FicWad

Hey guys. I UPDATED! Like…really quickly! :D pretty proud of myself if you ask me. Cheers for the reviews :D I woke up to 3 and was like ‘yay!’ …and then fell back asleep after reading them :L so yeah, here is the next chapter. See y’all down below…

Later that day, I sat with Gerard in the cafeteria. It was louder than usual.
“You feelin’ okay?” Gerard asked, finishing of the first half of his sandwich. He was sitting opposite to me.
I rested my elbow on the table, holding he head up with me hand. I slowly shook my head, staring down at the table.
“What’s wrong?” he took a sip from his drink.
I shook my head. “Nofink.” everything.
He pushed his lunch box over to me. “D’you want half?”
I shook my head. “No fanks.” I said, leaning back and stretching my neck a bit. It was starting to pain. I rubbed my hand over the white band aid which I hoped was hidden under my hair.
“You sure? I never actually see you eat.” He said, then slurped on his drink.
My head shot up to look at him. What was he, my mother? It’s not like I don’t eat, maybe not in front of him, but I still do. I'm just never fucking hungry. “Maybe because I'm never actually hungry.” I snapped.
Gerard frowned, looking hurt.
Fuck. Stupid mood swings. Stupid me. Why am I such a fucktard!? I rubbed my face. “Sorry,” I apologized. “Didn’t mean to snap.”
Gerard shook his head, closing his lunch box. “No its fine, don’t mean to care too much.” He sighed and put the box back in his bag, not looking at me.
I facepalmed and rubbed my eye. “I'm sorry, Gerard. I’ve jus had a shit fucking day.” Life, actually.
Gerard shook his head. “No its fine. Sorry, I didn’t mean ta make you feel bad.” He smiled at me.
I didn’t bother smiling back; I just looked at him with pleading eyes. I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him so badly about what had happened. Why I was a cold and bitter bitch. That I had problems with addiction, almost certain that they would take the pain away, bit they never would, they were all slowly killing me. I wanted him to know what a shit life I was having. But at the same time, I couldn’t.
Two boys came over to our table. One had an afro which I so fucking badly wanted to touch and the other had light strawberry blonde hair with a lip piercing, he looked kind of intimidating. They were both around Gerard height, I think, hard to tell because Gerard was sitting down.
“Finally got out of our lunch time detentions.” The one with the afro said.
Gerard looked up at him. “Took a while.” He glanced back at me. “Oh. Yeah, this is-”
“Stacie?” the strawberry blonde guy interrupted, smirking at Gerard.
Gerard grumbled. “Yeah.” He said plainly.
The guy I now know as Bob shared a look with the afro guy, wiggled his eyebrows and they both burst out laughing. Gerard sat there with his hands covering his face, which was turning a light shade of red.
“Oh, yeah, I'm Ray.” He lazily lifted his hand and took a seat next to Gerard.
Bob took a seat beside me. “I'm Bob.” He put his hand out, waiting for me to shake it.
I lazily shook it. “Sup?” I mumbled.
Ray and Bob carried on their conversation about how their English teacher is a total prick.
Gerard moved his hands from his now no longer pink face. He looked at me as I rubbed my neck. “What’s wrong?” Gerard asked.
I shook my head. “I jus…” I scrunched my face up at the pain I was feeling in my neck. I needed my painkillers, but being me, a stupid and forgetful idiot, I forgot them at home.
“Stacie?” Gerard had worry on his face.
“I need to…go home.” I said between clenched teeth. My neck was sore, the bone felt stiff and the gash under the band aid stung.
I got up from my seat and walked out of the cafeteria, clenching my neck. I walked out of the school gates with no hesitation. I needed to get home. Thankfully no teacher stopped me or asked where I was going.
I walked in a rushed pace as I tried to get to my street. I turned around when I heard an all too familiar voice call my name.
I saw Gerard jogging towards me. “What’s wrong?” he asked, holding onto my arms, just under my shoulders for the second time that day.
My back stiffened and my breath hitched. Why did he have to hold me so tight? I hid my face with my fringe, looking down. “Nothing.” I mumbled, lying.
Gerard sighed, loosening his grip on me and moving his hands down to my wrists. I was about to pull away, but his hands trailed further down to grip my hands. I closed my hands with his and looked up at him. His eyes, those fucking gorgeous hazel eyes were looking into mine. I felt the corners of my mouth form a small smile, mimicking Gerard's. I thought he was moving closer to me. I looked away from him, letting one of his hands go and walking down the road, still holding one of Gerard's hands. I love how realistic my imagination is.
I walked to my front door, glancing at the gap in the curtains, checking if David was there. I didn’t see him in the living room, so I was pretty sure the house was unoccupied.
