Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Losing My Sight, Losing My Mind, Wish Somebody Would Tell Me I'm Fine
The days passed and the nights only grew colder. Even though the Spring weather had fully came into play, it could not warm up Bob no matter how hard he tried. He found no reason to. He thought back to two years ago when his days consisted of just working with bands, partying a little bit, and just taking life one day at a time. But when Lacey had came into his life, it had shifted the balance right under his feet. She was a shiny toy that had Bob curious like a child again. Just had to be touched and played with, so to speak.
Her optimism had always made Bob uneasy. He never quite understood how a person could be so happy all the time. After all, Lacey had lost her parents at young age, lived in and out of foster homes until she was 18 while supporting herself. Through her turmoil, she still felt a small fraction of happiness in her crumbled world; something Bob always envied her of. She had courage, he didn’t. And the more the days passed, the more Bob had missed her optimism more than ever.
The Spring rain fell once more, but almost a drizzle that was light and soft. The grass and trees had revived themselves with an evergreen, ready to start a new season with a fresh start. If only life had been that simple.
He ran a hand through his hair after shutting the door, greeting away another ‘potential’ person to help with the newfound raising of his children. He had interviewed 7 people, but none of them had satisfied his liking. Some were too old, too strict, or just too unruly. Lacey would never want those people to take care of her children that way, he thought. But he knew deep down he was kidding himself. That he picked out any little faults to avoid the realization that someone else would be there to take of his daughters; rather than their own mother.
The twins had been asleep for most of the day, something Bob couldn’t deny he was happy for. He was exhausted. Mentally and physically, he just wanted to hide in his shell where he could block out everything else.
He stared at the counter where the answer machine was that displayed more than 6 unread messages, totaling to two, but Bob had stopped after that. He couldn’t stand to hear messages of apologies and condolences, what good did they do anyway? It’s not like they ever really make someone feel better, it was just a stupid reminder. He pushed the erase button and watched the ‘6’ switch to a 1. The answer machine had continued to play the already read messages while he wiped up the spilled orange juice.
“Hey, it’s me. Just letting you know I have to stay a little late, but I’ll be home as soon as I can. Love you guys!” the voice echoed through the house as Bob tensed and turned his head to the message. Her voice had felt fresh. He couldn’t stop his finger from pushing the play button more than once as he took in Lacey’s voice, the last he would ever get to hear her. He resisted the urge to push it once more, knowing that if he didn’t stop now, he would never stop.
He forced himself away from the kitchen and back upstairs to ‘his’ room, appearing as if a hurricane had ripped its way through Illinois. Clothes scattered everywhere and curtain closed, it was the perfect setting as he crawled into bed, a new routine had developed. He hid under the covers as if he were a child again, shutting out the world and creating a new one to his liking. Accept, there was no world Bob could hide to, not even the world he was running from.
He shut his eyes and rid the thoughts of anything else while forcing himself to sleep. It was the only way he had managed to pass the time anymore…
____
When he came to, Bob rubbed his eyes while sitting in the bed and listening for any sound incase the twins had been crying for him. He slid out of bed slowly and walked to their room before checking over the crib to see them still sleeping. He sighed as he fixed the blanket over them, wondering if they had felt the way he had felt, that sleeping was the only way to forget everything for one single moment.
Bob had even been tempted to go back to sleep, but the sound of the doorbell ringing had made his stomach churn. He stood there for a good minute while he was tempted to ignore whoever was at his door, but the second time it rang, Bob had forced himself to walk to it. His hands uneasily reached for the doorknob and pulled it open. His eyes widened as he noticed the girl in front of him standing and staring at him. His heart had almost skipped a beat, but faded when she smiled at him. She had looked just like her.
“Hi.” she said softly with a wave. “Are you Bob?” she asked while he studied her. She was short, maybe 5’4, and very slender. Her black straight hair came down to her shoulders and flipped out at the end. She was tan looking with brown eyes. She looked too familiar.
“Yeah, can I help you?” he replied a little uneasily while he tried not to stare at her.
“Umm, my name is Liliana Russo, but I go by Lila. I’m here because of the nanny position. Is this a bad time? I can come back?” she replied with raised eyebrows as she stared at him. Bob wondered if he looked half as bad he felt that she was staring at him in such a way.
