FicWad

- Whatever you do, don't be afraid of the dark
Cover your eyes, the devil's inside
One night of the hunter, one day I will get revenge
One night to remember, one day it'll all just end -

May 29th, 2007

"I don't know if it's a good idea to visit him tonight." Valentino said. Madison frowned and her body language told the guard that she didn't like what he was saying at all. Meeting Jared had been the only thing she had looked forward to that day and now someone said she couldn't even go inside to see him.
The female leaned against the door of the cell and exhaled a puff of air. She wished that she would magically turn into a ghost and get the ability to slide through walls.
"Why?" Madison asked and pouted like a small child who wasn't going to get an enchanting strawberry flavored lollipop.

"He has been extremely unstable these past days. He just suddenly passes out and is really weak." the kind guard explained to a grimacing Madison. She had put on a tight black long-sleeved dress in a luxurious material to look as good as she felt on the inside. Her lips were painted with a pink lipstick and topped with a peachy gloss. Madison had framed her eyes with a thin line of black eyeliner too. Everything, to the tiniest little detail, was thoroughly conceived. She had imagined wearing the exact same makeup and outfit while seeing Jared for days.
Valentino thought she looked great, like always, but in his opinion Madison was the most beautiful when she wasn't trying. When everything looked simple and effortless.
"He would have wanted me in there. And you know it." Madison said coolly and glared at the guard. She was determined to get into the cell even if it meant that she had to nag Valentino into going crazy first.

"I don't know, Madison..." Valentino said slowly and placed his huge hands on top of his bald head. Madison sighed and shook her head. "Please? I don't want to feel like I came all the way out here for nothing." she pleaded and tried to make her eyes look both sad and irresistible at the same thing. An underestimated form of art.
Valentino hesitated but he soon fell for Madison's trick. Would he be putting the patient in any kind of danger by letting Madison inside the cell? The guard figured that Jared, hopefully, would be okay even after her little visit. "Fine. You can go inside." Valentino started and took a few heavy steps towards the door. He fumbled with the keys before finding the right one to open the cell. "Just promise to tell me if something happens." he continued and looked worried.
If something happened to Jared, or Madison, it would be his fault. The guard watched Madison nodding towards him once before practically skipping into the room. He closed the door carefully and scratched his forehead.
He couldn't quite figure out why the young psychiatrist was so eager on seeing Jared as the singer wasn't even talking. An extremely odd mystery, he thought.

Not a single sound escaped the room and the corridor was silent. The first thing was a bit worrying since the walls were thin. The guard paced the space back and forth. Valentino had a portrait of his teenage daughter tattooed on his arm which he was stroking warily. His big fingers followed the lines of her face and he breathed noiselessly. She was the apple of his eye and the only reason he was working at Martha's mental institution. If he wouldn't be working he also wouldn't have enough money to pay for the expenses which comes with having a child. School, food and clothes.
His daughter's name was Madison. That was why Valentino had a soft spot for Madison, the psychiatrist, because she and his daughter had the same name. They were also both stubborn and goal-oriented.
The bald guard looked towards the closed door of the cell. What was really going on in there? Did he want to know?
Valentino closed his eyes and smiled. After a while he figured that nothing exciting would happen and he walked away to call his daughter.

Madison hurried to get to Jared's bed where the singer was lying. She thought he was sleeping when he really was having flashbacks. Madison sat down with her bare knees scraping the floor. She decided that she would wake him up after a while. Not right away though, as she found his sleep so innocent and peaceful.
The female watched how his chest was moving as he breathed slowly. The sun had said good bye to the world and the cell was obscure and dim.
She thought she could see a hint of a smile on Jared's lips. Madison placed her hand on Jared's arm and smiled too. She wondered what he was dreaming about. If he had the same dreams she usually had. Dreams of a happy future.
Little did she know that he was reliving his past. That fatal day in the beginning of February.

Soon the expression of happiness on Jared's face changed. His mouth hung slightly open and his breathing sped up and became irregular. The singer frowned and groans and moans escaped his lips. The bed creaked with every movement.
Then his breathing rhythm got out of control and he started waving his arms and legs. Madison didn't know what to do. She felt panic flooding through her veins and she dug her fingers into the arm which she had her hand on. "Jared?" the frightened female asked without getting an answer.
Suddenly Jared sat up in the bed with a haunting scream. The scream was from the heart and Madison's blood froze to ice. The sound pierced through her heart and placed her in a slight state of shock.
His eyes were now open. Bloodshot and terrified.

