FicWad

Vince and Mick figured something was up when Nikki blew off rehearsal. Lately we as a band had been doing well. Everyone had been showing up on time and more or less sober. No one had been throwing temper tantrums or diva fits. They had all a good to save the drama for the music videos, and then Nikki called and said he wouldn’t be able to make it to the studio.
Vince was clueless as to what had been going on between Nikki and I. Mick knew that we had talked, but I never told him what the result of our conversation had been. So, while Vince ranted about how that was just like Nikki, Mick just sat there staring at me.
I pretended not to notice. Mick knew just as I did that if I let on that I knew that Mick was staring at me, probably knew why and definitely knew what the look he was giving me meant, then I would look guilty; even though, technically I hadn’t done anything wrong.
Vince finally stormed over to Mick. “Is that asshole going to show up at all?”
It took everything I had not to go over and bloody Vince’s face. He was always doing shit like this. I guess Mick is either really good at reading people or he just knows me really well because he shook his head. “No. You can leave if you want to.”
In dramatic diva style Vince pushed his hair out of his face, nodded like he was doing us a colossal favour and walked out of the room.
As soon as he left I rolled my eyes. Vince could be such a princess at times. I would be the first one to admit that he’d gotten a lot better but like anything that is a habit it takes forever to get rid of and every so often you find yourself slipping back into the same bad habit.
Mick smiled, “You told Nikki how you really felt, didn’t you?”
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. I’ve rarely seen Mick smile and when he has it’s been one of the most terrifying things I have ever seen. It just seems unnatural and almost demonic the way he smiles; it always sends shivers down my spine.
“And?”
I shrugged. “And I think that it may have ruined our friendship. I’m not going to say anything else about it.”
He nodded. He knew, that Nikki was probably sitting somewhere, being just as conflicted. I knew that Mick must’ve been thinking that because of the look on his face. Mick made it a habit not to let any of us know what he was thinking or feeling. I can’t say that I blamed him; it was like telling a bunch of kids that you didn’t feel well, it wasn’t like we would’ve cared.
Suddenly Nikki just walked into the room. I was surprised but Mick just smiled. I had the feeling that Mick had somehow been behind Nikki’s sudden appearance, I tried not to appear too happy; all I wanted was to hold him, even if it meant that that would be the last time that I would touch him.
Mick got up and limped out of the room. I stood up and walked over to where Nikki was standing. I had dreamt of this moment time and time again but if there was one thing that I learned it was that however pretty and well-played-out things seemed in my head, they never stayed that way.
For a few minutes we just stood there staring at one another. I guess we were both waiting for the other one to speak. After what seemed like an eternity he finally spoke.
“I don’t know what you expect me to say. As far as I was concerned I had always been straight; and then you kissed me.” He ran a hand through his tangled hair. “And I started noticing the little things that you do for me. I had always thought of you as my brother. Now, I don’t know. I guess you’re still that but now you’re something more.”
I was definitely confused. “Nikki, what the hell man?” Even I flinched back; that had come out a lot harsher then I’d intended. I figured that I should correct myself before he left again. “What I meant was that I’m a little confused. First you said that you didn’t feel the same as I did, then you kissed me. Now, I want to know; do you feel the same? Either you do and that just scares you and that’s why you’re unsure or you don’t and you’re not sure how to tell me. So pick one.”
I stood there waiting for his answer. I was mentally preparing myself for the rejection that I was sure was coming. A part of me was glad that all of this was finally going to be over. I was getting tired of the back and forth game we’d started to play.
He shifted his weight from one foot to the other; not at all like the badass rock star that we knew him to be. I knew by the look in his eyes that whatever it was that he was going to tell me, it was very difficult for him, at this point I just wished that he would just spit it out.
“I love you Tommy. It took me a long time to figure that out but I do. I love you. I’ve decided that it is time to man up, to admit that I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
This was clearly not what I had been expecting. I had told myself that no matter what he said I wouldn’t be a baby, I would be a man. That seemed to be completely thrown out the window when Nikki said that. I could feel the tears prick my eyes.
I had to be dreaming, either that or this was some sort of prank or cruel joke and I was going to kill whoever put the idea into Nikki’s head. It wasn’t right to play with people’s heads or hearts.
“Nikki, after all the shit that we’ve been through, after all the shit that was said, are you shitting me or are you telling me the truth?” I knew that my words had the potential to be harmful but I had to know. If we were going to have a serious relationship, it was important that we were on the same page.
Nikki was staring at me. He didn’t look mad, just confused. He took both of my hands into his. “T-Bone, if I didn’t love you, if there was even a splash of doubt in my mind, then I would not have said anything. I know that you tend to wear your heart on your sleeve and that has caused you a lot of pain in the past. This is no joke. I love you Tommy and I want to be with you forever.”