“No, it’s okay. Come in.” he replied as held the door open while she smiled at him and stepped in through the door. She looked around before turning back to him.
“I’m sorry for coming at such an odd time, but I was referred here by Laura?” she told him as Bob had to fight the urge to roll his eyes. He should’ve known his mother had put it upon herself to be in charge.
“Yeah, that’s my mom…you know her?” he asked as she tilted her hand back and forth.
“Well sort of. Your mom is a nurse, yes? I was a student as well at Rush University.” she informed him.
“I see.” he replied with a nod. “Well I can get you anything to drink before we ‘discuss’ everything. I have coffee, juice, water?” he asked as she smiled at him politely.
“Coffee please.” she replied as he nodded. He walked to the kitchen and prepared two cups of the black liquid. He walked back to the living room where he handed her a cup while she thanked him.
“So, what interests you in being a nanny?” he asked her as she took a sip before nursing it in her hands. She looked a little young, but he looked passed that.
“Well I’m experienced with children. I’m calm in situations and I love to help to others, hence why I was studying to be a nurse. I’m good with hours, and I’m the oldest of 2 brothers and 2 sisters.” she smiled.
“Four siblings, how does that work out?” he asked curiously as she sighed.
“Tiring.” she laughed. “But I love my siblings, so it even things out.” she replied as he half smiled at her. There was something about her he couldn’t put his finger on.
“Well I take it you have experience with babies? Cause that’s what I need. I have three month old twins, girls.” he asked as she smiled and nodded.
“Of course. Twins huh? That must be fun.” she replied as Bob did his best to hide the scoff forming in this throat. Not when you’re doing it by yourself.
“It’s definitely interesting.” he responded while taking another slip. “I’d need you to work Tuesdays through Saturdays from 10-7pm. I’m a sound tech, so I work with bands and such. I’ll pay you 300 a week, does that work for you?”
“Yes.” Lila replied.
“Good. Well I don’t really know to what to else ask.” he admitted as she smiled.
“Anything you need to know about me? Background, drug test?” she joked as he laughed slightly.
“Well you don’t strike as me as that kind of person, unless you are?” he raised an eyebrow as she shook her head.
“No, I promise you. I don’t go out very much.” Lila smiled once more. The sound of a baby crying both made their heads turn, followed by another cry as Bob sighed.
“Excuse me.”
“No problem.” she waved her hand at him as he stood up and walked upstairs to the twins’ room. He scooped up the both small crying babies that looked less than happy while he shushed them.
“You must be hungry, I know.” he told them as he cradled them close while they nestled into his chest as he brought them down. Lila looked around the house while holding the warm cup of coffee. She noticed several pictures on the wall of a girl who seemed to smile in most of the pictures. The of her holding two babies had caught her eye the most.
“Well I figured you might as well meet the girls.” Bob spoke, making her jump slightly as she faced him then the two wiggling babies in his arms. She smiled as she stood up to admire the matching brown hair, and creamy skin they possessed. Lila noticed the distinction between the twins and the girl in the picture. The only thing different was they had Bob’s blue eyes.
“They’re beautiful.” she told him as she touched their hands.
“Thanks. This is Mia on the right, and that’s Gia on the left. Now Mia has a beauty mark just above her lip there and Gia has the dimples when she smiles, incase you’re worried about getting them confused. Gia’s the calm one, and as you can see Mia’s the outgoing one.” he explained as Lila laughed as Mia wiggled and made noises at her.
“Cutie.” she said to her as she touched her cheek. Bob took the time to look at her again while admitting she was different than most of the women he had interviewed. She didn’t seem as crazy as the others.
“Well, I think I’m pretty much prepared to offer you the position if you’d like to take it.” he asked her as she widened her eyes at him.
“Really?” she asked him as Bob nodded.
“Yeah, I think you’d be a good fit.” he told her, when really he knew he didn’t have much options left. She smiled and nodded.
“Thank you, I’d love to take it. When do you need me to start?” she asked him.
“Can you start tomorrow?” he asked her as she nodded.
“Most definitely.” she replied.
“Good, well welcome aboard.” he laughed slightly as she giggled.