February 11th, 2007.

Jared got out of the shower with a towel sloppily tied to his hips. He was humming on a happy song and dancing his way to the sink. That was before Yolanda came into the bathroom.
She then appeared and stood in the doorway with her arms crossed. Jared pretended like her bad attitude didn't affect his mood in a bad way and kept on humming.
He sprayed himself with a heavy perfume and started putting shaving cream on his face as he needed a shave. "What are you getting ready for?" the girlfriend asked grumpily. Jared smiled and put the blade of the razor against the skin on his cheek. "I'm going to a restaurant with Shannon tonight." he answered and took the first stroke with the razor. The cream and his facial hair vanished from his face.
"Without me?" she asked again. Her bad mood filled the air with a lingering bad feeling. Jared tried to politely keep the smile on his face. "Yes. I asked you if you wanted to come with us yesterday. You said no." the singer answered and let the razor dance away the hair from his visage. Yolanda opened her mouth and closed it again quickly. "I can't remember you ever asking me about that." she muttered.
"Well, I did." Jared said shortly to put an end to that discussion.

Water collided with Jared's newly shaved face as he splashed hot water onto it. All of the shaving cream went down the drain with a bibulous sound. Suddenly the singer felt a pair of arms wrapping around his waist. And a pressure on his wet back. A mouth breathing into his ear.
"I'm sorry for being so moody." Yolanda whispered. Her hands caressed every inch of the skin on Jared's stomach. He shivered and the small hairs on his back rose. "It's okay." Jared mumbled. When being treated with such an electric touch he couldn't do anything but forgive her. Yolanda sighed happily and smelt her boyfriend's neck.
"As much as I love having your arms wrapped around me, I have to get ready. Shannon will be here any minute now." Jared said a couple of seconds later and disturbed the peace. Yolanda reluctantly let go of the singer.
Jared gave her a thankful nod and rushed past her towards their bedroom, where the wardrobe was, to pick up something fresh to wear.
He decided to go with a pair of absurdly tight black jeans, a black cotton t-shirt with a realistic skull print, a pink belt and a pair of colorful designer sneakers. The reflection in his full body mirror was smiling towards him. Looking good, he thought.

As Jared walked towards the front door, with pep in his steps, he was stopped by Yolanda. Her slender fingers wrapped around Jared's wrist. "You need to stay here tonight." she whispered sternly. Her eyes were big as saucers and her lips were quivering.
Jared grunted. "We've already talked about this."

He shook his arm as he tried to make Yolanda let go. She dug her nails into his arm and he hissed with pain. "You need to listen to me!" she snarled.
Jared stared at her in disbelief. What was she doing? Had she gone mad? She had never hurt him physically before. It all seemed quite surreal.
"What's wrong with you?" the singer spat. Yolanda looked like someone had shot her. She released her grip and backed away slowly. Her eyes got glossy and she had a hard time holding the tears back.
"We need to talk." she whispered and bit her lip. Jared grimaced and inhaled sharply. A honk from outside of the house interrupted the couple's conversation. Jared knew that it was Shannon who had arrived so that they could drive to the restaurant together.
"Don't. Please, don't." Yolanda begged. Jared couldn't remember ever seeing Yolanda that upset over nothing. He shook his head slowly. "We'll talk about this later." he said and then walked towards the front door.
Shannon had already walked up to the door and met Jared. The older brother saw Yolanda standing in the room and gave her a small nod and a smile.

He was dressed in a loose-fitting shirt and a pair of black pants. Shannon, as well as Jared, had shaved and a cloud of men's perfume circled around him. "Ready?" Shannon asked with his dark and vibrating voice. Jared glared at Yolanda. "Yeah, let's get out of here."
The brothers walked to the car in silence.

