentino will come any minute. Until then..." Tricia said tentatively and tried to lock eyes with Jared. The patient on the other hand was putting a great effort into avoiding her grey eyes. Not like he didn't like Tricia, it was just that he wanted her to keep a distance. A safe distance.

The nurse carefully placed her hand on Jared's thigh. He shuddered and jerked like an electric shock had gone through his body. Tricia removed her hand in shame and felt her cheeks getting red. She knew that she had crossed the line and she regretted it. Still she didn't know how to explain away the happening.
So the nurse decided to just pretend like nothing had happened. That suited Jared perfectly who also wanted to forget the feeling of her hand on his leg as soon as possible.
"I have to remind you of how important it is for you to eat properly." she continued with a voice which had no traces of shame in it.

"For a vegetarian like you it's especially important to eat proteins. Look for cottage cheese and be sure to drink milk often. Eat generous amounts of vegetables too..." she babbled with ardour. Jared stopped listening after just a couple of her words. He knew everything about balanced diets, he just simply didn't care anymore.
Tricia's advice about food did him no good. It was more like a waste of his time. Not like he had anything else to do, her words were still boring enough to make him want to stuff cotton into his ears.

Suddenly Valentino stumbled clumsily into the room with a big grin on his face. Tricia inhaled sharply and shot up to her feet. She didn't want anyone see her sitting so close to Jared. Valentino didn't seem to notice it though as he was so happy to see Jared.
"So you decided to wake up now, princess?" he asked mockingly. Jared got into a better mood just by looking at the bald and utterly enormous guard.
The singer gave the twice as big man a genuine smile. "Are you two done in here?" Valentino asked Tricia who had backed away from the bunk quietly.
She nodded and smiled faintly. "Yes, we are done."

Valentino led Jared through the familiar corridors. "I have two good news for you." he said happily. Jared concentrated and listened for what Valentino would say. The singer felt how it was hard for him to keep up with the guard's pace as they walked through the long corridors.
"The first one is that it's dinner already. So you aren't going to see Micha today! The second one is..." Valentino started and smiled jadishly. Jared started smiling as he had an idea about what the second thing was.

Valentino saw the singer's smile and felt proud to achieve that kind of reaction from the usually so cold man. "... that a very special guest will visit you tonight." he continued to recieve an even greater smile from Jared. The world started looking brighter for the underfed patient. He was already looking forward towards the evening, with both fear and excitement.
He wondered if he had the courage of telling the psychiatrist about what was going on.
"But she will only come if you eat properly today." Valentino said and poked Jared's arm as a joke. It was only a light touch but enough to make Jared fall.

Valentino's finger made Jared loose his balance and he fell to the side. His head hit the wall with a bang and the skinny male fell onto the floor with his limbs splayed out in various directions. At first everything was black. Then he started seeing something far away. Pillows, covers and golden hair. The smell of lavender reached his nostrils.

February 10th, 2007. The day before Yolanda's death

Jared held Yolanda in his arms as they laid in their bed. She had just showered and her long blond hair smelt like her expensive purple shampoo with little lavender flowers on the bottle.
The pretty female's eyes were closed and she was breathing regularly. "Do you love me?" she hummed without opening her eyes.
Jared buried his head into her slightly wet hair and took in the scent which was so familiar. "Until death do us part." he whispered into her ear. Yolanda seemed to be satisfied with that answer. She sighed and relaxed in Jared's arms.

Jared tightened the grip around his girlfriend and exhaled loudly. "I love you so much." he murmured before dozing off into a deep sleep.
One thing he didn't hear was the screeching birds outside their window. They were trying to warn him about the future.

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Jared returned to reality with a gasp. He was still lying on the floor. "Man! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to make you fall!" Valentino twaddled. The guard was frightened that the singer would be seriously hurt but he really didn't need to worry. Jared just looked as like he had just woken up from a nice dream.
The singer had only been out for a couple of minutes.
"Are you alright? Do you want to have something to eat?" Valentino asked softly. Jared nodded swiftly. He could definitely need something to fill his stomach with. The guard helped Jared to stand up and they continued walking towards the canteen slowly. I can barely move my feet, Jared thought and exhaled shakily. He was running with a drained energy tank.
Only the thought of seeing Madison that evening was keeping him going. Otherwise, his legs would have never obeyed him.

Valentino followed Jared into the canteen and helped him to get a tray to stack his food on. The singer put a scoop of glistening vegetables on a plate and added some mashed potatoes to the side. Then he was done. It was hard for him to even look at the repelling sludge that they were serving.
He walked towards an empty table with his tray. Valentino followed the unstable singer and stood next to him at the table. The cocky men sitting at the 'Bad ass' table in the other side of the canteen were all laughing at Jared and mocking him.
"Has the guilt ate your body?"
"You don't look so famous now, you pathetic skeleton!"
The words were raining over Jared. The singer just ignored them and ate his food, though. Valentino felt how he started boiling with anger. Jared hadn't done anything to deserve them yelling at him. The guard dug his fingers into his legs to stop himself from doing anything that could get him into trouble.
When Jared was done, he gave Valentino a nod and the kind guard helped him to remove the tray. The duo then continued their small journey towards Jared's cell.

As they got there, Jared stumbled into the room, laid down on the bed, and closed his eyes.
He didn't notice when Valentino after a couple of hours let Madison into the room. It was because he had already fallen into the final flashback.


A/N: The story is coming to an end. One more chapter to go!
I can't believe that I've been writing this story for almost a year...

THANK YOU for all the support.