FicWad

Chapter Three
Frank’s Point of View
My eyes opened gently, and then blinked a few times blearily. My ceiling slowly came into focus. I looked at the time, and it was 7:12 a.m, the sun still hadn’t risen, and it was uncommonly early for me.
I sighed contentedly and leaned back into my pillows once more.
Suddenly, I remembered the events of last night and my heart shook, beating out a fuzzy romance-filled beat. I shut my eyes and saw his name, heard his name.
Gerard.
My eyes widened even thinking his name, my tongue silently shaping each syllable of that perfect, perfect name.
Cautiously, carefully, quietly shifting around, I turned over, and tried to think about last night responsibly, my heart twisting madly.
I was confused about Gerard, though. Wasn’t I married? Wasn’t I a father? I scolded myself quietly. Had I no responsibility for my actions? I was a failure, I decided. How could I be trustable if I was making out with a band member at any other time? Plus, I had to explanation to do this again. Gerard and I had talked to each other about our previous onstage relationships and agreed it was nothing... Unless.
Well; unless I really loved Gerard.
My heart seemed to pause for a second, then carry on.

So, last night I’d found Gerard, singing his love blearily to me in the kitchen.
I opened one eye a fraction.
And, this morning I’d found Gerard, snoring gently next to me in my own bed.
His face was turned away from me although he was sprawled on his back. His bright hair swirled over the pillow in a scraggly, beautiful heap. My heart beat faster and faster.
Gerard’s hand was reaching up, near my face, hanging limply on his pillow and gently rising and falling as he was breathing. I drew my own hand up and laced my fingers into his. Straining forward, I planted a small, sweet kiss onto his warm middle knuckle.
His finger poked me back groggily.
‘Nnnnuuuuggghhhh...’ Gerard moaned sleepily, stretching and turning over to see me. ‘Frank??’ He exclaimed, a little louder as his gaze fell upon me.
‘Er... Morning, Gee.’ I stuttered my lovesick words slowly.
His eyes were wide with amazement.
‘I... I’m in... I’m in your bed, Frankie...’ Gerard replied, sheepishly.
‘D’you actually remember anything from last night?’ I whispered cheekily, ‘Seeing as you were high on coffee and all that.’
Gerard froze, and then nearly yelled with embarrassment.
‘Shhh!!!!’ I hissed, ‘The others are asleep. It’s, like, the crack of dawn.’
‘...Oh.’ Gerard blushed. ‘Yesterday... I mean, last night... I...’
I smiled gleefully.
‘Did anything... Happen?!’ He asked, half curious and half scared.
I smiled a wry smile. ‘No.’ I replied. ‘I think... I think we didn’t even kiss. I remember you just said... That, and I went to bed. You must have followed me.’
‘That?’ Gerard enquired.
‘You...’ I shivered. I didn’t want to say it. It sounded... too real.
‘Love.’ He replied simply.
‘Yeah.’ I whispered. ‘...Love...’ I reeled at the word.
‘I do.’ He confirmed, confidently.
There was a large, large silence. It stretched out like a vast sea, which I was finding hard to row over.
Gerard gazed into my eyes, not saying anything, not showing much. His eyebrows were frowning a tiny bit at the front, like he was concentrating. I was lost in his beautiful eyes.
Then he kissed me before I even realised it would happen. Leaning forward, my heart keeping a jagged background beat, I felt Gerard’s lips softly against mine, his hands grasping my hands, and his heart beating with mine. My head spun with love.
I kissed him back with all my heart, all my feeling. Here we were, two weird, warped lovers in a tour bus with our band, kissing through guilt and the ever rising sun.
‘Frank.’ Gerard whispered as we broke apart. ‘I do, I really love you. I can’t stop thinking about you, every day, every minute. I can’t stand my life without you, and it’s isn’t anything without you anyway. I haven’t be-‘
‘Gee!’ I hissed, ‘what about home?! You have a family! So do I!’
‘I know, I know...’ Gerard moaned into his pillow. ‘It doesn’t mean I can’t love you all...’ I cradled his head in my hands, moving up to him. ‘But I can’t live without you.’ Gerard whispered. ‘It’s been agony, Frank. Watching you, loving you; unable to touch you...’
I sucked in a deep breath and held it.
Gerard reached his tear-ridden face up to mine and kissed the tip of my chin.
‘Couldn’t you live without me, Frank?’ His voice broke on my name.
I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to feel. I wondered what would be the right answer, the wrong answer. I felt him, both of us, tangled up beneath the sheets, our hearts and limbs entwined. I knew my answer.
‘Gee, I couldn’t live without you. I’ve tried and tried –‘ My voice wobbled and my heart flew around my head. ‘But I can’t.’ The words stumbled out my mouth.
The sun broke through my thin curtain in a shaft, looking like a stairway to heaven as soon as Gerard and I kissed again.
I didn’t need a stairway though.
I was already in my own heaven, with Gerard.