Shannon exhaled loudly and laughed as soon as they closed the doors to the car. Jared looked at him like he was a psycho. "What are you laughing at?" he asked. Shannon wrinkled his forehead. "Just thought I needed to ease the tension in the air."
Jared nodded and leaned his head against the window. He couldn't think of anything else but Yolanda's outburst and pleading eyes. The singer figured that something must have been wrong.
Shannon started the car and started the drive to the restaurant. He soon put the radio on as his brother's silence was making him crazy. The singer tapped his fingers on the steering wheel in beat with the music on the radio.

"Yolanda looked..." Shannon started after the song had ended and commercial was rolling. "Crazy and evil. I already know what you think about her." Jared said before Shannon had had the chance of finishing his sentence. Shannon looked dumbfounded at Jared. "The word I was looking for was sad. You don't seem like you want to be here at all." the drummer said quietly.
Jared swallowed and closed his eyes. The car's window was cool against his flaming forehead. "I'm sorry. We're going to have fun tonight." Jared apologized and turned his head towards his brother to give him a strained smile.
That was all Shannon needed to let go of his worries. "We are going to have a blast, bro." he said and then squealed with delight as the commercial ended and the radio started playing one of his favorite songs.
The rest of their car ride went well.

At the restaurant, a beautiful locale with delicious food, the brothers decided that since they had to drive home, only one of them could drink. Jared, being the youngest brother, lost against Shannon and had to put up with being the sober one that evening.
The drummer ordered one glass after another with beer. Soon he got a bit refreshed. Funnier, cooler and braver than before the drinks. He shamelessly started flirting with everything female in the building. Jared only laughed at his brother, leaned back, and had a good time.
A couple of minutes after midnight Jared decided that Shannon had had enough. He got up and dragged his drunk brother away from a waitress who was clearly bothered with the hoydenish drummer.
"Bro, no! You ruined my flow." Shannon splattered. Jared helped Shannon to get outside and into the car. "You will thank me tomorrow." he said slowly to the older brother.
Shannon frowned when Jared forced him into putting his seat belt on. "Party pooper."

As soon as the engine roared and woke up Shannon seemed to calm down. His head was bobbing as the car went up and down small hills.
Jared already knew that he couldn't leave his brother alone in his drunken state. He simply decided that he would let his brother sleep on his couch. Soon the car rolled up Jared's driveway.
The singer was feeling a bit nauseated by the fact that he had to have a talk with Yolanda. He hoped that she would be sleeping and that she would have forgotten about what had happened earlier.
Shannon looked at the house and his brain puzzled the pieces together. "This isn't my house." he stated. Jared smiled. "You are going to sleep on my couch today. If you don't mind."
Shannon shrugged and got out of the car. The brothers got into the house and took their shoes off.

Jared pointed towards the couch in the living room. "There it is. Will you be okay?" he asked. Shannon nodded and stumbled towards his bed of the night. With a sigh he jumped on the couch and got himself comfortable.
"Well, good night then." Jared said and started to walk towards his and Yolanda's bedroom. Shannon waved briefly, not wanting to talk.

The thing Jared saw when he opened the door made him freeze. On the bed sat Yolanda with the blade of a huge knife resting on her wrist. She seemed surprised to see Jared in the door opening.
The singer realized how serious the situation was and jumped towards Yolanda and grabbed the knife. "What are you doing?" he said breathlessly. Yolanda didn't move a muscle and didn't say a word.
Jared's breathing got ragged and strained. He grabbed his girlfriend's shoulders and shook her. "What are you doing?" he repeated so high that he was practically screaming.

Her mouth opened and words came out of it. Words that Jared couldn't understand. "I can't go on living like this." she said.
Jared let go of her shoulders and shook his head slowly. "Have you hit your head? What are you talking about?" he asked and closed the door to the bedroom. He didn't want the drunk Shannon to blunder into the room. He would positively just make everything worse.
"I'm a sinner. My body has to be sacrificed for me to find peace." Yolanda said with a monotone voice. Jared's brain was working on full capacity to take in the words which left her mouth.
"Bullshit! Is this about me? Have I done something wrong?" he asked. She smiled briefly. A gesture which scared Jared. Yolanda looked way too put together for someone who was on the brink of taking her own life.
"Kind of." she answered coolly.