“Thank you so much, you won’t be disappointed.” she replied grabbing her bag and fixing the scarf around her neck. “See you tomorrow.” she waved at him then the girls before leaving as Bob sighed to himself, hoping he she was right.
“She seemed pretty nice, right?” he asked looking down at the twins as they gurgled.
It wasn’t much, but it was a start.
Her optimism had always made Bob uneasy. He never quite understood how a person could be so happy all the time. After all, Lacey had lost her parents at young age, lived in and out of foster homes until she was 18 while supporting herself. Through her turmoil, she still felt a small fraction of happiness in her crumbled world; something Bob always envied her of. She had courage, he didn’t. And the more the days passed, the more Bob had missed her optimism more than ever.
The Spring rain fell once more, but almost a drizzle that was light and soft. The grass and trees had revived themselves with an evergreen, ready to start a new season with a fresh start. If only life had been that simple.
He ran a hand through his hair after shutting the door, greeting away another ‘potential’ person to help with the newfound raising of his children. He had interviewed 7 people, but none of them had satisfied his liking. Some were too old, too strict, or just too unruly. Lacey would never want those people to take care of her children that way, he thought. But he knew deep down he was kidding himself. That he picked out any little faults to avoid the realization that someone else would be there to take of his daughters; rather than their own mother.
The twins had been asleep for most of the day, something Bob couldn’t deny he was happy for. He was exhausted. Mentally and physically, he just wanted to hide in his shell where he could block out everything else.
He stared at the counter where the answer machine was that displayed more than 6 unread messages, totaling to two, but Bob had stopped after that. He couldn’t stand to hear messages of apologies and condolences, what good did they do anyway? It’s not like they ever really make someone feel better, it was just a stupid reminder. He pushed the erase button and watched the ‘6’ switch to a 1. The answer machine had continued to play the already read messages while he wiped up the spilled orange juice.
“Hey, it’s me. Just letting you know I have to stay a little late, but I’ll be home as soon as I can. Love you guys!” the voice echoed through the house as Bob tensed and turned his head to the message. Her voice had felt fresh. He couldn’t stop his finger from pushing the play button more than once as he took in Lacey’s voice, the last he would ever get to hear her. He resisted the urge to push it once more, knowing that if he didn’t stop now, he would never stop.
He forced himself away from the kitchen and back upstairs to ‘his’ room, appearing as if a hurricane had ripped its way through Illinois. Clothes scattered everywhere and curtain closed, it was the perfect setting as he crawled into bed, a new routine had developed. He hid under the covers as if he were a child again, shutting out the world and creating a new one to his liking. Accept, there was no world Bob could hide to, not even the world he was running from.
He shut his eyes and rid the thoughts of anything else while forcing himself to sleep. It was the only way he had managed to pass the time anymore…
____
When he came to, Bob rubbed his eyes while sitting in the bed and listening for any sound incase the twins had been crying for him. He slid out of bed slowly and walked to their room before checking over the crib to see them still sleeping. He sighed as he fixed the blanket over them, wondering if they had felt the way he had felt, that sleeping was the only way to forget everything for one single moment.
Bob had even been tempted to go back to sleep, but the sound of the doorbell ringing had made his stomach churn. He stood there for a good minute while he was tempted to ignore whoever was at his door, but the second time it rang, Bob had forced himself to walk to it. His hands uneasily reached for the doorknob and pulled it open. His eyes widened as he noticed the girl in front of him standing and staring at him. His heart had almost skipped a beat, but faded when she smiled at him. She had looked just like her.
“Hi.” she said softly with a wave. “Are you Bob?” she asked while he studied her. She was short, maybe 5’4, and very slender. Her black straight hair came down to her shoulders and flipped out at the end. She was tan looking with brown eyes. She looked too familiar.
“Yeah, can I help you?” he replied a little uneasily while he tried not to stare at her.
“Umm, my name is Liliana Russo, but I go by Lila. I’m here because of the nanny position. Is this a bad time? I can come back?” she replied with raised eyebrows as she stared at him. Bob wondered if he looked half as bad he felt that she was staring at him in such a way.
“No, it’s okay. Come in.” he replied as held the door open while she smiled at him and stepped in through the door. She looked around before turning back to him.
“I’m sorry for coming at such an odd time, but I was referred here by Laura?” she told him as Bob had to fight the urge to roll his eyes. He should’ve known his mother had put it upon herself to be in charge.
