Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Losing My Sight, Losing My Mind, Wish Somebody Would Tell Me I'm Fine


by HeartbreakhOtel 0 reviews

Lila's first day.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG - Genres: Drama - Characters: Bob Bryar - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2011-04-21 - Updated: 2011-04-21 - 2462 words

The alarm clock groaned early in the morning as Lila sighed and hid under the covers before the irritating screaming had finally made her get up. She sighed as she reached over and turned the alarm off, relieved when the room went back to its usual silence. She looked around the room for a moment and sighed once more of the simplicity of it all.

Lila Denise Russo was a simple person.

She liked simple things, she dressed simple, and she lived simple. However, deep down Lila knew she was only simple because of default. She was forced to live this way.

She dragged her feet along the cold floor and shivered once more when the cold air had hit her more harshly from the vents she was unable to fix.

It's not too bad, it is Spring after all. she thought to herself in a quiet moment while she stepped into the main hallway of the small house and into the kitchen. She searched through the cupboards and pretended there was much more options besides the one she was given. She felt a little bit of guilt sink in but she shook it away when she thought of yesterday. Mr. Bryar, or Bob coming into her head and his twin daughters. She half smiled and hoped her situation would change soon.

When she knew there was no other options for food, she settled on toast and some tea. When they both had been prepared, she set them down on two plates and two cups. She skillfully carried the tray of one plate and one cup back down the hall. She knocked on the door closest to hers before a soft groan was heard on the other end. She carefully opened the door and smiled at the feverish old mad lying in his bed with eyes of a man who had lived his life for too long.

“Morning Pop-Pop.” she said softly as she sat the tray on his bed while she helped him move up as the old man struggled. When he finally sat in a comfortable position, he gave her a grateful smile.

“Buongiorno piccolo Tesoro.” Good morning little treasure.

“How are you feeling?” she asked as she handed him his medication from the nearby table.

“Ho avuto più bella giorno.” I've had better days Bella. He sighed and with weathered pale and bony fingers, he picked up his tea and took a sip with unsteady hands.

“Well Ms. Maria is coming by today, you should be happy about that. I think she has a thing for you.” Lila teased as the old man let out a croaky laugh.

“Bella bugie, bugie.” Lies Bella, lies.

“I never lie.” she smiled defiantly as she handed him a napkin while he took it from her hand and put his hand on hers.

“Un motivo per cui sei pi?eciale per me Cara Mia.” A reason you are most special to me my love.

“Non si dovrebbe dire che la Pop-Pop.” You shouldn't say things like that Pop-Pop. Lila smiled sheepishly while her grandfather had smiled and waved his hands as to scoff.

“Oh, ma io dovrei Cara Mia. Forse ho nipoti, ma nessuno di essi pu?ragonare a te. Tu non mi hai deluso differenza della maggior parte di essi. Sei sempre stato diverso.” Oh, I but I should Cara Mia. I may have other grandchildren, but none of them can compare to you. You have not disappointed me unlike most of them. You were always different.

“questa è una brutta cosa ricordi?" that's a bad thing remember?

“essere diversi non è un crimine il mio amore. Ci sono troppe persone allo stesso modo in questo mondo.” Being different is not a crime my love. There are too many people alike in this world. The man spoke softly as he reached up to brush her cheek while Lila smiled and kissed the hand of the person she adored most.

“Ti amo Pop-Pop.” I love you Pop-Pop.

“Ti amo troppo, Cara Mia.” I love you too my love.

“Vorrei che le cose sarebbero andate diversamente Nonno, mi dispiace molto. Ma io prometto che vado a fare cose diverse.” I wish things would have worked out differently grandpa, I'm very sorry. But I promise I'm going to make things different. Lila whispered as her grandfather sighed and squeezed her hand.

“Non preoccuparti per me Lila, avete abbastanza preoccupato.” Do not worry about me Lila, you have worried enough. Lila smiled at him sheepishly once more.

“I can't help it.” she replied to him as she looked at the clock and jumped up.

“I'm going to be late!” she replied in a hurry. “Maria will be here soon, I'll be home around 8 okay? I'll let you know how everything goes. I love you Nonno!” she said kissing his cheek as he smiled.

“Be careful Cara Mia!”

“I always am!” she yelled down the hall before dashing into the bathroom to shower. She quickly washed herself before stepping out and wrapping a towel around her and shivering more intently as she ran back to her room. She slipped into her undergarments, a pair of faded dark jeans, and a plain gray v-neck. She slipped on her black wrap around coat and slid into her favorite pair of boots before drying her hair and letting air dry into natural waves. She applied a minimum amount of makeup to add color into her unusually pale face before grabbing her purse and walking out the door, one last goodbye to her grandfather before she was face to face with the not so pretty side of town. She ignored the dirty buildings, the occasional cry of a child, and the rummaging of homeless people. Lila had pretended she was somewhere else, a thing she taught herself.

Even though these were her stomping grounds, Lila could never bring herself to call it home…

She `excuse me and pardon me' her way through the crowds of people while getting to the subway that seemed never ending. When she managed to reach the train, ready to scream when the train had been closed down for repairs. She cursed herself as she looked around desperately. That train, that one train was her only way of getting to where Bob lived.

“This is not happening!” she whined and stomped her feet before running out of the station and back into the city where she forced herself to hightail it before she was further late. Her breath was ragged as she was not in the best shape in her life, especially when she relied on the subway to take her where she needed to go.

She bumped past a few people who yelled at her in response, she yelled back an apology while she kept running.

“I am so fired!” she yelled out loud. She couldn't be late on her first day! She suddenly wished she had worn sneakers instead of her boots that slipped on the concrete as she maneuvered her way through the city.