"Please tell me what I've done." Jared pleaded. He didn't want to believe that something he had done had made Yolanda so upset. The female with the honey blond hair bit her lip. "It's how you always cheat on me with other girls. I had to do something. Make it stop. Teach you a lesson." she chanted. Nothing but confusion was reflected on Jared's face.
"I've never cheated." the singer said quietly. He was speaking the truth. Ha hadn't touched another girl in a sexual way since he got together with Yolanda. She scoffed.
"Maybe not physically. But Jared, I've seen the way you look at those fucking fans you have. I've watched you after every single one of your shows when you flirted with those young women. Don't you understand? You've been cheating, mentally." she said with a creepy smile on her lips.

"That's something you've made up in your mind. It doesn't mean it's true." Jared said to defend himself. Yolanda closed her eyes and sighed.
"I need you to do something for me, Jared. The greatest favor of them all." the female said calmly. Jared cocked his head to the side. "What would that be?" he asked without really wanting to know the answer.
Yolanda gestured with her hands towards Jared. "Sweetie, take that knife..." her hands made a sharp movement and she balled them into fists. She was looking at the sharp knife in Jared's hands. "... and drive it through my heart." she made a stabbing motion in the air towards her chest.
Yolanda's face was expressionless.

Jared's jaw dropped. "Are you high?" he screamed. Nothing in the world could make him do such an awful thing. The only thing lighting their room up was the lamp on the bedside table. The beams of light made the blade of the knife shine in the dim room.
Yolanda's pearly white teeth stood out in the darkness as she spoke. "I don't want to live knowing what I've done."

"Then tell me. What the hell have you done?" Jared snapped agitatedly. He didn't want to play her game anymore. Yolanda turned her face away from the light to make sure she didn't have to look Jared in the eyes when she broke the news to him.
"The girls found dead during your tour this winter. It was..." she started but got stopped by a cry from Jared. He finally understood that his beloved girlfriend was the murderer. The singer's world suddenly stopped turning. When you think you know someone...
"...me." she said and inhaled deeply. Now it was out. The secret she had been dreading to tell Jared.

Jared couldn't talk. He just looked at the person sitting on the bed right in front of him and suddenly it felt like she was a stranger. Like he didn't know that person. A single tear ran down Jared's cheek as he said good bye to the six year long relationship they had. Nothing could have destroyed that man as quick as that knowledge did.
"Fuck you." Jared choked. Yolanda winced. It hurt for both of them.

"If you ever loved me, please end my suffering." she said calmly but she was now shaking. Jared growled. "What about my suffering then?" he asked weakly. Yolanda didn't have an answer. She hadn't thought about Jared as she only wanted to get out the easiest way herself.
"You mean that I should kill you because you're too much of a coward to face the consequences?" Jared snarled and tightened his grip around the handle of the knife. Yolanda got up from the bed and walked closer to Jared. So close that he could feel her breath on his face.
The female put her hand on top of his and looked at the knife. "Please. I won't ask for anything else." she begged for him to kill her. Their eyes met. It was the moment for Jared to make a decision. To please her or to walk away.

He slowly raised the hand with the knife towards the ceiling. Charging. Breathing. His heart was racing.
Yolanda's pupils were dilated and her lips were parted.
Time seemed to stop when Jared swung his hand down and the knife collided with Yolanda's chest. The sharp metal penetrated her skin and went through her ribs.

The pain made her scream from the top of her lungs before she fell into a bleeding heap on the floor. The air escaped Jared's lungs and he dropped to his knees. He quickly took out the knife and chucked it across the room.
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" he cried. She only smiled and took her last breath. Jared saw the life being drained out of her eyes. Then she was gone.

His life was over and he knew it. Jared put his shaking hands over the corpse's face and slowly closed her eyes. He then sat down with his arms tightly wrapped around his knees and stared at a spot on the wall. Feelings were overwhelming him.
He was numb.

Shannon had just fallen asleep when a loud scream woke him up. He jerked and fell out of the couch. The sound came from Jared's and Yolanda's bedroom. On wobbly legs he succeeded with walking all the way to the room. He banged the door with his fist a couple of times before he opened it.
The scenery meeting him was the worst possible scenario. Blood all over the floor. A body. And Jared sitting in the corner with a blank stare.
Shannon called the police. Then he threw up on the floor.