At that point he leaned over and kissed me. When I opened my mouth to say something, he took the opportunity to slip his tongue inside my mouth. I was in heaven; I mean if I would have died that day it would have not been a tragedy.
In my opinion we broke for air way too soon, but a man has to breathe when he has to breathe. When we broke for air, he closed his eyes, half-smiled and gave me this little laugh. That was when it dawned on me; he was just as scared and clueless as I was.
He was looking at me, and he smiled. It wasn’t the lopsided; I’m up to no good but yeah, you should trust me smile. This was a genuine smile. I hadn’t seen one of those on him in years; it was nice to see that despite all the shit that he had been through, he was still able to smile. I know that this seems like a corny line out of some ridiculously stupid romance comedy but if you’ve read ‘The Dirt’ or ‘The Heroin Diaries’ then you know exactly what I’m talking about.
I wrapped my arms around him. I could hardly believe how much our relationship had changed since the beginning of the month. I was in a mental debate with myself. I wasn’t sure if I asked him to come home with me, if he would, or if that would just scare him away. He must’ve seen the turmoil that I was in, because he smiled.
“Stop thinking so much; you’ll burn out the few remaining brain cells that you have left.”
I grinned. If it had been said by anyone else (except for Vince or Mick) I would have been insulted, but this was Nikki. I knew that he was joking. “Sorry dude, been doing that a lot lately. New habit I guess.”
Nikki smiled, well, it was more of a smirk. I knew that if I didn’t ask him now then I never would and all the progress that we made would’ve been for nothing. “Do you wanna come back to my place?” I held my breath. If he rejected me now I would know that everything I thought we had was a joke to him—I was a joke to him.
He put his over one of mine. “What in the hell took you so long to ask?”
I released the breath that I had been holding, I intertwined I my fingers with his and we turned to walk out of the room together. I could hardly believe that we were going to do this. I had been dreaming of this day for so long, that I didn’t want to do anything that would either ruin our friendship or destroy any chances that we could have at being in a serious relationship.
I was a jittery, nervous wreck all the way back to my place, despite the fact that I was now absolutely sure that this was what I wanted. I remembered the drive to work had seemed excruciatingly long and now the drive back home seemed way too short. Before I had to go over the scenario in my mind; we had already pulled up to my house.
I tried not to shake too noticeably; I didn’t want him to think that I was a complete loser. I had to try to unlock the door; by the third try I guess Nikki realized that if he left it up to me; we would both be old by the time I managed to get the door open, because he took the keys from me; smirking while shaking his head.
He got the door open on the first try. He obviously wasn’t even half as nervous as I was. He opened my door, stepped inside and waited for me to catch up. I swear he had walked in first on purpose; he gave me the opportunity to stare at his ass which I did.
Eventually I followed him in, locking the door behind me. He was standing in my living room looking at the pictures I have in my walls. To me pictures (like my tattoos) are very important to me; almost as if they tell a story or at least that’s the way I look at it. I walked up behind him; “What ‘cha looking at?”
“You’re pictures. You have a really good eye. I mean, sure the subject matter isn’t what I would pick but… they’re still quite good.”
I smiled. That meant a lot coming from Nikki. It wasn’t like Nikki to just throw compliments at you, so when he said something nice about you or something relating to you, you knew that it came from his heart. “Thanks.”
He leaned into me so briefly that I thought I had imagined it. Then he slipped his hand into mine, and squeezed slightly.
“So, now that I’m here, what do you want to do?” By this time he had turned around, and the look that he was giving me made my mouth go dry. It was his green eyes, coupled with a smile that told me, that all I had to do was tell him what I wanted and he would agree to it.
“Nikki, dude, you have no idea how many times I dreamt of all the things that we would do and all the things that I needed you to hear. Now that you’re here I can’t think of a single thing.”
Nikki leaned up and kissed me. “I could think of a few things but they would involve moving to another room.”
I swallowed audibly. I had a pretty decent idea as to what he could be referring to. I lead him to my bedroom, glad that I had had the notion earlier to clean it. Although, knowing Nikki as well as I do, I doubt he would have cared. We were kissing and walking back towards the bed, I was still terrified that this was either a really vivid dream or some cruel prank.
He pushed me on the bed, straddled my hips and continued to kiss me. He slowly kissed a path to my ear, down my neck and stopped at my chest. Ever since getting my nipples pierced they are extremely sensitive, at this point in time, Nikki decided to exploit that. As he circled my nipple with his tongue, he had to use his own weight to hold me down as he started to gently suck on my nipple. He worked his way down my chest, and took a few minutes to play with my belly button.
