FicWad

Gerard and Frank hadn't talked since the morning when Gerard watched Frank's taxi pull away from the curb, fading into the messy streets of New York. And that was two weeks ago. Now things are back to a semi normal routine for the two heartbroken men. Frank got a small job working in an office a few minutes away from his mother's house in Jersey and Gerard still has his same job, the job that forced him to fire his boyfriend. Well actually that's a lie, nobody forced Gerard to fire anyone. His boss just told him to make sure that his employees were back to working at an appropriate speed. He had actually got yelled at for firing their best low level editor because Frank was indeed the best. His intentions when he went down to talk to the editors on the third floor was to just give them a warning but Frank's reaction to the whole situation started to infuriate Gerard. So Gerard, who obviously has no concept of thinking before you speak, blurted out that his lover was fired. Once the words left his lips he regretted them but he had to show that he wasn't weak and he needed to stand by his stupid words. Those words led him here. Lonely, sad, and angry.

Frank wasn't doing much better. His mother was smothering him just like she did before he moved out. There was no smoking allowed in the house or the front yard. 'God forbid the neighbors see you, Frankie!' He wasn't allowed to drink in front of her unless it was a 'simple glass of wine with dinner'. And on top of all of that he needed to get a stupid job at a stupid office that had nothing to do with writing. Frank was miserable, heartbroken, and hurt. And still there had been no word from his boyfriend. Shouldn't there have been nice flowers on his doorstep? No, it didn't even need to be that extreme, Frank just wanted a fucking phone call. Was that too much to ask? Frank couldn't believe after twenty eight months that he wasn't worth a phone call.

So the two men needed each other; that was obvious, but they were in fact men and they let their pride get the best of them. Frank didn't need to apologize. He wasn't wrong. He had told Gerard that he would fight for what was right and he did. Gerard didn't apologize yet because he couldn't admit to himself that he was wrong. Well he knew he was wrong but was he ready to say that out loud? Probably not. And that's where we are. In a crossroads, waiting for one man to come forward.

That one man would be Mr. Gerard Way. After spending almost two months away from the man that he loves, he decides that it's too much. He decides that he was stupid and he needed to fix his mistake. So this is where we find Mr. Way, sitting in the taxi, after getting off the train from Penn, on his way to Frank's mother's house where hopefully he can grovel to his boyfriend until he forgives him.

Once outside the typical Jersey home, Gerard pays the driver and steps out of the car, staring at the home that hopefully contains his boyfriend. Taking a deep breath and running his hands through his hair, he makes his way up to the front door, ringing the bell. While he waits for the door to open, he hears the soft conversation between mother and son.

“Honey, can you get that?”

“But, Ma, I'm upstairs and you're in the kitchen.” Frank's sweet, aggravated voice carries through the halls of the house to his mother.

“I know, but I'm in the middle of cooking. Just get the door, Frankie.” Then there's silence and he's sure that soon his small lover will be standing in front of him.

He's not sure if he would have rather Frank's mom open the door. Y'know, give him time to brace himself for the inevitable. But regardless of what he wants, the door starts to open, the hinges creaking, and soon Frank's small tattooed body is in front of him.

At first he's at a loss for words. Frank is beautiful. Plain and simple. He'd actually forgotten how beautiful he was; how sad is that? Frank's hair in messy, probably from laying on his bed, and he's wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt. A sweatshirt that Gerard had bought him, may he just add. And he's staring at Gerard in a somewhat shocked somewhat pissed manner. And it wasn't until then that he realized that he still hasn't spoken a word.

“Uh, hi. I, uh, wanted to know if we could maybe go for a walk and possibly talk? If you're busy or something that's cool. I just, uh, want to talk to you soon.” Gerard stumbles over his words. He had planned out an entire speech on his train ride in here but after seeing the beauty in front of him, he lost his words.

Frank watches Gerard for a moment and squints his eyes, debating in his head what his response should be. After a few moments of deliberation Frank nods, holding up a finger to Gerard, gesturing 'one sec' before stepping back into his house. Once inside, he slips on his shoes, tells his mother he's leaving and walks back to the front door opening it.

“You have to the park and back. That's it.” Frank warns Gerard before slipping out of the house, shutting the door behind him. Gerard is grateful that the park is about fifteen minutes away. He's sure it'll take that long to get the words he needs to say out.

The two men begin their walk in silence, which for Gerard is very stupid. Frank is strict on his time limit. There would be no last minute pleading on the doorstep. So when they finally make their way off of Frank's block Gerard takes a deep breath and lets it all go.

“I was stupid, Frankie. I was an idiot. I don't know why I said that you were fired, I didn't mean it. But at the time I needed to mean it. I had to show the other editors that I wasn't a softy, y'know? And, like, the words literally just slipped out of my mouth so I had to back them up.” He pauses and shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

“Then I was so stupid not to immediately run to your place and apologize but after you ignored my calls I thought you wanted to be alone so I gave you time alone. Then I was too scared. If I went to your apartment and you told me that we were over then it would be real. Losing the best thing to ever happen to me would be real and I couldn't face that.

“The day that I went to your apartment was the day that the new editor took your desk. And that broke me because it made it real. You weren't just out sick, like I had been pretending when I saw your empty desk. You were gone and it was all my fault. Then when you told me you were leaving I was in shock, I guess. I couldn't believe that you were actually leaving. And that is was my fault.” Gerard took a deep breath and bit the inside of his lip. There's more he wants to say. There's more he needs to say.