She was about ready to collapse when she reached Bob's house and stopped to catch her breath, resting on her knees, her long hair falling down her face like a curtain as she panted. She readjusted her purse and power walked the rest of the way until she stopped in front of his door before checking the time on her watch. She was at least 20 minutes late as she grumbled. She knocked at the door swiftly and nervously waited. She heard footsteps and the door opened revealing Bob and icy blue eyes as she gulped. It was not in her nature to be late.

“I'm really sorry that I'm late, the train that I usually take got canceled and I had to walk here and I-”

“Hey relax, it's okay.” he told her with a hand as Bob could see how flustered she was. She looked almost surprised as he didn't threaten her.

“I'm usually never late.” she assured him as he waved his hand at her.

“It's fine, really.” he nodded as he motioned her to come in while she nervously stepped inside and looked around the familiar place as she sighed with relief that she wouldn't get fired on her first day.

“Would you like water or coffee, you look like you just ran a marathon.” he half smiled at her as she blushed and smoothed out her hair and clothes and wiped her eyes incase her make up had smeared.

“Coffee is good.” she replied softly as he nodded and stepped into the kitchen. She could smell the brewing coffee and recognized it's American substance. She watched him pull up a cup out of the cupboard and fill it with the liquid before handing it to her.

“You can add whatever you want to it.” he told her as she smiled politely.

“Thank you, but I like it just black.” she told him as he nodded and filled himself a cup as well.

“Where are the girls?” she asked curiously as she took a sip.

“They're sleeping still, they usually wake up around 8, but they sort of had a long night.” he shrugged.

“Did they party without you knowing?” she teased softly as he smiled and shook his head.

“No, I think one of them is getting sick. They have this crazy bond when one doesn't feel good the other will start acting fussy too.” he shrugged as she nodded.

“Twin telepathy?” she asked as he shrugged once more.

“I wouldn't doubt it.” he replied rubbing his bearded face as Lila took notice of tired his eyes looked, emotionally as well. She let it pass her as she continued to sip her coffee until the babies had woken up. Bob brought both of them down while Lila smiled at the bed head they both had, the brown hairs sticking up in each direction while they wiggled like little monkeys.

“They sure like to move.”

“You have no idea.” he sighed as he put them down in each of their chairs while they cooed and gurgled. She remembered what Bob said about telling them apart.

“I kind of have to get ready for work, would you mind helping me feed them?” he asked them as she nodded quickly and got up to meet the babies. Taking her coat off and setting it on the chair, Bob couldn't help but notice how skinny she was. It was almost unreal to her frame. He shook his head to rid the thoughts and filled two bottles with pre made formula, shaking them with his large first as he handed one to Lila. She nervously fed one to Gia who gratefully starting eating while Mia did the same. It felt awkward at first to have a baby sitting in her lap but Lila took it in stride and found it wasn't so bad.

“Okay, well I'm umm off.” he told her as he grabbed his backpack and keys while she simply nodded.

“If you need anything just call my cell.” he added.

“Sure.” she smiled politely.

“All right. Be good girls.” he said before kissing both of the twins' heads and walking out the door.

“Oh, and Lila?” he said as she turned around.


“Thank you.” he added softly as she smiled.

“No problem.” she replied as he gave a slight wave and left as she sighed and turned her attention back to the girls.

“All right, well be good girls. I'll see you later.” he said kissing them on both of their heads and shuffling out the door as Lila sighed and turned her attention back to the girls.

“Well girls, it's just us.”

For the first day things were relatively calm. Despite the event where Gia had spit up on Lila, a small apologetic coo from Gia told Lila they would be on good terms. The twins had remained mostly quiet, where as Lila had expected them to be a little more loud. Nevertheless, she was grateful for the quietness and she took the opportunity to get acquainted with the rest of the house while the twins were asleep. She looked around carefully at the hallway that was lined with photographs. Some were pictures taken from New York to Japan. Others were pictures of Bob with several other men. The ones with the woman in the picture had caught Lila's attention the most, as they did the previous day before. The woman with the long dark wavy hair and chocolate eyes stared into her as she smiled in the picture. She looked happy and free spirited.

Where was she? Lila couldn't help but think. Surely Bob would've mentioned her if she was not going to be around. But still, he had said nothing. And that nothing had made Lila even more curious about the mysterious woman in the picture. She kept trailing down the hall until she reached the twins room. It was pink and purple painted. Toys were neatly placed in a bin and small clothes were folded on the dresser. It almost seemed untouched. Lila looked around once more before walking out of the room and into the last door at the end of the hallway.

It was painted cranberry red that seemed inviting, a curious spark that had set off Lila once more. She chewed her lip as she looked around, her hand slowly encircling the door, ready to twist the knob.

“Don't go in there.” a voice startled her as she jumped and turned around to see Bob standing there with a blank stare on his face, but that stare was still frightening. He wasn't supposed to be home for another 30 minutes.

“I'm s-sorry.” she stammered as she straightened herself up and tried to think of an excuse. “Gia spit up on her blanket, I was just trying to find a new one.” she lied as Bob gave a nod.

“Oh, the blankets are in the closet. There's nothing of the twins inside that room. Just don't go in there…please.” he added to make his sentence more polite as Lila simply nodded nervously.

“Of course.” she replied.

“How did the day go with the girls?” he asked softly while she half shrugged.

“It went well. They mostly slept.” she covered up her blush while he nodded.

“Good. Well I'm just going to wash off real quick, if you wouldn't mind staying just a tad bit longer.”

“Sure.” she shaking her head as he nodded once more.

“Thank you. I'll just be in here.” he told her, pointing to his bedroom door as she watched him go inside before shutting it. She ignored his standoffish demeanor and walked back to the living room before turning back one last time.

The cranberry door staring right back at her.
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