“I always thought you had the weirdest looking belly button on the face of the planet, but I also thought it was cute.”
I tried desperately to catch my breath. “Nikki, don’t you think we should discuss this?”
Nikki smiled at me as he started to unzip my pants. “I think that we’ve talked enough.”
Not that I was unhappy with what was going on, this wasn’t the way I imagined. I always pictured our first time together as something that would be tender and gentle. Yes, I am that much of a romantic. But this? My thoughts were interrupted, as I was suddenly deep throated. Then the only question left in my mind was where in the hell he’d learned to do that.
Nikki let go of my dick with a wet popping sound. I was panting and still hard as a rock. I looked at him; knowing full well that my expression was probably one of confusion. “Why did you stop?”
He smiled at me as he palmed my balls and was gently rolling them in his hand. I couldn’t suppress the moan that escaped my mouth. I could hear him chuckle.
“T, it’s not that I don’t admire how responsive and vocal you are, but when was the last time you got laid?”
I could feel my face heating up. I was trying so hard not to blush but I could tell that was exactly what I was doing. I looked down at Nikki and he was looking at me as if I had done something unbearably cute.
“All these years in the music business and you still blush.” Nikki mused, “That’s adorable.”
I grinned, it was dopey, ear-to-ear grin but I didn’t care. I knew that he wouldn’t care either. We’d known each other for long enough, that big grins were just another part of what made us; us.
His expression got serious. “Tommy, you can always walk away from anything. And it doesn’t matter how far we get, if it becomes too much or too intense all you have to say is stop and it’s done.”
I nodded. I took a deep breath. I had no idea how much this would hurt. I just knew that it would. Nikki smiled at me and then began to undress. I love watching him undress and I think that I always have, I love the way he undresses, and I love watching his tattoos get slowly revealed. He laughed at me once, when I said that undressing should be an art form.
Once he was naked, he pulled my pants off completely and sat in-between my legs. “Bend your knees.”
I was shaking from nerves and he kissed my inner thigh. “It’s okay Tommy, just relax.” I nodded and took a deep breath, as he bent my knees towards my chest. I didn’t know what he was doing and I was too afraid to ask. I gasped when something warm and wet started darting in and out of my asshole. I felt Nikki hum softly as I lifted my knees higher. I was just about to come when he stopped.
“Argg!” I yelled in frustration. “Why are you being such a bastard?”
“I want you worked up; not completely spent.” As he spoke he put two of his fingers in his mouth and sucked on them. Once they were wet enough, he put one hand on my stomach and slowly started pushing the first finger in.
I squeezed my eyes shut. The burn was unlike anything I had ever felt in my life. I inhaled slowly and then exhaled. He must have felt my stomach muscles tighten because he began to rub slow circles on my belly.
“Do you want to stop?”
I shook my head. He started to slowly push in the next finger. The burn intensified, it was almost to the point where I thought I couldn’t take it anymore. Then the pain dissipated, and the moan that came from me; I barely recognized it as my own.
Nikki withdrew his fingers. He handed me a condom. “Put it on me.”
I reached between my legs and rolled the condom onto his dick. As I felt the head press against my hole I tried to relax. As he pushed into me, I tried breathing out a steady beat. The burn was almost ten times worse then what his fingers had caused. I clenched my teeth and had to use all of my self-control not to fight him or pull away.
“It’s alright T-Bone.” Nikki soothed.
“Are you in?” I managed to grind out.
Nikki leaned forward, so his face was inches away from my own. “I’m in.”
“Don’t move yet.”
He nodded and kissed my forehead. “Just tell me when.”
I’d never felt full like this before. The burning had subsided but I had a sneaky suspicion it would return once he started to move. I took a deep breath and experimentally tightened my anal muscles around his dick; the action caused him to moan. “Okay, I think I’m ready.”
At first he started a slow pace. His lips found mine and he swept his tongue across my bottom lip. I opened my mouth and he deepened the kiss. As our tongues battled for dominance, his rhythm got faster.
He was pounding in and out of my body. It felt good but it bordered on pain. He would almost completely pull out and then slam back in, pressing down on a spot inside me that would drive me absolutely crazy. I wasn’t going to last for very much longer and I didn’t think that he was going to either.
I pulled my knees closer to my chest. As I looked at him, I thought he looked absolutely gorgeous. His hair had fallen into his face, he had stopped kissing me by this point, and his eyes were shut. I could feel him swell inside me, at the same time I could feel my balls tighten and draw close to my body, we came together. And it was the most beautiful thing ever.