“Yesterday I was talking to Mikey, and he asked if we were broken up and I didn't know what to tell him. We had never actually said the words 'break up' to each other so I didn't know where we stood. I know that I don't want us to be broken up but I didn't know what you wanted. So I made the decision that I would come here today. I would tell you how I felt and it would be up to you. If you want me back. I'm yours. If you want me to leave. I'll leave and never come back. But it's up to you now, Frank.” Gerard finished his speech and waited for Frank to respond. He was waiting for Frank to do anything really.

The moment they hit the park, Frank found a bench and sat down on it. Obviously that wasn't part of the rules he had set for Gerard but he needed to sit down and think over everything Gerard just admitted to him.

Gerard sat down next to Frank, confused, but hopeful. Frank was giving them more time together. This was a good thing. He thought.

Frank sat on the bench, his hands squished between the wooden bench and his thighs, digesting the words. After a few more minutes of silence Frank turns his head, looking at Gerard.

“You don't get to say that to me, Gerard.” He spoke quietly, watching his slightly older boyfriend as his eyebrows furrowed and he turned himself to face Frank.

“Say what?”

“That it's up to me. It was never up to me. You were the one who fired me. You were the one who abandoned me. I didn't take your phone calls because I shut off my phone. I didn't want an apology from your voice. I wanted one from you.” Frank says slowly and quietly.

“But I came to your apartment. You still left.”

“But you didn't fight, Gerard. You didn't fight for us.” Frank's voice began to rise as he got more upset. “You still aren't fighting for us. You are just going to sit back and let it happen. Would you really be okay with me walking away from you right now and you never seeing me again?” Frank's hands moved from under his thighs and began to accent his words like the true Italian he is.

“If that's what you wanted, then yes.” Gerard responded easily.

“What do you want, Gerard?” Frank lowered his voice now so he was almost whispering.

“I want you.” He answered simply.

“Then fight for me. I've been fighting for us for a long time now. I'm tired.” Now he is whispering. Gerard can hear the dullness in his voice, showing the evidence of his fatigue.

Now it's Gerard's turn to whisper, “I don't know what you want me to do. I kind of thought I was fighting.”

Frank sighs and turns his head. “No this is not fighting. This is you giving up and letting things happen. This is you putting it on my shoulders. I'm not the one who messed up this time, Gerard. It was you. You need to start fighting for me or this will be over.” And with that he stood up and began walking out of the park.

Gerard sat flabbergasted on the old, dirty park bench. What just happened? What did Frank want him to do? He wasn't sure. He turned his head and watched as Frank slowly began to get smaller and smaller in the distance. Did Frank want him to run after him? Or was he supposed to think about it and then go get Frank? How was he supposed to fight?

Eventually Gerard stood up off the bench and turned in the direction that Frank walked to. He could no longer see him but he knew where he was going. So Gerard started to run. He ran because he knew that when Frank got back to his house this would be over. He only had to the park and back. As his run turned into a sprint he finally saw Frank, walking slowly on the sidewalk across from where he was. Quickly crossing the street, after seeing it vacant from any cars, he caught up with Frank and grabbed a hold of his wrist, stopping him.

They both looked at each other for a minute and it all seemed so Hollywood to Gerard. He felt like his life was being directed and scripted and edited. He also felt like the writers of the movie he called life gave him another shot. This was the big climax. The moment when rain would fall and they'd have a romantic, beautiful kiss.

But this was not a movie and there was no writer scripting out the perfect moments for him. And Frank was not an actor, following the rules of a script. He was a person with his own thoughts and own emotions. And he was crying. When Gerard saw Frank's face it was red and blotchy and tear stained.


Gerard wasn't sure want to do. So he did what he normally did when Frank cried. He wrapped him in his arms and held him. But Frank wasn't clinging to Gerard like a normally would, in fact he was pushing away from him. He stepped away from Gerard and wiped his eyes, trying to hide the fact that new tears were already forming.

“Why do I have to tell you to fight? Why can't you just figure it out on your own? Am I not what you want? Do you not feel the need to do anything you can to keep me?” Frank questioned, his voice shaking as he spoke. “Because, I'm telling you Gerard if every fight we have, I have to be the one to keep us afloat, we will sink. I can promise you that.”

Gerard once again was shocked. How do you respond to that? What can he say to keep Frank? Was Frank right? Would their relationship eventually fall if he didn't start fighting? Probably but he didn't know how to fight. He was always the nerdy high school kid getting beat up. He didn't know how to fight. But at least physical fighting could be mimicked. You could watch it on TV and copy it. But emotionally fighting was something Gerard had no idea how to do.

So Gerard did the only thing he knew how to do. The only thing he could think of to fix this. He took a hold of Frank's hot, wet face and kissed him. He pressed his lips forcefully but carefully to Frank's showing him everything he was feeling. Fighting for Frank in his kiss.

Frank, shocked at first, got Gerard's message loud and clear in the kiss. He understood it. He knew that Gerard would try. He might suck at it and they might fall apart but he would try. That's all that Frank could really ask for anyway, right?

Possibly the end. I may do one more chapter or maybe a sequel if it's wanted. If not I'm sure I'll move on to something else. :D

Comment and let me know what you think! :D