FicWad

“Ha! I beat you!” Frankie said smugly as we got in the van and I dumped the bag on his lap.
“I forgot- no running without sports bras! God that hurt!” I whined, adjusting myself through my shirt.
“I can imagine, there big things to have slamming on your ribs repetitively.” Frankie giggled and I gave him a mock angry glare.
“Shut it Iero.” I mumbled as I pulled out of the parking lot, “Seat belt.” I told him and he buckled it up, winding down the window and sticking his head out slightly so the wind blew his fringe across his face. I made it to the pizza place and back home in half an hour, Frankie was surprised seen as the trip from the mall to my house should take half an hour itself, but as I explained to him- I inherit my driving from my Grandmother.
“Mikey, were home!” I called and walked through to the living room where Bob, Ray and my brother were sprawled and dropped the pizza on the floor in the middle of them. Their eyes were glued to the television as they played a driving game which Ray was thrashing them both at so I don’t think they even noticed us coming in.
“YES!” Ray screamed as he won the game, Mikey and Bob groaning. Ray’s eyes flickered to me as I leant against the door frame, Frankie leaning on me. “Dude, look at your brother.” Ray whispered and pulled Mikey’s top, all the attention in the room suddenly turned to me.
“Hey, what trouble have you boys been causing then?” I smirked and Mikey gasped.
“Wow, Gee, that’s hot.” Ray commented and I snorted, walking into the room, sitting down on the floor next to Ray and Frankie sat in-between me and Mikes.
“Seriously though. Wow. If I wasn’t straight and related to you, I’d ask you out.” Mikey said and Bob and Ray nodded in agreement, I was feeling more than a little uncomfortable by that point.
“Please stop staring, I don’t like it.” I whispered and the attention in the room soon turned to something else.
“Who wants pizza?” Frankie asked, changing the subject for me and lightening the atmosphere in the room. “We have meat lovers, Hawaiian and garlic and cheese. Ooh, and vegetarian delight of course.” Mikey grinned and took a slice of the vegetarian pizza.
“Mikey, is this the Frank guy you were on about?” Bob asked and Frankie nodded, mouth full of garlic and cheese pizza.
“Cool, I’m Ray and that’s Bob.” Ray informed him and Frank grinned.
“How much about me have you heard?” Frankie asked after he had swallowed.
“Uhm, you’re 18 and bisexual and live full time in the apartment that you and Mikey share at college. Mikey said you went bra shopping with Gee today but I think he was just joking.” Ray said, giggling and I blushed.
“Actually , yeah, I did go with him.” Frank said and Ray and Bob looked shocked. “What’s the big deal?” Frank asked seemingly bewildered as Ray and Bob corrected their expressions.
“Nothing it’s just, wow… Even Gee’s Mom refuses to go with him.” Ray mumbled softly.
“Yeah, well I wanted to. It wasn’t as bad as he made it out to be by far, I actually enjoyed it. Even if it did mean squeezing two grown men into a changing room to try and get them stupid fiddly push up bras on.” Frankie said with a straight face, taking another bite of pizza.
Mikey choked on his slice, “You went in together?! And push up bras?!” He gasped, seeming to not believe what he heard.
“What’s wrong Mikes?” Frankie asked, “If you don’t believe me, here’s the evidence.” Frank threw my messenger bag at him and Mikey opened it unsurely.
“Bloody hell.” Bob muttered seeing the garments in the bag.
“My girlfriend doesn’t even wear stuff like that.” Mikey commented and paused. “Wait… Gerard actually let you touch him? For more than a quick hug in full clothes?” Mikey asked curiously and I nodded
“Gerard you don’t even let me touch you! Or let me see you in less than at least jeans and a T-shirt.” Mikey protested.
“I’m sorry Mikes! I just, I don’t know… I feel…safe around Frankie… like I’m normal… and I’m not afraid.” I whispered, looking down and bringing my knees up to my chest.
“I’m sorry Gee, it’s just… I’m not sure. It took you weeks to even let Ray or Bob hug you or take off your hoodie. You never let me see you, or anyone else see you, it’s like you’re ashamed of what you are. I guess it’s just weird that you’ve got this instant trust thing with Frankie.” Mikey sighed and I nodded, understanding where he was coming from.
“It’s because I am ashamed.” I whispered and stood up, “Anyone want coffee?” I asked and everyone nodded as I left the room.
“I, uhm, I’ll help.” Frankie said as he stumbled out of the living room and followed me into the kitchen.
“You okay Gerard?” Frankie asked, sitting on the kitchen counter.
“I’m fine it’s just…. I wish Mikey could understand that I don’t know why I trust you but I just do. I mean, he knows I don’t like meeting new people and trusting people is really hard for me. I’ve had depression since I was twelve years old! Twelve! I can’t trust anybody, and I’ve never told Mikey why because me and Mom decided it would be better off this way….” I trailed off quietly, now I’d have to tell him.
“Gerard, why can’t you trust people?” He asked quietly.
