FicWad

“Hmm, sorry Gee.” Frankie giggled as we all sat at the kitchen table, Frank and my brother being the only ones properly awake.
“Don’t worry about it… but never do it again. Kissing my brother, okay, you do that. Kissing him in front of me… meh, I suppose it’s alight and kissing him while sitting on my bed, no way. But kissing him in front of me, on my bed? Even if it’s just softly? No. No way in hell, Iero. No way.” Gerard stated, shuddering slightly and making me chuckle as I finished off heating the milk and put in some sugar and sprinkled chocolate on the top, handing it to Frankie and Gee and giving the others strong coffee.
“Ah, it’s just as good as when we were kids.” My older brother sighed, sliding down in his chair and closing his eyes, a small reminiscent smile playing about his soft features.
“Do you remember when I used to make you sweet tea when you got sick in the winter?” I asked and he nodded.
“Yeah, that was great.” He said, opening his eyes and grinning at me. “I know it’s stupid but I miss stuff like that.”
“It’s not stupid Gee, I miss it too.” I admitted, feeling a small twinge of guilt for moving out and away from my brother.
“Oh! I remember, I came over here once when Gee was ill and my parents were away. Then I got sick too and the three of us were piled into Gee’s bed for a week while Mikey made us tea and cookies.” Frank grinned, lacing his fingers with my own.
“You were what? Sixteen?” I asked and Frankie nodded.
“That really was awesome.” Gee said and rank pouted.
“No it wasn’t Gee. You spooned me in your sleep. Not fun.” Frank said and Gerard’s jaw dropped open.
“What?” He asked, eyes wide and Frank giggled.
“You heard. You were asleep so I didn’t tell you. To be honest, the only reason I didn’t pull away was because damn, you were warm and soft and your room was bloody well cold.” He stated and Gerard giggled.
“Yeah… I was one fat kid.” He stated and I nodded.
“Yeah, next to him I looked like a skeleton.” I pointed out, “Though come to think of it, Frank was skinnier, but he was small so no one really noticed how tiny he was.”
“Yeah, I always used to wear big hoodies so you wouldn’t notice how skinny I was.” He said, looking somewhat guilty.
“Frankie, it’s fine, seriously. All that’s in the past now.” I said, giving his hand a squeeze from across the table as he looked down at it. “It is, isn’t it?” I asked quietly, worried that Frank was keeping something from me.
“What? Yeah, of course it is I just…spaced out.” He said, still looking somewhat dreamy.
“What were you thinking about?” I asked, cocking my head on one side as he sighed, sagging slightly.
“What the hell I’ll do with myself for the next four damn months! What the hell am I supposed to do for four months?! I can’t behave and not do something crazy for four months! I’ll be bored as hell! I’m not allowed to do anything energetic, but damn, Tigger needs to bounce.” Frank complained, burying his head in his hands defeated, and I bit my lip looking at the guys who looked equally worried.
“Frankie… it’s okay, it’s only four months, you’ll have us.” I said and Frank scoffed, looking up at me.
“This is just like Catholic school! I wasn’t allowed to do anything at all! This is hell! You guys said you’d call and text when I went there but none of you ever did! Yeah, the first week I got a text goodnight from Mikey and Gee every night and that was it! Do you know how alone I was!?” Frank nearly screamed, seeming hysterical as he ripped his hand out of mine, pulling his knees up to his chest and hugging them as if they were his life support, crying helplessly. I looked at my brothers and band-mates, who’s eyes flickered to me; as much as any of us didn’t believe it, we knew it was true. Till he came back we hardly talked to him, our excuse was that we thought he’d forget us and that’s exactly what we thought. Seeing him like this now though, is showing us all much too clearly how much he remembered.
“Boys? Is everything okay?” My Mom asked, padding down the hallway in black silk pyjamas, rubbing her eyes and yawning. “I heard screaming.” She explained, stopping dead in her tracks when she saw Frank, curled up and crying into his knees that were brought up to his chest, his small and delicate form rocking backwards and forwards as he wrapped himself up in what I presumed was his bad memories of that awful school.
