FicWad

Chapter Four
Mikey’s Point of View
Okay, so all day I’d been watching Gee. Just to make sure he was alright; as a brother does.
And so far, he was acting fucking strange.
‘Hey.’ Ray said as he sidled up to me then sprawled on the sofa.
I looked up at him, lost from my train of thought while casually sat on the floor.
‘You okay?’ I asked him as Ray blew out a deep breath and started watching whatever was on TV.
‘Yeah,’ He replied happily, dragging his curls away from his face, and then staring at me interestedly. ‘You, however, seem to be kinda preoccupied. Huh?’
I smiled wryly. Ray, being himself, was insightful and thoughtful. He always knew when something could be wrong.
‘Uh...’ I couldn’t find the words. ‘I... Um. Whatever; it’s probably nothing...’ I trailed off, hoping Ray would become submerged in the TV, and forget this conversation. I tried to block everything out by watching it too (a crappy news programme), but secretly, my mind was on my brother.
‘No, it isn’t nothing.’ Ray looked me straight in the eye. I winced at his accuracy – he obviously suspected whatever I did.
‘Well...’ I hesitated.
‘It’s happening. I can tell.’ He replied to me casually.
I squirmed where I sat, pretending to be fiddling with my shoelaces. ‘Y’think?’ I mumbled.
‘Hell yes!’ Ray confirmed my thoughts. ‘Look at them! Avoiding each other, not talking about each other, thinking they’re acting normal. Even Gerard’s played sick for three days to stay away.’
I shook my head, annoyed. ‘Fuck. I guess I owe you then.’ I grumbled.
‘Ten dollars, remember?’ Ray grinned at me.
‘Yeah, yeah,’ I sighed. ‘My wallet’s in my jacket. I’ll get it later.’
Ray grinned even wider. ‘Y’know that means you owe Bob too, right?’
‘Aw man, what now?!’ I moaned.
‘We all made the bet, Mikey!’ Ray teased me. ‘Phone him later or something and tell him you owe him!’
I grinned, and then went back to my deep thinking mode again.
‘What’s up now?’ Ray regarded me warily, the TV burbling in the background.
‘I’m worried...’ I replied anxiously. ‘I mean, I know it’s just this weird thing they both have with each other... But this could be serious. I mean, he’s my brother. I don’t want him to get hurt.’
‘I don’t think he will,’ Ray replied concernedly. ‘Well. I damned well hope not, but I don’t think he will. Things have changed, y’know?’ he fiddled awkwardly with his hands while explaining. ‘I think they’re eventually going to have to talk to each other and sort stuff out. ‘Cause we’re all in families, all in relationships, all responsible for certain stuff; and that’s what’s different. All their other... Erm, feelings from tours and all that before are from more innocent times.’ Ray chuckled at the innocent phrase and I sat in thought, still.
‘Responsible,’ I muttered, wryly, ‘that’s a hell of a long word for Frank.’
Ray grinned, punching me gently on the shoulder. ‘They’ll be fine,’ he said easily, relaxing once again on the sofa, ‘it always happens. It always would. And it probably always will. Just don’t worry.’
I sighed, feeling a little better. Of course Gerard could handle this.

----

Gerard’s POV
I blinked, and realised I’d been staring at the wall for at least ten minutes, my pencil dangling uselessly in my hand over a blank sheet of paper. For once in my life, my mind felt empty.
Apart from one thing.
One fucking thing that I’d thought about so many goddamn times that it should be impossible to think it more.
Although it was the most beautiful thing to think of.
He was the most beautiful thing to think of.
I shook my head, groaning and feeling a frown crease over my forehead. I just couldn’t stop... Thinking!
FrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrank FrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrank FrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrankFrank
Yeah, like you do. If you’re me, then every single millisecond of each second of each minute, and so on. Because you do – it’s awful and amazing at the same time. And it also sounds really cheesy, but it’s true. All I can hear is his name, his voice; all I can see is everything standing out and just managing to telepathically beam to me... Frank.
‘Goddammit,’ I growled, gripping my pencil so tightly that my knuckles turned white. ‘Must – stop – thinking,’ I stuttered, concentrating so hard on my paper, although nothing remotely artistic seeped out of my mind.
Apart from Frank.
Frank. (shut up, shut up)
Where the hell was he? Was he going to speak to me today? Had it been... Nothing?
I shivered at the thought.
After all this, after all I’d been through, it couldn’t just be followed by nothing!
I felt a twinge of guilt twisting through my stomach as I remembered the family I’d left at home, my family that I missed. It was selfish, wanting Frank like this. I was damned lucky enough already – but I couldn’t help it.
There was suddenly a knock on my door, and before I could make any damned excuse to yell why someone shouldn’t be in my room, it opened.
‘Uh... Gee?’
I stared.
It was Frank.
“Whaddya want?” I growled, then stopped, surprised. I covered my hands over my mouth after my cruel outburst, shocked that I could sound so mean.
Frank looked at me warily, possibly a little angrily too. “Fine, I’ll go.” He said sullenly, starting to turn his back on me.
“No!!” I exclaimed, jumping up and freezing. I wondered whether to block the door or to grab his hand.
“Well, what are we gonna do then, Gee?” Frank said softly. He looked so lost; my heart ached so badly for him. His eyes fell softly on my face, as he turned back to me again and sat on the floor, leaning against the door.
“Frank?” I whispered, crawling over to him and sitting next to him. I wanted so badly to take him in my arms, to hold him forever – but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I realised I was almost scared. “I’m sorry.”
“It isn’t your fault.” Frank buried his head into his knees, his voice muffled. “I feel like it’s all mine. I feel... I feel exactly the same.” His voice twisted into a hoarse whisper.
Suddenly, I sat up. “Y’know,” I said, my voice a little brighter, “I’ve had an idea.”
“What?” Frank asked flatly, looking up a little. I could see hope in his eyes, but also disbelief. “I know you, Gee.”
“I know you do.” I said, feeling a little livelier, “but this idea might just work...”
“Gerard.” Frank said, trying to stop me, sitting up.
“We could just be together.”