I sighed, “Because our Dad was an alcoholic and when he found out I was a hermaphrodite he started beating me and when I was fourteen and he somehow found out I was gay, the beatings got worse and eventually Mom found out, she came home early one day and found him beating me. He left us and never came back, Mom filed the papers for the divorce and I made her swear not to tell Mikey. It would break his heart if he knew that his only father, the one man he could look up to, battered his brother. It would kill him, I’m sure it would. It’s not like he needs to know, it doesn’t matter. I always used to hide myself in my room, I was fifteen when I met Ray and Bob and it took me years to trust them. I let Mikey sleep with me when he has bad dreams like when we were little, but he’s the only person other than you I fully trust. I guess I just don’t like him seeing me with hardly anything on because he’s my brother and I don’t want him to be ashamed or disappointed in me. But with you, I just don’t know, you make me feel normal and like nothing matters. I suppose it’s annoying to Mikey that I’ve only known you for less than twenty four hours and I’ve already let you sleep in my bed, see me in my underwear even though I felt uncomfortable and I let you touch my bare skin. Which I usually hate, even if it’s Mikey.” I sighed and finished up making the coffee.
“That’s really awful, Gerard, no one should have to go through that.” He said and hugged me from behind.
“It’s okay Frankie, it’s in the past now. Come on, let’s go give the guys their coffee.” I turned around and handed Frankie Ray and Bob’s cups. “Bob’s on the left, Ray’s on the right.” I told him and he nodded. I gathered the other three cups and took them into the room, handed Mikey and Frankie theirs and downed mine in one.
“I didn’t believe Mikey when he said you breathe coffee.” Frankie gawped and I giggled.
“I’m a coffee addict and proud!” I laughed along with the guys and stood up. “Do you mind if I borrow Mikey a minute?” I asked.
“Nah, do with him what you will but bring him back alive and in one piece.” Ray smirked and I gave my famous ‘scary grin’ which according to Mikey, makes me look like a paedophile. How does he know what they look like anyway?
I walked into my room, followed by Mikey and shut the door behind us.
“What’s up Gee?” Mikey asked as I sat on my bed, signalling for him to do the same.
“What were you and Frankie talking about this morning when I was in the shower?” I asked and Mikey eyed me suspiciously.
“Why?”
“Because today when I took Frankie into Soho’s he was gawping at how many jeans they have in there so I said ‘come on then, if you need a new pair of jeans’ and he figured out I’d heard your conversation but I didn’t hear all of it and he said good because if I had it would have been awkward. Why would it have been awkward, Mikes?” I asked, feeling nervous; was Frankie really just taking pity on me?
“How much did you hear, Gee?” Mikey said carefully.
“Up until where Frankie said he wanted me to realise how beautiful I am and for me to show it.” I whispered- I hated calling myself beautiful, it felt such a big headed thing to do, even if I was quoting someone else’s words.
“Gee, please don’t freak but, ah God. I promised him I wouldn’t tell you. Frankie really likes you.” Mikey told me and I shrugged.
“So? I really like him to, what’s the big deal?” I asked and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. “Oh Hell!” I shouted, “What?!” I practically yelled.
“Gee, in-fact, liking you doesn’t even touch on it, Frankie’s really in love with you. When he first saw you he was staring because for him, time stopped, it was just you and him and as cheesy as this sounds, for him it was love at first sight.” Mikey said quietly and I stopped panicking.
“I really like him too Mikes. Like, I think I love him, but I’m not sure. What do you think?” I asked.
“When you’re around him, how do you feel?” He asked me and I decided honesty was the best way to go here. I sighed.
“He makes me feel normal, he makes me feel safe. It’s like nothing can hurt me and I really feel loved. It’s like the love I feel for you and the guys but a hell of a lot stronger.” I explained and he hugged me.
“I think you are in love with him, Gee. Do you get sweaty palms and feel nervous?” He asked.
“No, all that goes away. That’s what I feel normally, it feels good not to feel nervous.” I told him and he pulled away.
“Aww, I think you should tell him.” He told me and I shook my head.
“No, not yet. Anyway, what do you want to do tonight?” I asked and he grinned wide.
“Ray’s having a party at his house, want to come along?” He asked. I bit my lip, I wasn’t sure.
“Okay, I think.” I said and then thought ‘to hell with it’ “Hell yeah!” I exclaimed and I jumped off the bed. “What time does it start?” I asked.
“Starts at seven and doesn’t end till the last person leaves.” He gave me a cheeky grin- I hadn’t seen that one in a long time! “You sure you coming, bro?” Mikey asked and I nodded.
“We better leave then, if Ray wants a party, people will be arriving already, it’s ten to seven now!” I told him.
“What? How?” He asked, bewildered.
“Hmm, let’s see. We all woke up late because Mom always leaves for Grandma’s at three and when me and Frank went out, you’d already left to see your girlfriend and Mom had already gone. It’s half an hour to the store and half an hour back. Me and Frank did shopping and brought pizza and were talking to Christina and Sarah for a bit.” I told him, hand on one hip.
“Okay, I know Christina, but who’s Sarah?” He asked and I rolled my eyes.
“The girl in the bra shop, she’s been serving me since I first had to go.” I muttered and Mikey hugged me and ran up the stairs without another word. I checked my eyeliner in the mirror and touched it up a bit, ruffling my hair a bit and legging it up the stairs.




hmmm....what shall occur at this party??