"Jared! Talk to me!" Madison hissed with a hushed voice as she was afraid Valentino would hear them if she was too loud. Jared was feeling panicked. The memory he had worked so hard on trying to forget was now released from the depths of his brain.
He felt sick and empty. Disgusted with himself for being a murderer. He covered his face with his hands. The same hands which had taken a life.
Madison reached for Jared slowly and placed her hand on his head. Jared jerked. "Don't touch me!" he spat.

Madison backed away. She didn't know how to react as she had no idea about what was going on. "You don't want to touch me." Jared then mumbled, mostly to himself.
Madison smiled briefly. "Don't be silly." she said coolly. Jared then removed his hands and revealed the constant stream of tears which were flooding through his eyes and down his cheeks. There was no stop to that salty river.
"Dear, tell me what's wrong. Was it a nightmare?" Madison asked anxiously. Jared shook his head violently. He felt drained of powers and feelings. Everything he had was the tears.
Jared felt bad for Madison who had started to care for him. That he had to let her down by telling the truth.
"Worse than a nightmare. I remember everything clearly now." Jared said and tried to ignore his aching body.

"Remember what?" Madison asked questioningly. Jared grimaced before he answered. "About Yolanda."

Madison swallowed hard. That wasn't what she had been expecting. "Oh..." she said as she was incapable of speaking words. The female's mouth felt dry like a desert.
"I killed her." Jared choked. He then couldn't hold anything back and started sobbing. The blubbers broke the silence in the room. Madison felt like someone had punched her in the gut. "Why, Jared? Why?" she asked and wanted to fall into tears herself. "She wanted me to do it. She didn't want to live a life with regrets." the singer managed to say between the sobs. Jared left out the part of Yolanda being a murderer too, to not put her in a bad light. A final tribute.

Madison shook her head. "What are we supposed to do now?" she asked after a while. Jared sniffed and tried to calm himself down. His thoughts hadn't wandered that far. What did he want to do? Where would he go?
"Get the police. I'm ready to tell the truth." he ordered after collecting his thoughts. Madison dropped her jaw to the floor. "They will get you locked up for life!" she hissed. "I can't let you do that!"
The young psychiatrist still had feelings she couldn't describe for Jared. All she knew was that she wanted to be around him. Guilty or innocent.

Jared put his hands on the sides of Madison's head and looked her in the eyes. Hazel meeting icy blue. "Madison... There is a time in everyone's life where they need to stand on their own two feet and deal with the consequences of their actions. This is the moment for me to do so." he whispered and felt how the last tears trickled down his chin.
Madison eyes radiated confusion and and incomprehension.
"Run away." she said.

"Where? I have nothing left out there. I'm a face that people will recognize on the streets. I'll be back here again in the blink of an eye." he said calmingly to a Madison who was getting more and more roused. She was in denial. Every single one of his words made sense but she desperately wanted to find a loophole.
"Don't do this, Jared." she begged. Jared placed his thumbs underneath her chin and took a long look at her face, to save it in his memory. The eyes, the nose, the small amount of freckles, the pale skin and the pink lips.
Jared leaned in and gave her lips a slight peck. Madison closed her eyes and winced. She had imagined how their first kiss would be many times but she didn't want it to be like that. Not as a sendoff.
Jared felt like the kiss had sealed everything. The circle was completed. He didn't need anything else. He hadn't been ready to let Madison go until he had gotten the chance to taste her lips.

"Now go." the singer said and let his hands fall onto his lap. Madison reluctantly walked out of the room. She opened the door and took a deep breath. In the doorway she turned around and looked at Jared one last time. 'Farewell my friend.' she mouthed soundlessly and exited the room. The skinny man waited right where he was for the police to come.
He was proud of himself.

Madison walked slowly through the corridors of Martha's as she was heading towards Garth's office.
She opened the door, crying like a baby, and said what Jared had told her to. "Garth, Jared Leto is willing to talk now. Call the police."

A/N: So this is it. The end. The final chapter.
Thank you all for reading this and giving me feedback. A special thanks to Lisa who read the final chapter in advance and gave me her opinions.

Writing this story has been so much fun and I'm emotionally attached to it. It is my baby.
But now the baby is all grown up and doesn't need its mother. So, what am I going to do now?
Only time will tell.