“Oh, Frankie. What’s wrong?” My Mom asked and Frank shook his head, stood up and ran to the front door, tears still streaming down his face as he ripped the door open and ran, his footsteps heavy yet somehow weak as we heard them rush down the old wood of the porch steps.
“What. The. Hell?” My Mom asked, looking at us incredibly confused but I shook my head, got up myself and ran after my only hope. Straight out of the warm safety of the house into the dark and cold danger of the New Jersey streets. I saw Frank legging it to the bottom of our street, near the park where we used to play and where six dead bodies were found in one week when I was twelve.
“Frank! Wait up! Please!” I begged, running to him as his small frame collapsed on the pavement second before I reached him. I knelt down next to his shaking form an wrapped my arms around him, holding him close as we both shook with the cold, the fear and the emotional pain. “Frankie…oh, Frankie. I’m so, so sorry, we should have called or text you every single day and night time, but we were just so scared. We were worried that you would stay there and not come back, or you’d find friends that were more worthy of you than we are, we were scared that you’d forget us. I had no idea how alone you felt and if I could take it back and make it better I promise that I would, I really do. I know that this is going to be difficult for you but I promise with all my heart, mind, body and my soul that we will be there for you. We’re going to help you through this, I know it’s going to be hard and you’ll be tempted to slip back into old habits but we’ll help you. Anything you need we’ll help you , anything at all. I love you Frank, God, I love you so much.” I sobbed, tears throwing themselves from beneath my eyelids as Frank kissed me passionately, his lips ferocious and needy against my own. All the pain and the love he was feeling was expressed in that one kiss as our tears and saliva mingled between our freezing faces in the cold air.
“I am so, so sorry Mikey.” Frank said, is voice dripping with love and apology as he rested his forehead against mine, gazing into my eyes with his bright green and red rimmed orbs.
“Shush now, there’s nothing to apologise for.” I told him, pecking his lips lovingly and causing his shoulders to sag slightly in relief.
“I was just so worried that you’d forget me, get bored with having to look after me. I know I’m a handful but I really try not to be, I just really didn’t want to be alone while I’m still ill.” He confessed in a whisper as my fingers laced with his own as the first icy drops of rain began to pour down on us both.
“I would never, ever forget you baby. Never think that, you’re worth everything, because I love you.” I whispered back, smiling softly as a small grin pulled at his own features.
“I love you too.” He said.
“Come on, let’s get you back inside before you freeze to death and get ill again.” I said, standing up and pulling him up with me, wrapping my arms around him as he threw his arms round my waist, making our way back to our New Jersey home.
My Mother’s raised voice could be heard as we walked up the porch to the still open front door and entered the hallway where I stopped Frank, placing a finger on my lips to tell him to be quiet.
“What the hell were you playing at Gerard? Huh? I told you boys to goddamn keep in touch with Frank but did you, no! Mikey was the only one who even bothered and then he had to stop because Frank turned his phone off and wasn’t answering the damn thing because his parents refused to pay it because he was only talking to Mikey! Do any of you boys even know how many times I have sat in the kitchen with Frank at God knows what hour while he’s crying his poor heart out? He didn’t have parents to ask to help him out! He still doesn’t! You are all my boys and I wouldn’t have it any other way, but Frank was scared to come and talk to you about what he was going through! He thought you’d think that he was just going to drag you all down and you wouldn’t want to know him because he’s a failure!
“That poor boy has been through hell and back on his own! He’s always there for you, being the ‘strong one’ and giving you a shoulder to cry on, why couldn’t you see what was wrong, huh? Every single time Frank would sleep over here, every single night I’d find him in the kitchen, sitting at the table; sometimes staring into space, sometimes crying or sometimes filling his arms and legs with horrid lacerations!” My Mom screamed and Frank whimpered, cowering behind me slightly. I kissed his head as we walked towards the living room door, stepping through to see the guys all sitting on the sofa and looking ashamed while my Mom stood over them with her hands on her hips, looking incredibly agitated at the three men before her.