I unlocked the door and walked inside. I glanced in the living room and kitchen, breathing a sigh of relief when it was clear from David.
I slowly walked upstairs. Only when I got to the top of the stares I stopped. I tried to listen for any movement, but when no sound came to my ear, I knew that the house was empty. I walked into my room, noticing that I was still holding Gerard's hand. I dropped it. Why was I holding his hand anyway? Why was he holding mine?
I reached under my bed and pulled out a small box. I opened it and took out my painkillers, as well as a roll up.
I looked back up at Gerard as I swallowed two pills dry.
He raised an eyebrow at me. I just shrugged in response. I pulled out a lighter from my pocket and lit up the joint which was now placed between my lips.
I inhaled the smoke, lacking the effect of the drug.
Gerard frowned. “Put it out.” he commanded.
I gave him the ‘what the fuck’ look. “No.” I said plainly and inhaled some more.
He took a step closer to me and grabbed my wrist which had the joint held it. He looked at me in the eyes, silently telling me to drop it.
I sighed and dropped it from my hands, stamping it out on the carpet adding another burn to it.
As Gerard moved closer to me, attempting to pull me into a hug, I stepped back, my wrist still in his grip.
I looked down, yet could still feel Gerard's gaze on me. My arm tensed as I felt Gerard start to pull my sleeve up. He stopped however, noticing me being uncomfortable.
“Can I see?” he asked.
I shook my head, already knowing that he would still do as he pleased. I felt my eyes sting as tears began to form.
Gerard pulled up my sleeve and gasped when he said the deep purple and red and yellow lines, some thick, some thin. Some were almost heeling, some were recently done, and some were infected. He pulled off my wristband, which revealed skin that possessed crosshatches of red and yellow lines. My entire forearm was mangled and red from cutting myself so much.
He did the same with the other arm, which wasn’t as red as the other, simply because it hadn’t been cut by David and I wasn’t left handed.
He traced the cuts gently, his soft touch almost soothing. “Why?” he mumbled as his eyes dart from cut to cut, arm to arm. I didn’t respond. I was ashamed, ashamed of how little self-respect I had.
When he was finish examining them, he pulled my sleeves down and wrapped his arms around my small frame. I didn’t react, my arms were by my sides, but I rested my cheek on Gerard’s chest, letting my tears fall. He stroked my hair, kissing the top of my head.
I hesitantly wrapped my arms around Gerard's waist, holding him loosely. As he unwrapped his arms from around me, I dropped my arms from around his waist. He cupped my face in his hands and wiped away a few tears from my face.
He was moving his face closer to me. I thought he was going to kiss me, but that could just be me loosing whatever sanity I had left in me. I moved back from him, turning my head away.
Gerard moved closer to me and took my hands in his own. I avoided eye contact with him; I just stared at our hands.
“Stacie,” Gerard said, “Stacie, look at me.” he whispered.
I looked everywhere but him, until my eyes finally locked with his, his amazing hazel eyes. They were just beautiful.
His hand came to my face as he moved my fringe from my eyes. He smiled. “Why d’you hide your eyes?” he asked, just about whispering.
I dropped my gaze to the floor. “’Cause they’re ugly.” I mumbled.
I felt Gerard's finger underneath my chin, forcing me to face him. He shook his head. “No they’re not.” He said, getting quieter.
I shook my head in disagreement, but only slightly, I was almost lost in his eyes.
“Stacie, they’re beautiful.” He said, barely above a whisper now.
I looked at him in disbelief. Did he just say my eyes were beautiful? I stared at him in disbelief. I noticed his face drawing closer to mine, his lips forming a very slight pout. Now I realized how much I actually liked Gerard. How much I wanted him to hold me in his arms. How much I wanted him to like me back. As his lips came dangerous close to mine, I wanted to press mine against them, wanting to know what it was like to have his lips against mine. When out lips were practically touching, leaving only a small movement that would connect them, I turned my head away, stepping back slightly. I moved away due to the confusion and disbelief. Gerard's touch had fallen from my face and was now by his side.
I bit my lip. I wanted to feel his lips on mine. Why did I move away!? I mentally kicked myself, punched myself, scratched myself and cursed at myself.
I looked up at Gerard, whose head was low and his lips tight.
I waited for his eyes to meet mine, wanting to know how awkward this situation actually was. When they didn’t move from the ground, I sighed.
“D’you want some coffee?” I mumbled, still looking at him.
His eyes finally met mine, they weren’t at all happy. They were full of worry, pain and concern. He slightly nodded.
I brushed past him, walking out of my room. I turned around, seeing he was still standing in my room, occupying the same spot on the carpet. I walked towards him, not knowing if he was aware that I was still there. I took his hand in mine, waiting for him to turn around and look at me.