“Yeah, that’s my mom…you know her?” he asked as she tilted her hand back and forth.
“Well sort of. Your mom is a nurse, yes? I was a student as well at Rush University.” she informed him.
“I see.” he replied with a nod. “Well I can get you anything to drink before we ‘discuss’ everything. I have coffee, juice, water?” he asked as she smiled at him politely.
“Coffee please.” she replied as he nodded. He walked to the kitchen and prepared two cups of the black liquid. He walked back to the living room where he handed her a cup while she thanked him.
“So, what interests you in being a nanny?” he asked her as she took a sip before nursing it in her hands. She looked a little young, but he looked passed that.
“Well I’m experienced with children. I’m calm in situations and I love to help to others, hence why I was studying to be a nurse. I’m good with hours, and I’m the oldest of 2 brothers and 2 sisters.” she smiled.
“Four siblings, how does that work out?” he asked curiously as she sighed.
“Tiring.” she laughed. “But I love my siblings, so it even things out.” she replied as he half smiled at her. There was something about her he couldn’t put his finger on.
“Well I take it you have experience with babies? Cause that’s what I need. I have three month old twins, girls.” he asked as she smiled and nodded.
“Of course. Twins huh? That must be fun.” she replied as Bob did his best to hide the scoff forming in this throat. Not when you’re doing it by yourself.
“It’s definitely interesting.” he responded while taking another slip. “I’d need you to work Tuesdays through Saturdays from 10-7pm. I’m a sound tech, so I work with bands and such. I’ll pay you 300 a week, does that work for you?”
“Yes.” Lila replied.
“Good. Well I don’t really know to what to else ask.” he admitted as she smiled.
“Anything you need to know about me? Background, drug test?” she joked as he laughed slightly.
“Well you don’t strike as me as that kind of person, unless you are?” he raised an eyebrow as she shook her head.
“No, I promise you. I don’t go out very much.” Lila smiled once more. The sound of a baby crying both made their heads turn, followed by another cry as Bob sighed.
“Excuse me.”
“No problem.” she waved her hand at him as he stood up and walked upstairs to the twins’ room. He scooped up the both small crying babies that looked less than happy while he shushed them.
“You must be hungry, I know.” he told them as he cradled them close while they nestled into his chest as he brought them down. Lila looked around the house while holding the warm cup of coffee. She noticed several pictures on the wall of a girl who seemed to smile in most of the pictures. The of her holding two babies had caught her eye the most.
“Well I figured you might as well meet the girls.” Bob spoke, making her jump slightly as she faced him then the two wiggling babies in his arms. She smiled as she stood up to admire the matching brown hair, and creamy skin they possessed. Lila noticed the distinction between the twins and the girl in the picture. The only thing different was they had Bob’s blue eyes.
“They’re beautiful.” she told him as she touched their hands.
“Thanks. This is Mia on the right, and that’s Gia on the left. Now Mia has a beauty mark just above her lip there and Gia has the dimples when she smiles, incase you’re worried about getting them confused. Gia’s the calm one, and as you can see Mia’s the outgoing one.” he explained as Lila laughed as Mia wiggled and made noises at her.
“Cutie.” she said to her as she touched her cheek. Bob took the time to look at her again while admitting she was different than most of the women he had interviewed. She didn’t seem as crazy as the others.
“Well, I think I’m pretty much prepared to offer you the position if you’d like to take it.” he asked her as she widened her eyes at him.
“Really?” she asked him as Bob nodded.
“Yeah, I think you’d be a good fit.” he told her, when really he knew he didn’t have much options left. She smiled and nodded.
“Thank you, I’d love to take it. When do you need me to start?” she asked him.
“Can you start tomorrow?” he asked her as she nodded.
“Most definitely.” she replied.
“Good, well welcome aboard.” he laughed slightly as she giggled.
“Thank you so much, you won’t be disappointed.” she replied grabbing her bag and fixing the scarf around her neck. “See you tomorrow.” she waved at him then the girls before leaving as Bob sighed to himself, hoping he she was right.
“She seemed pretty nice, right?” he asked looking down at the twins as they gurgled.
It wasn’t much, but it was a start.
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