“Don’t take it out on them, it’s not their fault that I was scared.” Frank whispered and my Mom froze and tensed her shoulders before turning on her heel and looking at Frank and me with an apologetic and sympathetic expression on her astounding Italian features.
“I’m sorry, Frank. How much of that did you hear?” She asked, stepping towards him and resting her hands on his shoulders, looking down on him as he looked up with frightened and upset eyes.
“Enough.” He whimpered, cowering away from my mother and into my arms as I wrapped them around him, his head buried in my chest as I rocked him slowly, trying to calm the soft shaking of his shoulders.
“I didn’t mean to scare you, Frank.” My mother whispered and he shook his head.
“You didn’t its fine. It’s just that I’ve realised I should have told them, instead of bothering you.” He whispered, clutching tight onto the material that covered my back as his inked arms stayed hooped round my skinny waist.
“You didn’t bother me, it’s fine, really.” She assured though left me to comfort him as I leant back against the wall of the living room.
“I’m going to make some breakfast then, okay? I’m so glad you boys are going to be off tour for Christmas.” She smiled warmly at us and walked into the kitchen as I carried on rocking Frank.
“Promise me something.” I whispered to him.
“What?” He asked, pulling away to examine my expression.
“Tell us. If you ever go through something like that again. Tell us.” I asked, hoping to God that he would accept the promise and keep it.
“I promise Mikey, I really do.” He said, looking me right in the eyes so I could tell he wasn’t lying to me.
“Thank you.” I said, truly grateful that he’s meant what he had just said.
“Boys! I know it’s like, what, six am but do you want some breakfast? I made pancakes!” My Mom shouted to us as we legged it o the kitchen. My Mom makes the best darn pancakes ever!
“I’ll just have a few, thanks.” Frank said as we sat down and I glanced at him nervously but he smiled back broadly, taking my hand under the table and squeezing it gently, causing me to smile with a soft blush.
“Okay dear.” Mom said as she piled our plates with pancakes, strawberries and chocolate sauce before giving Bob and Ray a generous dollop of whipped cream- just how we all like it.
“So, you excited about your birthday Frankie?” Mom asked and we all looked at her, confused.
“Um, my birthday’s like, months away.” He said and she smiled almost sympathetically and shook her head.
“It’s the twentieth of October today Frank, that’s only eleven days.” She said and Frank’s jaw dropped.
“The hell?” He whispered, almost in a gasp as he tuned his head towards me. “I forgot my own birthday!” He said, shocked before a grin climbed on his face and spread like the morning sun over an ocean as he squealed excitedly.
“It’s my birthday in eleven days!” He squeaked, giving me an out of the blue hug.
“I know! I have no idea what the hell to get you though!” I laughed and he pulled back and shook his head.
“You don’t have to get me anything. All I want is for you to be there.” He smiled at me and I beamed back as he took the first bite of his pancakes.
“Oh God.” Frank groaned, his face turning a sickly green as he ran full pelt down to Gee’s room and I could hear him retching from the kitchen.
“I’ll go.” I said, pushing Gee gently back into his seat as I jogged down the stairs to where Frank was slumped over the toilet, one hand clutching his stomach as the other one gripped the toilet he was puking so heavily into. I dropped to my knees behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist, rubbing small circles on his muscular stomach and encouraging him to get it all out of his system as he gagged again.
“Ouch.” He groaned when he had finished, turning to face me with a grimace tugging at his now pale and sweat slick features.
“Are you okay?” I asked, wiping some vomit from the corner of his mouth as he nodded weakly, collapsing into my arms again like the night before.
“Just getting de ja vou.” He muttered and I chuckled, thinking the same thing.
“That’s okay, I don’t mind.” I said and he reached up to kiss me gently and I accepted, uncaring to the slight taste of vomit on his cherry lips as they worked so gently against my own.
“Boys-um.” My mother’s voice said from the door and I pulled back from Frank, mentally face palming.
“It’s not what it looks like!” We both screamed even though it so obviously was.




Hehehe clifhanger...what will mother dear say?
Please R&R and you get skittles!!
Jackie
xxx