He turned his head and his eyes met mine once again. He slightly smiled as I pulled him out of my bedroom door.
He stood, leaning with his back against the counter as I made his and my coffee. I could feel his eyes burning holes into me. I made brief eye contact with him, slightly lifting up one corner of my mouth, forming a small smile on the side of my mouth which he couldn’t see.
I handed him his coffee once I’d made it, still not saying a word. He took it, still staring at me. I didn’t want to break the silence; I kind of liked it, just having Gerard in my presence, even if it was almost creepy with him just staring at me.
“Sorry.” Gerard mumbled, breaking the silence.
Oh the irony, I thought, the only thing that can be broken by saying sorry is silence. Still, I didn’t know what he was saying sorry for. “For what?” I asked, taking a sip from my coffee.
“For trying to kiss you.” He mumbled, hesitantly.
I looked at him, in his eyes, the gorgeous hazel colour looking back at me. I didn’t know how to respond. Why was he saying sorry? Why did he even try and kiss me? I looked at him confused. “Why…why did you…” I trailed off, not sure which question I wanted the answer to.
“Isn’t it obvious?” he asked, sighing. “Why else would I try and kiss you?” he took a blind sip from his coffee, but, as he was looking at me, the edge of the mug missed his mouth, causing some coffee to spill on his plain black t-shirt. He jerked back as he felt the coffee hit his shirt.
The cotton absorbed the coffee which fell, spreading it further. I sighed, thanking God that I had a distraction.
“It’s all over you.” I said, letting out a very small giggle.
He groaned.
“Comon.” I gestured him to follow me back upstairs, taking our coffees with us.
I walked into my room and opened one of my draws. I threw all of my t-shirts out behind me until a found a plain black one.
I turned around and handed it to Gerard. He looked at me confused.
I sighed. “It’s not as small as me, all by t-shirts are probably your size anyway.” I said, sticking my tongue out at him.
He rolled his eyes, trying not to laugh by covering it up with a smile.
I told him where the bathroom was for him to get changed; I didn’t want to see his bare chest in my room.
He came back, holding his wet shirt and wearing my one, which was, by the looks of it, a size to big for him.
“How the fuck is this big on me?” he asked, looking down at the shirt. “You’re fucking tiny.” He said, pointing at me.
“Shu’p.” I said, holding my two fingers up to him. “All my t-shirts are huge on me.” I said, picking all the t-shirts up from the floor and stuffing them back in the draw.
“Are they all yours? Or are some’a them hand-me-downs?” he asked.
I nodded, attempting to close the draws. “Most’a them.” I said, not being clear as to what my answer was.
“So, d’you have an older brother or something?” Gerard asked, taking another sip from his coffee.
I slammed the draw shut, finally being able to close it, partly because the question sent me off track. I hadn’t spoken to Gerard about my family yet, I've always had ways of avoiding the conversation.
I turned around to face Gerard, but something outside my window caught my eye.
It was a car parking across the street. But it wasn’t the neighbour’s car, it was David’s.
My eyes widened in fear. I wasn’t suppose to be home, that would be bad enough, but now I had Gerard with me!
I grabbed Gerard's hand, yanking him out the room. “We need to go.” I stated as I dragged him down the stares.
When we got to the bottom, I pulled Gerard in front of me and pushed him towards the kitchen. “Stacie, what's happened?” Gerard asked, slowing down.
I shoved him forward, “David’s back.” I stated, realizing he was completely oblivious to who David was.
“Wh-” Gerard was interrupted as I shoved him to the side, unlocking the back door.
I unlocked the door and opened it, practically throwing Gerard out.
I heard the key turn in the front door. I turned back to the front door, checking how long I had to get out. Not long at all.
I was halfway out the backdoor, when I heard the front door slam shut.
My breath hitched, Gerard looked at me in panic.
“Going somewhere?” David’s cold voice sent a chill down my spine, stiffening it.
I mouthed ‘go’ to Gerard, whose eyes were wide in panic and worry, as I turned around, shutting the door.
I slowly back up against the backdoor as David approached me. I could smell the alcohol and drugs from him as he got closer. Who the fuck drinks at this time of the day!? I thought the bastard was at work!
He grabbed my jaw, slamming me against the door. “Aww, you came home early jus’ for me.” his words made my entire body tense and stiffen.
I just stared at him in fear, knowing what I was in for.

Yeeaaahhh baby my attempt at a cliff hanger XD Yeah this chapter was a wee bit shit, and the next chapter will be set on the same day too, soweeeeee, but I promise that the chapter after the next will be a different day :D but next chapter might be rather graphic, and you need to be mature to read it…pretty stupid considering I'm nowhere ear mature XD so yanno, rate, review, do what you do best ;) xx